Sometimes...

... I wish I was a stronger person.

I had ice cream for dinner today.

Because I can.

Sometimes it's great to live on your own.

Nerdgasm

Bad pic, I know... But I had a nerdgasm so the pic quality is irrelevant.



On a side note, work is great. New boss is different. Work load is getting a little gross (removing grass becomes a little repetitive, but at least I have good conversation while we work). New sod comes in a week... eww. The members at the course plan on helping... "helping"... Bless their hearts but I'll believe it when I see it...

Went to beerfest. Cheap beer. It was like I was in first year again. Saw michael rault. He wasn't with his backup band (weird) so I might have to make another attempt before I pass judgement, but it left a little to be desired... maybe not, but it wasnt what i was expecting...

I'm seeing a financial planner, who's going to be discussing what sort of RRSP's are within my budget... if they are at all XD Should be interesting.

And... umm... yup

Work is Wprk

So I kinda quit working at the warehouse.

Monday I wasn't feeling well, but the foreman guilted me into staying my full shift.

Tuesday I woke up and still wasn't feeling peachy keen, so I phoned in to tell them I wouldn't be there.

Wednesday I woke up and felt better for having missed a day at the warehouse so I decided to take another. Thankfully I got the answering machine so I didnt have to play sick.

Wednesday afternoon I decided that having that many days off it was going to be rough to get back into the schedule so...

Thursday morning I just didn't go.

OH NOES! A no-call no-show! That's going to go on my record...


So I don't work there anymore... Just gotta get my roommate to take in my nametags when he goes to work.

The good news is I'm not unemployed... In 8 hours I will be at the Golf Course again! Yay!

yup... that's an update.

Regarding the Worst Job in the Universe

Well. maybe it's not the worst job in the universe, but it can be quite terrible...

I work in a warehouse atm. Please check your brain at the door. If I do happen to stumble into consciousness in the hours I am there, I want to tear open a box of whatever is nearest me (usually kitty litter, for some unfortunate reason) and find a creative way to kill myself...

Not because of an overwhelmingly urge to die. Just because killing myself in a creative way would require slightly more brain activity then anything else I could do in that building.

Seriously. It's like watching "EXTREME EXPLOSIONS 6" on Fox, that's how much thought it requires.

I called in sick the other day.

Not because I was sick, mind you. It was because I couldn't prepare myself for the boredom.

The golf course will be open soon... I got a "soon" phone call last week... Thank god... I don't know if I can make it much longer.

Wow!

Just wanted to say that Edmonton looks fucking BEAUTIFUL at -30C.

Seriously, I wish I had a high quality camera so I could document it for you readers... but it's surreal how awesome my view is from our balcony.

Early Morning Update

So watching those sympathy shows (and some of them being of the girly tear-jerk variety) I saw a symptom of a condition which really hit home:

"Older children and adults with [this disability] perform worse on tests of face recognition."

I of course became highly paranoid. I'm notoriously bad at recognizing people, even close friends, if they go through dramatic superficial changes. Most peoples though process is as follows:

This person looks familiar.
This is Martha.
Martha's hair is different.

my process is usually:

This person is looks familiar.
This person is looking at me like I know them.
STALL! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STALL!!!
...
Is that Martha?

Of course this doesn't happen too often with people I know well... but with people I don't see very often it happens all the time.


I locked myself out of my apartment Friday night. I had walked back from Rea's after swimming. I needed my magnetic card in order to get into the building, the magnetic card that I keep in my wallet, the wallet I didn't take with me swimming.

Conveniently my roommates were off gallivanting in hickvilles across the province... So I couldn't buzz to wake them up. Also, the 24-hour security on our building... is.. well... LAME... no one answered the phone... So I did what any logical person would.

I ventured out into the cold once again (at 2.30am, mind you). Skulking through the shadows I approached the ground floor suite of one of the nearby apartments. I then proceeded to bang on the window, waking the inhabitant of the apartment, and demanded they provide me a place to sleep. Never even considering no for an answer, I proceeded to make fun of their choice of video games, and pass out on their couch and sleep in as late as I possibly could (I could have woken up much much earlier, but making someone feel like a prisoner in their own home is a lot more fun).

This person, of course, ended up being Morgan... And I probably scared her half to death when I was banging on her windows (not that she lives in a sketch neighborhood or anything...


Define screening your calls? I never answer my phone if it's a number I don't recognize, but I don't really see that as screening. Especially since if I'm at home, my phone is not usually in a place where I'll notice it ring.

To make matters worse, the person who accused me of screening my calls, and (implied) being a flake is... well... kind of a hypocrite

And it's not that I'm intentionally missing his calls, not that I feel I have much to say. I'm not particularly keen on jumping back into a friendship that hasn't existed for two years, particularly when he (more or less) said "btw I'm not gonna give you any contact information" right before he left.


I wish my eczema would go away. It's gross. I like winter and all, but when you get patches of dry irritated skin that react poorly to dry cold weather (to the point where it's often painful to go outside), you don;t really get a chance to enjoy it.

At least the view from my apartment is nice.

What happens...

...when you [bleep] a word?

Especially an innocent word from an innocent song?

You get a reason for me to post twice in a day

gdzujk

Is it alright to be a little bit sad that a few hours from now, I will wake up and instinctively go right to my computer to check the weather forcast/radar imagery, knowing full well that it hasnt rained enough to cancel work more than twice in the last six months and that today probibly won't be an exception so I should eat some breakfast anyways and put on some warm clothes, maybe two pairs of socks today, get my unicycle out from the closet and start heading to work...

...only to remember that friday was my last day of the season...

As much of a pain as it was to drag myself out of bed every morning (especially when your boss is mad at you cuz you pissed off one of the important members) I am gonna miss the GC over the winter...

Oh well

here are some songs to cheer me (and you) up:


I Feel Fantastic - Jonathan Coulton
(cuz honestly what is more fun then medicating yourself into a state of perpetual bliss?)



and

KlanKooKout - Bo Burnham
(satire is funny... especially... well... offensive satire...)

Too Good Not To Share

My WHole Family.. - Bo Burnham

Not to be outdone by -j

I listen to a lot of radio... a lot of radio...

some days it's the only thing that keeps me sane whilst my employer, my coworks, the golfers, and complete strangers make fun of me (LOTS OF LEAVES MADE IT OVER THE FENCE!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! ***SOBSOBSOB***)

anyways...

The radio station I listen to is often quite hillarious... They have a weekly DnD report that makes me feel... well... I associate with it (especially the jokes about being a gnome)...

but ulimately, the reason I stick with the station I do is the songs they play... It's amazing how much some songs can really pick up the day, or make me a lot less bored (depending on the day, really) here's a selection of my favourites...

First off Muse -Supermasive Black Hole
favourite line "you're the queen of the superficial, but how long before you tell the truth?"

this song is a mixture of dark and falsetto with just the right mixture of catchy techno-esque sound which in my mind redeems muse from the trainwreck that is "starlight" (that song makes me gag and really turned me off muse for a while)



Next up is... umm... well... I couldnt find a proper video for it (cuz live performace + youtube = vomit) but here is Radiohead - Bodysnatchers... not even worth explaining why I like it since it doesnt shine in this video >.<

fave lyrics "I have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm trapped in this body and can't get out"



Next up is Rise Against - All the Good Left Undone

probibly the catchiest song (assides from the next one, but I'm getting ahead of myself) since it's the only one I can actually sing along with... I've always appreciated rise against and the contribution their songs have made to sonics play list, so here it is...

oh yeah... fave lyrics "I believe in angels, not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos; the kind that bring you home when home becomes a strange place"



If you've ever seen me thrashing about like a retard for no apparent reason it's wither because I've tripped, fallen, and accidentally swalled a piece of orange that was on the ground... or I am "dancing" to this next song (no... not actually sancing... but the beat definately gets to me a little more than it should)...

The lyrics are retardidly cheesy, and the song has little to no value other than being the song that makes me squeal with girlish delight...

Beck - Timebomb

(fave lyric... well... for lack of a valid option... "tick tick tick")



Against Me - Thrash Unreal

I'm getting tired.. so... I like this song?

favorite lyrics: "they dont know a thing about redemption, they dont know a thing about recovery, some people just arent the type for marriage or a family"



Still sleepy, but wanna get one more song off...

Jimmy Eat World - Big Casino

fave lyrics (because I belt it out when I'm stuck on a machine all day at work) "I have one last wish, and it's from the heart, let me down easy"
(music video embedding disbaled)

I laughed at work today.

The theme today for the radio station I listed to was "fashion"... so people call in and request songs that have to do with the topic and the DJ picks a few of them to play during the lunch hour.

This song made me laugh... and think...

LAZYBOY - Underwear Goes Inside The Pants

Why is marijuana not legal?
Why is marijuana not legal?
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons.
That's not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is:
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.I
f everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
"OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just:"
"Who's the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?"

Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity.
They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio.
Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."
Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru.
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized.
Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker.
There's room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,"You'll see. I'm going to take over the world of computers! I'll show them."

We're in one of the richest countries in the world,but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys.
Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do?
Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack?
He's homeless.

I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says "why don't you go get a job you bum."
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants.
I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.I
'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books.

Grandeur

Post Secrets is an amazing tool.

I use it to laugh, reflect, dream, laugh, cry, laugh, and be inspired.

One that really hit me was from a week or two (or three) ago was a guy, simply holding a sign saying something along the lines of "I truely believe that some day I'm goig to change the world"

I think that applies to me as well... I don't know how, and I dont know what... But theres just a feeling deep inside that despite all my laziness, I'm intended for greater things...

Yup... was thinking about that I was playing wow tonight.

Just Do It

Yes... work stuff is fun... Video games are fun... Toga parties are fun... Thats my life in a cookie jar

BC party

So at the risk of offending people in BC that I havent seen since arriving the other day (and possibly wont see due to the busyness and nature of my visit) here I am.

I've spent most of my trip out here quite sick. First it was because of the rapid and all-encompassing strip-mall-ification of my home town... Swear to god, I love starbucks... but theres like 11 more within walking distance of my parents house... and my parents live on a farm which is moderately well removed from from the city (although they do have city water, dsl internet connections, mail boxes, and garbage pick-up... all those modern conveniences I didnt get in my 12 years living here)

But yes... and if it isnt a strip mall, its a cancerous growth of townhomes... Don't worry folks... 300k will get you a nice little starter townhome with a LOVELY view into the bedroom of the exact same townhouse across the 14' wide alley (from both the front and back)

My parents dog's hate me... well... the jack russel terrier does... she just snarls and bites whenever I am nearby. The chiuauas just pee... on whatever and whoever is near them when I am around...

Yup...

I suppose I should make the most of my visit and get off the computer. I dedicate this video to Matty, Amb-sie-poo, and -J...

Yes Yes, My life is Sad

I have accepted the fact that in many ways I am a sad pathetic person. That being said, (regardless of the activity) if you devote the better part of 5 weeks on something, something that only a few thousand people in the world have done, it's gratifying and satisfying to have it done. So I present to you a screenshot of our Kael'thas Sunstider kill.



Yes ladies and gentlemen, that tall gangly pink haired troll is me. And around me are 24 of the 30 or so people who are as sad and pathetic as I am. Be happy for us.

A Message for the E-Stalkers

I think I've been getting too much vitamin D as of late... I really need a week or two where I can lock myself indoors...

My tanlines are becomming unhealthy, really they are.

I spent near all of my sparetime these last few days watching a show called Dexter. And I'm sure all the highlands people are tired of hearing about it, but I really do feel that show is the best I have seen in a long time (thanks pastor 'drew).

The premise is the life and adventures of a csi-style blood-spatter-analysis guy. The twist is he's a sociopath witha desire to kill, and uses his relations within the police force to track down and murder serial killers.

The characters are all so... developed? I dunno. They feel like real people, and interact how you would expect real people would react. All of them.

The show is graphic (think if CSI didnt have to worry about being syndicated for a 1pm afternoon slot) and a lot of the time the only thing that gets you through it is the fact that the sociopathic protaganist gets his jollies from a crime scene (btw, I should mention that if you have a queasy stomache, this show probibly wont be for you... it gets pretty grotesque).

The entire first season was rivetting. I honestly couldn't wait to watch the next episode (even though I had to) and now I cant wait for it to get on DVD so I can watch it again with the bonus features...

Yup...

I should probibly sleep...

Everyone be aware that August first is take back the rainbow day... feel free to ask for an explainatio)

O.M.G.

First off I heard a little girl yesterday say "Look mommy! he's riding a unipopcicle"

second is... this video... mesmerizing

Gonna try to be deep

I dislike being told that I don't understand, or worse yet that I can't understand. Sometimes it's justified and it's something I won't understand even if I really really try (the female hormone cycle, for example... It's one of those things you can't really understand until it's happened to you... thankfully for me it hasn't).

I had someone offload on me the otherday about the problems they have with they're own body image. I did my best to remain sympathetic and let her do most of the talking, but she ended it with "I dunno why I'm telling you this, you won;t understand". I interjected and asked what she could possibly mean, and what it boiled down to was - Neal is skinny, therefore Neal should be exempt from problems with body image.

This has bothered me, and since this is my blog, I'm gonna share a few things.

I am really REALLY skinny. With the exception of a few months (maybe closer to a year) in my entire life, I have been at a body weight that most people would consider unhealthy.

I can touch my middle fingers and thumbs around my upper thigh, and am within a few inches of being able to do it around my waist.

I am very skinny.

I also suffer from poor body image; Some days I look in the mirror and see myself as so skinny I feel natious. Some days I look in the mirror and see drooping and jiggling where I don't feel I should.

On days when I do feel good about myself, I am often bombarded by people like myself in the media. People my size are usually stock characters, and we're not usually the guy that gets the girl, or the guy that saves the day (with a few exceptions). We are nerdy. We are unsocialized. We are ridiculed. And we are instantly identified by our size.

Some days I wish I was the guy with the rock hard abs, walking around with no shirt on as all the ladies swoon while I pass.

I dont really know where I'm going with this... But I hope I made some sort of point... Western society bombards us all with unattainable goals of appearance, and then mock us when we can't get there. None of us are exempt. If you dont believe me, watch a show like "americas next top model" or "project runway" and listen to what the models say "my collar bone sticks out too much" "my torso is too long" "my knees are too fat" "my nose is too big"... These people, who are paid to be epitomy of perfection, are just as insecure as any of us... So please don't say I won;t understand...

I cut grass, I eat I sleep...

On another note, several of my viewers have wondered what the original soundtrack to that last video I posted could possibly be...



I think the rap fits better =P