November

/sappy rant on

Well, it's been a long time comming...

To say that novembers suck would be an understatement... Pretty much everything I do focuses around my inability to do anything productive.

November Blahs; my archenemy... well actually, my figurative archenemy, as I have to many literal ones...

I think I am less pleasant to be around in November, as I am finding myself complaining more... I know what youre all saying- "he has a higher level of complaining?"

I kid you not, I'm even noticing how much I'm over complaining... Even this post is a complaint... Oh woe is me!

I suppose things should get better now, I mean all I have left to do is a couple of papers, a few exams, a crapload of concerts, and aid a friend with her capstone...

Not to mention maintaining the social aquaintances I have made in the last few weeks... I'm trying to ween myself off of the computer as much as I can... It's not going as well as I would have hoped, but I'm doing better... Mayhaps that had more to do with Seussical (a musical about seuss, for those not in the know)... I was the antagonist... mwahaha... typecasting I know, but I digress...

I look forward to going home, not so much the going home part now-- I feel quite indifferent about my returning back to Vancouver for the time being... don't get me wrong, I look forward to all y friends and stuff... heck I'm even looking forward a bit to working at petro can... how sad is that-- but I am looking forward to being able to look back on these last three months with some perspective...

Without getting into to much detail, I've really screwed somethings up... Other things have turned out a million times better than I ever could have hoped... I just wish I hadn't hurt so many people in the process...

They don't seem to hate me, thats for sure, perhaps they're enacting revenge in some sadistic way I dont understand... That would certainly explain why the cafeteria food was so awful this weekend... Or perhaps some miniature voodoo neal doll would explain why ears, knees, nostrils, hands and thumbnails were so easy to bleed this last weekend...

Regardless, I wish I could say I am simply going to wave my hand and everything will revert back to the way it was-- heck, take me back to last december, and let me try it all over again...

But then again, I did say that i like the way some things have turned out, and it would be selfish to revert everything...

Meh!

Okay, so this is it.... Everyone who is reading this, this is the point at which I change... When I look back at my year during that 'sit and ponder' part of New years, I will reflect back to this point as the time when I started to become the person I wanted to be...

No longer will I sit idley by and accept the person dictated for to me... I'm gonna make certain things right; be honest and truthful...

If thats what it's gonna take... hoo-wee Im gonna do it...

/sappy rant off