It happens that humans, being social creatures, are quite succeptable to forming relationships.
AT leasts thats been my understanding from the various discovery and TLC shows on human behavior have lead me to believe...
And, judging from my experience in the gas station, I would most likely say that it is indeed true...
And I am starting to be on the conversational safe list with several of my regular customers...
Some I dont mind...
For example, the guy who works at the movie store... He gave me his band website...
http://www.myspace.com/manphetamine
And the lady that works for the rocky mountain express tells me about her treks each week (this week shes going to Jasper and Back)...
But I am also becomming popular with the nutballs, too... (I know, it probibly sounds like all my customers are nutballs... but just a fraction of a percent of them are... a very vocal fraction of a percent)
"Do you smoke pot? Cuz im selling"
"I met the chief of the reserve in Kelowna last October"
"My kids don't like it when I talk to their friends"
"can I take this stack of sports action tickets?"
These aren't from the same person, but that would be quite scary...
And people just offload their problems on me... Things I won't bother repeating... Mostly cuz I can;t think of a funny way to say "I think my kids are stealing money from my purse" or "if my boyfriend comes back tonight Im going to kill him"
hardee har har...
Peace out (lol, what a lame way to end this)
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Monday, June 20, 2005
POS Down
So... My streak of relatively eventless nights has been broken...
At about 2am this morning, PetroCan had a major malfunction... And all of the POS systems went down...
Now, under normal circumstances, this wouldnt be a problem... Of course normal and interac are not two words that go together in Canada... We still have the higest rate of interac usage, leaving a lot of people depndant on the service...
Now, knowing that no interac was going to be quite the problem, signs were placed in strategic places...
On a 12" by 12" plastic board (which happens to be the same yellow/amber colour that is used for road warning signs) were the words "INTERAC UNAVAILABLE"...
We placed these on each of the pumps (In the very centre, right beside where it tells you how much you've pumped), on each side of the glass entry door (slightly below eye level for me, inside and out), at the bank machine (when POS goes down, so does the ABM... we placed it over top of the LCD display)
We also had one on the counter over top of the lotto display...
Get ready for the stupidity...
Guy outside pumps gas, walks through te glass entry door, comes right up to the counter, asks for two packs of cigarettes, and tosses his debit card on the counter...
I gave him the bankest stare I could conjure...
I seriously couldn't believe what I was seeing...
"Well?" he interrupted... I was still staring in disbelief... Blinking occasionally...
"Debit's down"... I wanted to yell and throw the sign at him... But at this point in time, I felt someone had just knocked the wind out of me... with their stupidity...
I had now resorted to trying to blink him away...
Needless to say, it didnt work...
"Why didnt anybody tell me?"
*blink blink blink*
I pointed at the 6 signs I could see from where I was standing (I continued pointing at each one until he looked directly at it, then moved on to the next, and the next, etc)...
He paid with cash, and left... My eyes hurt from blinking...
Not five minutes later aguy pulls up to the pump, gets out, and puts his debit in to pay at the pump...
Fellow employee goes out to inform him that there IS A HUGE YELLOW SIGN THAT SAYS YOU CANT PAY WITH DEBIT! (like my strategic use of caps lock for effect? heh heh heh)
Well, he actually told him debit was unavailable, or something to that accord (I didnt listen in on the conversation)...
Employee comes back in, and we watch the guy at the pump (well... technically we watched the computer (he was behind pump 1 so we couldnt see what he was doing...)
anyways... The computer was giving us the play by play...
**Card Inserted**
**Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable**
**Card Inserted**
**Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable**
**Card Inserted**
**Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable**
Finally he comes inside (now you have to imagine this with a very thick chinese accent)
"Pump no wurkeen"
"Interac is unavailable"
"I put een card, pump no wurkeen!"
"You cannot pay with interac... you have to pay with cash"
"oh"
and he drove off...
At about 2am this morning, PetroCan had a major malfunction... And all of the POS systems went down...
Now, under normal circumstances, this wouldnt be a problem... Of course normal and interac are not two words that go together in Canada... We still have the higest rate of interac usage, leaving a lot of people depndant on the service...
Now, knowing that no interac was going to be quite the problem, signs were placed in strategic places...
On a 12" by 12" plastic board (which happens to be the same yellow/amber colour that is used for road warning signs) were the words "INTERAC UNAVAILABLE"...
We placed these on each of the pumps (In the very centre, right beside where it tells you how much you've pumped), on each side of the glass entry door (slightly below eye level for me, inside and out), at the bank machine (when POS goes down, so does the ABM... we placed it over top of the LCD display)
We also had one on the counter over top of the lotto display...
Get ready for the stupidity...
Guy outside pumps gas, walks through te glass entry door, comes right up to the counter, asks for two packs of cigarettes, and tosses his debit card on the counter...
I gave him the bankest stare I could conjure...
I seriously couldn't believe what I was seeing...
"Well?" he interrupted... I was still staring in disbelief... Blinking occasionally...
"Debit's down"... I wanted to yell and throw the sign at him... But at this point in time, I felt someone had just knocked the wind out of me... with their stupidity...
I had now resorted to trying to blink him away...
Needless to say, it didnt work...
"Why didnt anybody tell me?"
*blink blink blink*
I pointed at the 6 signs I could see from where I was standing (I continued pointing at each one until he looked directly at it, then moved on to the next, and the next, etc)...
He paid with cash, and left... My eyes hurt from blinking...
Not five minutes later aguy pulls up to the pump, gets out, and puts his debit in to pay at the pump...
Fellow employee goes out to inform him that there IS A HUGE YELLOW SIGN THAT SAYS YOU CANT PAY WITH DEBIT! (like my strategic use of caps lock for effect? heh heh heh)
Well, he actually told him debit was unavailable, or something to that accord (I didnt listen in on the conversation)...
Employee comes back in, and we watch the guy at the pump (well... technically we watched the computer (he was behind pump 1 so we couldnt see what he was doing...)
anyways... The computer was giving us the play by play...
**Card Inserted**
**Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable**
**Card Inserted**
**Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable**
**Card Inserted**
**Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable**
Finally he comes inside (now you have to imagine this with a very thick chinese accent)
"Pump no wurkeen"
"Interac is unavailable"
"I put een card, pump no wurkeen!"
"You cannot pay with interac... you have to pay with cash"
"oh"
and he drove off...
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Patience, Please
I'm sure you can imagine, working in a place where there are a lot of customers, and a lot of tasks to do, there needs to be room for a little bit of oversight... Especially in regards to customers that are doing slightly illogical things...
For example... (we're going back in time to Thursday, because I totally forgot this happened until this morning)
I was doing my other tasks whilst my fellow employee was serving customers...
To be specific, I was changing garbage bags and stocking products...
When I had finished (took about 15 minutes) I loaded myself up with more than an armful of collapsed boxes, and a half dozen relatively full garbage bags- and I headed towards the door, and onward in the dumpster...
Once outside, I noticed the was a car angle parked in the blindpot we have in full serve... The blind spot is the point where both the pillar holding up the building, and pump 7 block the view to any vehicles at pump 8... Normally, you can spot cars at pump 8 when you are walking around the store (as I was) but because she was agle parked, there wasnt a hope in heck of us seeing her, unless one of us happened to go outside..
Why you would angle yourself like that is beyond me... But I shall continue...
I didnt just drop all of the things I was carrying... I made eye contact with the lady, and nodded my head, then walked around the corner and placed all of the junk in a pile out of the way, and then hurried over to full serve...
Now imagine this...
A little old grey haired lady, driving an old ford tempo, with a handicap sign in the rear view mirror...
Now imagine this...
She glares at mean, revs her engine, and speeds out of the parking lot...
And flips me the finger on her way out...
hmm...
For example... (we're going back in time to Thursday, because I totally forgot this happened until this morning)
I was doing my other tasks whilst my fellow employee was serving customers...
To be specific, I was changing garbage bags and stocking products...
When I had finished (took about 15 minutes) I loaded myself up with more than an armful of collapsed boxes, and a half dozen relatively full garbage bags- and I headed towards the door, and onward in the dumpster...
Once outside, I noticed the was a car angle parked in the blindpot we have in full serve... The blind spot is the point where both the pillar holding up the building, and pump 7 block the view to any vehicles at pump 8... Normally, you can spot cars at pump 8 when you are walking around the store (as I was) but because she was agle parked, there wasnt a hope in heck of us seeing her, unless one of us happened to go outside..
Why you would angle yourself like that is beyond me... But I shall continue...
I didnt just drop all of the things I was carrying... I made eye contact with the lady, and nodded my head, then walked around the corner and placed all of the junk in a pile out of the way, and then hurried over to full serve...
Now imagine this...
A little old grey haired lady, driving an old ford tempo, with a handicap sign in the rear view mirror...
Now imagine this...
She glares at mean, revs her engine, and speeds out of the parking lot...
And flips me the finger on her way out...
hmm...
Zieg Heil
Don't be fooled by the clever name of my post... I have not sold my soul in order to be a part of the up and comming fourth reich... My name is just a seguay into my story of the day...
I have officially met the most racist person in the history of the world...
Now, keep in mind, that this is a very large shoe to fill... I have grown up a 'redneck' family, and honky terms for people of other nationalities are not always plesant...
From a very young age I knew what a spic was, and what a wop was, and I could tell you the difference between a chink and a jap (I didnt learn what a gook was until I learned that korean people werent chinks... kidding, please no hate mail)...
Well, needless to say, catching me off guard with racist terms, is a feat...
Well, travel back with me,
to last night, at 11:53
I had just recieved an automated phone call telling me that at 11:59pm, I needed to change the price from 86.9 to 102.2... huge, jump, I know...
Needless to say, in order to avoid any complaining customers, I changed the price of the road sign before I activated the prices at the pump... A long time before...
Now, shortly after I changed the road sign, a lady in a white car pulled up to pump one... At this point in time, the price at the pump was still 86.9, and there were still several other cars pumping gas (at the low price)...
When all the other vehicles had finished pumping (and with the road sign announcing 102.2, not too many new vehicles were comming in), I was waiting on the lone car with a female inside to decide wether she wanted to pump or not...
She was talking on her cell phone, and making no indication of wanting to pump gas... But I still waited..
When she got out of her vehicle, she came straight into the building...
Perhaps she saw the pay-at-the-pump sign... (bwahahahhahahaahaha)
When she came inside, she announced she wanted a pack of dumaurier regs, and headed straight for the washroom (assuming I would have them ready for her when she got back)
Now, under normal circumstances, I would take this to mean 'I just want cigarettes and a toilet'... and as such, I immediately started to change the prices at the pump (I figured I could finish before she got back)...
I missjudged how long it would take, and the price change report was printing just as she got back...
"whats that" she asked...
"its the printoff I get when I activate the prices"
"You changed the prices to 102.2? I'm not going to pay that! Why would you do that? You fucking kike! No you're worse than a Jew! Your worse than a nigger! you're a fucking nigger-jew!" (no, I am serious, this is the chain of logic she followed)
She repeated it a few times before she finally added 'goddamn' before 'nigger-jew'...
So now I'm on a quest...
Being someone of the chirstian persuasion, I know all about being goddamned... In fact, there are entire denominations devoted to picking out the 'god-damned' and seperating them from the 'god-blessed'...
But now I need to find out what a nigger-jew... Is it like a jewgaboo? If you are reading this, and you are in fact a nigger-jew, please inform me, what, exactly, defines you, or your culture...
Anyways, she didnt buy gas, and I totally through her off guard when I yelled "I love you" when she walked out the front door (she gave me the 'are you fucking kidding me' look when she turned around...)
The guy behind me thought the whole ordeal was hillarious... And she flipped me the finger as she drove off...
Goddamn Nigger-Jew hater!
I have officially met the most racist person in the history of the world...
Now, keep in mind, that this is a very large shoe to fill... I have grown up a 'redneck' family, and honky terms for people of other nationalities are not always plesant...
From a very young age I knew what a spic was, and what a wop was, and I could tell you the difference between a chink and a jap (I didnt learn what a gook was until I learned that korean people werent chinks... kidding, please no hate mail)...
Well, needless to say, catching me off guard with racist terms, is a feat...
Well, travel back with me,
to last night, at 11:53
I had just recieved an automated phone call telling me that at 11:59pm, I needed to change the price from 86.9 to 102.2... huge, jump, I know...
Needless to say, in order to avoid any complaining customers, I changed the price of the road sign before I activated the prices at the pump... A long time before...
Now, shortly after I changed the road sign, a lady in a white car pulled up to pump one... At this point in time, the price at the pump was still 86.9, and there were still several other cars pumping gas (at the low price)...
When all the other vehicles had finished pumping (and with the road sign announcing 102.2, not too many new vehicles were comming in), I was waiting on the lone car with a female inside to decide wether she wanted to pump or not...
She was talking on her cell phone, and making no indication of wanting to pump gas... But I still waited..
When she got out of her vehicle, she came straight into the building...
Perhaps she saw the pay-at-the-pump sign... (bwahahahhahahaahaha)
When she came inside, she announced she wanted a pack of dumaurier regs, and headed straight for the washroom (assuming I would have them ready for her when she got back)
Now, under normal circumstances, I would take this to mean 'I just want cigarettes and a toilet'... and as such, I immediately started to change the prices at the pump (I figured I could finish before she got back)...
I missjudged how long it would take, and the price change report was printing just as she got back...
"whats that" she asked...
"its the printoff I get when I activate the prices"
"You changed the prices to 102.2? I'm not going to pay that! Why would you do that? You fucking kike! No you're worse than a Jew! Your worse than a nigger! you're a fucking nigger-jew!" (no, I am serious, this is the chain of logic she followed)
She repeated it a few times before she finally added 'goddamn' before 'nigger-jew'...
So now I'm on a quest...
Being someone of the chirstian persuasion, I know all about being goddamned... In fact, there are entire denominations devoted to picking out the 'god-damned' and seperating them from the 'god-blessed'...
But now I need to find out what a nigger-jew... Is it like a jewgaboo? If you are reading this, and you are in fact a nigger-jew, please inform me, what, exactly, defines you, or your culture...
Anyways, she didnt buy gas, and I totally through her off guard when I yelled "I love you" when she walked out the front door (she gave me the 'are you fucking kidding me' look when she turned around...)
The guy behind me thought the whole ordeal was hillarious... And she flipped me the finger as she drove off...
Goddamn Nigger-Jew hater!
Friday, June 17, 2005
The things I Put up with...
I decided to put up a repetitious name for expressive reasons...
You see, I feel like a broken record, complaining about the same stupid things over and over... and the sad thing is (and anyone in service feel free to back me up) this is because the people I deal with do not improve in intelligence in any way shape or form...
I am dealing with the same stupid issues, often with the same stupid people...
Point and case...
A gentleman comes in and starts screaming at my coworker because the pump charged him an extra $0.42, which he, himself was not willing to pay...
If you read back to last summer, this story has a striking resemblence to the debit lady...
I had a guy come in and very sterly tell me that my piercings are the stupidest thing he's ever seen in my life (I hope his little daughter turns out exceptionally whorish when she grows up... and ends up starring in a piercing fetish gangbang porn flick)
But, again, this is (more or less) what happended last summer...
I've been offered drugs on more occasions than I dare to count; I've seen car accidents caused by people leaving their cars in neutral; and I had to tell mor people not to smoke at a gas station (potential ignition source + volitile liquid + Me = pissed off me)...
Ugh!
And I had to tell more under age punks that their addiction to tobacco means absolutely nothing to me, and that I am not willing to risk losing my job and getting a fine so that they can pretend to be cool...
On the plus side, I am learning basic punjabi (polite greetings, numbers, and a brief explaination of why they shouldn't use fullserve) and I got another raise today (apparently I'm doing an okay job... hehehe... if she only know)
You see, I feel like a broken record, complaining about the same stupid things over and over... and the sad thing is (and anyone in service feel free to back me up) this is because the people I deal with do not improve in intelligence in any way shape or form...
I am dealing with the same stupid issues, often with the same stupid people...
Point and case...
A gentleman comes in and starts screaming at my coworker because the pump charged him an extra $0.42, which he, himself was not willing to pay...
If you read back to last summer, this story has a striking resemblence to the debit lady...
I had a guy come in and very sterly tell me that my piercings are the stupidest thing he's ever seen in my life (I hope his little daughter turns out exceptionally whorish when she grows up... and ends up starring in a piercing fetish gangbang porn flick)
But, again, this is (more or less) what happended last summer...
I've been offered drugs on more occasions than I dare to count; I've seen car accidents caused by people leaving their cars in neutral; and I had to tell mor people not to smoke at a gas station (potential ignition source + volitile liquid + Me = pissed off me)...
Ugh!
And I had to tell more under age punks that their addiction to tobacco means absolutely nothing to me, and that I am not willing to risk losing my job and getting a fine so that they can pretend to be cool...
On the plus side, I am learning basic punjabi (polite greetings, numbers, and a brief explaination of why they shouldn't use fullserve) and I got another raise today (apparently I'm doing an okay job... hehehe... if she only know)
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Things I Put Up With Cuz I Am Paid to Do It
Perhaps the longest title I have ever used... Generally I like to keep them short, but I suppose I'll let this one slide...
Okay, I know your probibly think "holy gees! Another update?"
Well, I'm trying to inflate my ego as much as I can, and the more you guys check back here looking for updates the faster my pave view counter will climb...
Mwahahaha... I'm an evil genius...
Just so you guys dont get your hopes up, this is more a complaint about a lame vehicle than a lame person... And everyone knows I complain better about people than I do about inanimate objects... (although some inanimate objects are significantly more intelligent than some of the people I deal with)...
Well... on to the story...
Two ladies come through full serve...
Actually, they came to get gas and ended up in full serve... They missed the full serve sign (adding to my case towards getting a 'fucking' sign... bwahahaha)...
They didnt really care they were in full serve, as they were in a company vehicle paying with a complany card. Must be nice, eh?
Well, they both step back into the cab of the truck to continue their conversation and leave me to fill their tank...
unbknownst to me, this was going to be the most difficult thing I had ever done (much MUCH more difficult than passing calculus)...
You see, I dont think this truck was designed to fit a conventional gas nozzle...
And by that I mean, the nosal was hard as hell to get in... Thankfully I am the king of getting big things in small holes... or was that small things in big holes... I can never remember...
Regardless... I get the nozzle in there and start pumping away...
Well, if by away, you mean to $0.07... Then, yes, away I went...
Now, I would like to think I know a lot about filling gas tanks up with gasoline... And im pretty certain I know most of the tricks in the book about avoiding the auot kickoff...
But this thing was just retarded... I was angling, I was holding back I was putting the gasoline in so goddamn slow that there is no goddamn way the goddamn thing should have goddamn kincked off...
But it did... After several minutes of fighting, and making it to $2.30 in $.03-.07 incriments, I finally sought out the aid of the two ladies in the car...
Their advice... Turn the nozzle upised down and pump slowly...
I follwed half of their advice (as I wanted to get away from this vehicle of satan as fast as I could), and when it started pumping smoothly, I was so relieved...
...that i forgot that turning the nozzle upside down would render the automatic kickoff completely useless...
...which it did...
...and spilled gasoline... and a lot of it...
I felt like such a tool... Standing there in full serve with litres and litres of gasoline on the ground (well.. it was probibly significantly less than a litre, but that didnt decrease the 'tool' potential)...
Worse yet, there were two tanks to be filled and I was only half way finished (joy!)...
The second thank, I took at a much more leisurely pace... And I was turning red from embarassment... So standing out there for the few minutes that it took felt like death...
I had hoped to retire from the petroleum distribution profession victorious... But this will forever put a smear on my name... and my childrens names...
how will I ever show my face again?
Oh! mac'n'cheese is ready!
Okay, I know your probibly think "holy gees! Another update?"
Well, I'm trying to inflate my ego as much as I can, and the more you guys check back here looking for updates the faster my pave view counter will climb...
Mwahahaha... I'm an evil genius...
Just so you guys dont get your hopes up, this is more a complaint about a lame vehicle than a lame person... And everyone knows I complain better about people than I do about inanimate objects... (although some inanimate objects are significantly more intelligent than some of the people I deal with)...
Well... on to the story...
Two ladies come through full serve...
Actually, they came to get gas and ended up in full serve... They missed the full serve sign (adding to my case towards getting a 'fucking' sign... bwahahaha)...
They didnt really care they were in full serve, as they were in a company vehicle paying with a complany card. Must be nice, eh?
Well, they both step back into the cab of the truck to continue their conversation and leave me to fill their tank...
unbknownst to me, this was going to be the most difficult thing I had ever done (much MUCH more difficult than passing calculus)...
You see, I dont think this truck was designed to fit a conventional gas nozzle...
And by that I mean, the nosal was hard as hell to get in... Thankfully I am the king of getting big things in small holes... or was that small things in big holes... I can never remember...
Regardless... I get the nozzle in there and start pumping away...
Well, if by away, you mean to $0.07... Then, yes, away I went...
Now, I would like to think I know a lot about filling gas tanks up with gasoline... And im pretty certain I know most of the tricks in the book about avoiding the auot kickoff...
But this thing was just retarded... I was angling, I was holding back I was putting the gasoline in so goddamn slow that there is no goddamn way the goddamn thing should have goddamn kincked off...
But it did... After several minutes of fighting, and making it to $2.30 in $.03-.07 incriments, I finally sought out the aid of the two ladies in the car...
Their advice... Turn the nozzle upised down and pump slowly...
I follwed half of their advice (as I wanted to get away from this vehicle of satan as fast as I could), and when it started pumping smoothly, I was so relieved...
...that i forgot that turning the nozzle upside down would render the automatic kickoff completely useless...
...which it did...
...and spilled gasoline... and a lot of it...
I felt like such a tool... Standing there in full serve with litres and litres of gasoline on the ground (well.. it was probibly significantly less than a litre, but that didnt decrease the 'tool' potential)...
Worse yet, there were two tanks to be filled and I was only half way finished (joy!)...
The second thank, I took at a much more leisurely pace... And I was turning red from embarassment... So standing out there for the few minutes that it took felt like death...
I had hoped to retire from the petroleum distribution profession victorious... But this will forever put a smear on my name... and my childrens names...
how will I ever show my face again?
Oh! mac'n'cheese is ready!
Tiresome People
My title for this is slightly misleading... There is actually only one person whom was really tiresome...
I'll give you a hint she was a customer... and she was bitchy...
Thats right, a bitchy customer...
Well, I bet you all know I have a story to tell...
I was in the midst of serving a customer (my co-worker was stocking the potato chips) when a full serve pulled up...
I was just waiting for the debit to go through, so I yelled to my co-worker that all was fine, and that I would get the full serve so she could continue putting away the salty-packaged-bags-o'-potato-goodness...
Enter the bitch...
She had come running in from the full serve pump (keep in mind this is a period of about 20 seconds between swiping the card, customer entering debit info, and recipt getting printed... we are the most debiting country in the world, you should all be familiar with the process)... She throws (and I mean balls up and physically tosses) a $5 bill at me all the while saying in a raised and angry tone "If we have to prepay there should be a fucking sign"
I wanted to shout back "If you didnt see the fucking full serve sign then why the fuck would you see the prepay sign?"
but I didnt...
The moral of the story is i want to now petition to put up a sign that says "fucking only"... or something... That was whenever someone tells me I "need to have a fucking sign" I can point to it...
I'll give you a hint she was a customer... and she was bitchy...
Thats right, a bitchy customer...
Well, I bet you all know I have a story to tell...
I was in the midst of serving a customer (my co-worker was stocking the potato chips) when a full serve pulled up...
I was just waiting for the debit to go through, so I yelled to my co-worker that all was fine, and that I would get the full serve so she could continue putting away the salty-packaged-bags-o'-potato-goodness...
Enter the bitch...
She had come running in from the full serve pump (keep in mind this is a period of about 20 seconds between swiping the card, customer entering debit info, and recipt getting printed... we are the most debiting country in the world, you should all be familiar with the process)... She throws (and I mean balls up and physically tosses) a $5 bill at me all the while saying in a raised and angry tone "If we have to prepay there should be a fucking sign"
I wanted to shout back "If you didnt see the fucking full serve sign then why the fuck would you see the prepay sign?"
but I didnt...
The moral of the story is i want to now petition to put up a sign that says "fucking only"... or something... That was whenever someone tells me I "need to have a fucking sign" I can point to it...
Monday, June 13, 2005
Weekend
So its been a few days since my last update.. I apologise.. I worked a lot this weekend and time that I wasn't working, I wasn;t sitting on my ass in front of the computer (I know its hard to believe but youre going to have to just accept it)...
Where to start...
If I said that I just had the most entertaining weekend of work ever, I would be lying out of my ass... It was, more or less, painful from the very get go...
Thursday night started off alright, I had reached my upsell quotient before 11pm (I know, woot woot) Thats when it all went to hell... People just stopped comming... Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be complaining about this, buts it has been a long while since I worked a weekday graveyard, and I have to say, it was dead... I was taking back to back smoke breaks to pass the time after I had done all my chores and whatnot...
And then, during the last hour where I'm supposed to prep the store to switch shifts (change the mop water, brew the different flavors of coffee etc), people just started swarming the store... Welcome to the weekday commute... Which I had totally forgotten about... Next thing I know, Im selling out of coffee as fast as I can make it, I have customers lined up at the pumps and at the till, I can't get the store in to lockdown to change the mop water, and I havent even started counting cigarettes...
The morning staff thought it was hillarious...
After getting home and having a brief nap, I woke up to go tux shopping 9cuz i needed a tux)... Follwed by movies with friends followed by another graveyard shift...
And let me say, this one was fun...
It started off busy (as fridays usually do)... My friends (who stopped by) noted how many more people are at our gas station as compared to the gas station of another friend... I had already attempted for 20 minues to clean up an amazing large slurpee spill (I think somneone somehow managed to hook a hose to the slurpee dispenser and allow it to flow directly onto the floor) of which no customer thought to inform me... but judging by the number of foot prints trudged through the store, they all went out of their way to walk through it... I was failing, more or less, at the cleanup, but I was at least able to get most of the colour gone... just not the goo-stick that I so much detest...
So back to my story... My friends are trudging through the store, trying to entertain themselves until I have a few free moments (doesnt happen too often, but they were hopeful) when Shannon (shannonspoetry.blogspot.com) informs me that someone had knocked over a conatiner of $0.05 candies... She then points at the purp. whom was trying to conceal his identity over at the sunglasses and magazine station of the store... I'm still trying to serve customers, so i bribe shannon and sharon (sharessharing.blogspot.com) with slurpees to clean it up for me...
After they are finished, and we have chatted a little bit, the guy finally comes up to the counter to pay for his things (a bottle of pop and a few candies) and informs me
"I may have spilled a few candies"
First off, this is several minutes after the initial incident, and a few minutes after the cleanup (which he was standing next to, and not participating in), and it was a large tub of candies... not a few... And why the fuck would you walk away from sucha big mess... And why the fuck would you admit to it, and then not apologise? Did he not see that i had to get patrons of my store to clean it up for him? did he not see that there was a lot of candy that can no longer be sold because of his actions?
I know, Im getting upset over candies... And I think I handled it really well... but I think I burned a hole through his jacket with my glaring...
And thats not where it ends folks (well.. thats where that story ends...)
Not more than a few minutes after this guy, two sketch guys come into the store and make some relatively sketch purchases on a totally sketch credit card, that had conviniently lost the magnitivity of its magnetic strip...
O of course, phoned visa...
It took about 10 minutes (maybe 15... I can never really be sure, Im horrible at guessing time)... But visa gave me clearance on the card, and everything was hunky dory... Except for the fact, that this entire time, I was not able to serve any other customers... who were lining up in throngs... and looking angrier by the minute...
I was throwing out free coffee and slurpees like confetti at time square to appease the horde...
I finally managed to get my baking started at 130 that night (normally it would be done and I would have been doing dished by that time) So needless to say, nothing got done... Especially when you consider that some drunk wench (I'm talking sleazy bar wench, not hot pirate ship wench) spent like 25 minutes going through the store looking for something to eat to make herself feel better... she was obviously upset about something... maybe she finally realised how whoreish kneehigh stilleto boots, short-shorts and a clevage based tanktop (sans bra) made her look... but who am I to jusdge, right?
While she was looking for comfort food, I was forced to do only duties which can be done in plain sight of the entirity of the sotre... ie: stock things, and clean counters...
Now, I dont know about you, but once youve cleaned a counter, it generally remains clean for quite a while (unless children are buying slurpees nearby)... so towards the end of her little shopping experience, I was banging my hear on the glass lotto display to pass the time...
My night ended rather abruptly... Like I said, I didnt have a chance to getmost of my work done, and so I was frantically running around to get things done when the morning staff showed up...
Saturday was a bit more entertaining...
A friend from highschool... Well, sorta a friend, we got along quite well, but we stopped talking after our school split up into clayton/tweedsmuir... Came in and ordered cigarettes... now my friend isn't actually the eldest looking fellow, but since he was in my grad class, he is, at the very least, 20 years old, and so giving him his cigarettes wasn;t a problem at all... in fact, I will go so far as to say it was a problem free transaction... Well... My having not asked for I.D. gave balls to the twelve year olds in the store, who proceeded to come up to the counter with (I'm not making this up... I don't think I could make this up) a bottle of orange crush, a pack of bubbalicious bubble gum, and, here's the punchline, asked for a pack of captain blacks...
I tried my darndest not to laugh... (It's happened 'fore that a person whom I though looked no more than 15 had two pieces of photo identification, and a health care card prooving that he was 27... I felt like an ass...) I asked for some ID, they said they didnt have any, I said no ID no sale...
The words that came out of their mouth after that was something I will not repeat here... I'm sure you can guess what sort of explatives they used (a few of them I've already used in this post)...
Then they go off on "you let that last kidbuy smokes without ID" to which I replied "you mean tyler whom I've known for 8 years and who graduated the same year as I?"
That shut them up... and they ended up not buying their candies and pop...
Fucking pretentious little shits...
But I digress...
Finally, I got called in for a shift sunday evening (I covered for a sick staff member... not because I need the added stress, more because I know that if I ever need a day off, it's better to have specific instances to refer to)
It was just a four hour shift... But we couldn't keep the slurpee off of the floor...
It was just spill after spill after spill...
I was considering doing a 'Hulk' like thing and picking the slurpe machines up off the floor and throwing them though the large glass wall at the front of the store, and then running through the streets causing havoc...
But I didn't...
And that was my weekend...
(I also ate quish, kabobs, lamb, basil, and pepperoni somewhere in there, too... but I figured that was implied...)
Where to start...
If I said that I just had the most entertaining weekend of work ever, I would be lying out of my ass... It was, more or less, painful from the very get go...
Thursday night started off alright, I had reached my upsell quotient before 11pm (I know, woot woot) Thats when it all went to hell... People just stopped comming... Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be complaining about this, buts it has been a long while since I worked a weekday graveyard, and I have to say, it was dead... I was taking back to back smoke breaks to pass the time after I had done all my chores and whatnot...
And then, during the last hour where I'm supposed to prep the store to switch shifts (change the mop water, brew the different flavors of coffee etc), people just started swarming the store... Welcome to the weekday commute... Which I had totally forgotten about... Next thing I know, Im selling out of coffee as fast as I can make it, I have customers lined up at the pumps and at the till, I can't get the store in to lockdown to change the mop water, and I havent even started counting cigarettes...
The morning staff thought it was hillarious...
After getting home and having a brief nap, I woke up to go tux shopping 9cuz i needed a tux)... Follwed by movies with friends followed by another graveyard shift...
And let me say, this one was fun...
It started off busy (as fridays usually do)... My friends (who stopped by) noted how many more people are at our gas station as compared to the gas station of another friend... I had already attempted for 20 minues to clean up an amazing large slurpee spill (I think somneone somehow managed to hook a hose to the slurpee dispenser and allow it to flow directly onto the floor) of which no customer thought to inform me... but judging by the number of foot prints trudged through the store, they all went out of their way to walk through it... I was failing, more or less, at the cleanup, but I was at least able to get most of the colour gone... just not the goo-stick that I so much detest...
So back to my story... My friends are trudging through the store, trying to entertain themselves until I have a few free moments (doesnt happen too often, but they were hopeful) when Shannon (shannonspoetry.blogspot.com) informs me that someone had knocked over a conatiner of $0.05 candies... She then points at the purp. whom was trying to conceal his identity over at the sunglasses and magazine station of the store... I'm still trying to serve customers, so i bribe shannon and sharon (sharessharing.blogspot.com) with slurpees to clean it up for me...
After they are finished, and we have chatted a little bit, the guy finally comes up to the counter to pay for his things (a bottle of pop and a few candies) and informs me
"I may have spilled a few candies"
First off, this is several minutes after the initial incident, and a few minutes after the cleanup (which he was standing next to, and not participating in), and it was a large tub of candies... not a few... And why the fuck would you walk away from sucha big mess... And why the fuck would you admit to it, and then not apologise? Did he not see that i had to get patrons of my store to clean it up for him? did he not see that there was a lot of candy that can no longer be sold because of his actions?
I know, Im getting upset over candies... And I think I handled it really well... but I think I burned a hole through his jacket with my glaring...
And thats not where it ends folks (well.. thats where that story ends...)
Not more than a few minutes after this guy, two sketch guys come into the store and make some relatively sketch purchases on a totally sketch credit card, that had conviniently lost the magnitivity of its magnetic strip...
O of course, phoned visa...
It took about 10 minutes (maybe 15... I can never really be sure, Im horrible at guessing time)... But visa gave me clearance on the card, and everything was hunky dory... Except for the fact, that this entire time, I was not able to serve any other customers... who were lining up in throngs... and looking angrier by the minute...
I was throwing out free coffee and slurpees like confetti at time square to appease the horde...
I finally managed to get my baking started at 130 that night (normally it would be done and I would have been doing dished by that time) So needless to say, nothing got done... Especially when you consider that some drunk wench (I'm talking sleazy bar wench, not hot pirate ship wench) spent like 25 minutes going through the store looking for something to eat to make herself feel better... she was obviously upset about something... maybe she finally realised how whoreish kneehigh stilleto boots, short-shorts and a clevage based tanktop (sans bra) made her look... but who am I to jusdge, right?
While she was looking for comfort food, I was forced to do only duties which can be done in plain sight of the entirity of the sotre... ie: stock things, and clean counters...
Now, I dont know about you, but once youve cleaned a counter, it generally remains clean for quite a while (unless children are buying slurpees nearby)... so towards the end of her little shopping experience, I was banging my hear on the glass lotto display to pass the time...
My night ended rather abruptly... Like I said, I didnt have a chance to getmost of my work done, and so I was frantically running around to get things done when the morning staff showed up...
Saturday was a bit more entertaining...
A friend from highschool... Well, sorta a friend, we got along quite well, but we stopped talking after our school split up into clayton/tweedsmuir... Came in and ordered cigarettes... now my friend isn't actually the eldest looking fellow, but since he was in my grad class, he is, at the very least, 20 years old, and so giving him his cigarettes wasn;t a problem at all... in fact, I will go so far as to say it was a problem free transaction... Well... My having not asked for I.D. gave balls to the twelve year olds in the store, who proceeded to come up to the counter with (I'm not making this up... I don't think I could make this up) a bottle of orange crush, a pack of bubbalicious bubble gum, and, here's the punchline, asked for a pack of captain blacks...
I tried my darndest not to laugh... (It's happened 'fore that a person whom I though looked no more than 15 had two pieces of photo identification, and a health care card prooving that he was 27... I felt like an ass...) I asked for some ID, they said they didnt have any, I said no ID no sale...
The words that came out of their mouth after that was something I will not repeat here... I'm sure you can guess what sort of explatives they used (a few of them I've already used in this post)...
Then they go off on "you let that last kidbuy smokes without ID" to which I replied "you mean tyler whom I've known for 8 years and who graduated the same year as I?"
That shut them up... and they ended up not buying their candies and pop...
Fucking pretentious little shits...
But I digress...
Finally, I got called in for a shift sunday evening (I covered for a sick staff member... not because I need the added stress, more because I know that if I ever need a day off, it's better to have specific instances to refer to)
It was just a four hour shift... But we couldn't keep the slurpee off of the floor...
It was just spill after spill after spill...
I was considering doing a 'Hulk' like thing and picking the slurpe machines up off the floor and throwing them though the large glass wall at the front of the store, and then running through the streets causing havoc...
But I didn't...
And that was my weekend...
(I also ate quish, kabobs, lamb, basil, and pepperoni somewhere in there, too... but I figured that was implied...)
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Customer Loyalty Cards
I hope everyone here understands the purpose of customer loyalty cards... And why places like Save-on, Safeway and petro can use them... So we can track the spending habits of an indivual that we know the (age group, gender and marital status) of, providing us with needed information as to what sorts of items that (agre group/gender/marital status) is buying... This information is extremely valuable in regards to marketing, and far outweighs the cost of providing discounts to the consumer... We are, after all a profit driven private enterprise (thank you privitization of canadas natural resources several decades ago)... Anyways...
A guy comes in this evening, and gives me all boat loads of heck because I can't manually override the compute to take 3.5 cents off per litre (thus defeating the purpose of the 3.5 cents per litre in encouraging the consumers to use the very valuable card)...
I kept trying to beat it into his ever thickening skull that I am not able to provide him the benefits of a program which he refuses to participate in...
Then he goes into 'rage' script one section b (we've all heard it before): "blah blah blah you're incompetent... blah blah blah I'll call you're boss... blah blah blah enjoy working tonight cuz you're going to be fired tomorrow... blah blah blah I'm never shopping here again..."
*yawn*
Do people not realize that once you aknowlege you will be refraining from purchasing items or services, companies have no interest in providing those services and items... A person on a forum once told me that is why you get such crappy service when you cancel a cell phone or a long distance plan... Thats where the trainees or the "inch away from being fired"'s are put...
Like my boss is going to bend over backwards to help a customer who openly admits to never comming into our store again, so that he can rip her off 3.5 cents for every litre he puts in his dodge minivan...
I'll start looking for a new job on monday...
A guy comes in this evening, and gives me all boat loads of heck because I can't manually override the compute to take 3.5 cents off per litre (thus defeating the purpose of the 3.5 cents per litre in encouraging the consumers to use the very valuable card)...
I kept trying to beat it into his ever thickening skull that I am not able to provide him the benefits of a program which he refuses to participate in...
Then he goes into 'rage' script one section b (we've all heard it before): "blah blah blah you're incompetent... blah blah blah I'll call you're boss... blah blah blah enjoy working tonight cuz you're going to be fired tomorrow... blah blah blah I'm never shopping here again..."
*yawn*
Do people not realize that once you aknowlege you will be refraining from purchasing items or services, companies have no interest in providing those services and items... A person on a forum once told me that is why you get such crappy service when you cancel a cell phone or a long distance plan... Thats where the trainees or the "inch away from being fired"'s are put...
Like my boss is going to bend over backwards to help a customer who openly admits to never comming into our store again, so that he can rip her off 3.5 cents for every litre he puts in his dodge minivan...
I'll start looking for a new job on monday...
This'll be fun
Generally, I loathe sentimentality, so I have reservations about doing this... but I feel guilty cuz I participated on a different blog, and have yet to put his on my own... I'll sandwich this between a story, which I'll try to post right away...
01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal.
(In case you noticed, these are not necessarily serious questions so I will not necessarily put heartfelt and deep answers)
01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal.
(In case you noticed, these are not necessarily serious questions so I will not necessarily put heartfelt and deep answers)
Monday, June 06, 2005
Mop
So, as I'm sure you can imagine, I have to mop the the store at some point during my shift...
Its sad but true (I think I've mentioned mopping before, but never as an active complaint)
This weekend, mopping became my least favourite chore...
Imagine this... You arrive to work to find a note in your internal log (I'm sorry but I broke the mop).. followed a few pages later by "I think the replacement mop isn't broken" followed a few pages later still by "the dinkt little mop doesnt work at all"...
Joy!
So, I'm sure your all wondering, how does one mop a store with no mop?
A ha ha ha ha ha
You use a push broom which you have to dip in water every 10 seconds...
And it doesnt really 'mop' per se...
It more or less just pushes muddy water around the store...
but with repeated dipping and pushing, the water gets less and less murky...
Result: after 2 hours of mopping a store that looks like it has brown tiled flooring... and an employee whom looks like he wants to go home...
As a side note... If you are reading this, and your blog is listed on left hand side, and you have not updated your blog recently (I'll let you decide what recent is) I suggest you do so... I need something to read as well...
Its sad but true (I think I've mentioned mopping before, but never as an active complaint)
This weekend, mopping became my least favourite chore...
Imagine this... You arrive to work to find a note in your internal log (I'm sorry but I broke the mop).. followed a few pages later by "I think the replacement mop isn't broken" followed a few pages later still by "the dinkt little mop doesnt work at all"...
Joy!
So, I'm sure your all wondering, how does one mop a store with no mop?
A ha ha ha ha ha
You use a push broom which you have to dip in water every 10 seconds...
And it doesnt really 'mop' per se...
It more or less just pushes muddy water around the store...
but with repeated dipping and pushing, the water gets less and less murky...
Result: after 2 hours of mopping a store that looks like it has brown tiled flooring... and an employee whom looks like he wants to go home...
As a side note... If you are reading this, and your blog is listed on left hand side, and you have not updated your blog recently (I'll let you decide what recent is) I suggest you do so... I need something to read as well...
Friday, June 03, 2005
Multiple Purchases
Today was an alright day -- I was lazy as heck, but thats besides the point ;)
Anyways, an extended Sikh family comes in to the (I say extended because the three women look excpetionally alike and were wearing matching clothing... well their clothing was made of matching fabric... really nice silk...)
They brought with them children, who inevitably ran straight for the slurpee machine... Each person grabed a slurpee cup, filled it up and came back to the till... Otherwise, these would have been perfectly acceptable customers, had what transpired next not occured...
I ring in the slurpees, announce the total, ask for a ptro points card, offer the upsell (doritos for $0.79) and grab the method of payment. A mastercard.
I swipe it through and the computer goes through the verification process... I return the card...
It usually takes about 6 seconds, there is a timer on the computer...
About 4 seconds in to the verification, one of the ladies announces she would like a pack of Peter Jackson light kingsize.
I grab it, and ask for a method of payment, she slides the credit card back across the counter...
O...kay...
I ring it through...
This is where the boyfriend comes from out of nowhere, and puts bottles of pop on the counter, announcing this too (the recipt from the smokes transaction is already printing)...
I ring the bottles of pop in, ask how theyd like to pay for this, the credit card comes sliding back...
This time I check... "Is this everything?" I ask sheepishly...
*nods*
I swipe the card a third time, verification again...
The boyfriend is halfway across the store grabbing bags of chips before the recipt starts printing...
He comes back with two bads of doritos (on special for 2/$5), for the final transaction on the card...
So now I'm standing here waiting for him to sign for all four purchases (each recipt is a must sign) thinking "I hope he gets a paper cut"...
No such luck...
My last hope is that he gets charged an exhorbant amount when he exceeds a certain number of transactions...
Anyways, an extended Sikh family comes in to the (I say extended because the three women look excpetionally alike and were wearing matching clothing... well their clothing was made of matching fabric... really nice silk...)
They brought with them children, who inevitably ran straight for the slurpee machine... Each person grabed a slurpee cup, filled it up and came back to the till... Otherwise, these would have been perfectly acceptable customers, had what transpired next not occured...
I ring in the slurpees, announce the total, ask for a ptro points card, offer the upsell (doritos for $0.79) and grab the method of payment. A mastercard.
I swipe it through and the computer goes through the verification process... I return the card...
It usually takes about 6 seconds, there is a timer on the computer...
About 4 seconds in to the verification, one of the ladies announces she would like a pack of Peter Jackson light kingsize.
I grab it, and ask for a method of payment, she slides the credit card back across the counter...
O...kay...
I ring it through...
This is where the boyfriend comes from out of nowhere, and puts bottles of pop on the counter, announcing this too (the recipt from the smokes transaction is already printing)...
I ring the bottles of pop in, ask how theyd like to pay for this, the credit card comes sliding back...
This time I check... "Is this everything?" I ask sheepishly...
*nods*
I swipe the card a third time, verification again...
The boyfriend is halfway across the store grabbing bags of chips before the recipt starts printing...
He comes back with two bads of doritos (on special for 2/$5), for the final transaction on the card...
So now I'm standing here waiting for him to sign for all four purchases (each recipt is a must sign) thinking "I hope he gets a paper cut"...
No such luck...
My last hope is that he gets charged an exhorbant amount when he exceeds a certain number of transactions...
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Full Service
I love doing full serve... Nothing makes me happier than charging someone 118.9 cents a litre to put premium gas into a vehicle that would more than likely survive on regular; simply for the fact that 1) the oerson is too dumb to pump the gas themselves and 2) they dont know that high octane fuel is not necessary for the health of most cars...
But thats not my complaint about full serve today...
Oh golly no... You should know my blogs better than that...
I go outside to do a full serve... I wash the windows, check oil, and put on the biggest and brightest Tiny Tim smile at the meager tip I get (as if it's going to make this years Christmas the best Christmas Ever! God Bless Us, Everyone!!!), complete the transaction, etc etc etc...
I stayed behind for a few seconds, because I noticed the full serve garbage can was approaching the overflow capacity... And its really lame trying to get those garbage bags from the waste receptical to the dumpster if they're full...
I then go inside to continue my duties as the best Petro Can GSA in Canada (plaque pending)...
A few seconds after entering through the main door, I am informed that there is another car pulling into full serve...
I say pulling in, because it makes the next part of the story that much more obscene (please note my fellow GSA saw the car pull in, I did not)...
I get outside, the windows down and the automatic gas door is open already... and as no attempt on the part of the occupants to remove their persons from the vehicle, so I assume this is a legitimate full serve... (we get a lot of illigitimate full serves... people that pull up, and are out of their cars as we walk up... I try to stand just slightly off to the side of the giant sign that says "FULL SERVE" in these situations, as it makes them feel that much more stupid for having missed it in the first place... Combined with the fact that it allows them to come to the realization themselves, that they did something stupid, and that way I dont have to discipline them... But i should really get back to my story)
I walk around to the drivers door, trying to be as polite as possible; making eye contact, smiling slightly, standing just away from the vehicle so as not to appear to threatening (as a male with piercings, I find that people geta little scared by me)...
What happens next caught me really off guard...
She starts yelling at me for taking so long and shes been waiting for ten minutes and she has to get home because her baby needs to have his diaper changed and she has to get the roast in the oven because it needs to be cooked for when her husband gets home and she thought she would take full serve because its quicker and more convenient except today because I took my sweet assed time getting outside and now her entire day is ruined and shell call my manager and tell her all of this and Im going ot be so sorry that I took so long because shes going ot make such a big deal out of this and did she mention that shes pregnant again and its really hard for her to stand up and she didnt want to have to pay the extra four cents a litre but she was sure that it would be quick but it wasnt and shell never take full serve at this petro can location again and I should reimburse her for the extra four cents because the amount of time I took was uncalled for and....
I'm sure you get the idea...
Keep in mind that:
1) I was supposed to reimburse her for gasoline I didnt put in her car
2)My co worker saw her pulling in...
3) I could have filled her tank in the time it took her to rant on and on like that...
Fini
But thats not my complaint about full serve today...
Oh golly no... You should know my blogs better than that...
I go outside to do a full serve... I wash the windows, check oil, and put on the biggest and brightest Tiny Tim smile at the meager tip I get (as if it's going to make this years Christmas the best Christmas Ever! God Bless Us, Everyone!!!), complete the transaction, etc etc etc...
I stayed behind for a few seconds, because I noticed the full serve garbage can was approaching the overflow capacity... And its really lame trying to get those garbage bags from the waste receptical to the dumpster if they're full...
I then go inside to continue my duties as the best Petro Can GSA in Canada (plaque pending)...
A few seconds after entering through the main door, I am informed that there is another car pulling into full serve...
I say pulling in, because it makes the next part of the story that much more obscene (please note my fellow GSA saw the car pull in, I did not)...
I get outside, the windows down and the automatic gas door is open already... and as no attempt on the part of the occupants to remove their persons from the vehicle, so I assume this is a legitimate full serve... (we get a lot of illigitimate full serves... people that pull up, and are out of their cars as we walk up... I try to stand just slightly off to the side of the giant sign that says "FULL SERVE" in these situations, as it makes them feel that much more stupid for having missed it in the first place... Combined with the fact that it allows them to come to the realization themselves, that they did something stupid, and that way I dont have to discipline them... But i should really get back to my story)
I walk around to the drivers door, trying to be as polite as possible; making eye contact, smiling slightly, standing just away from the vehicle so as not to appear to threatening (as a male with piercings, I find that people geta little scared by me)...
What happens next caught me really off guard...
She starts yelling at me for taking so long and shes been waiting for ten minutes and she has to get home because her baby needs to have his diaper changed and she has to get the roast in the oven because it needs to be cooked for when her husband gets home and she thought she would take full serve because its quicker and more convenient except today because I took my sweet assed time getting outside and now her entire day is ruined and shell call my manager and tell her all of this and Im going ot be so sorry that I took so long because shes going ot make such a big deal out of this and did she mention that shes pregnant again and its really hard for her to stand up and she didnt want to have to pay the extra four cents a litre but she was sure that it would be quick but it wasnt and shell never take full serve at this petro can location again and I should reimburse her for the extra four cents because the amount of time I took was uncalled for and....
I'm sure you get the idea...
Keep in mind that:
1) I was supposed to reimburse her for gasoline I didnt put in her car
2)My co worker saw her pulling in...
3) I could have filled her tank in the time it took her to rant on and on like that...
Fini
Monday, May 30, 2005
Gross Stupidity, and Just Plain Gross
Another weekend work binge (joy!) and another swath of stories... but Ive been awake for the better part of 30 hours, so I may be a little more brief than I would like to be...
After dealing with drunk people for a few hours, I had, more or less, been pushed to the brink of what I could handle in regards to stupidity... Drunk people are stupid, go figure, eh?
Well... thats not the problem... the problem stems from otherwise sober people (or mostly sober... I'm not here to jusdge)...
You see there are many things I would suggest doing when you start pumping gas... Scan the site looking for drunk hotties; there are usually quite a few of them on friday and saturday nights... Or you could watch the screen by the fuel pumped screen which displays advertisements of products to buy inside the store... Or you could phase out while contemplating the meaning of life and the interrelation of mind body and spirit...
One thing I would NOT recommend doing when you start pumping your gas is... wait for it, wait for it.... light a cigarette...
Needless to say I had a few choice words come out over the intercom... I wont repeat the expletives here, for I'm sure you can all imagine the words I had to say... But rest assured I ended, in a very angry tone, with the word PLEASE!
Something along the lines of "your going to kill us all, put out the cigarette, please"
(For those of you that are wondering, the places I may have sworn are indicated with the spaces)
Now... This is all fine and dandy (the guy actually gave me the finger before he put out his cigarette) but, I kid you not, less than an hour later, a person tries to pull the same shit...
I could have died...
It would have been the biggest explosion in canadian history since the 1917 halifax thingy where a bunch of people were hurt and/or killed...
I could have died twice!
Which leads me to the next topic of choice... People who buy things they shouldn't...
Well, it's not that they shouldn't, because who am I to judge a person... But none the less, I could have a lived a much more happy and meaningful life having avoided these experiences...
These stories have the potential to be a little bit riske, so if your sensitive, replace any objectionable words with puppy...
Here goes...
A man, with a long flowing unwashed white beard and all but 30 hairs gone from the top of his wrinkled comes to the counter and says in a raspy I've-been-smoking-for50-years-voice (overt your eyes):
"I need condoms, lots of condoms"
This guy would have been sensored from Kink...
*shiver*
He also bought pepperoni and smokes...
Later in the evening (thankfully God allowed me a little recovery time, unlike with the smoking) a man, with the whole Im-a-perv look comes in and buys some condoms...
Overall creepy people buy condoms quite a bit, perhaps there is a subculture I am unaware of, where women like the skinny pale skinned 40 y/o mamas boy look, but again, who am I to jusdge...
I digress...
This same man is back about 10 minutes later and asks if he can use the washroom...
On his way out, he politely comments on the fact that there is no more tp left in the washroom...
Since I was still couting on another major bar rush, I figured I would stock up on tp rather than having thirty bimbos complaining about how they had to use paper towel to wipe...
I lock down my fort, double check that there isnt someone walking to the door at that very moment and then make a break to the stock room and then to the washroom...
Thats when I find the surprise (brace yourselves people)
A spent condom is stuck to the inside rim of the toilet (and the last person to use the washroom before him was me... and trust me, I didnt put it there)...
I dont think you can understand how much, at that very moment, I was thinking "I am not getting paid enough"...
I tried flushing the toilet a couldnt of times, completely disregarding the fact that it says on condom wrappers that latex condoms are not to be flushed... I certainly wasnt about to pick it up and put it in the garbage...
I eventually resorted to coaxing it into the bowl with the toilet plunger, burying it with tp so as to provide ample weight the gurantee the disgusting lump of plastic and man-seed was whisked from my life...
Now if only I could find a large roll of metaphysical toilet paper and a large metaphysical toilet so I could get this memory out of my head...
After dealing with drunk people for a few hours, I had, more or less, been pushed to the brink of what I could handle in regards to stupidity... Drunk people are stupid, go figure, eh?
Well... thats not the problem... the problem stems from otherwise sober people (or mostly sober... I'm not here to jusdge)...
You see there are many things I would suggest doing when you start pumping gas... Scan the site looking for drunk hotties; there are usually quite a few of them on friday and saturday nights... Or you could watch the screen by the fuel pumped screen which displays advertisements of products to buy inside the store... Or you could phase out while contemplating the meaning of life and the interrelation of mind body and spirit...
One thing I would NOT recommend doing when you start pumping your gas is... wait for it, wait for it.... light a cigarette...
Needless to say I had a few choice words come out over the intercom... I wont repeat the expletives here, for I'm sure you can all imagine the words I had to say... But rest assured I ended, in a very angry tone, with the word PLEASE!
Something along the lines of "your going to kill us all, put out the cigarette, please"
(For those of you that are wondering, the places I may have sworn are indicated with the spaces)
Now... This is all fine and dandy (the guy actually gave me the finger before he put out his cigarette) but, I kid you not, less than an hour later, a person tries to pull the same shit...
I could have died...
It would have been the biggest explosion in canadian history since the 1917 halifax thingy where a bunch of people were hurt and/or killed...
I could have died twice!
Which leads me to the next topic of choice... People who buy things they shouldn't...
Well, it's not that they shouldn't, because who am I to judge a person... But none the less, I could have a lived a much more happy and meaningful life having avoided these experiences...
These stories have the potential to be a little bit riske, so if your sensitive, replace any objectionable words with puppy...
Here goes...
A man, with a long flowing unwashed white beard and all but 30 hairs gone from the top of his wrinkled comes to the counter and says in a raspy I've-been-smoking-for50-years-voice (overt your eyes):
"I need condoms, lots of condoms"
This guy would have been sensored from Kink...
*shiver*
He also bought pepperoni and smokes...
Later in the evening (thankfully God allowed me a little recovery time, unlike with the smoking) a man, with the whole Im-a-perv look comes in and buys some condoms...
Overall creepy people buy condoms quite a bit, perhaps there is a subculture I am unaware of, where women like the skinny pale skinned 40 y/o mamas boy look, but again, who am I to jusdge...
I digress...
This same man is back about 10 minutes later and asks if he can use the washroom...
On his way out, he politely comments on the fact that there is no more tp left in the washroom...
Since I was still couting on another major bar rush, I figured I would stock up on tp rather than having thirty bimbos complaining about how they had to use paper towel to wipe...
I lock down my fort, double check that there isnt someone walking to the door at that very moment and then make a break to the stock room and then to the washroom...
Thats when I find the surprise (brace yourselves people)
A spent condom is stuck to the inside rim of the toilet (and the last person to use the washroom before him was me... and trust me, I didnt put it there)...
I dont think you can understand how much, at that very moment, I was thinking "I am not getting paid enough"...
I tried flushing the toilet a couldnt of times, completely disregarding the fact that it says on condom wrappers that latex condoms are not to be flushed... I certainly wasnt about to pick it up and put it in the garbage...
I eventually resorted to coaxing it into the bowl with the toilet plunger, burying it with tp so as to provide ample weight the gurantee the disgusting lump of plastic and man-seed was whisked from my life...
Now if only I could find a large roll of metaphysical toilet paper and a large metaphysical toilet so I could get this memory out of my head...
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Punk Assed Teenagers
What is the deal with punk ass teenagers... I dont mean to go on a rant here... so I wont, but what gives them the right to make my life so difficult...
And as a side note: if you are ever caught shoplifting, and the person running the store says "fess up now and I'll let you off with a warning", he's not kidding, and he will call the cops, so fess up already...
Some people have to learn the hard way it seems (how did she think she was going to get out of the store with two bags of doritos stuffed in her purse?)
Well, we all think philosophy is just fun and games. Semiotics, deconstruction, Lacanian post-Freudian psychoanalysis, it all seems like good, clean fun. But when the heart gets involved, all our painfully acquired metaphysical insights go right out the window, and we're reduced to battling it out like rutting chimpanzees. It's not pretty. If you're in a relationship, and differences over the fundamental principles of your respective subjectivities are making things difficult, maybe it's time to move on. Find someone new, someone who will accept you and the way your laughably limited human intelligence chooses to codify and rationalize the chaos of existence. After all, in the absence of a clear, unquestionable revelation from God, that's all we're all doing anyway. So remember: take care of yourselves - and each other.
Announcer: Be sure to tune in next time, when KKK strippers battle it out with transvestite omnisexual porn stars! Tomorrow on Springer!
And as a side note: if you are ever caught shoplifting, and the person running the store says "fess up now and I'll let you off with a warning", he's not kidding, and he will call the cops, so fess up already...
Some people have to learn the hard way it seems (how did she think she was going to get out of the store with two bags of doritos stuffed in her purse?)
Well, we all think philosophy is just fun and games. Semiotics, deconstruction, Lacanian post-Freudian psychoanalysis, it all seems like good, clean fun. But when the heart gets involved, all our painfully acquired metaphysical insights go right out the window, and we're reduced to battling it out like rutting chimpanzees. It's not pretty. If you're in a relationship, and differences over the fundamental principles of your respective subjectivities are making things difficult, maybe it's time to move on. Find someone new, someone who will accept you and the way your laughably limited human intelligence chooses to codify and rationalize the chaos of existence. After all, in the absence of a clear, unquestionable revelation from God, that's all we're all doing anyway. So remember: take care of yourselves - and each other.
Announcer: Be sure to tune in next time, when KKK strippers battle it out with transvestite omnisexual porn stars! Tomorrow on Springer!
Friday, May 27, 2005
ESL
As I'm sure you know (as most of you should be frequents by now) we have prepay at night at our gas station. You pay, then pump.
This evening, I announced over the intercom that prepaying inside was necessary...
But there was a big van blocking the large window by the till, so I could not see who was comming from where...
An elderly Japanese lady came into the store, and politely says "$20"... with dollar pronounced "dough-lah" in cute little old asian lady voice.
I ask "pump 5? or pump 7?"
she nods and says "yes, yes"
I turn directly to pointing
"pump 5?" in the direction of pump five
"or pump 7?" in the direction of pump 7...
She nods and puts a $20 bill on the table...
I go for it, and put $20 onto pump 7 and tell her to pump away...
She smiles and leaves... nothing is amiss as I clear pump 7 to start pumping (please keep in mind that the van is still in the way)
the gas finishes pumping, and an elderly man walks in to inform me that he wanted to put more gas in, and that pump 7 had stopped at $20 and he was unable to get it to start again... and that the elderly lady at pump 5 was obviously having trouble getting her pump started as well...
Ahahahaha... so now I'm left with $20 of gas that is paid for and pumped by seperate people, and a person who wants more than $20 of gas, but has to pay for a transaction that, for all intents and purposes, has already been completed...
All while I have 20 people in the store, lines up with slurpees and doritos (on special for $1.78 including tax)
Joy!!!
My second story is a bit shorter...
An asian man comes in, asks to prepay for $30 gas, and pays on his credit card...
This is al fine and dandy until he goes back out to his car...
You see, rather than pumping his gas, like he should have, he realized his gas tank was on the opposing side, so he moved around to another pump...
this is very bad because:
1) pre-paying is pump specific and we are not able to switch funds from one pump to the other easily
2) transferring funds from one pump to another involves cancelling one transaction and initiating another transaction
3) Cancelling a credit card transaction requires a customer signature and deposits funds directly back onto the credit card
4) Initiating a new transaction requires the new transaction to be paid for, most likely by the same credit card used to cancel the former transaction...
Do we see the bind I was in...
And there were huge numbers of people in the store...
Oh well... who can you do... I mean what...
This evening, I announced over the intercom that prepaying inside was necessary...
But there was a big van blocking the large window by the till, so I could not see who was comming from where...
An elderly Japanese lady came into the store, and politely says "$20"... with dollar pronounced "dough-lah" in cute little old asian lady voice.
I ask "pump 5? or pump 7?"
she nods and says "yes, yes"
I turn directly to pointing
"pump 5?" in the direction of pump five
"or pump 7?" in the direction of pump 7...
She nods and puts a $20 bill on the table...
I go for it, and put $20 onto pump 7 and tell her to pump away...
She smiles and leaves... nothing is amiss as I clear pump 7 to start pumping (please keep in mind that the van is still in the way)
the gas finishes pumping, and an elderly man walks in to inform me that he wanted to put more gas in, and that pump 7 had stopped at $20 and he was unable to get it to start again... and that the elderly lady at pump 5 was obviously having trouble getting her pump started as well...
Ahahahaha... so now I'm left with $20 of gas that is paid for and pumped by seperate people, and a person who wants more than $20 of gas, but has to pay for a transaction that, for all intents and purposes, has already been completed...
All while I have 20 people in the store, lines up with slurpees and doritos (on special for $1.78 including tax)
Joy!!!
My second story is a bit shorter...
An asian man comes in, asks to prepay for $30 gas, and pays on his credit card...
This is al fine and dandy until he goes back out to his car...
You see, rather than pumping his gas, like he should have, he realized his gas tank was on the opposing side, so he moved around to another pump...
this is very bad because:
1) pre-paying is pump specific and we are not able to switch funds from one pump to the other easily
2) transferring funds from one pump to another involves cancelling one transaction and initiating another transaction
3) Cancelling a credit card transaction requires a customer signature and deposits funds directly back onto the credit card
4) Initiating a new transaction requires the new transaction to be paid for, most likely by the same credit card used to cancel the former transaction...
Do we see the bind I was in...
And there were huge numbers of people in the store...
Oh well... who can you do... I mean what...
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Hands Down, Worst Work Day Ever
So, the title is subjective... Im sure others have had worse experiences... But this takes the cake for me...
Normally I dont work mornings... Ever... And anyone who knows my sleeping habits knows why mornings dont work for me... Actually, their lucky I show up for afternoon shifts either...
But needless to say, when I arrived at work today, I wasnt bright eyed and bushy tailed...
oh no... not even close...
In fact, I probibly resembled something more akin to a rabid badger than a squirrel...
I love mornings oh so much...
I drank some coffee before I ran into my boss, in the hopes that i could convince her that at that moment in time I hated her with a most unquenchable firey hate... well... at least be convincing enough that I could get more hours... Cuz really, I'll do it all over again for the paycheck...
Back to the story... I forced myself to be perky, so as not to piss off any of the customers (morning customers are much nicer than afternoon/evening customers... so I try to be nicer to them as well), and I stuggled to keep on to the false sense of "I <3 JOB" for as long as I could...
I was victorious... my bos left to her meeting having never known my true feelings...
I was home free... or so I thought...
I was just settling into the routine of dusting and serving when my co-worker informed me that she had been asked to do drive arounds (check out competitors prices and communicate back to head office with them) and to do the banking (we buy tons of rolls of change each week in order to have suficient pennies)...
I was then left by myself for the next hour...
Now your probibly thinking... "Oh poor boy had to manage the till all by himself for an hour"... We are a very busy store in a very dense neighbourhood.. and we despense slurpees (the goo of satan)... It was a very rough hour indeed...
She brought me back luch (bless her heart) and gave me twenty minutes to scarf it down before we put the full serve open sign back out...
But of course, rush of customers, and an hour later im eating cold chalupas and watery pop =/
My boss had told me to buy extra pizza subs when the sub guy comes... I haven't worked the shift in about 9 months, so I havent seen the sub guy in as long... And that would be assuming it was the same sub guy (which it, of course, wasnt)... So the McSweeny guy comes into the store with paper and pens and says "I'm here for the delivery"...
I go into drug deal mode "you got the subs"
"none said anything about subs"
"The boss wants extra pizza subs, you got what I need?"
"yeah, i got pizza subs, you sure your looking?"
"if you got what i need, I'm buying"
Needless to say, the conversation didnt progress quite like that, but I ended up buying and extra 20 pizza subs (my boss didnt say how many more she wanted... in fact, she didnt specify how many she would normally get)...
I do my payout for the McSweeny Subs, he drops them o ff in the display case, and I continue about my businaess... Not five minutes after Mr McSweeny leaves, a guy shows up carring an armful of subs and sandwhiches... And makes mention that he brought extra pizza subs but wasnt sure how many extra to bring because my boss didnt specify how many she wanted...
Crap
So now I have 20 pieces of evidence to hide, because I bought 20 pizza subs outside of contract... not to mention that the extra subs I bought aren't the subs that are included in the sub combo, which is the reason we ended up needing more subs in the first place
crap crap crap
Did I mention that we are in a very dense neighbourhood... and also that there are three elementary schools and two high schools within walking distance of my store...
and that we are one of two stores in the area... and we are the closest...
Needless to say, when the schools ended for the day, it was standing room only and I am yelling at kids to "take off [their] godamned roller blades or their going to slip on slurpee goo and break [their] goddamned heads"...
I didnt say goddamned, but I can assure you it was implied with the sound of my voice...
The comes time for second slurpee... I kid you not, the children in my town are like hobbitzes... They need to have first slurpee luch and second slurpee lunch and third slurpee dinner...
And this time they bring their little sibling and parents with stollers, which, despite the lack of baby, must be pushed around the store and through the throngs of customers, almost expecting the aisles to part like the red sea (or reed sea if you listen to Dr Muir and Dr Nelson)...
Thats when the phone calls start...
The first one is nice enough "I had asked your boss to have my car towed because it had stalled, but she had faxed the owner information to the wrong place, and I'm not able to do something because the place where my car is doesnt have that information... can you get your boss to fax it to the right place"
I informed him that my boss was at a meeting and wouldnt be in again today, and he asked if I could do it... I said I would call my boss, see what was up and cal him back... he said "ok but just in case, im going to come out to get a copy for myself"...
I phone my boss, but she was with corporate type people. and told me she would phone back...
I go back to serving the throngs of people..
Another phone call...
"Did you sort everything out with your boss?"
"nope"
"well just get the papers, I'll take them myself"
"I need to get my boss to tell me what papers and where they are"
"okay I'll call back"
I go back to serving customers... when it dies down a bit I call my boss again... no answer...
another phone call
"I'm outside, you got the papers"
"no I havent gotten the papers, Im still waiting on my manager"
"why do you need a manager, just print it off yourself"
"I dont have access to the printer"
"theres a computer right in front of you"
"I dont even know what I would be printing off, and the computer is in the office"
"What kind of retards are they hiring these days, its not my fault your too stupid to do this just pretend that your not stupid and print it off Im in a hurry and I dont have time to wait for a fucking idiot god..."
click... i hung up and started serving the throngs of customers...
another phone call... I let my coworker answer it...
he goes on a rant, she informs him that we're really busy and that if he wants he can come wait in the store, and we'll help him in person as soon as we can...
He says something alaong the lines of her being a lying bitch (it starts with c and rhymes with unt) and that he can see the store and its not busy at all... She informs him it is, and he goes on a long rant in which she holds the phone away from her ear... god only knows what he said...
She hangs up...
It rings again and she answers "cloverdale petro can"
he hangs up...
About ten minutes later, we get a phone call... from his wife, saying that we should conduct our business better and announce what the company is when we answer the phone and that its our fault that this situation occurred and that she is not impressed and blah blah blah blah blah...
That was my day!
Normally I dont work mornings... Ever... And anyone who knows my sleeping habits knows why mornings dont work for me... Actually, their lucky I show up for afternoon shifts either...
But needless to say, when I arrived at work today, I wasnt bright eyed and bushy tailed...
oh no... not even close...
In fact, I probibly resembled something more akin to a rabid badger than a squirrel...
I love mornings oh so much...
I drank some coffee before I ran into my boss, in the hopes that i could convince her that at that moment in time I hated her with a most unquenchable firey hate... well... at least be convincing enough that I could get more hours... Cuz really, I'll do it all over again for the paycheck...
Back to the story... I forced myself to be perky, so as not to piss off any of the customers (morning customers are much nicer than afternoon/evening customers... so I try to be nicer to them as well), and I stuggled to keep on to the false sense of "I <3 JOB" for as long as I could...
I was victorious... my bos left to her meeting having never known my true feelings...
I was home free... or so I thought...
I was just settling into the routine of dusting and serving when my co-worker informed me that she had been asked to do drive arounds (check out competitors prices and communicate back to head office with them) and to do the banking (we buy tons of rolls of change each week in order to have suficient pennies)...
I was then left by myself for the next hour...
Now your probibly thinking... "Oh poor boy had to manage the till all by himself for an hour"... We are a very busy store in a very dense neighbourhood.. and we despense slurpees (the goo of satan)... It was a very rough hour indeed...
She brought me back luch (bless her heart) and gave me twenty minutes to scarf it down before we put the full serve open sign back out...
But of course, rush of customers, and an hour later im eating cold chalupas and watery pop =/
My boss had told me to buy extra pizza subs when the sub guy comes... I haven't worked the shift in about 9 months, so I havent seen the sub guy in as long... And that would be assuming it was the same sub guy (which it, of course, wasnt)... So the McSweeny guy comes into the store with paper and pens and says "I'm here for the delivery"...
I go into drug deal mode "you got the subs"
"none said anything about subs"
"The boss wants extra pizza subs, you got what I need?"
"yeah, i got pizza subs, you sure your looking?"
"if you got what i need, I'm buying"
Needless to say, the conversation didnt progress quite like that, but I ended up buying and extra 20 pizza subs (my boss didnt say how many more she wanted... in fact, she didnt specify how many she would normally get)...
I do my payout for the McSweeny Subs, he drops them o ff in the display case, and I continue about my businaess... Not five minutes after Mr McSweeny leaves, a guy shows up carring an armful of subs and sandwhiches... And makes mention that he brought extra pizza subs but wasnt sure how many extra to bring because my boss didnt specify how many she wanted...
Crap
So now I have 20 pieces of evidence to hide, because I bought 20 pizza subs outside of contract... not to mention that the extra subs I bought aren't the subs that are included in the sub combo, which is the reason we ended up needing more subs in the first place
crap crap crap
Did I mention that we are in a very dense neighbourhood... and also that there are three elementary schools and two high schools within walking distance of my store...
and that we are one of two stores in the area... and we are the closest...
Needless to say, when the schools ended for the day, it was standing room only and I am yelling at kids to "take off [their] godamned roller blades or their going to slip on slurpee goo and break [their] goddamned heads"...
I didnt say goddamned, but I can assure you it was implied with the sound of my voice...
The comes time for second slurpee... I kid you not, the children in my town are like hobbitzes... They need to have first slurpee luch and second slurpee lunch and third slurpee dinner...
And this time they bring their little sibling and parents with stollers, which, despite the lack of baby, must be pushed around the store and through the throngs of customers, almost expecting the aisles to part like the red sea (or reed sea if you listen to Dr Muir and Dr Nelson)...
Thats when the phone calls start...
The first one is nice enough "I had asked your boss to have my car towed because it had stalled, but she had faxed the owner information to the wrong place, and I'm not able to do something because the place where my car is doesnt have that information... can you get your boss to fax it to the right place"
I informed him that my boss was at a meeting and wouldnt be in again today, and he asked if I could do it... I said I would call my boss, see what was up and cal him back... he said "ok but just in case, im going to come out to get a copy for myself"...
I phone my boss, but she was with corporate type people. and told me she would phone back...
I go back to serving the throngs of people..
Another phone call...
"Did you sort everything out with your boss?"
"nope"
"well just get the papers, I'll take them myself"
"I need to get my boss to tell me what papers and where they are"
"okay I'll call back"
I go back to serving customers... when it dies down a bit I call my boss again... no answer...
another phone call
"I'm outside, you got the papers"
"no I havent gotten the papers, Im still waiting on my manager"
"why do you need a manager, just print it off yourself"
"I dont have access to the printer"
"theres a computer right in front of you"
"I dont even know what I would be printing off, and the computer is in the office"
"What kind of retards are they hiring these days, its not my fault your too stupid to do this just pretend that your not stupid and print it off Im in a hurry and I dont have time to wait for a fucking idiot god..."
click... i hung up and started serving the throngs of customers...
another phone call... I let my coworker answer it...
he goes on a rant, she informs him that we're really busy and that if he wants he can come wait in the store, and we'll help him in person as soon as we can...
He says something alaong the lines of her being a lying bitch (it starts with c and rhymes with unt) and that he can see the store and its not busy at all... She informs him it is, and he goes on a long rant in which she holds the phone away from her ear... god only knows what he said...
She hangs up...
It rings again and she answers "cloverdale petro can"
he hangs up...
About ten minutes later, we get a phone call... from his wife, saying that we should conduct our business better and announce what the company is when we answer the phone and that its our fault that this situation occurred and that she is not impressed and blah blah blah blah blah...
That was my day!
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Phone Cards
Quick addition today (sorry)
Guy walks into the store, and with the thickest punjab accent I have ever heard says:
"twenty twenty five two" (imagine this with an east indian accent, or with Quick's generic newfie east indian accent)
Needless to say, I looked at this guy with an absolute blank stare... I honestly dont think I've been more confused in my entire life...
Naturally, he figures if he says it louder, it will make more sense...
"Twenty twenty five two!!" (use the exclaimations as indication for how loud it was)
no response from me
"Twenty twenty five two!!!!!"
I cocked my head sideways slightly
"TWENTY TWENTY FIVE TWO!!!!!!!"
I figured that by now he would understand that I wasn't going to understad him... but he didn't... So I asked him to point... He points to the phone card machine and says "phone card!!!"
I clue in, slightly...
"So you would like a $5 phone card from 20/20" (and long distance phone card distributing company)
"TWO!!! TWO!!!"
so yes... he wanted two $5 20/20 cards... which I gave to him...
and then i went outside to have my first (erm... second) cigarette in the last two weeks...
Guy walks into the store, and with the thickest punjab accent I have ever heard says:
"twenty twenty five two" (imagine this with an east indian accent, or with Quick's generic newfie east indian accent)
Needless to say, I looked at this guy with an absolute blank stare... I honestly dont think I've been more confused in my entire life...
Naturally, he figures if he says it louder, it will make more sense...
"Twenty twenty five two!!" (use the exclaimations as indication for how loud it was)
no response from me
"Twenty twenty five two!!!!!"
I cocked my head sideways slightly
"TWENTY TWENTY FIVE TWO!!!!!!!"
I figured that by now he would understand that I wasn't going to understad him... but he didn't... So I asked him to point... He points to the phone card machine and says "phone card!!!"
I clue in, slightly...
"So you would like a $5 phone card from 20/20" (and long distance phone card distributing company)
"TWO!!! TWO!!!"
so yes... he wanted two $5 20/20 cards... which I gave to him...
and then i went outside to have my first (erm... second) cigarette in the last two weeks...
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Indoctrination
Well, i'm back in Surrey... even better, Im back working at Petro Can... I know some of you are salavating right now, waiting for me to start into my vast array of petro can stories, but sadly, nothing has happened as of yet... Yesterday was a really slow day... And I'm pretty sure, even if we did have any really stupid customers, I probibly wouldnt have remembered them (Starting work at 6am is not something that goes over very well with my body apparently)
I will, of course, try to humour you with a few anecdotes...
For those of you that don't know, BC just had an election... And although I would consider myself a left of centre person, i did end up voting for the bc liberal party (don't let the name fool you, the Liberal party of bc is further right than the NDP party... and actually acts a lot more like the conservative party of cananda rather than the liberal party of canada... especially in regards to speding and taxes...)
I digress...
It seems that a lot of people have forgotten the damage the NDP did the decade they were in power. They turned our economy from the historical stongest (I kid you not, BC had the strongest economy of Canada for most of the time since BC joined confederation) to one that was only moderately better than Newfoundlands. They drove countless headquaters to Calgary, and they caused BC to be in a majour recession whilst the Rest of Canada was seeing growth that hadn't been seen since the post war period of the 50's and 60's...
The liberal came into power 4 years ago, and turned a record breaking deficit into a near record breaking surplus. More jobs, more money, more developement blah blah blah... But due to the economc constraints of trying to get rid of a deficit, heathcare and education spending hasn't increased as much as many would believe it should... So the NDP ended up winning a lot more seats than they did during the last election...
but (thank god) the liberals still have the majourity, and, as this is majour news adn we tend to sell out of papers on majour news days, I was left explaining the election results to a lot of people...
Ah ha ha ha!!!
I love giving the results to people who find out the person they voted for didnt get into power... better yet, I love bragging that the person I voted for did get into power when they go on a rant about how sucky the opposition is...
Anyways...
I had an old lady tell me it was a shame I dye my hair... She gave me a disappointed look and then left the store...
I think thats all I have to add today...
I start graveyard tonight... so maybe we'll have some stories for y'all tomorrow...
Adios
I will, of course, try to humour you with a few anecdotes...
For those of you that don't know, BC just had an election... And although I would consider myself a left of centre person, i did end up voting for the bc liberal party (don't let the name fool you, the Liberal party of bc is further right than the NDP party... and actually acts a lot more like the conservative party of cananda rather than the liberal party of canada... especially in regards to speding and taxes...)
I digress...
It seems that a lot of people have forgotten the damage the NDP did the decade they were in power. They turned our economy from the historical stongest (I kid you not, BC had the strongest economy of Canada for most of the time since BC joined confederation) to one that was only moderately better than Newfoundlands. They drove countless headquaters to Calgary, and they caused BC to be in a majour recession whilst the Rest of Canada was seeing growth that hadn't been seen since the post war period of the 50's and 60's...
The liberal came into power 4 years ago, and turned a record breaking deficit into a near record breaking surplus. More jobs, more money, more developement blah blah blah... But due to the economc constraints of trying to get rid of a deficit, heathcare and education spending hasn't increased as much as many would believe it should... So the NDP ended up winning a lot more seats than they did during the last election...
but (thank god) the liberals still have the majourity, and, as this is majour news adn we tend to sell out of papers on majour news days, I was left explaining the election results to a lot of people...
Ah ha ha ha!!!
I love giving the results to people who find out the person they voted for didnt get into power... better yet, I love bragging that the person I voted for did get into power when they go on a rant about how sucky the opposition is...
Anyways...
I had an old lady tell me it was a shame I dye my hair... She gave me a disappointed look and then left the store...
I think thats all I have to add today...
I start graveyard tonight... so maybe we'll have some stories for y'all tomorrow...
Adios
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Milk Continued
Well... I figured I would make one last post prior to my departure for choir tour... And I have just now come into posession of some pics of the milk off (none of the guys morning show, it would seem) but pics none the less!
http://img97.echo.cx/img97/8817/007400156gb.jpg
http://img247.echo.cx/img247/6865/007400165up.jpg
http://img218.echo.cx/img218/4862/007400185ll.jpg
http://img257.echo.cx/img257/5141/007400190hb.jpg
http://img259.echo.cx/img259/1405/007400205ui.jpg
http://img190.echo.cx/img190/6355/007400228op.jpg
http://img253.echo.cx/img253/2938/007400231bf.jpg
http://img242.echo.cx/img242/6852/007400249lo.jpg
(apologies for the pics not showing... I am not computer literate and its late... so let the copy paste fest begin)
http://img97.echo.cx/img97/8817/007400156gb.jpg
http://img247.echo.cx/img247/6865/007400165up.jpg
http://img218.echo.cx/img218/4862/007400185ll.jpg
http://img257.echo.cx/img257/5141/007400190hb.jpg
http://img259.echo.cx/img259/1405/007400205ui.jpg
http://img190.echo.cx/img190/6355/007400228op.jpg
http://img253.echo.cx/img253/2938/007400231bf.jpg
http://img242.echo.cx/img242/6852/007400249lo.jpg
(apologies for the pics not showing... I am not computer literate and its late... so let the copy paste fest begin)
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Propoganda Time
Well, with an impending federal election (has it been called yet? if not I can't imagine it will be very long) there has been a lot of talk in the forums I frequent about who will be voted for...
One in particular, skyscraperpage (great website btw), I was questioned why I would continue to vote liberal... I answered that, although my beliefs conform more with the green party platform, Harper scares me, and until he is out of the picture, I will vote for the party that i see as having the best chance for standing up against him (and if need be I will change my vote to NDP)...
When asked how Harper scares me, one of my fellow forumers came to my defense with a list of quotes... I think that they are great...
EVERYONE! I urge you... We all know how politics work, and although we vote for a party, we actually end up voting on a person... This is the person who will run our country! Please consider what he is saying, and weigh that against your knowledge of the platform the conservatives present.
I present to you, the list of quotes: (italicized items added by me)
"It's past time the feds scrapped the Canada Health Act."
(Must get rid of the safety blanket that protects all Canadians)
"What we clearly need is experimentation with market reforms and private delivery options [in health care]."
(Because its unfair to the rich that they get the same quality service as the rest of us, eh?)
"Continental economic and security integration" with the U.S. as well as a "continental energy strategy" that should be broadened "to a range of other natural resources."
(Rape, Rape, Rape; Pillage, Pillage, Pillage)
"Canada appears content to become a second-tier socialistic country, boasting ever more loudly about its economy and social services to mask its second-rate status, led by a second-world strongman appropriately suited for the task."
(The eighth largest economy, and one of the highest standards of living... Second tier socialism is working, wouldn't you say?)
"make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been...As a religion, bilingualism is the god that failed. It has led to no fairness, produced no unity, and cost Canadian taxpayers untold millions.”
(Don't have to worry about him getting the Quebec vote... phew)
“It is imperative to take the initiative, to build firewalls around Alberta"
(Sharing means caring... Alberta doesn't care?)
"Albertans in particular, need to think hard about their
future in this country. After sober reflection, Albertans should decide that it is time to seek a new relationship with Canada. …Having hit a wall, the next logical step is not to bang our heads against it. It is to take the bricks and begin building another home. It is time to look at Quebec and to learn."
(LMAO! Alberta certainly wasn't complaining when they were the ones getting the handouts when their economy went bust... guess what, one province is always going to be in first place, and they're not always going to be able to seperate)
“Whether Canada ends up as one national government or two national governments or several national governments, or some other kind of arrangement is, quite frankly, secondary in my opinion…"
("I don't care if this country falls apart..." WOW!!!)
"There is a dependence in the region (Atlantic Canada) that breeds a culture of defeatism,"
(No... it's decades of being told that their too stupid to care for themselves by HtT pronvinces that leads to Altlantic defeatism)
"You've got to remember that west of Winnipeg the ridings the Liberals hold are dominated by people who are recent Asian immigrants: people who live in ghettoes and who are not integrated into western Canadian society."
(!!!!!!I cannot believe he is allowed to make comments like this!!!!!!!!)
“I don't know all the facts on Iraq, but I think we should work closely with the Americans.”
(In his defense this is, apparently, before no WMD's were found...)
“We should have been there shoulder to shoulder with our allies. Our concern is the instability of our government as an ally."
(Invade first... if BushCo does it, it must be right)
"there is now no more important foreign policy interest for Canada
than maintaining the ability to exercise effective influence in Washington so as to advance unique Canadian policy objectives.”
(Canada was founded upon manipulation of it's allies... seems reasonable to continue
/sarcasm off)
"we support the war effort and believe we should be supporting our troops and our allies and be there with them doing everything necessary to win"
(War mongering, anyone... I for one support nothing more than the peace keeping Canada is known and loved for)
“We must aim to make [Canada] a lower tax jurisdiction than the United States.”
(Lower taxes does not make sense... Well, at least to me... Where do we suppose our taxes got to? To pay for roads, schools, health care, welfare... Would we rather user fees? Would you rather only have to pay every time you drove on a road, or should we have a fee for elementary school kids... kick 'em out if their parents don't fork out the cash... I refuse to aknowledge any person who complains about taxes, but has ever taken advantage of the things that taxes afford us... Human life over profit... I'm done now)
I really Hope you will all take this into consideration... To say that its important, to me, is an understatement... Farewell
One in particular, skyscraperpage (great website btw), I was questioned why I would continue to vote liberal... I answered that, although my beliefs conform more with the green party platform, Harper scares me, and until he is out of the picture, I will vote for the party that i see as having the best chance for standing up against him (and if need be I will change my vote to NDP)...
When asked how Harper scares me, one of my fellow forumers came to my defense with a list of quotes... I think that they are great...
EVERYONE! I urge you... We all know how politics work, and although we vote for a party, we actually end up voting on a person... This is the person who will run our country! Please consider what he is saying, and weigh that against your knowledge of the platform the conservatives present.
I present to you, the list of quotes: (italicized items added by me)
"It's past time the feds scrapped the Canada Health Act."
(Must get rid of the safety blanket that protects all Canadians)
"What we clearly need is experimentation with market reforms and private delivery options [in health care]."
(Because its unfair to the rich that they get the same quality service as the rest of us, eh?)
"Continental economic and security integration" with the U.S. as well as a "continental energy strategy" that should be broadened "to a range of other natural resources."
(Rape, Rape, Rape; Pillage, Pillage, Pillage)
"Canada appears content to become a second-tier socialistic country, boasting ever more loudly about its economy and social services to mask its second-rate status, led by a second-world strongman appropriately suited for the task."
(The eighth largest economy, and one of the highest standards of living... Second tier socialism is working, wouldn't you say?)
"make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been...As a religion, bilingualism is the god that failed. It has led to no fairness, produced no unity, and cost Canadian taxpayers untold millions.”
(Don't have to worry about him getting the Quebec vote... phew)
“It is imperative to take the initiative, to build firewalls around Alberta"
(Sharing means caring... Alberta doesn't care?)
"Albertans in particular, need to think hard about their
future in this country. After sober reflection, Albertans should decide that it is time to seek a new relationship with Canada. …Having hit a wall, the next logical step is not to bang our heads against it. It is to take the bricks and begin building another home. It is time to look at Quebec and to learn."
(LMAO! Alberta certainly wasn't complaining when they were the ones getting the handouts when their economy went bust... guess what, one province is always going to be in first place, and they're not always going to be able to seperate)
“Whether Canada ends up as one national government or two national governments or several national governments, or some other kind of arrangement is, quite frankly, secondary in my opinion…"
("I don't care if this country falls apart..." WOW!!!)
"There is a dependence in the region (Atlantic Canada) that breeds a culture of defeatism,"
(No... it's decades of being told that their too stupid to care for themselves by HtT pronvinces that leads to Altlantic defeatism)
"You've got to remember that west of Winnipeg the ridings the Liberals hold are dominated by people who are recent Asian immigrants: people who live in ghettoes and who are not integrated into western Canadian society."
(!!!!!!I cannot believe he is allowed to make comments like this!!!!!!!!)
“I don't know all the facts on Iraq, but I think we should work closely with the Americans.”
(In his defense this is, apparently, before no WMD's were found...)
“We should have been there shoulder to shoulder with our allies. Our concern is the instability of our government as an ally."
(Invade first... if BushCo does it, it must be right)
"there is now no more important foreign policy interest for Canada
than maintaining the ability to exercise effective influence in Washington so as to advance unique Canadian policy objectives.”
(Canada was founded upon manipulation of it's allies... seems reasonable to continue
/sarcasm off)
"we support the war effort and believe we should be supporting our troops and our allies and be there with them doing everything necessary to win"
(War mongering, anyone... I for one support nothing more than the peace keeping Canada is known and loved for)
“We must aim to make [Canada] a lower tax jurisdiction than the United States.”
(Lower taxes does not make sense... Well, at least to me... Where do we suppose our taxes got to? To pay for roads, schools, health care, welfare... Would we rather user fees? Would you rather only have to pay every time you drove on a road, or should we have a fee for elementary school kids... kick 'em out if their parents don't fork out the cash... I refuse to aknowledge any person who complains about taxes, but has ever taken advantage of the things that taxes afford us... Human life over profit... I'm done now)
I really Hope you will all take this into consideration... To say that its important, to me, is an understatement... Farewell
Terrible
okay, this is a warning (a serious one)... If you don't have a sense of humour, stop reading now... This joke was inches away from offending me, so I have little idea what effect it will have on the general population...
I am not kidding when I say stop reading... I don't want hate mail for this...
Okay, now that I've got your attention, this is the most I've laughed since the retarded kitten... I'll put the answer in a reply for our sensitive readers...
How do you kill a one legged fox?
I am not kidding when I say stop reading... I don't want hate mail for this...
Okay, now that I've got your attention, this is the most I've laughed since the retarded kitten... I'll put the answer in a reply for our sensitive readers...
How do you kill a one legged fox?
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Chemistry
I beginning to think that maybe I should be putting an effort into stuff...
but then again, I keep getting clues that I am at least meeting the status quo for a majourity of my life..
Examples, my entire chemistry class had to learn about Mannich Reactions, Reformatsky Reactions, and Pinacol Synthesis in the last short little while, as it says explicitly that these topics will be on our exam today...
I was not impressed...
I like gringnard reagents and dies-alder synthesis... easy things to remember, and to do...
but all this other stuff is crap... I dont even remember it being in the lecture, and I can't find it in the textbook (I resorted to searching www.organic-chemistry.org in order to find out what these words even mean)... not that thats a bad thing... I mean, anything is more comprehensive than our textbook... I think I learned more chemistry in my biology class (I jest... really I do)
Alas, I really just need to suck it up... 4 more hours (2 if the exam goes really bad) and I wont have to think a chemical thought for another 4 months...
Summer break is upon us! Woot woot woot!!!
See you all on the other side
but then again, I keep getting clues that I am at least meeting the status quo for a majourity of my life..
Examples, my entire chemistry class had to learn about Mannich Reactions, Reformatsky Reactions, and Pinacol Synthesis in the last short little while, as it says explicitly that these topics will be on our exam today...
I was not impressed...
I like gringnard reagents and dies-alder synthesis... easy things to remember, and to do...
but all this other stuff is crap... I dont even remember it being in the lecture, and I can't find it in the textbook (I resorted to searching www.organic-chemistry.org in order to find out what these words even mean)... not that thats a bad thing... I mean, anything is more comprehensive than our textbook... I think I learned more chemistry in my biology class (I jest... really I do)
Alas, I really just need to suck it up... 4 more hours (2 if the exam goes really bad) and I wont have to think a chemical thought for another 4 months...
Summer break is upon us! Woot woot woot!!!
See you all on the other side
Monday, April 18, 2005
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Year End
Well... as I'm sure you know, its the end of the school year...
I'm about ready to go home, for sure, but it's starting to get all sad.
My friends have started packing their things, and they'll be gone within the next two weeks...
Finals start tomorrow; Joy!!!
Oh, and choir tour is gonna be wicked fun! We have planned out a week of extremes. Hot Springs, Paint Ball, Lazer Tag, Coffee... mwahahahahaha
I got a call from my Petro Can boss a few days ago, wondering when i would be back... I'm not entirely sure yet, but I should be back in good time after our final concert...
I'll put a few more random posts like this before the year is up, and hopefully once I readjust to dial-up I'll start reposting all my cool petro can stories (which is why your all here anyways, right?)
I'm about ready to go home, for sure, but it's starting to get all sad.
My friends have started packing their things, and they'll be gone within the next two weeks...
Finals start tomorrow; Joy!!!
Oh, and choir tour is gonna be wicked fun! We have planned out a week of extremes. Hot Springs, Paint Ball, Lazer Tag, Coffee... mwahahahahaha
I got a call from my Petro Can boss a few days ago, wondering when i would be back... I'm not entirely sure yet, but I should be back in good time after our final concert...
I'll put a few more random posts like this before the year is up, and hopefully once I readjust to dial-up I'll start reposting all my cool petro can stories (which is why your all here anyways, right?)
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Retarded Kitten
I seriously laughed for a good ten minutes the first time i saw this... perhaps it makes me a bad person, but at least nothing cruel is happening to it...
![]()
http://www.couronne.net/images/june27/help.jpg">
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Meds
So I went to the doctor to get meds for my sleeping troubles...
After explaining my sleeping habits, and the duration for which the habits have occurred over, the doctor gladly signed me up for a prescription (and scolded me for no comming in sooner)...
I am now the happy recipient of a ten day supply of Sarnoc!
After explaining my sleeping habits, and the duration for which the habits have occurred over, the doctor gladly signed me up for a prescription (and scolded me for no comming in sooner)...
I am now the happy recipient of a ten day supply of Sarnoc!
Isn't it a happy little chemical...
Well, needless to say, it is a sleeping pill, that will "knock me out no matter how much coffee I drink"... (so says the pharmacist)
But, praise modern science and test groups, there is a happy little warning in the bottle... I kid you not...
"May cause drowsiness"
I think thats probibly the best line ever..
Oh well, night night time
Lucky Day
So I may or may not have gone to the bar tonight....
And I may or may not have had too much to drink...
But either way, I have a story to tell, and it happens to be that it makes me, probibly, thr happiest Ive been in months!
So I go to (or dont go to, which ever may have been the case) Esmereldas (or ezzies in lamens terms) in order to celebrate the birthday of a young woman whom I have never personally met... Her name is Kristen, and I bought her a shot of amaretto and kalua as a birthday shot, but I digress...
So the thirty dollars I started the night off with is slowly being withered away with drinks for myself as well as birthday shots, so I decide to take out money...
Now, I would say that i am a relatively good planner and, due to the $1.75 surcharge on withdrawls, decide to take out more money than I anticipate spending so as to allow me to have cash for the remainder for the week...
When it comes time for me to remove my money from the money receptacle, I reach my hand out and pull out a wad of money..
I count it to make sure that the amount I requested is the amount recieved and am quite surprised to find $120...
I double check my recipt, to ensure that i hadnt pressed the wrong button instead...
Sure enough, I had pressed the $80 buton...
So now Im $40 richer than I should be, and I attribute said fact to some drunk who obviously forgot to grab his cash when he left...
I quickly joined said drunk in the land of make-bellieve (caused by my anibriated state... paid for by his foolishness)...
Anyways... I figured this was blog worthy...
Hopefully this is all legible...
And I may or may not have had too much to drink...
But either way, I have a story to tell, and it happens to be that it makes me, probibly, thr happiest Ive been in months!
So I go to (or dont go to, which ever may have been the case) Esmereldas (or ezzies in lamens terms) in order to celebrate the birthday of a young woman whom I have never personally met... Her name is Kristen, and I bought her a shot of amaretto and kalua as a birthday shot, but I digress...
So the thirty dollars I started the night off with is slowly being withered away with drinks for myself as well as birthday shots, so I decide to take out money...
Now, I would say that i am a relatively good planner and, due to the $1.75 surcharge on withdrawls, decide to take out more money than I anticipate spending so as to allow me to have cash for the remainder for the week...
When it comes time for me to remove my money from the money receptacle, I reach my hand out and pull out a wad of money..
I count it to make sure that the amount I requested is the amount recieved and am quite surprised to find $120...
I double check my recipt, to ensure that i hadnt pressed the wrong button instead...
Sure enough, I had pressed the $80 buton...
So now Im $40 richer than I should be, and I attribute said fact to some drunk who obviously forgot to grab his cash when he left...
I quickly joined said drunk in the land of make-bellieve (caused by my anibriated state... paid for by his foolishness)...
Anyways... I figured this was blog worthy...
Hopefully this is all legible...
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Milk!
So, yesterday, I did something I never thought I would ever do...
I, with some of my friends, chose to endure the pain and uncomfort that results from chugging four (yes 4) litres of milk...
Now, I know youre thinking "what an idiot" but we took a lot of things into consideration...
1) the basic-ness of the milk would neutralize the stomache acid (so as to limit the damage to our body as the milk inevitably comes back up)
2) the location was a lawn, so as to allow us t puke freely without worry of having to scrape up the puke ice afterwards
3) the competition was held before breakfast, so as to limit the amount of chunk present in the yahk fluid
I must say, the event was a success. I may not have won, but in the hearts and minds of the 20 or so people who had congregated to watch us make fools of ourselves, we were all winners
I finished a good 5 minutes behind the winner, not something Im proud of, but I am certainly not going to feel dissappointed about 4 litres in 20 minutes...
One way I did win was in dynamic of the puking. i had a very large spray, good pressure and a wide coverage area. I, by far, puked the most... Something I am very grateful for, as I did not have to endure th hours f pain and pot competition cookie tosses.
Oh... Something I forgot t mention, not only did we drink milk, we were drinking homo milk... Thats right 3.25% fatty goodness -I couldnt find half/half in a four litre jug >=/
Oh well
Oh.... And I got the RA job again, found out yesterday (go me!)
I, with some of my friends, chose to endure the pain and uncomfort that results from chugging four (yes 4) litres of milk...
Now, I know youre thinking "what an idiot" but we took a lot of things into consideration...
1) the basic-ness of the milk would neutralize the stomache acid (so as to limit the damage to our body as the milk inevitably comes back up)
2) the location was a lawn, so as to allow us t puke freely without worry of having to scrape up the puke ice afterwards
3) the competition was held before breakfast, so as to limit the amount of chunk present in the yahk fluid
I must say, the event was a success. I may not have won, but in the hearts and minds of the 20 or so people who had congregated to watch us make fools of ourselves, we were all winners
I finished a good 5 minutes behind the winner, not something Im proud of, but I am certainly not going to feel dissappointed about 4 litres in 20 minutes...
One way I did win was in dynamic of the puking. i had a very large spray, good pressure and a wide coverage area. I, by far, puked the most... Something I am very grateful for, as I did not have to endure th hours f pain and pot competition cookie tosses.
Oh... Something I forgot t mention, not only did we drink milk, we were drinking homo milk... Thats right 3.25% fatty goodness -I couldnt find half/half in a four litre jug >=/
Oh well
Oh.... And I got the RA job again, found out yesterday (go me!)
Friday, March 25, 2005
#10
it appears that i am #10 in regards to slurpee machines on yahoo.com
http://ca.search.yahoo.com/search?vc=&p=slurpee+machines
If that works, you should be referred to a search page that shows that top results for "slurpee machines" of which, I am the 10th...
I suppose I should have some sort of party...
This is the closest I will ever be to famous
7-11 had better look out...
http://ca.search.yahoo.com/search?vc=&p=slurpee+machines
If that works, you should be referred to a search page that shows that top results for "slurpee machines" of which, I am the 10th...
I suppose I should have some sort of party...
This is the closest I will ever be to famous
7-11 had better look out...
Kiddie Takedown
No you kid touchers, I mean fight.
Rules, VERSION 1.5:
- The arena you are fighting in is the size of a tennis court. The walls are padded.
- You aren't allowed to touch the walls or use them as a weapon (Bashing their head against the wall, etc.)
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. If a kid is knocked unconscious, or is in a physical state that does not allow him to continue, they are "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy and aged 5-7.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
- The kids are motivated enough by their hand to hand conbat training to not be afraid of you, or any bloodshed they witness. So this way there is no option for them to chicken out and make it easier for you.
How many kids do you think you could take down?
I copied this from a forum i frquent... I thought it was genius...
So how many...
Considering my arm length, and my physical status, I thihnk I could get through about 20 or so before I succame to the wrath that ankle biters can forge...
How bout you?
Rules, VERSION 1.5:
- The arena you are fighting in is the size of a tennis court. The walls are padded.
- You aren't allowed to touch the walls or use them as a weapon (Bashing their head against the wall, etc.)
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. If a kid is knocked unconscious, or is in a physical state that does not allow him to continue, they are "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy and aged 5-7.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
- The kids are motivated enough by their hand to hand conbat training to not be afraid of you, or any bloodshed they witness. So this way there is no option for them to chicken out and make it easier for you.
How many kids do you think you could take down?
I copied this from a forum i frquent... I thought it was genius...
So how many...
Considering my arm length, and my physical status, I thihnk I could get through about 20 or so before I succame to the wrath that ankle biters can forge...
How bout you?
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Words of Wisdom
not my own, but here goes:
"No one likes to create a storm on calm waters but a semblence of moral fibre and feeling for your fellow man, one should not just stand by and allow or enable evil to run rampant among the good and the innocent.
It takes courage to come forward and speak the truth, especially when you know it will cause tears and heartache, but isn't it better to spill the spoiled food than to silently and knowingly withhold the truth while others continue to partake in the poison?
Under the heading of 'right action' comes courage to do what is right. I urge you to use yor discretion while doing what is right, and calmly brace against the inevitable cross winds stirred by the initial decision (and its effects) for the right action."
Amen, anyone?
"No one likes to create a storm on calm waters but a semblence of moral fibre and feeling for your fellow man, one should not just stand by and allow or enable evil to run rampant among the good and the innocent.
It takes courage to come forward and speak the truth, especially when you know it will cause tears and heartache, but isn't it better to spill the spoiled food than to silently and knowingly withhold the truth while others continue to partake in the poison?
Under the heading of 'right action' comes courage to do what is right. I urge you to use yor discretion while doing what is right, and calmly brace against the inevitable cross winds stirred by the initial decision (and its effects) for the right action."
Amen, anyone?
Friday, February 04, 2005
Regan!
My apologies for having not updated in so long...
I have been having computer problems for the last little while (Everytime I logged onto AOL dial-up over the Xmas break, I wanted to beat my head as hard as I could into the keyboard)
And for the last few weeks I have been without net in my room do to a fatal meltdown (woe is me!)
I shall return soon...
I have been having computer problems for the last little while (Everytime I logged onto AOL dial-up over the Xmas break, I wanted to beat my head as hard as I could into the keyboard)
And for the last few weeks I have been without net in my room do to a fatal meltdown (woe is me!)
I shall return soon...
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Back in B(la)C(k)
So I am back, in the original home...
I'm Edmonton sick already, I'm so pathetic... Oh well, can't say i dont have my reasons, living around such wonderful people all day every day really lifts the spirits (even though the time from Seussical to the end of finals was complete and utter hell)...
I look forward to going back, but I hope that I can enjoy myself here as much as I can...
I spent most of the day at home sleeping, a passtime, I must say, I have thoroughly missed. I was told I had to be extra nice to my family... They weren't too happy that i forgot to call them on their birthdays... not that I actually forgot, I just... I dunno... I can honestly say that I have no emotional attatchment to them. So calling them wasn't high on my to-do list.
Oh well, woah is me...
Staying up all night packing appears to have been a bad idea... Completely destroyed and reseblence to a sleeping habit that I may have had... Lol... Sleep is for the weak...
I'm so weak...
It also messed up my appetite... I have barely eaten since I got home. As not to put a cap on my own stupidity, I have recently consumed quite possibly the worst "I haven't eaten in 24 hours" food ever... I kid you not, I drank a near litre of egg nog...
Ick...
Oh, well... I look forward to church tomorrow! Its going to be fun, im also going for dinner at Jenns house tomorrow evening... Then I set myself into schedual to start work at petro can on monday! Its gonna be hella fun!
Gnight all
I'm Edmonton sick already, I'm so pathetic... Oh well, can't say i dont have my reasons, living around such wonderful people all day every day really lifts the spirits (even though the time from Seussical to the end of finals was complete and utter hell)...
I look forward to going back, but I hope that I can enjoy myself here as much as I can...
I spent most of the day at home sleeping, a passtime, I must say, I have thoroughly missed. I was told I had to be extra nice to my family... They weren't too happy that i forgot to call them on their birthdays... not that I actually forgot, I just... I dunno... I can honestly say that I have no emotional attatchment to them. So calling them wasn't high on my to-do list.
Oh well, woah is me...
Staying up all night packing appears to have been a bad idea... Completely destroyed and reseblence to a sleeping habit that I may have had... Lol... Sleep is for the weak...
I'm so weak...
It also messed up my appetite... I have barely eaten since I got home. As not to put a cap on my own stupidity, I have recently consumed quite possibly the worst "I haven't eaten in 24 hours" food ever... I kid you not, I drank a near litre of egg nog...
Ick...
Oh, well... I look forward to church tomorrow! Its going to be fun, im also going for dinner at Jenns house tomorrow evening... Then I set myself into schedual to start work at petro can on monday! Its gonna be hella fun!
Gnight all
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Returning
Well, now that this symester of schooling is (almost) done, and I will soon be making a few quick trips to cowboys before I go, I figure I should get abck into my old style of thinking for my return to Petro Can for the winter break...
I figure that I would complain (generically, of course) about my HS kids again...
Seriously, dumb as posts...
The RA's felt it would be nice for us to treat them out to a dinner, one that isn't cafeteria food. Now, I for one, would feel greatly honoured that someone would take time out of their busy shedual (we are in exams right now, and all the RA's are full time students) in order to provide some time away from campus and a decent meal...
But I kid you not, I heard so many complaints about how boring it was and how much the food sucked (it wasn't bad, honest)...
I wanted to yell... something along the lines of "I am not your entertainment, I am mearly here to ensure that you do not choke on your own toungues whilst you are away from the parents... whom obviously don't love you enough to let you go to a local school"
But I didn't... perhaps I'm getting soft in my old age... I'll be 21 soon enough... *sigh*
Oh well.. Time for sleep, I need to study in the morning...
Night all
I figure that I would complain (generically, of course) about my HS kids again...
Seriously, dumb as posts...
The RA's felt it would be nice for us to treat them out to a dinner, one that isn't cafeteria food. Now, I for one, would feel greatly honoured that someone would take time out of their busy shedual (we are in exams right now, and all the RA's are full time students) in order to provide some time away from campus and a decent meal...
But I kid you not, I heard so many complaints about how boring it was and how much the food sucked (it wasn't bad, honest)...
I wanted to yell... something along the lines of "I am not your entertainment, I am mearly here to ensure that you do not choke on your own toungues whilst you are away from the parents... whom obviously don't love you enough to let you go to a local school"
But I didn't... perhaps I'm getting soft in my old age... I'll be 21 soon enough... *sigh*
Oh well.. Time for sleep, I need to study in the morning...
Night all
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Ending
So, I think these last two weeks have been the most wretched of my life..
If I never have to do anothe report on polyester, I will die a appy man...
Im tired and cold, and the heater is still making crap loads of noise, but I survived...
Biochem is going to be a walk in the park...
Gnight all
If I never have to do anothe report on polyester, I will die a appy man...
Im tired and cold, and the heater is still making crap loads of noise, but I survived...
Biochem is going to be a walk in the park...
Gnight all
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
So Very Very Cold
So I have come to the conclusion that Concordia gives shit about you opnce you've given them their money...
Point and case:
I live in a dormatory which happens to be in one of the coldest provinces in Canada...
As such, i have a generic full-wall heater thingy that, for all intents and purposes, does not work... Rarely have I seen it giving off anything that resembles heat, but since it hasn't very cold as of late, this was no problem...
Or so I thought...
This last weekend we had the joy of breaking the -20C barrier... No super cold, but cold enough that even with double pane glass, a little bit of additional heat would be nice...
And wouldn't you know it, the heater turns on (aww how nice)
Anyone who knows me, knows I wouldn't go without complaining, so here goes!
The fucking thing is as loud as hell
I kid you not, I can barely listen to music overtop of it... Its so horrible... It pings and rattles like you wouldn't believe...
It's to the point where I can't sleep at night, and its constant so its hard to sleep during the day too...
And I inform the necissary people of my plight... "we'll get around to it eventually" is all I get half-offered...
Where is my $5000 going? It certainly isnt into service, I mean it took me two weeks for them to replace my light tube when it burned out... And by "them" I mean, I found the room where they hide the lightyubes and changed it myself...
Ugh...
Okay, im done for the day...
(Damn you concordia, damn you!)
Point and case:
I live in a dormatory which happens to be in one of the coldest provinces in Canada...
As such, i have a generic full-wall heater thingy that, for all intents and purposes, does not work... Rarely have I seen it giving off anything that resembles heat, but since it hasn't very cold as of late, this was no problem...
Or so I thought...
This last weekend we had the joy of breaking the -20C barrier... No super cold, but cold enough that even with double pane glass, a little bit of additional heat would be nice...
And wouldn't you know it, the heater turns on (aww how nice)
Anyone who knows me, knows I wouldn't go without complaining, so here goes!
The fucking thing is as loud as hell
I kid you not, I can barely listen to music overtop of it... Its so horrible... It pings and rattles like you wouldn't believe...
It's to the point where I can't sleep at night, and its constant so its hard to sleep during the day too...
And I inform the necissary people of my plight... "we'll get around to it eventually" is all I get half-offered...
Where is my $5000 going? It certainly isnt into service, I mean it took me two weeks for them to replace my light tube when it burned out... And by "them" I mean, I found the room where they hide the lightyubes and changed it myself...
Ugh...
Okay, im done for the day...
(Damn you concordia, damn you!)
Monday, December 06, 2004
Welcome to December!
So... Needless to say, I have survived... By the skin of my teeth, and a little worse for wear...
Im certain I'm going to fail Chem 321... Ive come to terms with this... needless to say, im in no hurry to finish the paper... Meh... I made a valiant effort (lol, the lies I tell myself)
Umm...
Things are going good, this weekend was hectic with all the concerts and all... They went really well...
I'm looking forward to going back to work at petro can for a few weeks... i know its sad, eh?
Umm...
Yeah, thats pretty much everything...
Oh, and just so everyone knows, and so noone worries, I've decreased my smoking severly, almost to the point of social smoker...
Umm...
yeah...
Oh... and worked this weekend... if I really want to call it work that is... I was asleep or at concerts for most of it, lol... Stupid kids, I hope one of them caught pnemonia and died..
Well... not really...
but it might be funny..
One of my friends turned 18 today... Mwahahah
We're going to the bar tonight... he was all like "I don't want to get to drunk"
1) today is the last day of classes
2) It is his 18th birthday today
3)Exams are do not start until Thursday
This boy will be lucky if he can walk to his exam on saturday ;)
I'm so horrible...
What kind of example am I...
lol
example
me?
Im certain I'm going to fail Chem 321... Ive come to terms with this... needless to say, im in no hurry to finish the paper... Meh... I made a valiant effort (lol, the lies I tell myself)
Umm...
Things are going good, this weekend was hectic with all the concerts and all... They went really well...
I'm looking forward to going back to work at petro can for a few weeks... i know its sad, eh?
Umm...
Yeah, thats pretty much everything...
Oh, and just so everyone knows, and so noone worries, I've decreased my smoking severly, almost to the point of social smoker...
Umm...
yeah...
Oh... and worked this weekend... if I really want to call it work that is... I was asleep or at concerts for most of it, lol... Stupid kids, I hope one of them caught pnemonia and died..
Well... not really...
but it might be funny..
One of my friends turned 18 today... Mwahahah
We're going to the bar tonight... he was all like "I don't want to get to drunk"
1) today is the last day of classes
2) It is his 18th birthday today
3)Exams are do not start until Thursday
This boy will be lucky if he can walk to his exam on saturday ;)
I'm so horrible...
What kind of example am I...
lol
example
me?
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
November Ends, blahs continue
So, Im lying in bed this morning, thinking "Whats the easiest way to piss myself off"... Well, not really, but I was thinking... And thats the part that annoys me, I can't turn off my brain, and its driving me nuts...
"you're so stupid" it yells me...
"why didn't you do this sooner" another voice pipes in...
"guys, back off and leave him alone, it's my turn to torment him" shouts a third...
If I wasn't so certain that these voices are caused by stress and sleep deprivation, I would be certain I was developing some severe schizo tendencies...
But alas, I have no one to blame but myself for this awful predicament I am in... Since when did I become this lazy... And I mean really, Ive reached new levels of laziness that are beyond comparison to any level of laziness I have ever achieved in my lazy past...
Really, I'm putting vegtables in hospital beds to shame, at least they have to struggle to breath (perhaps the ones on repirators are lazier to me, but I'm thinking it takes a lack of laziness in order to learn how to talk through blinking...)
So as it sits now, if I refrain from sleeping for the next three weeks, I will be able to pass all my classes... It wouldn't be the first time, trust me...
But I've reached a point where it doesn't really matter, cuz insofar as sleeping goes, I prefer it over essay writing any day of the week...
Perhaps my professors will understand my plight?
lol
I kid myself...
Im beginning to think that professors are heartless beasts...
I recieved a lecture from one of my profs when I prayed for focus... Perhaps hes on to me...
Usually professors don't realise I haven't a clue until after they grade my papers...
At least I wont be accused of being a female-hater this time around...
Swear to god, if my Chem teacher tells me I hate polyester im gonna smack him upside the head... Im so fed up with the polyester paper that its not even funny... I can regurgitate all the information necissary to complete it... polyester is the result of esterfication of dimethyl terephthalate with ethylene glycol at 240C to give bis-(2-hydroxyethyl)terephthalate and methanol, followed by an increase in temperature to 270C causing polymerization via self esterfication resulting in poly(ethylene terephthalate) and ethylene glycol... Throw in a few diagrams, the uses for polyester, the manufacturing companies and the amounts the produce and voila, a ten apge paper... Problem? I don't have valid reference material...
9/10 pages I've found have a littl tagline at the bottom stating "such and such is not responsible for any inacurate information found on this site"
Whens the last time you read a textbook that said "by the way, anything you read in this book may not be true, but hey, you can't sue us! mwahahahah"
It doesn't happen...
Needless to say, Im contemplating just using the retarded references simply for the ability to have the paper done...
Ugh, I hate this so much...
Oh and everyone else around is stressing out...
Well, minus a few friends...
Speaking of which, I'm getting quite happy with the calibre of friends I'm managing to pull off... If only they knew how horrible of a person I really am :)
In all seriousness, I think I'm gaining my new friends at the expense of my old ones... Not that this is a concious choice, but the new friends are around a lot more... By that I mean, we have more social connections that lead us to hang out more... And Im beginning to think that because the new friends are so accessable, the old ones are hitting the back burner...
Oh well, not a whole lot I can do about that right now, unless one of them would like to complete this fricken polyester report for me...
It would be big points on the Neal favouritism scale...
*sigh*
I'm not really sure what else there is to say...
Oh, about my recently aquired addiction...
I love it so much... I'm not sure if its the nicotine or the deprivation of oxygen caused by inhaling carbon monoxide/dioxide, but the feeling after a cigarette is amazing... Health risks aside, I think smoking is right up there with body modifications...
Oh!
Good news, my Petro Can boss called me, and asked if I wanted to work over winter break!
Saweet!
I hope I get lots of stat days!
Not to mention, I should have lots f great stories for over the break...
Anyways, I should really be getting to bed, its oh so very late... gnight!
"you're so stupid" it yells me...
"why didn't you do this sooner" another voice pipes in...
"guys, back off and leave him alone, it's my turn to torment him" shouts a third...
If I wasn't so certain that these voices are caused by stress and sleep deprivation, I would be certain I was developing some severe schizo tendencies...
But alas, I have no one to blame but myself for this awful predicament I am in... Since when did I become this lazy... And I mean really, Ive reached new levels of laziness that are beyond comparison to any level of laziness I have ever achieved in my lazy past...
Really, I'm putting vegtables in hospital beds to shame, at least they have to struggle to breath (perhaps the ones on repirators are lazier to me, but I'm thinking it takes a lack of laziness in order to learn how to talk through blinking...)
So as it sits now, if I refrain from sleeping for the next three weeks, I will be able to pass all my classes... It wouldn't be the first time, trust me...
But I've reached a point where it doesn't really matter, cuz insofar as sleeping goes, I prefer it over essay writing any day of the week...
Perhaps my professors will understand my plight?
lol
I kid myself...
Im beginning to think that professors are heartless beasts...
I recieved a lecture from one of my profs when I prayed for focus... Perhaps hes on to me...
Usually professors don't realise I haven't a clue until after they grade my papers...
At least I wont be accused of being a female-hater this time around...
Swear to god, if my Chem teacher tells me I hate polyester im gonna smack him upside the head... Im so fed up with the polyester paper that its not even funny... I can regurgitate all the information necissary to complete it... polyester is the result of esterfication of dimethyl terephthalate with ethylene glycol at 240C to give bis-(2-hydroxyethyl)terephthalate and methanol, followed by an increase in temperature to 270C causing polymerization via self esterfication resulting in poly(ethylene terephthalate) and ethylene glycol... Throw in a few diagrams, the uses for polyester, the manufacturing companies and the amounts the produce and voila, a ten apge paper... Problem? I don't have valid reference material...
9/10 pages I've found have a littl tagline at the bottom stating "such and such is not responsible for any inacurate information found on this site"
Whens the last time you read a textbook that said "by the way, anything you read in this book may not be true, but hey, you can't sue us! mwahahahah"
It doesn't happen...
Needless to say, Im contemplating just using the retarded references simply for the ability to have the paper done...
Ugh, I hate this so much...
Oh and everyone else around is stressing out...
Well, minus a few friends...
Speaking of which, I'm getting quite happy with the calibre of friends I'm managing to pull off... If only they knew how horrible of a person I really am :)
In all seriousness, I think I'm gaining my new friends at the expense of my old ones... Not that this is a concious choice, but the new friends are around a lot more... By that I mean, we have more social connections that lead us to hang out more... And Im beginning to think that because the new friends are so accessable, the old ones are hitting the back burner...
Oh well, not a whole lot I can do about that right now, unless one of them would like to complete this fricken polyester report for me...
It would be big points on the Neal favouritism scale...
*sigh*
I'm not really sure what else there is to say...
Oh, about my recently aquired addiction...
I love it so much... I'm not sure if its the nicotine or the deprivation of oxygen caused by inhaling carbon monoxide/dioxide, but the feeling after a cigarette is amazing... Health risks aside, I think smoking is right up there with body modifications...
Oh!
Good news, my Petro Can boss called me, and asked if I wanted to work over winter break!
Saweet!
I hope I get lots of stat days!
Not to mention, I should have lots f great stories for over the break...
Anyways, I should really be getting to bed, its oh so very late... gnight!
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
So
Setting things straight is ending up being a lot more fun than I thought it would!
Yay!!
On the plus side, Ive started smoking...
I suppose thats not really a plus... I hate smoking... I really do... But it's oh so good...
Hopefully this is something I can forget about really soon, but for now I need to find a way to get me a pack of my own... I need to stop mooching...
*Sigh*
Yay!!
On the plus side, Ive started smoking...
I suppose thats not really a plus... I hate smoking... I really do... But it's oh so good...
Hopefully this is something I can forget about really soon, but for now I need to find a way to get me a pack of my own... I need to stop mooching...
*Sigh*
Monday, November 22, 2004
November
/sappy rant on
Well, it's been a long time comming...
To say that novembers suck would be an understatement... Pretty much everything I do focuses around my inability to do anything productive.
November Blahs; my archenemy... well actually, my figurative archenemy, as I have to many literal ones...
I think I am less pleasant to be around in November, as I am finding myself complaining more... I know what youre all saying- "he has a higher level of complaining?"
I kid you not, I'm even noticing how much I'm over complaining... Even this post is a complaint... Oh woe is me!
I suppose things should get better now, I mean all I have left to do is a couple of papers, a few exams, a crapload of concerts, and aid a friend with her capstone...
Not to mention maintaining the social aquaintances I have made in the last few weeks... I'm trying to ween myself off of the computer as much as I can... It's not going as well as I would have hoped, but I'm doing better... Mayhaps that had more to do with Seussical (a musical about seuss, for those not in the know)... I was the antagonist... mwahaha... typecasting I know, but I digress...
I look forward to going home, not so much the going home part now-- I feel quite indifferent about my returning back to Vancouver for the time being... don't get me wrong, I look forward to all y friends and stuff... heck I'm even looking forward a bit to working at petro can... how sad is that-- but I am looking forward to being able to look back on these last three months with some perspective...
Without getting into to much detail, I've really screwed somethings up... Other things have turned out a million times better than I ever could have hoped... I just wish I hadn't hurt so many people in the process...
They don't seem to hate me, thats for sure, perhaps they're enacting revenge in some sadistic way I dont understand... That would certainly explain why the cafeteria food was so awful this weekend... Or perhaps some miniature voodoo neal doll would explain why ears, knees, nostrils, hands and thumbnails were so easy to bleed this last weekend...
Regardless, I wish I could say I am simply going to wave my hand and everything will revert back to the way it was-- heck, take me back to last december, and let me try it all over again...
But then again, I did say that i like the way some things have turned out, and it would be selfish to revert everything...
Meh!
Okay, so this is it.... Everyone who is reading this, this is the point at which I change... When I look back at my year during that 'sit and ponder' part of New years, I will reflect back to this point as the time when I started to become the person I wanted to be...
No longer will I sit idley by and accept the person dictated for to me... I'm gonna make certain things right; be honest and truthful...
If thats what it's gonna take... hoo-wee Im gonna do it...
/sappy rant off
Well, it's been a long time comming...
To say that novembers suck would be an understatement... Pretty much everything I do focuses around my inability to do anything productive.
November Blahs; my archenemy... well actually, my figurative archenemy, as I have to many literal ones...
I think I am less pleasant to be around in November, as I am finding myself complaining more... I know what youre all saying- "he has a higher level of complaining?"
I kid you not, I'm even noticing how much I'm over complaining... Even this post is a complaint... Oh woe is me!
I suppose things should get better now, I mean all I have left to do is a couple of papers, a few exams, a crapload of concerts, and aid a friend with her capstone...
Not to mention maintaining the social aquaintances I have made in the last few weeks... I'm trying to ween myself off of the computer as much as I can... It's not going as well as I would have hoped, but I'm doing better... Mayhaps that had more to do with Seussical (a musical about seuss, for those not in the know)... I was the antagonist... mwahaha... typecasting I know, but I digress...
I look forward to going home, not so much the going home part now-- I feel quite indifferent about my returning back to Vancouver for the time being... don't get me wrong, I look forward to all y friends and stuff... heck I'm even looking forward a bit to working at petro can... how sad is that-- but I am looking forward to being able to look back on these last three months with some perspective...
Without getting into to much detail, I've really screwed somethings up... Other things have turned out a million times better than I ever could have hoped... I just wish I hadn't hurt so many people in the process...
They don't seem to hate me, thats for sure, perhaps they're enacting revenge in some sadistic way I dont understand... That would certainly explain why the cafeteria food was so awful this weekend... Or perhaps some miniature voodoo neal doll would explain why ears, knees, nostrils, hands and thumbnails were so easy to bleed this last weekend...
Regardless, I wish I could say I am simply going to wave my hand and everything will revert back to the way it was-- heck, take me back to last december, and let me try it all over again...
But then again, I did say that i like the way some things have turned out, and it would be selfish to revert everything...
Meh!
Okay, so this is it.... Everyone who is reading this, this is the point at which I change... When I look back at my year during that 'sit and ponder' part of New years, I will reflect back to this point as the time when I started to become the person I wanted to be...
No longer will I sit idley by and accept the person dictated for to me... I'm gonna make certain things right; be honest and truthful...
If thats what it's gonna take... hoo-wee Im gonna do it...
/sappy rant off
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Gahk!
Just a quick post before I head off to bed...
Tonight, I was not on duty, thank God! But someone had to be, so the other guy-- whom I have become quite good friends with-- stopped by my room on his patrol of the halls when room curfew went into effect...
They gave him the roughest time, and I felt quite bad... (although I felt like cheering when he lost his temper and told one of the little shits to 'stfu')
Needless to say, after 40 minutes of yelling at the 'tards to go to their room, he finally burns out and heads off to bed...
He hadn't been gone from my room for 40 seconds when someone knocked on my door and asked 'can you let me outsside so I can have a cigarette?'
'OMG! NO!'
'Why?'
'Cuz you gave the other RA a really hard time, and I'm not out to be doing any of you favours!'
'That wasn't me!'
'Get out of my room!'
I wanted to punch him, as he walked back to his room I yelled a reminder that he is to have all of his smokes before curfew, and that i would not be making and exceptions from now on...
Although I'm quite certain that he was one of the people making the other RA's life miserable, I hope that f he wasn't, he beats the shit out of one of the that was...
Sigh
gnight
Tonight, I was not on duty, thank God! But someone had to be, so the other guy-- whom I have become quite good friends with-- stopped by my room on his patrol of the halls when room curfew went into effect...
They gave him the roughest time, and I felt quite bad... (although I felt like cheering when he lost his temper and told one of the little shits to 'stfu')
Needless to say, after 40 minutes of yelling at the 'tards to go to their room, he finally burns out and heads off to bed...
He hadn't been gone from my room for 40 seconds when someone knocked on my door and asked 'can you let me outsside so I can have a cigarette?'
'OMG! NO!'
'Why?'
'Cuz you gave the other RA a really hard time, and I'm not out to be doing any of you favours!'
'That wasn't me!'
'Get out of my room!'
I wanted to punch him, as he walked back to his room I yelled a reminder that he is to have all of his smokes before curfew, and that i would not be making and exceptions from now on...
Although I'm quite certain that he was one of the people making the other RA's life miserable, I hope that f he wasn't, he beats the shit out of one of the that was...
Sigh
gnight
Monday, November 08, 2004
Discontent
To say that I am discontent would be an understatement...
I have achieved the level of November Blahs unlike any man has ever reached before... I wish I could go back to when life was simpler, unfortunately, I am well aware that no one with a 5th grade education gets very far in life... Wait a second, thats not true!
Every person I deal with in my daily life has a 5th grade education.. well maybe there is a genius or two who skipped grade 5, but everyone has indeed taken it... Perhaps there is hope afterall!!!
But before I drop out, and become the Edmonton Mole Person ( http://www.straightdope.com/columns/040109.html ) I figure I should explain...
I said yes to a musical... no problem, except I forgot how much time they take up... I didnt learn my lesson the last three times... Woe is me, eh?
Needless to say, by the time I'm done rehersals, the chances of me wanting to start right away on homework are slim to none... But I continue on... Blah!
But when I come back to my room, I am forced to deal with the imbiciles we call high school students... Those that i am lord and master over are dumb as tree stumps...
They keep trying to show me the hypocracy of making them go to their rooms while i continue my showering and TV watching... And I keep reminding them that I have their signature on a form that says they will abide by all rules set forth by concordia, and one of those rules is the 11pm room curfew... I also need to remind them that as a university student, I am not required to sign such a document and am free to spend my time doing whatever I please...
I have had to keep repeating this so many times... and not to everyone... to the same 5 people... Jeez, get it in your heads you retards! I am not going to change my opinion, and all youre doing is making me like you less, so that when you ask me to do something I would otherwise have let you do, I will tell you no... and I will do it with a smile on my face...
Oh, and they got their interm report cards back last friday... So there were quite a few upset parents, needless to say... (dumb as stumps, I kid you not)...
One of the kids was questioned about his grades were so low and why he was almost always late or absent from his first classes in the morning... He blamed me... Apparently I keep him up late with my wild parties and excessive noise... I don't even like the little fucker, I want to beat the shit out of him (and there are two things stopping me 1)I'd lose my job and 2)Beating him is a dream, and should I succeed in doing it, and I don't enjoy it as much as I hope, then one of my dreams would be a failure)... Sorry, back to my tale...
So the kid blames me (apparently telling him to go to his own room keeps him up at night)... Once more, the kid tells his mom a specific tale in which I kept him up 'till 4am drinking pop, listening to music and eating pizza... (I had a brief meeting with my boss because the mom thought it was horrible that someone hired to ensure that her son was getting the best of his education would be keeping him up at night)
Bgwah???
I seem to remember the tale a little bit differently than he told his mother (not that I blame him entirely, I've dealt with his mom, she's such a cow)
I was out studying (yes, occasionally I study, don't act shocked everyone)... During my study period, I ordered pizza... We have a great little pizza place that has really decent pizzas 2 for 1... So I bought, and ate to my hearts content... I, by myself, could not finish two whole pizzas, so I carried them home in order to place in the fridge for later consumption... Approximate time 2:30am
Upon entering the hallway towards my room, I saw a light from an open door... Inside the room were several of the guys from high school, three were studying, one was working on art (he paints and draws and stuff) and one was chatting to the others (bet you can't guess which one is the focus of our story... heres a hint, it wasn't the studiers or the painter)...
Figuring they were already up, being relatively respectful in regards to quietness, and I was not on duty, I offered them the remainder of my pizza, offered a few cans of pop which i have stored in my room, and then went to bed...
What a bad bad man I am, eh? Keeping her satan child out till al hours of the night with my drinking and my promiscuity... Oh the humanity...
I hope things start getting better really soon... Boss has said that the kid will be suspended if he gives us lip... So I'm down with that, now all I need to do is find a way to get around the can't touch status that some of the kids have...
They're the preferred children to Boss... And because he hangs out with them, they have been manipulating him, and often get off with wrist slaps when they should be getting suspensions and stuff... Worse yet, they're playing me and Boss like two divorced parents... Except I'm the bad parent that never lets them get away with shit, and so I always find out later that Boss said it was okay...
Im sick of dealing with this...
Ugh...
Whoowee, how am I going to get to sleep tonight?
I have achieved the level of November Blahs unlike any man has ever reached before... I wish I could go back to when life was simpler, unfortunately, I am well aware that no one with a 5th grade education gets very far in life... Wait a second, thats not true!
Every person I deal with in my daily life has a 5th grade education.. well maybe there is a genius or two who skipped grade 5, but everyone has indeed taken it... Perhaps there is hope afterall!!!
But before I drop out, and become the Edmonton Mole Person ( http://www.straightdope.com/columns/040109.html ) I figure I should explain...
I said yes to a musical... no problem, except I forgot how much time they take up... I didnt learn my lesson the last three times... Woe is me, eh?
Needless to say, by the time I'm done rehersals, the chances of me wanting to start right away on homework are slim to none... But I continue on... Blah!
But when I come back to my room, I am forced to deal with the imbiciles we call high school students... Those that i am lord and master over are dumb as tree stumps...
They keep trying to show me the hypocracy of making them go to their rooms while i continue my showering and TV watching... And I keep reminding them that I have their signature on a form that says they will abide by all rules set forth by concordia, and one of those rules is the 11pm room curfew... I also need to remind them that as a university student, I am not required to sign such a document and am free to spend my time doing whatever I please...
I have had to keep repeating this so many times... and not to everyone... to the same 5 people... Jeez, get it in your heads you retards! I am not going to change my opinion, and all youre doing is making me like you less, so that when you ask me to do something I would otherwise have let you do, I will tell you no... and I will do it with a smile on my face...
Oh, and they got their interm report cards back last friday... So there were quite a few upset parents, needless to say... (dumb as stumps, I kid you not)...
One of the kids was questioned about his grades were so low and why he was almost always late or absent from his first classes in the morning... He blamed me... Apparently I keep him up late with my wild parties and excessive noise... I don't even like the little fucker, I want to beat the shit out of him (and there are two things stopping me 1)I'd lose my job and 2)Beating him is a dream, and should I succeed in doing it, and I don't enjoy it as much as I hope, then one of my dreams would be a failure)... Sorry, back to my tale...
So the kid blames me (apparently telling him to go to his own room keeps him up at night)... Once more, the kid tells his mom a specific tale in which I kept him up 'till 4am drinking pop, listening to music and eating pizza... (I had a brief meeting with my boss because the mom thought it was horrible that someone hired to ensure that her son was getting the best of his education would be keeping him up at night)
Bgwah???
I seem to remember the tale a little bit differently than he told his mother (not that I blame him entirely, I've dealt with his mom, she's such a cow)
I was out studying (yes, occasionally I study, don't act shocked everyone)... During my study period, I ordered pizza... We have a great little pizza place that has really decent pizzas 2 for 1... So I bought, and ate to my hearts content... I, by myself, could not finish two whole pizzas, so I carried them home in order to place in the fridge for later consumption... Approximate time 2:30am
Upon entering the hallway towards my room, I saw a light from an open door... Inside the room were several of the guys from high school, three were studying, one was working on art (he paints and draws and stuff) and one was chatting to the others (bet you can't guess which one is the focus of our story... heres a hint, it wasn't the studiers or the painter)...
Figuring they were already up, being relatively respectful in regards to quietness, and I was not on duty, I offered them the remainder of my pizza, offered a few cans of pop which i have stored in my room, and then went to bed...
What a bad bad man I am, eh? Keeping her satan child out till al hours of the night with my drinking and my promiscuity... Oh the humanity...
I hope things start getting better really soon... Boss has said that the kid will be suspended if he gives us lip... So I'm down with that, now all I need to do is find a way to get around the can't touch status that some of the kids have...
They're the preferred children to Boss... And because he hangs out with them, they have been manipulating him, and often get off with wrist slaps when they should be getting suspensions and stuff... Worse yet, they're playing me and Boss like two divorced parents... Except I'm the bad parent that never lets them get away with shit, and so I always find out later that Boss said it was okay...
Im sick of dealing with this...
Ugh...
Whoowee, how am I going to get to sleep tonight?
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
RA:TTM
Hello Faithful readers..
Well, I'm back! Sort of... I'm not working at petro can for the time being, but I plan on returning next summer...
I was bored and a figured I should update this, since its been so very very long...
Just so everyone knows, due to the nature of my current job (I am a RA:TTM! -- Residence Assitant: To The Max!!!) I am not able to complain about things in public... Or at least thats how I read into it.
I had to sign a confidentiality agreement that pretty much states that my job (well, the parts of it that would be worth putting on this blog) are not to be shared. I like my job (most days) so I will not go beyond my legal agreement and talk about the indivuals I associate with as per my paycheck.
That being said, I am allowed to gripe, so long as my gripage is generalized or about non-dorm stuff... I can also share all the cool stuff that i get to do...
So I have a month and a bit now to reflect upon... I shall try my best to remember certain things, but no gurantees... I'm not so good at the remembering thing...
Initially we were attempting to be Nazi's in dorm. We have high school students which share accomodations at our university... They are considered wards of the school, and in many ways we are allowed to act as their guardian. But, they have rules that they are to follow. They have a manditory study time from 7pm-9pm mon-thur. They have building curfews (10pm sun-thur 12pm fri-sat) and room curfews (11pm mon-thur).
Like I said, in the beginning, we were nazis. These rules were the be all and end all in the concordia universe.
But we slowly started to let them slide. So long as they were respectful. They wanted to make a phone call at 2am? they had to talk quietly... They wanted to study as a group for an exam until 3am? They had to keep the door shut... Needed to go out for a smoke? We wouldnt set the outside alarms until 11pm so that you could until room curfew..
Above all else, they needed to make sure that the girls dorm was not aware that there was a double standard in the way the dorms were operated (the girls have been successful in their attempts to Nazisize their dorm)...
Last Tuesday the male RA's (myself included) were informed that the guys were abusing their privilages... They were going out for 'smokes' and actually walking over to girls dorm to flaunt their freedom... They were telling the girls that they were allowed to stay up late and hang out... They were glaoting about how easy it was to avoid studying during study hours...
No more...
We have since resumed prison status in our dorm
It was an initial shock when the guys tryed to get back to dorm at 10:05 and the doors were all locked... They were banging on it trying to figure out what was wrong (the high school kids are not given outside door keys in order to prevent them from being able to sneak in)..
I dunno how long this will last... It should be loads of fun though... So much moe work for me...
Well, I'm back! Sort of... I'm not working at petro can for the time being, but I plan on returning next summer...
I was bored and a figured I should update this, since its been so very very long...
Just so everyone knows, due to the nature of my current job (I am a RA:TTM! -- Residence Assitant: To The Max!!!) I am not able to complain about things in public... Or at least thats how I read into it.
I had to sign a confidentiality agreement that pretty much states that my job (well, the parts of it that would be worth putting on this blog) are not to be shared. I like my job (most days) so I will not go beyond my legal agreement and talk about the indivuals I associate with as per my paycheck.
That being said, I am allowed to gripe, so long as my gripage is generalized or about non-dorm stuff... I can also share all the cool stuff that i get to do...
So I have a month and a bit now to reflect upon... I shall try my best to remember certain things, but no gurantees... I'm not so good at the remembering thing...
Initially we were attempting to be Nazi's in dorm. We have high school students which share accomodations at our university... They are considered wards of the school, and in many ways we are allowed to act as their guardian. But, they have rules that they are to follow. They have a manditory study time from 7pm-9pm mon-thur. They have building curfews (10pm sun-thur 12pm fri-sat) and room curfews (11pm mon-thur).
Like I said, in the beginning, we were nazis. These rules were the be all and end all in the concordia universe.
But we slowly started to let them slide. So long as they were respectful. They wanted to make a phone call at 2am? they had to talk quietly... They wanted to study as a group for an exam until 3am? They had to keep the door shut... Needed to go out for a smoke? We wouldnt set the outside alarms until 11pm so that you could until room curfew..
Above all else, they needed to make sure that the girls dorm was not aware that there was a double standard in the way the dorms were operated (the girls have been successful in their attempts to Nazisize their dorm)...
Last Tuesday the male RA's (myself included) were informed that the guys were abusing their privilages... They were going out for 'smokes' and actually walking over to girls dorm to flaunt their freedom... They were telling the girls that they were allowed to stay up late and hang out... They were glaoting about how easy it was to avoid studying during study hours...
No more...
We have since resumed prison status in our dorm
It was an initial shock when the guys tryed to get back to dorm at 10:05 and the doors were all locked... They were banging on it trying to figure out what was wrong (the high school kids are not given outside door keys in order to prevent them from being able to sneak in)..
I dunno how long this will last... It should be loads of fun though... So much moe work for me...
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