For easy reference with the heretic post (and cuz I'm bored)

(all are copy pasted from wikipedia, as per the GNU Free Documentation Liscensing)

Modalism

In Christianity, Sabellianism (also known as modalism) is the third-century belief that the three persons of the Trinity are merely different modes or aspects of God, rather than three distinct persons. It is attributed to Sabellius, who taught a form of this doctrine in Rome in the third century. Hippolytus knew Sabellius personally and mentioned him in the Philosophumena. He knew Sabellius disliked Trinitarian theology, yet he called Modal Monarchism the heresy of Noetos, not that of Sabellius. Sabellianism was embraced by Christians in Cyrenaica, to whom Demetrius, Patriarch of Alexandria, wrote letters arguing against this belief.
The chief opponent of Sabellianism was Tertullian, who labelled the movement "Patripassianism", from the Latin words patris for "father", and passus for "to suffer" because it implied that the Father suffered on the Cross. It was Coined by Tertullian in his work Adversus Praxeas, Chapter II, "By this Praxeas did a twofold service for the devil at Rome: he drove away prophecy, and he brought in heresy; he put to flight the Paraclete, and he crucified the Father." It is important to note that our only sources extant for our understanding of Sabellianism is from their detractors. Scholars today are not in agreement as to what exactly Sabellius or Praxeus taught.
Today, Sabellianism is rejected by most types of Christianity and some argue that it logically leads to Nestorianism. It is accepted primarily by some Pentecostal groups, sometimes referred to as Oneness Pentecostals or "Jesus Only" Pentecostals.
Historic Sabellianism taught that God the Father was the only person of the Godhead. This teaching proports that the identity of God the Father and Jesus is the same. According to this belief, the terms "Father" and "Holy Spirit" both describe the one God who dwelt in Jesus. Some Oneness detractors call this the "Jesus-Only doctrine".

Peleganism

Pelagianism is a belief that original sin did not taint human nature (which, being created from God, was divine), and that mortal will is still capable of choosing good or evil without Divine aid. Thus, Adam's sin was "to set a bad example" for his progeny, but his actions did not have the other consequences imputed to Original Sin. Pelagianism views the role of Jesus as "setting a good example" for the rest of us (thus counteracting Adam's bad example). In short, humanity has full control, and thus full responsibility, for its own salvation in addition to full responsibility for every sin (the latter insisted upon by both proponents and opponents of Pelagianism).
Pelagianism was opposed by Augustine of Hippo, leading to its condemnation as a heresy at several local synods. These condemnations were summarily ratified at the Council of Ephesus, although it was not considered a major act of that council.
Pelagianism never vanished completely from Christian history; it survived in variations like Semi-Pelagianism, which was born during the 19th century evangelical American revival movement and by its defenders, with the theology espoused by Charles Finney.

Monophysitism/Apollinarian

Monophysitism (from the Greek monos meaning 'one, alone' and physis meaning 'nature') is the christological position that Christ has only one nature, as opposed to the Chalcedonian position which holds that Christ has two natures, one divine and one human. There are two major doctrines that can undisputedly be called monophysite:
Eutychianism holds that the human nature of Christ was essentially obliterated by the Divine, "dissolved like a drop of honey in the sea".
Apollinarianism holds that Christ had a human body and human "living principle" but that the Divine Logos had taken the place of the nous, or "thinking principle", analogous but not identical to what might be called a mind in the present day.
The radical monophysitism of Eutyches emerged in Egypt as a response to Nestorianism. It was rejected at the Council of Chalcedon in 451 and is also rejected by the Oriental Orthodox Churches.
Later, monothelitism was developed as an attempt to bridge the gap between the monophysite and the Chalcedonian position, but it too was rejected by the Chalcedonians, despite at times having the support of the Byzantine Emperors. Some are of the opinion that monothelitism was at one time held by the Maronites, but they, for the most part, dispute this, stating that the Maronite Community has never been out of communion with the Roman Catholic Church.
Miaphysitism, the Christology of the Oriental Orthodox Churches, is sometimes considered a variant of monophysitism, but these Churches take pains to distinguish their teaching from monophysitism per se.

Nestorianism

Nestorianism is the Christian doctrine that Jesus existed as two persons, the man Jesus and the divine Son of God, rather than as a unified person. This doctrine is identified with Nestorius (c.386–c.451), Patriarch of Constantinople, although it is inappropriately named since he himself denied holding this belief. This view of Christ was condemned at the Council of Ephesus in 431, and the conflict over this view led to the Nestorian schism, separating the Assyrian Church of the East from the Byzantine Church.
Historical references to Nestorians are to the Assyrian Church of the East, commonly described as Nestorian because it refused to drop support for Nestorius and denounce him as an heretic. However the church of the east does not teach Nestorianism, but rather teaches the view of Babai the Great, that Christ has two qnome (essences) which are unmingled and eternally united in one parsopa (personality). The origin of this confusion is mostly historical and linguistic: for example, the Greeks had two words for 'person', which translated poorly into Syriac, and the meaning of these terms were not even quite settled during Nestorius's lifetime.
Nestorianism as a Christological heresy originated in the Church in the 5th century out of an attempt to rationally explain and understand the incarnation of the divine Logos, the Second Person of the Holy Trinity as the man Jesus Christ. Nestorianism teaches that the human and divine essences of Christ are separate and that there are two persons, the man Jesus Christ and the divine Logos, which dwelt in the man. Thus, Nestorians reject such terminology as "God suffered" or "God was crucified", because they believe that the man Jesus Christ suffered. Likewise, they reject the term Theotokos (Giver of birth to God) for the Virgin Mary, using instead the term Christotokos (Giver of birth to Christ) or Anthropotokos (Giver of birth to a man).

Monarchism

Monarchianism, or Monarchism as it is sometimes called, is a set of beliefs that emphasize God as being one, that God is the single and only ruler.
This emphasis conflicted with the doctrine of the Trinity, of God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Models of resolving the tension between the two principles in favour of God's oneness were proposed in the 2nd century, but rejected as heretical by the Church.

Gnosticism

(wikipedia entry gives far too much detail)

Adoptionism

Adoptionism is a view held by some early medieval Christians, that Jesus was born a human only, and was not divine until his baptism, at which point he was adopted as the Son by God the Father.

Donatism

Their primary disagreement with the rest of the Church was over the treatment of those who forsook their faith during the Persecution (303–305 AD) of Diocletian. The rest of the Church was far more forgiving of these people than the Donatists were. They refused to accept the sacraments and spiritual authority of the priests and bishops who had fallen away from the faith during the persecution. Many church leaders had gone as far as turning in Christians to the Roman authorities and had handed over sacred religious texts to authorities to be publicly burned. These people were called traditors ("people who had handed over"). These traditors had returned to positions of authority under Constantine, and the Donatists proclaimed that any sacraments celebrated by these priests and bishops were invalid. As a result, many towns were divided between Donatist and non-Donatist congregations. The sect had particularly developed and grown in North Africa. Constantine, as emperor, began to get involved in the dispute, and in 314 he called a council at Arles in France; the issue was debated and the decision went against the Donatists. The Donatists refused to accept the decision of the council, their distaste for bishops who had collaborated with Rome came out of their broader view of the Roman empire. After the Constantinian shift when other Christians accepted the emperor as a leader in the church, the Donatists continued to see the emperor as the devil. In particular, the birth of the Donatist movement came out of opposition to the appointment of Caecilian as bishop of Carthage in 312 AD because of his pro-government stance. In 317 Constantine sent troops to deal with the Donatists in Carthage, for the first time Christian persecuting Christian. It resulted in banishments and even executions. It failed completely and Constantine had to withdraw and cancel the persecutions in 321.
Donatists were more than just an opposition movement. They also had a distinctive worship style, emphasizing ‘mystical union of the righteous inspired by the Holy Spirit and instructed by the Bible.1 Anabaptists and other radical church traditions have looked to Donatists as historical predecessors because of their opposition to the union of state and church, their emphasis on discipleship and, in some cases, their commitment to nonviolence and social justice. Like those in the Radical Reformation in the 16th century, the Donatists saw the Catholics as impure and corrupted.

Socinianism

Socinianism summarises the beliefs of the Socinians, followers of Laelius Socinus (died 1562 in Zürich) and of his nephew Faustus Socinus (died 1604 in Poland).
The Socinians congregated especially in the Transylvania, in Poland (see Polish brethren) and in the Netherlands. They held sceptical views on reason and rejected orthodox teachings on the Trinity and on the divinity of Jesus, as summarised in the Racovian Catechism.

Albigensians

Albigensians (French: Albigeois) literally means the inhabitants of Albi, a city in southern France. However, the term was used to refer to the followers of Catharism, a Gnostic-like religious movement of southern France in the 12th and 13th century. The name originates from the end of the 12th century, and was used in 1181 by the chronicler Geoffroy du Breuil of Vigeois. The name is somewhat misleading as the center of the religious movement was really Toulouse.
They believed that the principles of good and evil continually oppose each other in the world. The Albigenses opposed marriage, bearing children (because they thought bringing life into the world to be a sin), and eating meat. They advocated suicide, especially by starvation (so that when they died, they would have little taint on them and free of Earthly desires). In the 14th century the church declared them heretics. In the years that followed the Crusades and Inquisitions against them, they slowly disolved, and by the 15th century they had completely disappeared.

Arianism

Arianism was a Christological view held by followers of Arius, a Christian priest who lived and taught in Alexandria, Egypt, in the early 4th century. Arius taught that God the Father and the Son were not co-eternal, seeing the pre-incarnate Jesus as a divine being but nonetheless created by (and consequently inferior to) the Father at some point, before which the Son did not exist. In English-language works, it is sometimes said that Arians believe that Jesus is or was a "creature"; in this context, the word is being used in its original sense of "created being."

Docetism

In Christianity, Docetism is the belief, regarded by most theologians as heretical, that Jesus did not have a physical body; rather, that his body was an illusion, as was his crucifixion.
This belief is most commonly attributed to the Gnostics, who believed that matter was evil, and hence that God would not take on a material body. This sort of statement, however, is rooted in the idea that a divine spark is imprisoned within the material body and that the material body is in itself an obstacle, deliberately created by an evil lesser god (the demiurge) for this purpose, that prevents man from seeing his divine origin. Humanity is, in essence, asleep.

You scored as Chalcedon compliant. You are Chalcedon compliant. Congratulations, you're not a heretic. You believe that Jesus is truly God and truly man and like us in every respect, apart from sin. Officially approved in 451. Chalcedon compliant 100% Apollanarian 67% Modalism 58% Pelagianism 58% Monophysitism 58% Nestorianism 50% Monarchianism 33% Gnosticism 25% Adoptionist 25% Donatism 17% Socinianism 17% Albigensianism 8% Arianism 8% Docetism 0% Are you a heretic? created with QuizFarm.com

Some 'Splainin'

So I'm sure you will all note my complete lack of posts as of recent...

This is due, mainly, to the fact that most f my posts (in order to maintain their bitter jaded tone) are posted later in the evening... But due to my newly aquired sleeping habits (thats right everyone, I am sleeping frequently and routinely) posting has become a bit of a hrd to do...

So let me catch you up on my week...

Friday I went for the most amazing apple crumble I've had in years! It was astounding... you could really taste the love... Or was it cinnamin... I can never tell (always getting those two mixed up)... Either way, I stufffed my face... Then came the full contact dutch blitz...

I should apologize now, cuz I'm not going to in person, but I do NOT suffer from the same guilt complex as others... I will induce large amounts of pain without feeling guilty before or during (unless of course, I draw blood)... You have been warned, and this will be my only apology...

Anyways... I went home cuz I was sleepy... slept ofr a little bit, and then played board games with the HS kids...

Honest to god, my newest game is a 45 minutes shouting match EVERY time... I was recommended the game by a friend/gaming associate, who then pointed out the fact that he would not play it with me... I can see why...

I made the mistake of playing with my boss each time... I try to remind him that I can make the working situation very uncomfortable... It didnt work... he screws me over EVERY time...

I swear, next time he screws me over I'm gonna push him down a flight of stairs... preferably the cement ones in schwermann hall...

Anyways...

Saturday was our little dorm event... About 35-40 people ended up comming out, so I will say it was a success... There were positive reviews of the photo scavenger hunt mattyk and me planned, so thast good...

Me and rod tried desperately to keep our waterpark/hours-logged quota up... But by 630, with him having barely slept the night before, and myself having not eaten since apple crumble, we decided to call it a day...

No chaffing this year, which was a big improvement over last year (moral of the story is spend more than $15 on your swimwear... and if you're going to be hiking up vast amounts of stairs, you need to get shorts without lining...)

So we went for dinner... I don;t know what it is about West Ed, but every time I'm there I get a HUGE craving for the overpriced, mal-nutrient chinese food from the food court... SO needless to say i stuffed my face full of deepfried chicken balls and sweet'n'sour pork...

Then we went shopping at HMV, and headed out to meet our bus back to dorm...

Thats when I saddled up my horse and rode off to the party...

Literally, I put a horse costume on and went to a wild western/indian themed party

The evening was quite enjoyable... Just the right combination of people I know and people I don't know (well... my preferable mix is lots of people i know, and people I don't know staying out of my way and trying not to make me feel uncomfortable)

I met a few people who i didn't know but knew stories about... It was good to get their side of things... I suppose...

getting to know the truth tends to lead to a loss of mystique/humour...

Oh well...

I had aimed to complete the night being spared the fate of the oil based paints... But alas, after a drink or two I sumehow ended up with "Fire Truck" (minus the iretr of course) written across my forhead...

After walking a drunk or two home (I was still in the babysitting drunken stage) and having my sandals spat in (EWW!!!) i realised that it was too cold to be wearing sandals...

I think I came to this conclusion a few weeks ago too... And some part of me wishes I had come to this conclusion again before the walk... as the walk themselves was fine... It was only once I got back and realised how effing cold my feet were... when they started tingling and burning as they thawed out...

But I drank the feeling away and continued to party it up...

When I started to crash, it was time to go home.. So I walked back... again in my sandals (why! why do people let me do this... although I suppose if they tried to stop me I would start wearing them for spite...

Anyways... Sunday was lowkey... hung around dorm for the most part... managed to get myself over to girls dorm in order to find out the results of the photo scavenger hunt (turns out the team I was on won!!! go team!!!)

well... we didnt win... we dominated...

and today was more of the same...

Although I was VERY disheartened by the elecion results... it's in no way a majority, and near as I can tell they have support of no one...

Regardless, I put some taseless posters up in my window to let the student body know I disagree with the election results...

I've said it before and I'll say it again... more money for health care, more money for infrastructure, more money for military, billions of dollars in tax cuts, all while turning out a balanced budget and paying off the debt...

call me a skeptic, but I kinda find it hard to believe that they'll find time to achieve all this in and amongst all of the other things on Harpers agenda... (denouncing kyoto, setting up a health care system for those making more than 100k a year, forcing single mothers to chose between wokring and caring for their child, burning homosexuals at the stake, ignoring 200 years of atrocities committed towards first nations, invading sovereign nations, and systematically tearing apart the dominion of canada)...

I have had a lot of people tell me I should just vote conservative and give them a chance... I did not, and will not based on three reasons...

1) I am not a bigot! My beliefs, as a christian, do NOT overshadow my belief in the right of EVERY human being (and a lot of people seem to forget that you do not cease to be human once you start openly admiting you're gay)... The church has their right to chose whom the wed, that is sufficient...

2) The canadian government is structured to assist those who are in deepest need, not to facilitate those who have the ability to buy their way through everything... Socialism works, people...

3) We already gave the conservatives a chance... They blew it... In a four week period in 1993 the conservatives lost 20% of the popular vote and 167 of the 169 seats they held in the canadian parliment (most likely marking one of the most astounding defeats in the modern world)... We gave them their chance, and what do we have to show for it? GST, a segregated west, a seemingly disfranchised quebec, and an economy that left a lot to be desired...

I'm sleepy...

Thx for Sharing

"blog prize. Unfortunatly that due to buget"

I just took what i wanted... thx for sharing morgan...

Famine

So I participated in a fast that lasted for 34 hours... Many people are probibly wondering, why? why would you choose not to eat for 34 hours?

To be quite honest, I felt obligated to...

It was a fundraiser (for which i did no fundraising) with the intent to raise money for the readin week mission trip...

Now you learn a lot about yourself when you give up eating for 34 hours...

I am quite irritable when I have to do anything for 34 hours... But then I cam to a realization that maybe it's not just irritability... There are quite a number of people that I genuinely dislike and would, under normal circumstances, not go out of my way to spend time with...

I still feel that way now... but we'll see how it is tomorrow...

I went on a date this evening... Well... not really a date... But we pretended... We went down into the river valley for tea and conversation...

There was fog tonight...

I <3 fog...

I suppose the only thing that kept me from falling in love was the fact that the pseudo date was with a boy, and the only reason we called it a date was so that we could talk about it and see the reactions on peoples faces...

I have a new gym buddy... We're gonna do cardio thrice a week... Well... It will be thrice a week once shes feeling a little bit less than death... You know how that whole daeth thing is...

So yes... Say bye bye gut, as cardio is going to be my means of salvation... and we're doing it early in the morning... so it should help my metabolism for the day (I think thats how it works...)

so yes... such is my life so far...

I did a little "other blog" pruning...

Hopefully that will lead to more efficient time wasting (as countless seconds have been spent checking blogs that either don;t exist anymore, or have not been updated since june)...

Wondering Who to Vote For?

Who Should You Vote For?

Asks you you're opinion for a few key topics and then tells you whom you're beliefs most match with...

For fun, post your results in the comments...

And So It Begins

School has started, and after the habitual "changing of classes" that i seem to go through at the start of each semester (I hope I spelled it right this time), I am not ready to venture out into my academic career once again...

Whats the best part of my semeste you ask?

Well...

It would be hard to narrow it down, but if you are burdened with a heavy semester, you may not want to hear this (so I suggest you avert your eyes)....

First, I do not have class on MWF until 3 in the afternoon...

My first (and only class) on MWF is choir...

I do not have any labs for any of my classes...

I do not have any papers for any of my classes...

Two of my classes are rumoured to be easier than choir...

There you have it... Such is my life... but regardless, I need to crack down on ym study habits... which is the plan...

Anyways...

MWF is all clear in the monings/early afternoon, so I was thinking about doing regular board games (some people stopped by today... I was in the middle of another game, but it was fun once I managed to get away)...

So anyone interested should just stop by my room when they have a chance (I'll have my schedual posted on my door in a few days most likely... but like I said, nothing before choir)...

gnight

Sleep

yay for sleep...

I can't imagine ever being able to wake up so ealy without an alarm clock... And to think its all because I went to bed super early...

yes people... I went to bed early!!!

But now im hungry, and the cafe doesnt open for another hour... But Im hungry now...

Argh!!

Anyways...

So I enlisted the help of a conservative supporter in order to hang up an anti conservative sign... I would say pro liberal sign, but it isnt really a pro liberal sign... It pretty much just says "don't vote conservative" in it's own special way. It's hanging from my window, and since most of the people in the school will make treks to the library, past my room, I'm hoping that i will at least have an influence... Or at least piss off some conservative supporters, cuz they dont get to hang up cool signs in their bedroom window...

*sigh*

I'm still very very hungry...

Oh so hungry indeed...

But really, its only been like 2 minutes since the last time I complained about the cafeteria being closed for another hour... It mihgt even be longer... i dont actually know... technically classes don't start till tuesday, so its possible the cafeteria might still be on shortened hours...

Did I mention that I'm hungry?

So...

I'm gonna hook internet up in my room today...

should be fun...

I wont have to come all the way downstairs to check my email or write in my blog... Also, this comp is a mac... And I am illmacerate...

See how witty i am1!! I combined illiterate and mac together to show that i am illiterate in mac technology... bwahahha... I amaze myself sometime...

I'm desperately in need of a good video game fix...

I've been trying to fill my spare time with Sim City 4 and Zoo Tycoon (the only two games I currently own that dont require internet to be enetertaining)... But for whatever resason, they're just not doing it for me...

but I'm not gonna have another symester like the last one...

I would like to say that for every hour of homework i do, im going to allow myself to play one hour of videogames... but most likely it will end up being for every two hours of videogames I play, i will force myself to at least pretend to do homeowrk for ten minutes so i don't need to feel guilty about playing so many video games...

But I will remain optomistic...

My goal is to get grades this symester that rival the ones i got in high school... now I dont think I ever did any work in high school, asides from the tasks that actually required work (exam essays especially) so it shouldn't be too hard for me to do... but I think there should probibly be a little bit of effort on my part....

in a game of jeopardy on my life the $1000 answer would be the reason neal does poorly at college, the question of course being what is a complete lack of effort...

Although i think that has a lot to do with my degree...

Don;t get me wrong, I <3 Chemistry... but not all of it... In fact, there are huge swaths of chemistry that (as proven by my marks) i don; care about in the least... I enjoy organic chem and everything that entails... I enjoy chemical reactions, how they work, why they work... but everything quantitative is... well.. boring as snot...

I like the mindset in my former organic chem classes "continue adding heat slowly until reaction occurs"... Of course, you have to do a little bit of research to find out how the reaction occurs, and then figure out ways to tell that the reaction has occured...

Then in the quantitative classes... Here's a formula... figure out the blah blah blah... and the blah blah blah... then do the blah blah blah... So based on your calculations, how likely is it this laboratory is gonna be of any redeeming value... assides from making it easy to havea nap afterwards... 9although sometimes i'm so angry at being bored for 3-4 hours, that I cannot nap fater my labs)....

Woot... getting closer to the time the cafeteria opens...

have you ever had a COMPLETELY random thought.... And I don;t mean, like you're walking to the kitchen and you think to yourself "I think we're almost out of q-tips"...

I mean COMPLETELY random...

Last night, I was in a half sleep lying on my bed... and then i thought to myself "what kind of a word is 'our'"

Yes yes... I know... this probibly caught a few of you off guard with the randomness et al. but I honestly was, for like 15 or so (sleepy) minutes, thinking how weird 'our' is... and how even more weird it is that I had never noticed how weird 'our' is... and how even more weird it is that i woke up from a sleep to come to the realization that 'our' is a weird word and I had never noticed before...

Gah... Why isnt the cafe open yet...

I think my stomach is starting to digest itself...

So help me god, if they dont open until 11, im going to waste away...

I suppose I shall go and shower...

Oh wait!!!

high School starts today!!!

The cafe has to be open early!!!

That settles it... I shall go shower and then be waiting at the gates for the cafe to open...

I hope they get my eggs right *shakes fist*

So here i am... sitting ina dark office at school... i'm hungry... but hunger requires that i, somehow, manage to find my way to a food producing establishment and trade money for something to satisfy my aching stomach...

I may just have another long nap, and hope the hunger goes away...

So travelling on a plane is so much better than travelling on a bus... I may have made mention to some people about how horrid my trip out to alberta was, but in all truth, I would put up with thirty screaming babies to have the comfort and convenience offered by airplanes... even if theyre an hour late... and the movie is fuzzy...

Dorm is good... It's quiet...

only one new person... Ahmad from syria...

Should be fun... We seem to enjoy having the immigrants in dorm... Hopefully this won't be an exception... Apparently one of his reasons for comming to a canadian school is to find out what the north maerican youth do for fun... Bo is he ever in for a surprise... What with the potluck/Cowboys and Indian s shindig, not to mention the birthdays... bwahahahha

I like having a selection of clothing, as well as not having to live out of a backpack...

My room already needs to be cleaned... its barely been 12 hours, and most of my time has been spent sleeping... but I already need to clean...

I should go and do that...

Adios...

I hate packing so much...

How do you fit a room into a backpack?

how?

Reflections on BC

*Warning Warning*

I may have umm... emitted a clear salty (non-crying) substance... or something... when I was writing this...

You have been warned...

So it should come as no surprise to anyone who reads me blog, we are into the final hours of my time of calling BC home...

So I let it slip a while ago, that I'm a hopeless romantic... You know, what with the fog and everything... I also am a sucker for fond memories... If I was capable of crying (you know how the whole robot/devoid of human emotion thing works) reflecting on all the things I've had that I will be giving up, or have already given up in the years leading up to this big move, would probibly make me do it...

And besides... seems like everyone else had made these shout out feel good / feel bad posts in recent...

Oh... BTW, if you're an E-Town friend, these posts wont refer to you... so don't even bother =P

Anyways... I should also note that there are a lot of memories that i have, but I'm not gonna sit here and write for the next 4 hours... So I may miss things... If you feel its important, just put it in the comments ;)

*cough cough* in no particular order

We've shared a lot of good times, and a heck of a lot of memories. If I said you played a part in my faith today, I'd be lying. You played a HUGE part. Wednesday's homework and tea or countless hours of Mario party or a linoleum floor that never looked as ungreen as it was intended to. Some people say that you're hard to handle, that they don't undestand how to deal with you. None of that is relevant to me, because I've been allowed onto the other side. Whatever defenses you have to keep people from hurting you, I have seen through it. I am truely able to care for you because I can see you care for me. I hope that one day you will see how many people there are that love you, because once you understand that we love you, and why, i think that will be key to understanding how you can love yourself...

We were the two with freaky addiction. Well, i had the freaky addiction, and you danced along (although I'd like to think that enjoyed it... and I'm pretty sure you did... I know how I get with my addictions). I long for the days where we could disappear for hours at a time to the dark corner, only to reappear for a break at orange julius. Although things haven't been the same since I moved to edmonton almost four years ago, I know that we still have a connection, that regardless of how long we may go without saying a word to each other, whenever we're together it will always be like we'd never parted.

It's been almost a year since the last time we talked, and i don't even know if you're reading this. Phone conversations that lasted for hours, sleep overs, and parties. The commute was always a pain, but we endured. We once considered ourselves the best of friends, and so much of what we shared is pivital to who I am today. I grew up because of you, because I so desired to be a part of your life, always expecting that things would work out in the end. I'm sad to say it doesn't look like the're going to be. I believe in part, our friendship was doomed to fail, tainted by myself. I wished every relationship you had would fail, in the hopes that one day you would realize how much I cared for you and tell me how much you cared for me. I truely am sorry.

Seems like only yesterday you we're one of taras youth, running around shooting finger blasters at one Mr Schultz. Back then I envied you, becasue I didnt quite have a faith of my own, or a close group of friends, and you, several years my junior, seemed to have both. It's only recently that I've been able to meet you as a person, rather than as a giggly girl from youth. I can't remember a time when someone threw me a party every time I bought a new pair of shoes, but it seems like we're almost getting to that point. I'm glad that i make you laugh, and i hope that I can continue to make you laugh.

I think you're the one that understands the most. Things are so much different on the other side. Our friendship seems so strained now that we live so close together. I cannot say why, but I know that the friendship we share is true, but we just need to find out how we can make it work in our new environment. You we're my first all night gaming session with a non-family member... And the fact that we had to wait until you're mom was out of town made it feel all the more taboo ;)

If I we're to name one person who understood the gaming aspect of my life, you would be it. I know koreans who claim to be gaming experts who play less video and computer games than you. You opened my world to warcraft, and provided me with the ability to play it... over and over and over... SOmehow I knew it would come to an end, but somehow I figured it would be one of us getting a 9-5 job that would prevent us from playing games until 6am... I forever will be the gutterball champion, the wmw champion, and the master of all things carbonated! You can have DWI, socks, and computer programming...

Honest to god, its 5am in the morning... I'll add more later... If you're absolutely peeved that i forgot you, post a comment,a nd I'll be sure to do you first (I may not get a chance before I get back to edmonton)

New Years; Revisited

So I had this story I was going to share, but due to time constaints, I didnt havea chance to write it out...

After the festivities at the gas station, and long after everyone had gone home, the night got quite quiet...

Occasionally a cab or two would stop in for some gas and some napkins... I can only assume the kind of mess the revellers were leaving in their vehicles (if it looked like our bathroom, I wouldnt be surprised)...

Anyways... It was quiet... and it was POURING rain outside, when in walked a man and a woman from outside...

Now when they opened the door, she was already screaming and having a fit. I've watched enough movies to know that screaming is a very effective distraction should you want to steal something, so I was watching very intently to make sure nothing was being pocketed, and more or less completely ignoring what she was screaming about...

She grabbed a handful of gum packages, threw them at him, and then stormed out of the store...

He, at this time, was now giving me the "can you believe her" look... SHe was outside having a cigarette...

I asked him what was up... and he confessed...

See, they had met at the bar, and through a somewhat lucky mix of drinks and dancing, he had convinced her to head back to his place...

He, being a little drunk, did not pay attention to where the had been dropped off, and the cab had in fact left them at the wrong house, in (I would assume) the wrong neighbourhood...

I feel the need to interject: cloverdale is your typical whitetrash suburbia. All developements built in the same decade look just like every other developement from the same decade... So I can understand, in a drunken state, recognising a random neighbourhood as being your own neighbourhood...

Back to the story...

In his drunken state, he, falsely, claimed to know where they were and how they could easily walk to his place (New years Eve, your chances of phoning a cab company and getting a cab within an hour is slim to none anyways, he told her)... So they set off on foot...

After wandering around aimlessly for some time, he claims to have recognised where he was (again) and that he knew a shortcut through a field that would take them to a street that would lead them to his house...

Apparently it wasnt the right field, because bisecting the field was a LARGE irrigation ditch, which in the dark, and in a drunken state, they ended up trudging through...

At this time, I would like to point out that I could see in the fluoroecent glow of the gas station canopy that her pants (from her shoes to her mid thigh) were stained brown from the mud they had trudged through... I blame the yelling when she was in the store for not noticing it before... But her white jeans... yes, white... were brown.. no... almost black from the mid thigh down... Meaning the ditch the trudged through was most likely 2 feet deep in mud...

He of course, was wearing black pants... but I assume he would look much the same, had he been wearing white as well...

Now, somewhere in the muckey-muck, she dropped her cell phone... SO she wasnt able to call for a cab, or a friend, or a family member...

And so after wandering around in the rain for a while, they stumbled upon the gas station...

With that his story ended...

He asked me to phone her a cab, he bought a pack of cigarettes, and then told me he was going home...

And so he left...

As he was walking towards the street, she yelled a choice few four letter words, to let him know how much she loved him... And he walked away...

Thankfully the cab ended up comming right away... Although, I would have tried to do my best, the situational humour would have been too much for me, and I would not have been able to keep a straight face if she had come in and trieed to turn it into a sob story...

So the moral of the story is... umm...

Well... I guess, don;t hook up with random people at the bar, and then follow them through fields after they realise they don;t know where their house is...

The Morning After New Years

SO it wasnt really the morning... cuz I didnt start work until 2... but today was probibly the most painful shift...

Everyone was hung over... everyone was grumpy... no one had patience for lines or machine malfunctions...

Every other person was using english as a second language, and with their ethanol starved brains, they were uynable to comprehend and ord of the english language with more than 4 letters...

we do not accept air miles at this location...

turned to

we do not accept air miles here

turned to

that card doesnt work here

turned to

card doesnt work

turned to

card bad


I swear... It was actualy kinda funny to watch... My coworker was having one hell of a time... ANd it just wasnt comming through regardless of how he said it...

She just kept trying to hand him the airmiles card...

And both of them were just staring at each other in the end...

SO the moral of the story is...

well... there is no moral...

But on the plus side.. some random person started texting me... It was kinda odd...

Who'da

So...

My first thought was "man? new years at a gast station"

that turned into "yay, my friends are at least comming to keep my company"

which quickly became "how do i entertain them long enough that they stay so I dont get bored"

All in all, it was a good night, I would say... Although i may be guilty of peeing when i shouldnt have, and having far less tsrangers kiss me then I needed... Combined with th fact that i stole my shirt...

For those of you who were there, you understand why the gas station is a coveted hang out for youth...

For those of you who didnt make it out tonight... please don;t tell my boss about my blog... becasue I really don;t want her knowing how much alcohol was consumed last night (and especially how much was consumed by myself)

oh well... I need to work again in 7 hours...

good night...

Leaving a Good Impression

Sooo....

Have you ever wanted a job? Like, yeah, sure, there are lots of jobs out there, but you want one in particular... Maybe cuz its convenient... Say a gas station nearby to your home...

If you want a job, you really need to makea good impression. Even if the person hiring you is not the person who you dropped your resume off to, work might get back to them... and thr ass you made of yourself may afect your ability to get a job...

Point and case... We may not be hiring the girl who dropped off her resume tonight...

She came in at 445am (so towards the end of my shift) to drop of her resume...

It was raining out, so the resume was a little bit wet... by little bit, I mean, almos completely...

She asked if we were hiring, I said I didnt know but I could take her resume and put it in a place my boss would get it...

She proceeded to tell me that she hated the 'bitchy one with the beard' who usually works graveyards (the lady she is reffering to, assides from having a slight facial hair problem, is the best working, friendliest, and most productive employees at petro the store... Complaining about such a person is not recomended... usually it implies you are doing something wrong to make her treat you like a bitch)...

She then proceed to tell me all of the hours she would not be able to work... I stopped listening pretty much after it became a full out schedual rather than just "church on suday mornings, dance on wednesday evenings"...

Then she started talking about how much she had been drinking tongiht... Apprently quite a bit... because she then excused herself to the washrom because she was feeling nauseous...

After comming back from the washroom, she cut me off from serving another customer, to inform me that she wanted to ehar back from my boss as quickly as possible, because she had just been fired from her former Mc.Ployer... Proving that she was a lovely emplyee, who was a real team worker that was never late for a shift...

Some peoples children...

Easy on Me

Thank god for annoying family members...

now I dont have to worry about telling them about not comming back for the summer... as things tend to slip out when you're angry at being harassed

Spaced Out

Why?

Why do I do this to myself...

I hate working in retail... I know I do... well... at least I hate working in retail where normal people can afford to shop...

I want to work at a place where people who have been taught how to behave in public shop... I want to work at a place that people are excited to go to... where shelling out cash for my services is a blessing and not a requitement...

I think I want to work at starbucks...

No one goes to starbucks cause they have to... no one expects to save money at starbucks... everyone walks out of starbucks happy with their purchase and without having annoyed the barista...

Okay... mayeb I lied a bit with that last one...

But regardless...

Today might not have been such a bad day if it wasnt so boring...

I had finished the menial tasks of stocking and sorting and cleaning by about 2 hours into my shift... leaving an additional 6 hours fo rme to stad around and watch dust collect on the counters... so i could clean them again...

And to add insult to injury, the people that came in tonight were FAR from what I would consider intellectuals...

"um... i was umm... wondering... umm you know if... um... you know... umm... you sell oil here?"

Was that even a sentance... seriously... I was barely able to stay focused long enough to follow his pseudo sentance... Combined with the fact that he was standing less than a foot away from the oil display (128 oil containers with everything from 5w20 to 20w50)

Then a lady who just dropped her credit card on the counter and walked away...

She came backa few minutes later... stuttered a few syllables about export a light... and then stood in the candy isle staring at the mike and ikes for a good 15 minutes... (I asked what she was looking at)...

and then theres the guy who pulled into full serve...

I greeted him outside, informed him he was in full serve, that the price was more expensive, and that I would be mroe than willing to pump his gas if he so desired...

He didnt even aknowledge me...

I reiterated, as he got out of his car, that gas was more expensive, i cannot override the price difference, that i would b willing to pump his gas... and then I added that he can also just pull around to one of the other pumps...

he ignored me some more...

I stood there, waiting for him to respond... he just continued like it was any other gas station...

I started explaining the situation a third time and he interrupted me to tell me that i might as well just start the pump (until i give the word, the pump is halted inside) because his wife was already inside waiting to pay...

just then, the passenger door opened, and a lady exited, walked past me, and into the store...

I stared blankly some more...

Then I went inside...

If there was a way for me to tack an extra 10 cents onto his gas, I would have done it...

Oh well...

My feet hurt...

My head hurts...

My stomach is empty...

I think im done writing for the night...

Dropped the bomb...

Thankfully people are not near as dense as my worst fears would have them...

I'm starting to let my secret out... poeple are taking it well...

*phew*

'Excuse Me' Does Not Make You polite

So I'm working today... and I mean really working... (it was so dead so maybe working is a lie... 'really working' is most definately a lie... but I digress)

Anwyays... So I'm earning a pay cheque standing around and occasionally taking money from people...

Then all of a sudden, theres a line of people... SoI'm serving customers (surprise)... In the middle of a transaction I hear a loud, slightly SE asian accent, say "excuse me"... I look up to see a guy kinda half pushing his way past the people in line... I of course, ignore him... If it's not important, he can wait his turn.. if it was important he would have been a little more forceful in his attempt to garnish my attention...

I continue couting the handful of change thats been handed for me (it always seems that right after christmas, more people pay for cigarettes with change from the cars)...

Again I hear "excuse me" followed by "do you have matches"...

So now I know its not important... and although we do have matches, they were not within arms reach, and I would ahve had to temporarily discontinued the transaction I was in to walk over and grab the matches and walk back to hand them to the guy... Now I don;t know about you, but when I'm being served I don't like it when employees drop what they're doing with me in order to serve some beligerant prick... Did I spell beligerant right... i dont think I did...

anyways...

Knowing full well that if I campletely ignore him, he;s just going to continue being an annoying ass, I aknowledge him and say "yes we have matches"... I then go back to counting change...

"excuse me"

I ignore him

"excuse me"

I make eye contact in an 'oh no you didnt' kind of way... and then go back to counting..

"HELLO!?!?! Cna I get some matches?"

I'm thinking 'no' and I'm glaring at him like he;s the biggest asshole to evr step foot in the store... But I don't think he got it...

I finished counting the change...

And I start putting it in the register... coin by coin... every nickel, and every penny individually...

By this time, I thought for sure he would get the message... I mean, there would be no reason to do this unless you were trying to piss someone off... But he just goes back to "excuse me"'s like because I'm in retail I'm obviously mentally difficient, and he's used ot dealing with my sort...

I dunno...

some peoplem are dense..

I ended up giving him a pack of matches I know hada been wet at some point in the day (I accidentally spilled a bit of the water zi was using to clean and a few packs of matches had gotten wet)...

I hope that he didnt get his fix and was too embarassed (or too tired of dealing with my type) to come back inside...

Kinda Like Christmas

As it stands now, we have about 1 hour before I enter back into the wonderful world of retail...

Lets go throught he facts...

People who come through convenience stores are often miserable... their wives are forcing them, their children hate them, their jobs unbearable... The excuses are plentiful... So people come into gas stations/convenience stores, and lo and behold, there are people working at convenience stores who are conveniently there for these people to take out all their stress and anger...

fact two is that we are in a generally disagreeable season... The inlaws are in town, the christmas bonus never came, the eggnog spoiled, the cats knocked over the tree, the kids didnt like their presents, it's rainy and cold... Conveninetly there are people that work at gas stations who are paid to put up with these kinds of problems...

fact number three... all the enw employees know about me... As of yet, I dont know what they know about me... cuz god knows there are a lot of stories to tell... But whenever I phone in and someone new answers the phone I always get a "so you're Neal, eh?"... This means I either have a lot to live up to, or I have a lot to lie about... Cuz really, i don;t want to crush anyones dreams...

I forgot to bring work pants... Which should make this fun...

I do have work shorts... But considering the season they may not function to well...

Although today is warm... And I do like rain... I'll just dibs out on the full serve and focus onreaching whatever targets we need to reach... Although I dont really see the point of reaching the targets... I was one of the best target people over the summer... and I didnt recieve anything from it... Everyone else got a night of drinks and mini golf (or so I hear)... i got nothing...

Last time I try to sell that many slushies on a single day... (a two day quota was met in a 4 hour shift tyvm!!!)

Anyways.... I should get dressed and try to coerce my family into taking me to the mall to do all my christmas shopping...

Reminder

I hate dial-up

I hate aol dial-up

I hate using aol dial-up on a computer that can barely support a modem due to its obvious lack of hardware

I hate using aol dial-up on a computer that can barely support a modem due to its obvious lack of hardware and its overabundance of spyware and viruses

I hate using aol dial-up on a computer that can barely support a modem due to its obvious lack of hardware and its overabundance of spyware and viruses while staring
at a freakishly small screen which has poor colour contrast

I hate using aol dial-up on a computer that can barely support a modem due to its obvious lack of hardware and its overabundance of spyware and viruses while staring
at a freakishly small screen which has poor colour contrast and speakers that are so static filled that you can't tell the difference between Paul Brandt and Pink

I hate...

Im Not Trying to be Ungrateful

There are a few things to be thankful this year…

Last night we had the first Christmas Dinner where there was no fighting… Sure it was only my mom, my step-dad, my brother, my gramma and I… But there was no fighting none the less…

Turns out they finally cut my coke addicted uncle lose… I don’t know how my gramma finally got the courage to do it, but she packed up her things and left him behind…

Of course that didn’t stop him from phoning everyone up to try to make them feel sorry for him…

“Aww poor baby… your life sucks? They cut you off welfare? What a terrible time for these things to happen?”

Am I really expected to make him feel better for the last 23 years of his life he wasted? I hope to god not, because I know for a fact the only reason he’s trying to get attention is so that he can siphon money to get his next hit…

I don’t care what anyone says (and I know some of you are probably thinking I’m being a little harsh) there is no justifiable reason to do heroine/cocaine… Not one!

I don’t care if you have a hard life… I don’t care if you’re predisposition to become addicted… I don’t care if it makes you forget about your problems…

If you take time out of your life in order to put those chemicals in your body the first, you will not gain sympathy from me for any problems that arise from subsequent usage…


On a lighter note, more proof that my family doesn’t know anything about me… A bunch of generic novelty gifts, and some clothing that is far to big for me… And I don’t mean “oh, don’t worry, this’ll shrink in the wash” big I mean “oh dear, where did neal find the circus tent” big…

Some of it is nice though, so I hope they’re not too offended when I ask them to downsize it…

And I did get a nice framed picture of San Francisco… So it’s not all bad…

Oh well… I am gonna go and drink… It is Christmas after all…

Safe Arrival

So I am back in BC, a little worse for wear...

Let me tell you about my bus trip...

I arrived at the bus depot with plenty of time to spare, and stood in line so as to try to get a good seat (ie not beside children)...

The line behind me started to grow, and grow... Eventually making a critical mass... Critical mass in a bus depot is defined as the point where it becomes apparent that there are far more people than bus seats, and an orderly line disintegrates to form a mob of people massed around the ticket kiosk...

but god bless their hearts, those greyhound employees, for an extra $45 you could purchase preferred seating... Merry Christmas, Everyone!!!

For an extra $30 on top of their prefferred seating I could still get a plane out to Vancouver...

And this is regardless of the fact that at this time, I have a ticket which says I am on the 8pm bus leaving from edmonton... There was going to be hell to pay if I didnt make it on that bus... Well... I wasn;t gonna tell them that i had offers for christmas in the city and that it would have been a dissapointment to not make it home, but not a major upset... For all they were gonna know, my dying grammas last wish was for me to be sitting at her deathbed at midnight on Christmas when they pulled the plugs to her respirator...

So they start letting the people who purchased the prefferred seating onto the bus, while the rest of us are shaking our fists angrily...

Then they come up with the bright idea of adding a second bus at the same time... where the second bus came from I have no idea... but it's not 45 minutes after the schedualed departure time, so I can't really say that this whole thing was planned out... I mean, 45 minutes is almost enough time for them to drive in a spare bus from calgary...

Anyways... It's a mad house... And I get the clever idea to act really gay, so as to provide reason for parents not to let their children sit next to me...

This is the second time that acting gay has saved me, the first being that time at montanas when 'man voice' tried to seduce me with jiggly dancing and beer...

But yes... no children sat next to me... thankgod... At this time, both buses are full... But there are still 20 VERY ANGRY people yelling outside the doors of the buses...

I ignored the... I had my seat...

So I played my game boy, and went into and out of reality... When I awoke from my first slumber, I realized that the older asian lady who had sat next to me was caressing my leg...

yes...

caressing...

her eyes were closed... so I think she was 'sleeping' but oh god was it creepy...

in edson I made a dash for the washroom and tim hortons... I used the food as a reason to angle myself slightly more away from the asian lady (switching seats awasnt an option due to the fact that the buses were PACKED)...

i played a little more gameboy, and then had another nap... Woke up again with hr hand on my thigh... Not caressing, and not particularly close to the goods, but creepy nonwe the les...

Scenes of Euro Trip flashed though my head...

I adjusted my seating position, while in the process removing her hand from my leg... And then placd my hand on my leg as a buffer should she start exploring again...

Thankfully she got off at Kamloops...

We almost hit a deer... The bus driver was already meandering in and out of the lines on the pavement as much as I could bare... Maybe he was doing it to keep himself concious... But regardless, we're barelling along when a deer jumps across the road... He brakes very suddenly, and we're all heaved forward...

Then a second deer starts walkin across the road in front of the bus...

He brakes harder, we're now lurching forward, almost skidding... he lays on the horn as the deer appears not to be moving anywhere

Then the third and forth deer jump out of the bushes, startled by the horn...

We're still trying to stop...

Then a handful more deer go running... We are not able to come to a complete stop, ad they're all across the road... They're probibly thinking "pedestrians have the ROW, idiot"...

Oh... did I mention that there were a few crying babies... They didnt go for the whole trip... but they were there...

And a mentaly disabled person who felt the need to tell me his life story... but he needed to tell every thing in triplicate

"did I.. Did i tell you... Did I tell you about... tell you about the did I tell you about the time I..."

Doesnt make for a captivating story...

Or the old guy who smoked a cigarette at EVERY STOP!

spruce grove, wabamun, entwistle, ninton, edson, obed, hinton, jasper, valemont etc etc etc...

And he was smoking every time with the bus driver... so it wasn't like there was gonna be a threat "stop smoking so much or we'll leave you behind at the next stop"

I cannot believe there as enough room on the bus to store that many cigarettes

So in conclusion...

No more bus for me ever...

Now Im gonna go play in the heavy rain...

I missed rain!

Next Christmas...

... you're all comming to edmonton, and not the other way around...

Yay!!

Thank god for seat sales and noticing them early...

I will not have to bus back to edmonton... And for those of you who have taken the 15 hour bus ride from edmonton to vancouver, you will understand why this is a good thing...

came to the realization that i am not going to have a lot of free time in the 12 days I am home... What with work and friends and wedding of friend (speaking of which... I should probibly buy a wedding present eh?) combined with family and holidays and more work (Im working a 12 hours new years eve shift... check back here for stories for sure...

I also need to petition my church for mission trip money... i hate petitioning... Especially since I've been there so little in the last 4 years...

"Hi everybody... half of you don;t know me because I've been gone for far longer than you've been comming here... but how would you like to give me money so I can go on a trip that you know nothing about!!!"

Yes.. thats sounds great...

Not to mention that I will only be in town for 1 sunday (yes... 1 sunday) so my new speech will have to sound something like this:

"Hi everybody... half of you don;t know me because I've been gone for far longer than you've been comming here... but how would you like to give me money so I can go on a trip that you know nothing about!!! Oh, and if you could all write your cheques now that would be great cuz I hae no interest in staying here any longer than I have to, but i need the money before I go back to Edmonton"

I have no problem paying for the trip out of my own pocket... But there seems to be this idea that i have to put in an effort to fundraise... I mean i can't let the team down... or something...

Somehow the cohesiveness of the team is based solely on my ability to syphon money from my home congregation...

Don't they realize how good Zion has been to me in the past, and how long I've been gone?

Really, it's like beating a gift horse... I know some of you from zion are thinking "but we <3 you neal" but it still remains the case that i have lived in edmonton for 4 years now and don;t havea church i would consider my home congregation here yet...

Oh well...

Maybe I'll just make up names and donations... Don't be surprised if you get a tax deductable receipt in the mail... maybe I'll make those some surprise X-Mas presents... A month later "hey lookie here... I get another $20 off my taxes this year!!"

They cut off internet from my room yesterday...

That makes me sad... i <3 my internet games so much... perhaps too much...

Oh well... I'm not going to complain about it anymore cuz theres nothing to be done and I do leave in a few hours...

I think I'm going to hire poor students to clean my room every so often next symester... They like money, and I like not having to clean...

plus they do a more efficient job than me...

Here's an example of them cleaning:

"this is garbage... this is garbage... this is garbage... this is clothing... *fold fold fold*.... this is garbage... this is boardgame... *stack*..."

this is me cleaning:

"this is... aww i remember that night... so much fun!... i should email her and ask her how she's doing... i wonder if anyone has posted anything on skyscraperpage.... wait... back to cleaning... this is boardgame... I havent played this game ina month... I wonder if anyone wants to play.... *goes three rooms down* annyone wanna play??? sure.... I'll explain it to you.... (hours go by).... okay... abck to cleaning... garba... wait... aww... this isn't garbage... i used to really like this... how did it get broken... I wonder if I can fix it... *tries fixing it*.... that didnt work... i better blog about my day... *blogs*... i wonder if anyones on nexopia... nope... better leave a bunch of random messages on peoples accounts... oh someones hre? sure I'll go ou for lunch..."

coincidentally... this is also the proceedure for studying for exams...

We have two new potential dormies next symester for guys dorm... Its exciting... one from saskatchewan... And one from Syria...

I was reading through their dorm applications... they seem nice enough...

Apparently the one from syria always says the same thing when he phones (according to my boss)

"Greetings from Damascus"

The one from Sask should fit in pretty well,,, He plays badminton... I think every guy in dorm plays badminton (except me of course... eww physical exertion)...

The syrian will be the new immigrant... Immigrants are always fun... Ilike when they try to adjust to canadian culture... until they learn there isnt really culture... just be polite, and you fit in...

That seems to be one of the things people from out of Canada seem to notice... A lot of people do not have english as their first language... Sure its a little skewed living in dorm... there a re a lot of international students... But I think I'm starting to speak a little bit of engrish as well...

I heard a really funny racist against natives joke today... But it requires being able to hear it... So remind me about it... The way to remember is "passionate" that should remind me...

I thinkn I'm going to try to find someone to go out for lunch with today...

Everyone seems so busy though... So I'm not too sure how this is gonna work... If you're reading this,a dn thinking to yourself "i know an exotic restaurant that neals never been to and would like to go to lunch today" give me a call.. of course locals only please... I'm not in surrey yet...

Such is my life...

I <3 starbucks... I think I want to live next to a starbucks next year... so that i can work part time as a barista...

That would be wicked cool... very wicked cool...

And then I could have all of my starbbucks customers who i run into on street corners and they'll all be like "arent you that hawtt guy that works at starbucks" and I can be all like "oh yeah... youre tall low-fat 3 pump vanilla latte girl, arent you" then we'll laugh and date and get married...

Hmm... maybe I should go have a nap,,,

Cajun Cuisine

So tonight I went out for cajun food with some friends...

The name on the outside of the building was Cilantros... I was expecting fancy Itallian... or maybe Mexican... I am no food expert, so Cilantro doesnt stir the imagination... But it looked class enough, and I decided tyhe other day that I would like to eat there...

I entered the restaurant with my aforementioned friends, to find that the name on the menu is Louisiana Purchase... And that all of my hopes, dreams, and desires that were directed to a nice italian dinner would now be directed to a food type classified by a bunch of words that I can't even begin to say properly...

Needless to say, I looked through the descriptions of food until I recognised animals that I would normally enjoy eating...

Alligator? nope
Catfish? nope
Mussels? nope
chicken? chicken is safe and non-offensive... chicken it is...

And so I settled on the blackened pepper chicken with chilli sauce served with steamed vegetables...

I'm kinda sorry that i didnt get the alligator... Cuz the chicken was really good, and more or less as soon as I realised how good it wasm i wanted to try something else...

Yes yes, I have commitment issues... Sue me...

Food was so good I ended up ordering dessert...

I wish I hadn't...

I ordered the bread pudding with butter-rum sauce...

I got rasins with ass-rum sauce and a side of warm soggy bread....

I like talking about food... I wish I could be a paid food critic... but then again, I would probibly have to be accountable for the things I say.. . And then i'd probibly change my mind about the pudding when i found out that the chef is a 500lb body builder with biceps as large as my waist...

So two things...

Some people need to learn that the things that they do with their girlfriends/boyfriends need to stay private =P

I must confess, sometimes I'm guilty of the TMI moments... But really... eww eww gross eww shut-up eww gross!!!

I think some people think I'm joking when I make the gag face... I actually throw up a little each time...

Sure sure, whatever you do in a concensual loving matter is right and beatiful and blah blah blah... But honest to god, do you need to tell me?

probibly not eh?

Oh well... my venting of the day...

Oh... and I think new years is gonna be entertaining... spread the news, neals working at the petro can..

party it up people...

just make sure you bring a DD...

Yuppie

Ever heard of the term Yuppie? [(yp)]

Ever wondered what it meant?

Well, officially, its an acronym meaning "young urban professional" with pie added to the end... They are the echo-boomers, the offspring of the baby boomers... But more specifically they are the well dressed officeworkers who you see at sushi bars talking about the latestest artistic movies...

I had the privilage to eat at a Yuppie restaurant yesterday...

And by yuppie, I do mean pretentious, self-absorbed, and pseudo-evironmentalist

I had the free-range chicken stuffed with organic basil and pomegrnats...

I also had earle gray tea made with life water... bottled water where the profits go to fund providing clean drinking water to third world countries...

My company had the portabello mushroom served with something or other... It looked yummy... but it was mushroom...

For dessert, she had the amaretto creme caramel and I had the chocolate from the east (chocolate pie imbued with coconut and lychee)

The sizes appeares severely small... But we we're pleasantly surprised that it cost a simple $49 for the casual lunch...

The atmostphere was so fake... The food was good... but fake... I really don;t care that my chicken was free range... and I dont care that my pomegranats didn't get doused with chemicals before they were put on my plate...

But other than that, It was an enjoyable experience...

A Few More Days

It's only a few more days before I go back to Surrey...

Tomorrow I have nothing planned... so I'm hoping things will happen...

Well, I have coffee in the morning (which is why Im wiritng this now instead of at 430 like I normally do)...

Other than that, there is nothing planned...

I'll probibly convince some friends to come play board games...

The high school kids have been playing a lot of board games the last few nights...

Monopoly and Risk!!!

EWW RISK!!!

I don't mean to offend anyone, but my opinion of you drops exponentially based on your enjoyment of risk...

And heaven forbid you say something stupid like

"[amazingly well balanced and entertaining game] is good but risk is better"

Anyone has said that and walked away from me unscathed is lucky to be alive...

Way worse than that time MattyK called Squee 'the bear'...

Oh, and by the way, Odesa and others, when you make those jokes about games being "just like monopoly" or "just like risk" or "just like a cross between risk and monopoly"... I laugh and pretend I'm in on the joke... But really, I'm thinking "how much of an inconvenience woulld it be for me to socially detatch myself from you for the next quater decade?"

Anyways...

I should head to bed... I'm getting sleepy (oh god... Im getting sleepy... just like the infidels i make fun of mercilessly)

Is It Wrong to be Sad?

I miss my dormies...

Oh well...

Today was a good day... I helped out with Santas Anonymous... Think non-profit organization intended on making less fortunate families have a present induced Merry Christmas...

We joined in with several hundred other do-gooders, lining up outside the warehouse which temperarily houses the Santas Anon. presents and staff...

I learned VERY quickly four important things...

1) At -20C, it is important to wear gloves

2) At -20C, it is very important to wear a touque

3) At -20C, it is very important to not think that "a long sleeve shirt will be warm enough"

4) At -20C, sandals are NOT appropriate

So needless to say, I looked a little out of place... You could spot me in the crowd very quickly...

I was the one jumping up and down and rubbing every appendage together so that I might prevent them from freezing and falling off...

The line moved quite quickly... Usually when you get that cold, time slows down, as a funny way for God to say "Clothing was invented for a reason"... Oh wait... the snake... Does that mean there wasn't snow in the garden of eden? I suppose that would make sense... Then are clothes a tool of Satan? I knew my lack of underwear had scriptural support...

I digress...

We signed up to delived bags of presents to 20 households... Not a small undertaking, especially when you consider that carrying four of the bags out to the van almost killed me...

And by killed me, I do mean that some of the children might get dented boxes cuz theres no way in hell my arms were gonna let me carry those bags all the way to the car in one go...

About half way back, my left arm was just like "screw you buddy, you can do this yourself"...

Anyways... After getting chased through the parking lot a little bit (not an important story, really), we were off in order to start delivering the gifts...

Some houses were really good... You give them to the mom or dad and they're so thankful and what with ll the "merry christmas"'s and the "god bless"'s... But then some houses, the kids would answer...

And I'd be standing there thinking to myself "okay... two options... I can hand this kid the bag, he might look inside, realize what these are, realize there isn't a santa, become jaded and depressed, bottle it up inside, and kill 30 people in a postal shootout when he turns 34 OR I could turn around with the bag and run to the van...

Of course I always chose the postal shootout option, but there was always that half second of contemplation...

Oh... And this is your warning... There may be a rash of shootouts at edmonton post offices in 25-30 years....

After delivering about 4 bags, we decided we needed a break, and went for lunch... Which ended up being soup... Which endedup being appetizers and soup... Which ended up being appetizers soup and sandwiches... Which ended up ebing appetizers, soup, sandwiches, and tea... Which ended up being appetizers, soup, sandwiches, tea and a board game...

So... Now the days almost over, and we still have a van full of presents to deliver...

Needless to say, we kicked it into high gear, and got them out as fast as we could...

I then came back to dorm and have veg'ed out every since...

I miss my dormies...

Symester is Done

So I finished all of my exams, all of my assignments and I am now free for the winter break...

Sorta...

It kinda dawned on me at dinner time just how boring this next week is gonna be...

There is NO ONE here...

Well, theres the high school kids, and they're all fun and stuff, but they have curfews and studyhours, and school...

So that leaves me, Holly and some of my friends who live in edmonton (but who will probibly be too busy to come and play with me

='(

So I will probibly be blogging a lot, and most of it will be about how bored I am and about how you should all come visit me...

Although I am aware of several people who plan on stopping by in the next week to game it up!!!

Thats something to be excited about...

On the plus side, my room is starting to look slightly more presentable.... By presentable, I do of course mean that I can see parts of the floor and there is little to no stickiness on any of the surfaces around my room...

And the smell is gone....

I still have no idea what the heck the smell was, but god was it putrid...

I tore my room apart looking for the source, to no avail...

But regardless, its gone...

I'm getting tired of the cold weather... Some days I just don;t feel like socks, but apparently sandles arent supposed to be an option... The two minutes it takes to walk to the library can be quite painful when its windy...

Theres supposed to be fog tonight... That might be enough to convince me to wake up early tomorrow...

I love fog in the river valley... You know how some people like sunsets on the beach? and some like sunrises in the prairies?

I <3 Fog in a winter forest...

Eat it up girls, this is the closest I'll ever get to admitting I'm a hopeless romantic...

Almost as good as a starry night on the bluff overlooking downtown... That is enough to give me wet dreams at night...

I havent made the trek out to the bluff in a long while... I suppose its ssafe to say that school, videogames and hermit-ness have taken over my life (not necessarily in that order of course)...

My glasses are still mangled to hell...

I have been meaning to go and get them fixed ever since that incident where I dropped them under the desk, stepped on them, popped the lenses out, and bent the arm almost completely back...

but I managed to get them mangled into a semi-respectable looking fashion... which is good enough for me I guess...

Dan left today, I think MattyK is leaving really soon... That makes me sad... They're like little brothers... And I have a gross feeling in my stomache like they're going off to war, and I'll never see them again....

Jenn understands, really she does... Going home-home is bitter sweet... You get to return back to your life, whats comfortable and known... But you have to leave so much behind...

I mean, it's not that I don't like being in BC, and I miss Zion terribly, but I spend 8 months a year building friendships and relationships here as well...

And as much as I'd hate to admit it, I'm a different person here... I think Jenn can attest... (it's really convenient having Jenn around btw... she verifies all the stories so no one can accuse me of lying... and as we all know, some of my stories sound pretty outlandish)...

Anyways... I think I like the person I am here... Sure I'm still typical college student trying to find and define myself, but I've made progress towards a goal...

But when I'm back, I can revert back to the old me, and its so much easier...

I hope that i'm not completely two faced... and that the person I'm becommming out here is present in BC...

Ugh... this rant is getting stupider and stupider...

I think I'm going to lie down and havea nap...

gnight

My Darkest Secret

> Take'>http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=38">Take this quiz at Your darkest secret is: You stole a homeless person's gloves http://www.quizgalaxy.com/result_images/shh.jpg">

Definition of a Heart Attack

Heart Attack: noun

starying up all night to study for an exam; lying down to review some equations which you know fairly well, but you justw ant to be sure you completely recognise and know how to manipulate in case they are given to you in a weird from on the exam...

and then WAKING UP!!! right before your exam...

I AM THE KING OF POINTLESS POSTS!!!

I Am!

I am godd to the peons of dorm...

My level of slackedness has reached epic proportions...

In a thousand years, grandfathers will tell their children stories about my life...

Feel free to worship me in your own special way...

Exams

BAH!!!

Okay, i know pretty much everything that I need to know for the exam tonight....

Hendersson-Hasselbach, so help me god, if I find out where you two are buried I'm going to dance on your grave...

Wish me luck, I think I might just pass =P

Who?

Just a roll call:

Who is here simply for the sake of procrastination (I know I don't want to study any more)?

leave a comment... And maybe a funny anecdote

[Insert Prophetic Revelation Here]

So today has thusfar been as productive as anything else...

And by anything else, I mean absolutely nothing...

I have done nothing...

And by nothing I do of course mean that this is the most thought provolking thing I've done all day...

I went to starbucks this morning, and ordered my summer frappaccino drink... The barista seemed as confused as always, but it ended up tasting alright (even if the mocha drizzle was underneath the whipcream... honestly, who drizzles chocolate under the whip cream... really)

Anyways...

Saw a guy with his pants pulled up to his armpits... He wasn't as old as people normally are when they do that...

Well.. Actually, this is second hand information, as the person who I went out for coffee with is the one who notices the pant/armpitness... I turned around just in time to see that he didnt look old enough to be dressing like an old guy... but not to actually witness the pants (damn you service bar, damn you to hell!!!)

Then we got into the issue of 'Mom Jeans' a skit/faux commercial from SNL that made me almost die laughing once upon a time...

Mom Jeans

So despite having a completely unproductive day (damn do I ever have a lot of these) I did relearn my love of Sim City 4...

Now before you all think "OMG he's gonna revert back into angry hermit neal" just know that Sim City is not as intensive as the other games I play, and can be saved and quit at any time...

So I shouldnt have too many excuses for being a jerkface...

But so help me god, if you interrupt me in a game of DotA you WILL suffer the concequences...

Umm...

So I need to go to greyhound and make sure that i can make it home for christmas... Should be fun...

I think thats about everything that has been happening in my life...

Like I said, completely unproductive...

20,000 page views!

Thats right!

20,000 page views...

What a way to measure self worth!!!

Bad Mood

So, what is it about finally being in a good, non-depressed, mood that makes everyone feel the need to tell you that you've been in a terrible mood for such a long time before...

I mean, now that I am in a good mood (which might not last due to finals and all) I can look back over the last three weeks and be like "yup... I'm an ass"...

But everyone seems the need to tell me, like it is the most secretive thing in the entire world...

"neal... did uh... you know... uh that uh... you were in a terrible mood the last week or so?

Yes... yes I do... Because there were 15 other people lined up before you to tell me the exact same thing...

And kudos to the people who tried to cheer me up... I think the advent calender is what did it... I <3 Chocolate...

So yes... Neal => Good Mood... Don;t mess it up by giving me bad news or telling me that I'm grumpy, lest you want another 3 weeks of the grinch....

Today is my first final... Scary thought...

I should really be studying right now... but you know...

Study?

Write in blog?

Study??

Write in blog??

Study?!?!

Write in blog!!!

And here we have it...

It saddens me that we are almost done the symester... I like living in dorm, but the guys will be moving out soon (for winter beak) and I will be left here all to my lonesome self... Well... with the high school kids anyways...

Not that they're much fun... Especially Allen... He's such a jerkface...

I'll probibly just end up drinking a heck of a lot of coffee... and monitoring a lot of study hours...

If anyone lives in the edmonton area and will be here for the week preceeding christmas, feel free to stop by for board games... Lots and lots of boardgames...

Pedrhaps I'll even make espresso.... i havent used that espresso machine in the longest time...

Hmm, I'm rambling now... I think it's been a while since I blog rambled... I'm sure you all missed it to death... what with my random jumping for boring topic to even more boring topic... the best of course being when I realise Im rambling and then make paragraph aknowledgements to my rambling ways....

Oh!

So we went to a pool hall/sports bar yesterday for my friends birthday...

I have an exam today... So I didnt drink much at all (two drinks and I switched to pop... arent you proud!!!)

ANyways... THey were playing pool... most of them were playing better with drinks than I can without them... but thats besides the point....

The the birthday girl decides that since I'm not playing, that we should spice things up a bit... Next thing you know everytime the birthday girl or her teammate sinks a ball, I have to remove an article of clothing...

Oh... And I was wearing sandles... So I couldnt even use socks as a buffer...

*sigh*

the game of course ended very quickly after I refused to take off any more clothing...

And such is the life of me

Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangster

So this post is completely of the copy and paste variety... So just so that there isn't any type of miunderstanding, none of the words (other than this preamble) are of my own thought. Neither are the images. They have been taken, more or less directly (to avoid bandwidth problems, I'm hosting them on my own PBucket account), from the Nexopia page of DaveCoulier. I thought these were amazingly funny, and needed to be shared with the world...

Enjoy (I know Share will)

"Tired of being a no-body? Tired of nobody taking you seriously because you're just a nice boy?



With these easy steps you can become a bad ass gangster like Fiddy Cent and Tu Pac (No folks, Tu Pac is not a Pokemon, he is apparantly a "gangster") Follow these steps and you will find yourself barking at the bro's dat be hittin on yo hoe's.

Step Wizzle
-Find yo-self a purr of CLEAN boxer briefs (yo not gonna scare da kids wit a buncha skids) and place them on yo head wit da ass end towards da front of yo face




Step Tizzle
-Grab an elastic band and tie the legs of the drawers tight around yo head so it hangs out the back. Now you have yo own bad ass doo-rag





Step Tree
-Y'all need a bit of dental work hurr. Who ever said that chocolate is bad fo yo teef






Step Fo'
-et yo ass to da local Shoppers Drug Mart and find yo-self some bandaids. This can be used to cover up yo acne or hairy ass mole that people may not find vurry threating





Step Fizzle
-Y'all don't want too many bandaids on yo face otha wise y'all look like ya'll been losin da fights not popping some caps in otha gangsta's asses. Now I recomend that y'all axe yo dad fo some electrical tape for any remaining acne or moles




Step Sizzle
-Y'all gotta get yo daddies watch and attach it to yo neclace so you got some bling bling. Gangstas love to know what time it is and love lookin at thurr chests to check da time. If y'all really want something special, get yo old ass Boy Scout uniform outta the closet and get yo gold chain and wear dat as yo bling bling





Step Sezzle
- Finally y'all need a bad ass Gat. Now, wit da gun registries and all it may be hard to get one, but you can use any ol' gun round da house for dis. I found dis ol' water pistol and all y'all gotsta do is tell da G's you got vinegar loaded in dis gat and y'all will bust a cap in thurr eye's




Now dat is how y'all become a gangsta like me. Hope y'all payed attention hurr today. I'll be seein y'all on da streets. Payce"

As I said, not my own idea, and I will not try to pass it off as such... They belong to the person under the profile name DaveCoulier on Nexopia

Types of Drinking

So there are various types of drinkers in the world, and I'm not talking about heavy drinkers, social drinkers, or alcoholics...

I'm talking the personality types of people who drink...

Last night, I was on duty... So I didn't get to partake in the evenings festivities... But I was still awake when the guys came home, and we were exposed to every type of drinker imaginable...

For you're amusement, and mine, let me run over the different types of personalities that we're present yesterday...

Philosopher: Insists on speaking in a manner of "higher" intellect... "higher" is in brackets due to the fact that stumbling through words you heard once on Dawsons Creek to the point that you can barely make coherent sentance, does not constitute higher inteleect... Also, arguing in circles and talking in metaphores should be avoided, especially when drunk, if you want to appear smarter than you actually are...

Crier: Every hardship in life culminates into this one evening... Your parents don't love you? start crying... You're not doing as well in your classes as you could be? cry harder... Someone stole you're favourite christmas pencile in grade 2? start sobbing uncontrollably...

Regretter: This is the person who, upon waking up in the morning, is thinking "oh god... I hope everyone else was aas drunk as I was"... Can someone say damage control?

Fighter: This person instantly thinks that at the slightest turn in a conversation, or a sudden body movement, is instigation for a fight... Usually this person usually has a vein that pops from their head every time someone doesnt agree with them wholeheartidly

Questioner: By far the one I dislike the least... This person asks STUPID questions... repeatidly! "Do you think I'm drunk? I don't think I'm drunk... but do you think I am?... How much do you think I had to drink tonight... I think I drank a lot, but how much do you think I drank?" ad infinitum... Usually these people are really hard to get into their beds because they question wether they are really drunk, or if they're just wanting to play videogames or if they're hungary... They will usually ask you if any of these conditions apply...

Puker: Everyone knows one of these... As soon as the rye, tequila, gin, amaretto, schnoppes, and the beer mix, it isn't staying down... Do they ever learn? Nope... Do they ever clean up after themselves (apparently not)

Slut: You know the type; as soon as they have a shot of vodka, theres a party in their pants and everyones invited...

Mr.Cheerful: Happy happy happy! (makes me nauseous nauseous nauseous) Honestly, I'm glad that you've been drinking, really I am, but I don;t need to hear about all the things I should be happy about from a drunk person... Especially not at 4am when you're waking up the other dormmates...

I think that about covers the people I'm getting used to dealing with...

Coincidentally

Just when the cold dark season looms overhead, and the stress starts to over come me, I'm reminded about how great my friends are...

Your kind words are very much appreciated

A Concertful Weekend

So this weekend was the OCncordia Christmas Concert...

By all accounts it was a huge success, and the feedback has been mostly positive (I apologise for everyone who had to sit through the 20 minute community chorus song with the 5 minute amen ending... I apologise even more for those of you who sat through it twice)...

Thats all fine and dandy, but the fact remains, this is not the reason I am writing...

You see, something of interest happened at the concert...

The show started at 730, and relatively proptly... By the time we were into the first community chorus song, the show had been running for more than a few minutes...

The community chorus sits in the upper balcany (there are far too many to seat them all up at the front of the church)... It's kinda hard to understand if you've never been to McDougal, but take my word for it... The place where the community chorus is hard for the audience to see, but very easy for those of u sitting on the front stage to see)

Anyways, in walks a slightly confused looking man, wearing (from my distant view) a hobo looking jacket, jeans, and a bright red shirt...

He paces around the church during the songs for a bit, looking lost and helpless, carrying a plastic grocery bag with god only knows what inside...

He ends up in the upper balcany, whist the community chorus sings away...

I'm think "SECURITY!!!!!!" but I simply sit and stare as the scene before me unfolds...

The man meanders around a little bit, looking ever more puzzled by his current situation...

He paces back and forth a few times, walks up and down the balcany stairs a few times...

Then he sets his bag down on a pew, and reaches inside, pulling out a few crumpled pieces of paper...

He now shuffles in close to the soprano section of the choir (while in mid song)...

Staring intently at the paper he begins to mouth words which bear no resemblance to the words being sung...

He shifts between lloking at the paper and looing in the direction of the conductor.... Looking confused still...

He returns to his bag... Pulls out more paper...

The song ends...

He wanders around the choir... Finally finding a seat in the tenor section....

For the rest of the concert he proceeds to stare at pieces of paper he pulls from his grocery bag like they are the most inteeresting thing in the entire world....

I was breaking out into hysterics up until this point... I, honest to god, thought some random person had just wandered in and tried to join the choir...

But I have the truth, as told to me by a friend...

Turns out the guy is a music student at my school who needs choir participation in order to pass his class... He seemed to think that not going to any of the rehersals, and showing up late for a concert would somehow equate to him getting credit for the choir...

Conversations

Soooo...

when you talk to your mom... does it sound like this?


12/3/2005
4:20:58 PM
sandra

neal

12/3/2005
4:31:51 PM
Neal

yes?

12/3/2005
4:33:19 PM
sandra

how is school going

12/3/2005
4:33:34 PM
Neal

meh

12/3/2005
4:33:36 PM
Neal

almost finished

12/3/2005
4:34:28 PM
sandra

so any fattys get out there

12/3/2005
4:34:37 PM
Neal

what?

12/3/2005
4:35:22 PM
sandra

u know fat women (fattys)

12/3/2005
4:35:32 PM
Neal

uh huh...

12/3/2005
4:35:37 PM
Neal

yes...

12/3/2005
4:36:26 PM
sandra

so its slim pickens