I hope I don't get trouble, cuz she seemed quite offended... But this is what happened...
She stormed into the store, grumpy as could be... walked right up to the counter and in a demanding way said,
"DO YOU GUYS SELL POP HERE?!"
as polite as I could I directed her to the display she had walked past to get to the counter, as well as the 40' floor to ceiling refrigeration unit at the back of the store (which, to my knowledge, is pretty standard to every convenience store of the last 50 years)...
She walked down the isle to the cooler, grabbed a few 2L of coke and then walked back...
"WHERE ARE YOUR FUCKING CHIPS?!"
And this is where I laughed... She was so angry... and she had just walked down the chip isle... 30' of chest height chips in an assortment of flavours lining both sides of her walk... But she couldn't be bothered...
and so I laughed...
I pointed at the chips, and I laughed...
(I was tired afterall)...
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Good Intentions and Bad Conversations
So I have a story to tell... Picture this:
I am on my way to work... Due to forgetting several items, and remembering them individually as I was exiting (or trying to exit), I was running a tad bit late...
I walked quickly to pick up the time I was short, which seemed to be working... for the most part...
Shuffle shuffle shuffle... "snow in my shoes... damn..." I think to myself "keep going... there will be plenty of time to fight off frostbite once I get to work"
"wait a second?" I pause briefly... "did I hear something"
"hwwwwwlp"
"Couldn't have been... need to get to work"
"hwwwwwlp... psssssssss... hwwwwwlp"
"Where is that comming from?"
I search the snowbanks around where I'm standing, and sure enough behind one of the parking lot piles is an elderly woman who had seemingly slipped on the ice and was unable to right herself...
The weather out tonight was breezy and cold (-27c/-10f... -40C/-40f when you factored in the wind) and as such she was visibly chilled. She was shaking slightly and wasn't able to talk without a slur...
First things first, make sure she doesn't have anything broken... I ask her if she hurt anything when she fell... Nope... I ask her if she thinks she will be able to walk... yup...
I offer to walk her to the store for some complimentary coffee so that she can warm up (it was, afterall the parkinglot for the store that she unrighted herself)... She refused...
So she spouted off an address... Took a few tries to understand it, but eventually we were on our way... She wasn't able to stand under her own power, but she seemed concious enough... So I kept her engaged in conversation as half carried her home...
A block away from the address she gave me, I asked her if anyone was home where we were going... "Yeeeees... buh dey asleeeee" she tells me... This I have a slight problem with...
Fair enough for them sleeping, it is late... But when she told me, she faced towards me while she spoke... Which I guess was the first time since our encounter had began...
Her mouth reeked of rum... It was far far too overpowering, and really unexpected...
And I'm sad to say my view changed.
All of a sudden, I'm not saving a sweet old lady from near death... I'm helping carry a drunk home from the bar...
I suppose it wouldn't have changed anything... She almost certainly needed my help regardless of her state... But a part of me felt used (like it was all in her plan... "I don't want to pay for a cab to go four blocks... I'll just sit in the snow near a busy store and get someone to carry me home")
I suppose it's a little wrong to change my view of the situation... I mean we all have our vices, and she was just as deserving of love and compassion as anyone... But a thank you would have been nice...
Instead of a thank you I got a "don't follow me to the door... you're not getting anything from me" (spoken in a thick drunken english)... As if the only reason I would do something nice to an old lady would be to steal stuff from her or take advantage of her afterwards...
I arrived to work late... and slightly bitter...
Work was good though... and my entertaining story of the night...
A "couple" comes into the store, and buys some cigarettes...
He says "Oh, crap... I should get condoms"...
She says "don;t worry about that... I have lots... But I want the cash up front!!!"
"what was that?" I ask.
"oh... nothing" he says.
They pay, then he goes to the bank machine... and then they leave...
...
20 minutes later...
...
She comes back in, uses the washroom, buys some more condoms, and leaves... In a different vehicle... With a different guy...
Eww??
I am on my way to work... Due to forgetting several items, and remembering them individually as I was exiting (or trying to exit), I was running a tad bit late...
I walked quickly to pick up the time I was short, which seemed to be working... for the most part...
Shuffle shuffle shuffle... "snow in my shoes... damn..." I think to myself "keep going... there will be plenty of time to fight off frostbite once I get to work"
"wait a second?" I pause briefly... "did I hear something"
"hwwwwwlp"
"Couldn't have been... need to get to work"
"hwwwwwlp... psssssssss... hwwwwwlp"
"Where is that comming from?"
I search the snowbanks around where I'm standing, and sure enough behind one of the parking lot piles is an elderly woman who had seemingly slipped on the ice and was unable to right herself...
The weather out tonight was breezy and cold (-27c/-10f... -40C/-40f when you factored in the wind) and as such she was visibly chilled. She was shaking slightly and wasn't able to talk without a slur...
First things first, make sure she doesn't have anything broken... I ask her if she hurt anything when she fell... Nope... I ask her if she thinks she will be able to walk... yup...
I offer to walk her to the store for some complimentary coffee so that she can warm up (it was, afterall the parkinglot for the store that she unrighted herself)... She refused...
So she spouted off an address... Took a few tries to understand it, but eventually we were on our way... She wasn't able to stand under her own power, but she seemed concious enough... So I kept her engaged in conversation as half carried her home...
A block away from the address she gave me, I asked her if anyone was home where we were going... "Yeeeees... buh dey asleeeee" she tells me... This I have a slight problem with...
Fair enough for them sleeping, it is late... But when she told me, she faced towards me while she spoke... Which I guess was the first time since our encounter had began...
Her mouth reeked of rum... It was far far too overpowering, and really unexpected...
And I'm sad to say my view changed.
All of a sudden, I'm not saving a sweet old lady from near death... I'm helping carry a drunk home from the bar...
I suppose it wouldn't have changed anything... She almost certainly needed my help regardless of her state... But a part of me felt used (like it was all in her plan... "I don't want to pay for a cab to go four blocks... I'll just sit in the snow near a busy store and get someone to carry me home")
I suppose it's a little wrong to change my view of the situation... I mean we all have our vices, and she was just as deserving of love and compassion as anyone... But a thank you would have been nice...
Instead of a thank you I got a "don't follow me to the door... you're not getting anything from me" (spoken in a thick drunken english)... As if the only reason I would do something nice to an old lady would be to steal stuff from her or take advantage of her afterwards...
I arrived to work late... and slightly bitter...
Work was good though... and my entertaining story of the night...
A "couple" comes into the store, and buys some cigarettes...
He says "Oh, crap... I should get condoms"...
She says "don;t worry about that... I have lots... But I want the cash up front!!!"
"what was that?" I ask.
"oh... nothing" he says.
They pay, then he goes to the bank machine... and then they leave...
...
20 minutes later...
...
She comes back in, uses the washroom, buys some more condoms, and leaves... In a different vehicle... With a different guy...
Eww??
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Forgetfulness
So I have officially "adjusted" to my new sleeping schedule... Which really isn't much different than my old schedule...
Old:
Stay awake... crash...
New:
Stay awake, go to work, crash...
but I am finding it hard to sleep past 11pm... after only 4 days, I cannot sleep in past my start time...
But I suppose I should get to the title of my post (because every once ina while I have a reason for the titles I choose)...
Last night I woke up, checked everyones blogs ('cept sharons... cuz she appears to haev broken her's again)... I then made myself breakfast and played a few videogames... Then I got bored... and checked to see if anyone had updated their blogs yet... which is silly, cuz I don;t know too many people assides from myself who would be updating their blogs between the hours of 2am and 6am...
But I did check... and I did check again...
I mean, there are some 30 blogs on my sidebar, so someone should be updating today right?
Yeah... it was when I checked all the blogs about an hour ago that it occured to me: "what the hell am I doing?"
And I thought I should share my lack of intelligence from the morning... Especially since I know most of you like to laugh at me (esp morgan and regan... they never stop laughing at me... so at least I'm considerate enough to give them good reasons)
Old:
Stay awake... crash...
New:
Stay awake, go to work, crash...
but I am finding it hard to sleep past 11pm... after only 4 days, I cannot sleep in past my start time...
But I suppose I should get to the title of my post (because every once ina while I have a reason for the titles I choose)...
Last night I woke up, checked everyones blogs ('cept sharons... cuz she appears to haev broken her's again)... I then made myself breakfast and played a few videogames... Then I got bored... and checked to see if anyone had updated their blogs yet... which is silly, cuz I don;t know too many people assides from myself who would be updating their blogs between the hours of 2am and 6am...
But I did check... and I did check again...
I mean, there are some 30 blogs on my sidebar, so someone should be updating today right?
Yeah... it was when I checked all the blogs about an hour ago that it occured to me: "what the hell am I doing?"
And I thought I should share my lack of intelligence from the morning... Especially since I know most of you like to laugh at me (esp morgan and regan... they never stop laughing at me... so at least I'm considerate enough to give them good reasons)
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Say what?
I think a leprechaun came into the store...
A little old man (maybe 5'2" or so... but with the raised area behind the counter, he looked a lot shorter) curley orange hair that was turned mostly gray, a green jacket, and the thickest irish accent I have heard on this side of the atlantic...
No pot of gold though...
perhaps next time...
A little old man (maybe 5'2" or so... but with the raised area behind the counter, he looked a lot shorter) curley orange hair that was turned mostly gray, a green jacket, and the thickest irish accent I have heard on this side of the atlantic...
No pot of gold though...
perhaps next time...
Friday, November 24, 2006
Random Conversations...
I haven't quite got into the swing of things to start stories about outlandish things customers do...
Or perhaps there haven't been as many really stupid people...
(although I really do doubt that)
We had a severly creepy guy come into work today... He was drunk and old, and was hitting on the female employees...
Asking them out for dinner, talking about the girls he has had relaitions with that are a generation or two younger than him... You know... creepy stuff....
But as long as he keeps his distance, we try to ignore what he's saying... and it works... Until you get magical one liners... These are AWSOME pick-up lines btw... I don't know how my co-workers managed to keep their hands off of him...
"I've got a room rented at the Drake" (unfortunately, in cotext, this was not a proposition... which would have made it more creepy, and thus more entertaining)
"you only need to put in a few hundred hours work before you can get 'laid off' and start claiming EI" (hey ladies, He's single!)
"Just pretend I'm like your grandpa... it worked for my last girlfriend" (paraphrased of course, but this is general concensus of what he intended to say... his speech was slightly inhibited by his drinking)...
The girls eventually tired of him, and found jobs to do which removed them from the sales floor... He eventually grew tired of us ignoring him, and left...
Some peoples grandparents...
Or perhaps there haven't been as many really stupid people...
(although I really do doubt that)
We had a severly creepy guy come into work today... He was drunk and old, and was hitting on the female employees...
Asking them out for dinner, talking about the girls he has had relaitions with that are a generation or two younger than him... You know... creepy stuff....
But as long as he keeps his distance, we try to ignore what he's saying... and it works... Until you get magical one liners... These are AWSOME pick-up lines btw... I don't know how my co-workers managed to keep their hands off of him...
"I've got a room rented at the Drake" (unfortunately, in cotext, this was not a proposition... which would have made it more creepy, and thus more entertaining)
"you only need to put in a few hundred hours work before you can get 'laid off' and start claiming EI" (hey ladies, He's single!)
"Just pretend I'm like your grandpa... it worked for my last girlfriend" (paraphrased of course, but this is general concensus of what he intended to say... his speech was slightly inhibited by his drinking)...
The girls eventually tired of him, and found jobs to do which removed them from the sales floor... He eventually grew tired of us ignoring him, and left...
Some peoples grandparents...
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Oh...
and did I mention the weather forcast for edmonton?
Monday
A mix of sun and cloud. Low minus 28. High minus 24.
(for the more accurate weather site...)
MON NOV 27 -25°C -32°C
(for the less accurate weather site)
Brace yourself children!
and did I mention the weather forcast for edmonton?
Monday
A mix of sun and cloud. Low minus 28. High minus 24.
(for the more accurate weather site...)
MON NOV 27 -25°C -32°C
(for the less accurate weather site)
Brace yourself children!
The ABC's of Retail
A is for Alcohol... and lots of it... man were there ever a lot of stupid people today...
"each pack of cigarettes is $10"
"yes?"
"well, then you cant count, you gave me $30.30 back"
"i can assure you, I can count, but when yuo apply a discount [for purchasing two packs] it usually ends up being less then normal..."
B is for bootleg... Because buying a pair of brand new Diesel jeans for $20 from a person who would not buy diesel jeans in the first place, cannot supply a purchase receipt (or even a gift receipt), and tries to steal a case of water from our display isn't suspicious at all... nope, not a bit...
C is for crack pipe... which we found in a bag left by a customer... We also found several brands of condoms, some gay porno DVD's, and an issue of American Hunter magazine... Must've been quite the night... The cops thought so too (we were searching through to look for identification... which ceased as soon as we found Señor Tubo)...
"each pack of cigarettes is $10"
"yes?"
"well, then you cant count, you gave me $30.30 back"
"i can assure you, I can count, but when yuo apply a discount [for purchasing two packs] it usually ends up being less then normal..."
B is for bootleg... Because buying a pair of brand new Diesel jeans for $20 from a person who would not buy diesel jeans in the first place, cannot supply a purchase receipt (or even a gift receipt), and tries to steal a case of water from our display isn't suspicious at all... nope, not a bit...
C is for crack pipe... which we found in a bag left by a customer... We also found several brands of condoms, some gay porno DVD's, and an issue of American Hunter magazine... Must've been quite the night... The cops thought so too (we were searching through to look for identification... which ceased as soon as we found Señor Tubo)...
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
As i write this...
As I write this, the weather conditions outside are... sickening...
I think it's -20 (-30 or so with the wind)... Theres snow on the ground... it's blowing...
Which leads me to a couple of questions...
1) How can you wear so little clothing?
I mean, I know it's a part of your profession, and you need to dress accordingly... But if I was strutting along 118th in that, theres no way in hell a single coffee is gonna warm me up...
2) Being seasonally appropriate means wearing seasonably appropriate shoes...
Just remember, I don't think your profession has good dedical and mental coverage... If you slip on some ice in (what had to be 8") heels, you are gonna break something...
3) Why, oh why, god, why do you feel it necessary to wink at me?
*Shudder* I don't mean to be judgemental, but I know your profession... and it's dirty... and not like "I scrape up dead turkeys at the turkey farm" dirty... I'm talking "I radiate ghonoherpasyplilaids in a 5 ft aura" dirty... Winking at me makes it worse...
I think it's -20 (-30 or so with the wind)... Theres snow on the ground... it's blowing...
Which leads me to a couple of questions...
1) How can you wear so little clothing?
I mean, I know it's a part of your profession, and you need to dress accordingly... But if I was strutting along 118th in that, theres no way in hell a single coffee is gonna warm me up...
2) Being seasonally appropriate means wearing seasonably appropriate shoes...
Just remember, I don't think your profession has good dedical and mental coverage... If you slip on some ice in (what had to be 8") heels, you are gonna break something...
3) Why, oh why, god, why do you feel it necessary to wink at me?
*Shudder* I don't mean to be judgemental, but I know your profession... and it's dirty... and not like "I scrape up dead turkeys at the turkey farm" dirty... I'm talking "I radiate ghonoherpasyplilaids in a 5 ft aura" dirty... Winking at me makes it worse...
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Praise Jesus for Stupid People
So yesterday was my first day at my new retail job (yay)...
There is a training computer program that is anticipated to take up to a week to complete, which I started on yesterday...
Thankfully the person who I am to replace (he gave notice last week) was caught stealing from the til... So instead of a week long training session, I get to jump right in...
So tonight is my first till shift...
My manager was so concerned that i was going to get stressed out and quit...
I reassured her by reminding her that at my previous gas station job I had to do everything she is expecting me to do, plus baking, plus hand counting all the stealables, by myself...
yes, thats right... I have a co-worker...
Anyways... back to the training video...
I managed to complete 6.5 hours of training on the program yesterday...
6.5 hours of him droning on and on and on and on... in a monotone voice...
It simulates a till, and has click-and-drag aperati so that you can pretend your actually using the hardware...
"a customer aproaches the till, after greeting them, attempt to scan the products"
(drag scanner overtop vitual prouct)
*beep*
(drag scanner overtop second virtual product)
*beep*
(drag scanner over third virtual product)
"this product appears to not scan properly, please manually enter the upc code"
*tickyticky ticky*
*beep*
"the customer has a coupon for product two"
*clicky clicky beep*
"the customer has decided not to get product one, please remove it from the list"
...
...
...
For six and a half hours...
There is a training computer program that is anticipated to take up to a week to complete, which I started on yesterday...
Thankfully the person who I am to replace (he gave notice last week) was caught stealing from the til... So instead of a week long training session, I get to jump right in...
So tonight is my first till shift...
My manager was so concerned that i was going to get stressed out and quit...
I reassured her by reminding her that at my previous gas station job I had to do everything she is expecting me to do, plus baking, plus hand counting all the stealables, by myself...
yes, thats right... I have a co-worker...
Anyways... back to the training video...
I managed to complete 6.5 hours of training on the program yesterday...
6.5 hours of him droning on and on and on and on... in a monotone voice...
It simulates a till, and has click-and-drag aperati so that you can pretend your actually using the hardware...
"a customer aproaches the till, after greeting them, attempt to scan the products"
(drag scanner overtop vitual prouct)
*beep*
(drag scanner overtop second virtual product)
*beep*
(drag scanner over third virtual product)
"this product appears to not scan properly, please manually enter the upc code"
*tickyticky ticky*
*beep*
"the customer has a coupon for product two"
*clicky clicky beep*
"the customer has decided not to get product one, please remove it from the list"
...
...
...
For six and a half hours...
Sunday, November 19, 2006
news
So my stories will most likly return to their former glory...
I am working in retain again for the next little while...
should be... interesting...
I am working in retain again for the next little while...
should be... interesting...
Thursday, November 09, 2006
It's Not You, It's Me
I swear...
I know I'm irritable, I know I'm moody... Anti-social? me? not in the least... And from the sounds of it, many of you know as well...
I wish to be left alone.
Please let me be the one to initiate conversation and interaction, because your attempts are not succeeding (in part due to my attitude and in part due to your timing)...
I really do just wish to be left alone...
Quiet is especially appreciated...
I'll see you in December...
I know I'm irritable, I know I'm moody... Anti-social? me? not in the least... And from the sounds of it, many of you know as well...
I wish to be left alone.
Please let me be the one to initiate conversation and interaction, because your attempts are not succeeding (in part due to my attitude and in part due to your timing)...
I really do just wish to be left alone...
Quiet is especially appreciated...
I'll see you in December...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
