So, Im lying in bed this morning, thinking "Whats the easiest way to piss myself off"... Well, not really, but I was thinking... And thats the part that annoys me, I can't turn off my brain, and its driving me nuts...
"you're so stupid" it yells me...
"why didn't you do this sooner" another voice pipes in...
"guys, back off and leave him alone, it's my turn to torment him" shouts a third...
If I wasn't so certain that these voices are caused by stress and sleep deprivation, I would be certain I was developing some severe schizo tendencies...
But alas, I have no one to blame but myself for this awful predicament I am in... Since when did I become this lazy... And I mean really, Ive reached new levels of laziness that are beyond comparison to any level of laziness I have ever achieved in my lazy past...
Really, I'm putting vegtables in hospital beds to shame, at least they have to struggle to breath (perhaps the ones on repirators are lazier to me, but I'm thinking it takes a lack of laziness in order to learn how to talk through blinking...)
So as it sits now, if I refrain from sleeping for the next three weeks, I will be able to pass all my classes... It wouldn't be the first time, trust me...
But I've reached a point where it doesn't really matter, cuz insofar as sleeping goes, I prefer it over essay writing any day of the week...
Perhaps my professors will understand my plight?
lol
I kid myself...
Im beginning to think that professors are heartless beasts...
I recieved a lecture from one of my profs when I prayed for focus... Perhaps hes on to me...
Usually professors don't realise I haven't a clue until after they grade my papers...
At least I wont be accused of being a female-hater this time around...
Swear to god, if my Chem teacher tells me I hate polyester im gonna smack him upside the head... Im so fed up with the polyester paper that its not even funny... I can regurgitate all the information necissary to complete it... polyester is the result of esterfication of dimethyl terephthalate with ethylene glycol at 240C to give bis-(2-hydroxyethyl)terephthalate and methanol, followed by an increase in temperature to 270C causing polymerization via self esterfication resulting in poly(ethylene terephthalate) and ethylene glycol... Throw in a few diagrams, the uses for polyester, the manufacturing companies and the amounts the produce and voila, a ten apge paper... Problem? I don't have valid reference material...
9/10 pages I've found have a littl tagline at the bottom stating "such and such is not responsible for any inacurate information found on this site"
Whens the last time you read a textbook that said "by the way, anything you read in this book may not be true, but hey, you can't sue us! mwahahahah"
It doesn't happen...
Needless to say, Im contemplating just using the retarded references simply for the ability to have the paper done...
Ugh, I hate this so much...
Oh and everyone else around is stressing out...
Well, minus a few friends...
Speaking of which, I'm getting quite happy with the calibre of friends I'm managing to pull off... If only they knew how horrible of a person I really am :)
In all seriousness, I think I'm gaining my new friends at the expense of my old ones... Not that this is a concious choice, but the new friends are around a lot more... By that I mean, we have more social connections that lead us to hang out more... And Im beginning to think that because the new friends are so accessable, the old ones are hitting the back burner...
Oh well, not a whole lot I can do about that right now, unless one of them would like to complete this fricken polyester report for me...
It would be big points on the Neal favouritism scale...
*sigh*
I'm not really sure what else there is to say...
Oh, about my recently aquired addiction...
I love it so much... I'm not sure if its the nicotine or the deprivation of oxygen caused by inhaling carbon monoxide/dioxide, but the feeling after a cigarette is amazing... Health risks aside, I think smoking is right up there with body modifications...
Oh!
Good news, my Petro Can boss called me, and asked if I wanted to work over winter break!
Saweet!
I hope I get lots of stat days!
Not to mention, I should have lots f great stories for over the break...
Anyways, I should really be getting to bed, its oh so very late... gnight!
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
So
Setting things straight is ending up being a lot more fun than I thought it would!
Yay!!
On the plus side, Ive started smoking...
I suppose thats not really a plus... I hate smoking... I really do... But it's oh so good...
Hopefully this is something I can forget about really soon, but for now I need to find a way to get me a pack of my own... I need to stop mooching...
*Sigh*
Yay!!
On the plus side, Ive started smoking...
I suppose thats not really a plus... I hate smoking... I really do... But it's oh so good...
Hopefully this is something I can forget about really soon, but for now I need to find a way to get me a pack of my own... I need to stop mooching...
*Sigh*
Monday, November 22, 2004
November
/sappy rant on
Well, it's been a long time comming...
To say that novembers suck would be an understatement... Pretty much everything I do focuses around my inability to do anything productive.
November Blahs; my archenemy... well actually, my figurative archenemy, as I have to many literal ones...
I think I am less pleasant to be around in November, as I am finding myself complaining more... I know what youre all saying- "he has a higher level of complaining?"
I kid you not, I'm even noticing how much I'm over complaining... Even this post is a complaint... Oh woe is me!
I suppose things should get better now, I mean all I have left to do is a couple of papers, a few exams, a crapload of concerts, and aid a friend with her capstone...
Not to mention maintaining the social aquaintances I have made in the last few weeks... I'm trying to ween myself off of the computer as much as I can... It's not going as well as I would have hoped, but I'm doing better... Mayhaps that had more to do with Seussical (a musical about seuss, for those not in the know)... I was the antagonist... mwahaha... typecasting I know, but I digress...
I look forward to going home, not so much the going home part now-- I feel quite indifferent about my returning back to Vancouver for the time being... don't get me wrong, I look forward to all y friends and stuff... heck I'm even looking forward a bit to working at petro can... how sad is that-- but I am looking forward to being able to look back on these last three months with some perspective...
Without getting into to much detail, I've really screwed somethings up... Other things have turned out a million times better than I ever could have hoped... I just wish I hadn't hurt so many people in the process...
They don't seem to hate me, thats for sure, perhaps they're enacting revenge in some sadistic way I dont understand... That would certainly explain why the cafeteria food was so awful this weekend... Or perhaps some miniature voodoo neal doll would explain why ears, knees, nostrils, hands and thumbnails were so easy to bleed this last weekend...
Regardless, I wish I could say I am simply going to wave my hand and everything will revert back to the way it was-- heck, take me back to last december, and let me try it all over again...
But then again, I did say that i like the way some things have turned out, and it would be selfish to revert everything...
Meh!
Okay, so this is it.... Everyone who is reading this, this is the point at which I change... When I look back at my year during that 'sit and ponder' part of New years, I will reflect back to this point as the time when I started to become the person I wanted to be...
No longer will I sit idley by and accept the person dictated for to me... I'm gonna make certain things right; be honest and truthful...
If thats what it's gonna take... hoo-wee Im gonna do it...
/sappy rant off
Well, it's been a long time comming...
To say that novembers suck would be an understatement... Pretty much everything I do focuses around my inability to do anything productive.
November Blahs; my archenemy... well actually, my figurative archenemy, as I have to many literal ones...
I think I am less pleasant to be around in November, as I am finding myself complaining more... I know what youre all saying- "he has a higher level of complaining?"
I kid you not, I'm even noticing how much I'm over complaining... Even this post is a complaint... Oh woe is me!
I suppose things should get better now, I mean all I have left to do is a couple of papers, a few exams, a crapload of concerts, and aid a friend with her capstone...
Not to mention maintaining the social aquaintances I have made in the last few weeks... I'm trying to ween myself off of the computer as much as I can... It's not going as well as I would have hoped, but I'm doing better... Mayhaps that had more to do with Seussical (a musical about seuss, for those not in the know)... I was the antagonist... mwahaha... typecasting I know, but I digress...
I look forward to going home, not so much the going home part now-- I feel quite indifferent about my returning back to Vancouver for the time being... don't get me wrong, I look forward to all y friends and stuff... heck I'm even looking forward a bit to working at petro can... how sad is that-- but I am looking forward to being able to look back on these last three months with some perspective...
Without getting into to much detail, I've really screwed somethings up... Other things have turned out a million times better than I ever could have hoped... I just wish I hadn't hurt so many people in the process...
They don't seem to hate me, thats for sure, perhaps they're enacting revenge in some sadistic way I dont understand... That would certainly explain why the cafeteria food was so awful this weekend... Or perhaps some miniature voodoo neal doll would explain why ears, knees, nostrils, hands and thumbnails were so easy to bleed this last weekend...
Regardless, I wish I could say I am simply going to wave my hand and everything will revert back to the way it was-- heck, take me back to last december, and let me try it all over again...
But then again, I did say that i like the way some things have turned out, and it would be selfish to revert everything...
Meh!
Okay, so this is it.... Everyone who is reading this, this is the point at which I change... When I look back at my year during that 'sit and ponder' part of New years, I will reflect back to this point as the time when I started to become the person I wanted to be...
No longer will I sit idley by and accept the person dictated for to me... I'm gonna make certain things right; be honest and truthful...
If thats what it's gonna take... hoo-wee Im gonna do it...
/sappy rant off
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Gahk!
Just a quick post before I head off to bed...
Tonight, I was not on duty, thank God! But someone had to be, so the other guy-- whom I have become quite good friends with-- stopped by my room on his patrol of the halls when room curfew went into effect...
They gave him the roughest time, and I felt quite bad... (although I felt like cheering when he lost his temper and told one of the little shits to 'stfu')
Needless to say, after 40 minutes of yelling at the 'tards to go to their room, he finally burns out and heads off to bed...
He hadn't been gone from my room for 40 seconds when someone knocked on my door and asked 'can you let me outsside so I can have a cigarette?'
'OMG! NO!'
'Why?'
'Cuz you gave the other RA a really hard time, and I'm not out to be doing any of you favours!'
'That wasn't me!'
'Get out of my room!'
I wanted to punch him, as he walked back to his room I yelled a reminder that he is to have all of his smokes before curfew, and that i would not be making and exceptions from now on...
Although I'm quite certain that he was one of the people making the other RA's life miserable, I hope that f he wasn't, he beats the shit out of one of the that was...
Sigh
gnight
Tonight, I was not on duty, thank God! But someone had to be, so the other guy-- whom I have become quite good friends with-- stopped by my room on his patrol of the halls when room curfew went into effect...
They gave him the roughest time, and I felt quite bad... (although I felt like cheering when he lost his temper and told one of the little shits to 'stfu')
Needless to say, after 40 minutes of yelling at the 'tards to go to their room, he finally burns out and heads off to bed...
He hadn't been gone from my room for 40 seconds when someone knocked on my door and asked 'can you let me outsside so I can have a cigarette?'
'OMG! NO!'
'Why?'
'Cuz you gave the other RA a really hard time, and I'm not out to be doing any of you favours!'
'That wasn't me!'
'Get out of my room!'
I wanted to punch him, as he walked back to his room I yelled a reminder that he is to have all of his smokes before curfew, and that i would not be making and exceptions from now on...
Although I'm quite certain that he was one of the people making the other RA's life miserable, I hope that f he wasn't, he beats the shit out of one of the that was...
Sigh
gnight
Monday, November 08, 2004
Discontent
To say that I am discontent would be an understatement...
I have achieved the level of November Blahs unlike any man has ever reached before... I wish I could go back to when life was simpler, unfortunately, I am well aware that no one with a 5th grade education gets very far in life... Wait a second, thats not true!
Every person I deal with in my daily life has a 5th grade education.. well maybe there is a genius or two who skipped grade 5, but everyone has indeed taken it... Perhaps there is hope afterall!!!
But before I drop out, and become the Edmonton Mole Person ( http://www.straightdope.com/columns/040109.html ) I figure I should explain...
I said yes to a musical... no problem, except I forgot how much time they take up... I didnt learn my lesson the last three times... Woe is me, eh?
Needless to say, by the time I'm done rehersals, the chances of me wanting to start right away on homework are slim to none... But I continue on... Blah!
But when I come back to my room, I am forced to deal with the imbiciles we call high school students... Those that i am lord and master over are dumb as tree stumps...
They keep trying to show me the hypocracy of making them go to their rooms while i continue my showering and TV watching... And I keep reminding them that I have their signature on a form that says they will abide by all rules set forth by concordia, and one of those rules is the 11pm room curfew... I also need to remind them that as a university student, I am not required to sign such a document and am free to spend my time doing whatever I please...
I have had to keep repeating this so many times... and not to everyone... to the same 5 people... Jeez, get it in your heads you retards! I am not going to change my opinion, and all youre doing is making me like you less, so that when you ask me to do something I would otherwise have let you do, I will tell you no... and I will do it with a smile on my face...
Oh, and they got their interm report cards back last friday... So there were quite a few upset parents, needless to say... (dumb as stumps, I kid you not)...
One of the kids was questioned about his grades were so low and why he was almost always late or absent from his first classes in the morning... He blamed me... Apparently I keep him up late with my wild parties and excessive noise... I don't even like the little fucker, I want to beat the shit out of him (and there are two things stopping me 1)I'd lose my job and 2)Beating him is a dream, and should I succeed in doing it, and I don't enjoy it as much as I hope, then one of my dreams would be a failure)... Sorry, back to my tale...
So the kid blames me (apparently telling him to go to his own room keeps him up at night)... Once more, the kid tells his mom a specific tale in which I kept him up 'till 4am drinking pop, listening to music and eating pizza... (I had a brief meeting with my boss because the mom thought it was horrible that someone hired to ensure that her son was getting the best of his education would be keeping him up at night)
Bgwah???
I seem to remember the tale a little bit differently than he told his mother (not that I blame him entirely, I've dealt with his mom, she's such a cow)
I was out studying (yes, occasionally I study, don't act shocked everyone)... During my study period, I ordered pizza... We have a great little pizza place that has really decent pizzas 2 for 1... So I bought, and ate to my hearts content... I, by myself, could not finish two whole pizzas, so I carried them home in order to place in the fridge for later consumption... Approximate time 2:30am
Upon entering the hallway towards my room, I saw a light from an open door... Inside the room were several of the guys from high school, three were studying, one was working on art (he paints and draws and stuff) and one was chatting to the others (bet you can't guess which one is the focus of our story... heres a hint, it wasn't the studiers or the painter)...
Figuring they were already up, being relatively respectful in regards to quietness, and I was not on duty, I offered them the remainder of my pizza, offered a few cans of pop which i have stored in my room, and then went to bed...
What a bad bad man I am, eh? Keeping her satan child out till al hours of the night with my drinking and my promiscuity... Oh the humanity...
I hope things start getting better really soon... Boss has said that the kid will be suspended if he gives us lip... So I'm down with that, now all I need to do is find a way to get around the can't touch status that some of the kids have...
They're the preferred children to Boss... And because he hangs out with them, they have been manipulating him, and often get off with wrist slaps when they should be getting suspensions and stuff... Worse yet, they're playing me and Boss like two divorced parents... Except I'm the bad parent that never lets them get away with shit, and so I always find out later that Boss said it was okay...
Im sick of dealing with this...
Ugh...
Whoowee, how am I going to get to sleep tonight?
I have achieved the level of November Blahs unlike any man has ever reached before... I wish I could go back to when life was simpler, unfortunately, I am well aware that no one with a 5th grade education gets very far in life... Wait a second, thats not true!
Every person I deal with in my daily life has a 5th grade education.. well maybe there is a genius or two who skipped grade 5, but everyone has indeed taken it... Perhaps there is hope afterall!!!
But before I drop out, and become the Edmonton Mole Person ( http://www.straightdope.com/columns/040109.html ) I figure I should explain...
I said yes to a musical... no problem, except I forgot how much time they take up... I didnt learn my lesson the last three times... Woe is me, eh?
Needless to say, by the time I'm done rehersals, the chances of me wanting to start right away on homework are slim to none... But I continue on... Blah!
But when I come back to my room, I am forced to deal with the imbiciles we call high school students... Those that i am lord and master over are dumb as tree stumps...
They keep trying to show me the hypocracy of making them go to their rooms while i continue my showering and TV watching... And I keep reminding them that I have their signature on a form that says they will abide by all rules set forth by concordia, and one of those rules is the 11pm room curfew... I also need to remind them that as a university student, I am not required to sign such a document and am free to spend my time doing whatever I please...
I have had to keep repeating this so many times... and not to everyone... to the same 5 people... Jeez, get it in your heads you retards! I am not going to change my opinion, and all youre doing is making me like you less, so that when you ask me to do something I would otherwise have let you do, I will tell you no... and I will do it with a smile on my face...
Oh, and they got their interm report cards back last friday... So there were quite a few upset parents, needless to say... (dumb as stumps, I kid you not)...
One of the kids was questioned about his grades were so low and why he was almost always late or absent from his first classes in the morning... He blamed me... Apparently I keep him up late with my wild parties and excessive noise... I don't even like the little fucker, I want to beat the shit out of him (and there are two things stopping me 1)I'd lose my job and 2)Beating him is a dream, and should I succeed in doing it, and I don't enjoy it as much as I hope, then one of my dreams would be a failure)... Sorry, back to my tale...
So the kid blames me (apparently telling him to go to his own room keeps him up at night)... Once more, the kid tells his mom a specific tale in which I kept him up 'till 4am drinking pop, listening to music and eating pizza... (I had a brief meeting with my boss because the mom thought it was horrible that someone hired to ensure that her son was getting the best of his education would be keeping him up at night)
Bgwah???
I seem to remember the tale a little bit differently than he told his mother (not that I blame him entirely, I've dealt with his mom, she's such a cow)
I was out studying (yes, occasionally I study, don't act shocked everyone)... During my study period, I ordered pizza... We have a great little pizza place that has really decent pizzas 2 for 1... So I bought, and ate to my hearts content... I, by myself, could not finish two whole pizzas, so I carried them home in order to place in the fridge for later consumption... Approximate time 2:30am
Upon entering the hallway towards my room, I saw a light from an open door... Inside the room were several of the guys from high school, three were studying, one was working on art (he paints and draws and stuff) and one was chatting to the others (bet you can't guess which one is the focus of our story... heres a hint, it wasn't the studiers or the painter)...
Figuring they were already up, being relatively respectful in regards to quietness, and I was not on duty, I offered them the remainder of my pizza, offered a few cans of pop which i have stored in my room, and then went to bed...
What a bad bad man I am, eh? Keeping her satan child out till al hours of the night with my drinking and my promiscuity... Oh the humanity...
I hope things start getting better really soon... Boss has said that the kid will be suspended if he gives us lip... So I'm down with that, now all I need to do is find a way to get around the can't touch status that some of the kids have...
They're the preferred children to Boss... And because he hangs out with them, they have been manipulating him, and often get off with wrist slaps when they should be getting suspensions and stuff... Worse yet, they're playing me and Boss like two divorced parents... Except I'm the bad parent that never lets them get away with shit, and so I always find out later that Boss said it was okay...
Im sick of dealing with this...
Ugh...
Whoowee, how am I going to get to sleep tonight?
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