wait... no... I think it was a shovel...
No... crap..
I'm so bad at this...
Okay, I think I remember how this joke goes...
So a bird and a shovel get into this huge fight...
no... that's not how it goes...
Okay, lets start at the very beginning... If this offends you, please remember it is fictional, and occurred at an imaginary land of recreation... one that i do not work at...
So this bird maims itself, and luckily finds it's way into the loving caring arms of some old lady, who nurses it back to health, and sends it on a downhill spiral of human dependancy (both for attention and food)...
Somehow she gets the wicked cool idea to release the bird out into the wild after she's taught it not to be afraid of humans... and the wild she decides to release it at, happens to be a golf course...
Not being afraid to approach humans (thinking they're a source of food and entertainment), he sets off amusing some, and annoying others...
Some are severely amused, some are severely annoyed...
Like in every other situation in life, the five annoyed people make twice as much noise as the hundred amused people... and they complain... do people ever stop complaining (bwahahaha... hypocracy, I know)
So the bosses at the golf course discuss (jokingly) the cruel ways to remove the pest, in order to stop the bitching...
One person decides that (for the following reasons:
1) The bird is obviously malnurished
2) He, himself, is somewhat responsible for the behavior of the bird (through feeding it on many occasions)
3) That the risk of the bird being maimed by an angry golfer and dying a long drawn out death is sufficiently high)
he is going to play god, and remove the bird from our existence...
And he does so... with a swift blow to the head with a shovel...
I am, by no means, a truely cruel person... Sure I act it up a lot... And sure I am quite "hardened" from life on the farm, but that doesn't make me cruel...
But when he called it by name (Stevie), and it landed beside him and cocked its head towards him as if to say
"HEY BEST BUDDY GUY! GOT ANYTHING TO EAT!!!!
=-D
Wait a second... whats the shovel for?"
Only to be dead a fraction of a second later... I laughed...
In order to justify his actions, he referenced "of mice and men"... given the circumstances, I suppose that's a decent comparison...
please insert animal cruelty whining here \/
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I dare you to email this to Peta.
PETA is a terrorist organization!
they threaten scientists with their lives and maim animals just to blame it on the scientists.
away with PETA away! will your lives never stop?
AWAY!
-matty k
plus without animal research we would not have the things we so now enjoy like the medicine which allows us to live longer, or hampster powered generators.
they also test in a "humane" way if you will.
if they are doing experiments with say a rabbits legs, they'll break his spine so he doesnt feel pain...except for when they break his spine.
hmm maybe those scientists are dicks.
-matty k
I enjoy the fact that I'm not the only one who hates Peta.
Now lets all go have a big steak followed by our favourite medications, all washed down with genetically enhanced milk.
I'm trying to find the link but there was a group of enviromental scientists and biologists who by using Peta's logic and twisted thinking about everything would actaully in long run (and short) would severaly damage the ecology and probably would assist in the ever presant global warming
ben was just so convinceing when he said it was for the best.... before the bird didn't die right away and he cut it in half with his shovel....
You are lucky Pamela Anderson or Lee or Rock or whatever her name is, is getting married multiple times this week. She probably would return with her stash of silicone to Canada and protest.
Post a Comment