What happens...

...when you [bleep] a word?

Especially an innocent word from an innocent song?

You get a reason for me to post twice in a day

gdzujk

Is it alright to be a little bit sad that a few hours from now, I will wake up and instinctively go right to my computer to check the weather forcast/radar imagery, knowing full well that it hasnt rained enough to cancel work more than twice in the last six months and that today probibly won't be an exception so I should eat some breakfast anyways and put on some warm clothes, maybe two pairs of socks today, get my unicycle out from the closet and start heading to work...

...only to remember that friday was my last day of the season...

As much of a pain as it was to drag myself out of bed every morning (especially when your boss is mad at you cuz you pissed off one of the important members) I am gonna miss the GC over the winter...

Oh well

here are some songs to cheer me (and you) up:


I Feel Fantastic - Jonathan Coulton
(cuz honestly what is more fun then medicating yourself into a state of perpetual bliss?)



and

KlanKooKout - Bo Burnham
(satire is funny... especially... well... offensive satire...)

Too Good Not To Share

My WHole Family.. - Bo Burnham

Not to be outdone by -j

I listen to a lot of radio... a lot of radio...

some days it's the only thing that keeps me sane whilst my employer, my coworks, the golfers, and complete strangers make fun of me (LOTS OF LEAVES MADE IT OVER THE FENCE!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! ***SOBSOBSOB***)

anyways...

The radio station I listen to is often quite hillarious... They have a weekly DnD report that makes me feel... well... I associate with it (especially the jokes about being a gnome)...

but ulimately, the reason I stick with the station I do is the songs they play... It's amazing how much some songs can really pick up the day, or make me a lot less bored (depending on the day, really) here's a selection of my favourites...

First off Muse -Supermasive Black Hole
favourite line "you're the queen of the superficial, but how long before you tell the truth?"

this song is a mixture of dark and falsetto with just the right mixture of catchy techno-esque sound which in my mind redeems muse from the trainwreck that is "starlight" (that song makes me gag and really turned me off muse for a while)



Next up is... umm... well... I couldnt find a proper video for it (cuz live performace + youtube = vomit) but here is Radiohead - Bodysnatchers... not even worth explaining why I like it since it doesnt shine in this video >.<

fave lyrics "I have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm trapped in this body and can't get out"



Next up is Rise Against - All the Good Left Undone

probibly the catchiest song (assides from the next one, but I'm getting ahead of myself) since it's the only one I can actually sing along with... I've always appreciated rise against and the contribution their songs have made to sonics play list, so here it is...

oh yeah... fave lyrics "I believe in angels, not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos; the kind that bring you home when home becomes a strange place"



If you've ever seen me thrashing about like a retard for no apparent reason it's wither because I've tripped, fallen, and accidentally swalled a piece of orange that was on the ground... or I am "dancing" to this next song (no... not actually sancing... but the beat definately gets to me a little more than it should)...

The lyrics are retardidly cheesy, and the song has little to no value other than being the song that makes me squeal with girlish delight...

Beck - Timebomb

(fave lyric... well... for lack of a valid option... "tick tick tick")



Against Me - Thrash Unreal

I'm getting tired.. so... I like this song?

favorite lyrics: "they dont know a thing about redemption, they dont know a thing about recovery, some people just arent the type for marriage or a family"



Still sleepy, but wanna get one more song off...

Jimmy Eat World - Big Casino

fave lyrics (because I belt it out when I'm stuck on a machine all day at work) "I have one last wish, and it's from the heart, let me down easy"
(music video embedding disbaled)

I laughed at work today.

The theme today for the radio station I listed to was "fashion"... so people call in and request songs that have to do with the topic and the DJ picks a few of them to play during the lunch hour.

This song made me laugh... and think...

LAZYBOY - Underwear Goes Inside The Pants

Why is marijuana not legal?
Why is marijuana not legal?
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons.
That's not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is:
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.I
f everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
"OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just:"
"Who's the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?"

Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity.
They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio.
Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."
Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru.
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized.
Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker.
There's room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,"You'll see. I'm going to take over the world of computers! I'll show them."

We're in one of the richest countries in the world,but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys.
Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do?
Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack?
He's homeless.

I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says "why don't you go get a job you bum."
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants.
I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.I
'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books.

Grandeur

Post Secrets is an amazing tool.

I use it to laugh, reflect, dream, laugh, cry, laugh, and be inspired.

One that really hit me was from a week or two (or three) ago was a guy, simply holding a sign saying something along the lines of "I truely believe that some day I'm goig to change the world"

I think that applies to me as well... I don't know how, and I dont know what... But theres just a feeling deep inside that despite all my laziness, I'm intended for greater things...

Yup... was thinking about that I was playing wow tonight.

Just Do It

Yes... work stuff is fun... Video games are fun... Toga parties are fun... Thats my life in a cookie jar

BC party

So at the risk of offending people in BC that I havent seen since arriving the other day (and possibly wont see due to the busyness and nature of my visit) here I am.

I've spent most of my trip out here quite sick. First it was because of the rapid and all-encompassing strip-mall-ification of my home town... Swear to god, I love starbucks... but theres like 11 more within walking distance of my parents house... and my parents live on a farm which is moderately well removed from from the city (although they do have city water, dsl internet connections, mail boxes, and garbage pick-up... all those modern conveniences I didnt get in my 12 years living here)

But yes... and if it isnt a strip mall, its a cancerous growth of townhomes... Don't worry folks... 300k will get you a nice little starter townhome with a LOVELY view into the bedroom of the exact same townhouse across the 14' wide alley (from both the front and back)

My parents dog's hate me... well... the jack russel terrier does... she just snarls and bites whenever I am nearby. The chiuauas just pee... on whatever and whoever is near them when I am around...

Yup...

I suppose I should make the most of my visit and get off the computer. I dedicate this video to Matty, Amb-sie-poo, and -J...

Yes Yes, My life is Sad

I have accepted the fact that in many ways I am a sad pathetic person. That being said, (regardless of the activity) if you devote the better part of 5 weeks on something, something that only a few thousand people in the world have done, it's gratifying and satisfying to have it done. So I present to you a screenshot of our Kael'thas Sunstider kill.



Yes ladies and gentlemen, that tall gangly pink haired troll is me. And around me are 24 of the 30 or so people who are as sad and pathetic as I am. Be happy for us.

A Message for the E-Stalkers

I think I've been getting too much vitamin D as of late... I really need a week or two where I can lock myself indoors...

My tanlines are becomming unhealthy, really they are.

I spent near all of my sparetime these last few days watching a show called Dexter. And I'm sure all the highlands people are tired of hearing about it, but I really do feel that show is the best I have seen in a long time (thanks pastor 'drew).

The premise is the life and adventures of a csi-style blood-spatter-analysis guy. The twist is he's a sociopath witha desire to kill, and uses his relations within the police force to track down and murder serial killers.

The characters are all so... developed? I dunno. They feel like real people, and interact how you would expect real people would react. All of them.

The show is graphic (think if CSI didnt have to worry about being syndicated for a 1pm afternoon slot) and a lot of the time the only thing that gets you through it is the fact that the sociopathic protaganist gets his jollies from a crime scene (btw, I should mention that if you have a queasy stomache, this show probibly wont be for you... it gets pretty grotesque).

The entire first season was rivetting. I honestly couldn't wait to watch the next episode (even though I had to) and now I cant wait for it to get on DVD so I can watch it again with the bonus features...

Yup...

I should probibly sleep...

Everyone be aware that August first is take back the rainbow day... feel free to ask for an explainatio)

O.M.G.

First off I heard a little girl yesterday say "Look mommy! he's riding a unipopcicle"

second is... this video... mesmerizing

Gonna try to be deep

I dislike being told that I don't understand, or worse yet that I can't understand. Sometimes it's justified and it's something I won't understand even if I really really try (the female hormone cycle, for example... It's one of those things you can't really understand until it's happened to you... thankfully for me it hasn't).

I had someone offload on me the otherday about the problems they have with they're own body image. I did my best to remain sympathetic and let her do most of the talking, but she ended it with "I dunno why I'm telling you this, you won;t understand". I interjected and asked what she could possibly mean, and what it boiled down to was - Neal is skinny, therefore Neal should be exempt from problems with body image.

This has bothered me, and since this is my blog, I'm gonna share a few things.

I am really REALLY skinny. With the exception of a few months (maybe closer to a year) in my entire life, I have been at a body weight that most people would consider unhealthy.

I can touch my middle fingers and thumbs around my upper thigh, and am within a few inches of being able to do it around my waist.

I am very skinny.

I also suffer from poor body image; Some days I look in the mirror and see myself as so skinny I feel natious. Some days I look in the mirror and see drooping and jiggling where I don't feel I should.

On days when I do feel good about myself, I am often bombarded by people like myself in the media. People my size are usually stock characters, and we're not usually the guy that gets the girl, or the guy that saves the day (with a few exceptions). We are nerdy. We are unsocialized. We are ridiculed. And we are instantly identified by our size.

Some days I wish I was the guy with the rock hard abs, walking around with no shirt on as all the ladies swoon while I pass.

I dont really know where I'm going with this... But I hope I made some sort of point... Western society bombards us all with unattainable goals of appearance, and then mock us when we can't get there. None of us are exempt. If you dont believe me, watch a show like "americas next top model" or "project runway" and listen to what the models say "my collar bone sticks out too much" "my torso is too long" "my knees are too fat" "my nose is too big"... These people, who are paid to be epitomy of perfection, are just as insecure as any of us... So please don't say I won;t understand...

I cut grass, I eat I sleep...

On another note, several of my viewers have wondered what the original soundtrack to that last video I posted could possibly be...



I think the rap fits better =P

Update

Yes yes... I'm sorry..

Theres really just not that much going on in my life... unless you wanna hear all about grass or A'lar...

You do?

Grass is good... but I think it's funny that I'm allowed to mow the grass in the mornings, but as soon as someone needs to mow it in the afternoon "omg! you've never double cut before! oh noes! is there someoneone else! omg omg omg omg!!!"

I got employee of the week too! All I did was not screw up as much as I normally do, and pretend to think for myself... More or less the sam things that got me through high school...

Warcrack is going well... our progress is picking up and I have some sweet ass lootz...

yeah..

I'm moving on thursday... should be FUN! woot woot!

I hate moving... but I think I would hate living on the streets even more...

Movingin with Zach for those of you who don't know... He was my roommate second year of college... probibly the only person who playe more videogames then me...

Yup... my life is le boring...

So if you've ever wondered "what would happen if I took some archived movies of 1960's choreography and played modern rap overtop of the video" boy do I ever have the video for you...

I assure you this video WAS NOT made for this song... Which makes it all the more amazing

Full swing

Things are almost back to "normal" at the golf course... which is nice...

My days are mostly spent off in my own little world on or behind some sort of mower listening to music...

The radio is my best friend again... and of course there are a few songs I truely adore...

Since I dont have anything to blog about... here are those songs... Enjoy

Peter, Bjorn and John (ft Victoria Bergsman) - Young Folk


The Fratellis - Flathead


Plain White Tees - Hey There Delilah


Tim Armstrong - Into Action (Ft Skye Sweetnam)



SOme of the videos are cheese, I know... but at least the songs are catchy XD

Grass

So... we spend weeks upon weeks fretting over grass...

"It's too cold to take the tarps off"
"oh noes! it's dead"
"work the seams"
"it's too wet"
"It's too dry"
"get 'er done"
"looking good"

Just when I thought it was safe (afterall, all the sod was down) a new twist

"Neal! Take the new guy and bury all the sod with sand"

Well... thats not what he said, but thats what he wanted us to do...

SO we managed to get 3.75 greens covered... The biggest one required about 500 lbs (I kid you not) of sand to complete... All of which needed to be scooped from buckets by hand and placed on the greens in an organised pattern...

Now the first problem, is each bucket of sand weighs about as much as I do (I can support myself from a bar with one hand, but I could barely support the bucket with two)

The second problem was my coworker... He's new, and seems afraid... I dont know what, but even my bosses assistant (the one who's usually quite keen on the "no talk =>better work" theory) comment on how quiet he was...

I tried for 4 hours (really I tried) but to no avail. He plays handbells... but wouldnt talk about them... he's taking science at school... but wouldnt talk about that... He's a christian... still nothing to talk about... He likes outdoorsy activities... but nothing came out of that either(I dont know what I could add to a conversation about that... so maybe it is my fault)...

Eventually I gave up and listened to the radio...

At least he's a really hard worker and follows directions well...

I dont know if I could have made it an entire day if the conversationw as lacking AND we couldnt accomplish anything...

Ugly Postcard Competition

A little bit about this historical competition...

It was started many years ago by a creepy (very) old man, named Scott, who ended up being shipped off to colorado for the summer as a job placement (fun!)

He made the request, and his friends complied, and out of this came the ugly postcard competition (if any of you would like to add to the history of this, feel free to do so)...

Anyone can participate... Just send in an ugly post card... You don't actually have to know any of us, or anything about Edmonton, or Canada... if you are reading this, you are eligble...



a few prize catagories are (but not limited to)
Ugliest postcard
First runner up
Second runner up
Best Effort
Ugliest postcard sent in by a pirate
Ugliest postcard sent in by a ninja
AND from Amber's addition last year
Prettiest postcard!! (its the blooper prize)



So yes...

Send now, send often...



J. Jassmann
c/o Our Saviour Lutheran Church
795 West Island Highway
Parksville, British Columbia
V9P 1B9

after august you will have to send your postcards to

11164 69th street
Edmonton, AB
T5B 1R4

Moved

New place, high above the city... Even the refinieries look pretty at night.

Accepting housewarming gifts!

Need to sleep (leaving early for work since I dont know how long it'll take me to peddal there...

Neal

<3

It's nice to be on a mower again...

all this manual labor was getting tiresome

Sod

How to Sod a Golfcourse

So... You start by cutting up a dead green and seperating the two types of grass 1) dead grass 2) moderately less dead grass

Put the dead grass in a compost pile, put the less dead grass in a neat pile all rolled up.

Load less dead grass in a cart and move it off to a shady loaction.

Unroll less dead grass in predeterminded shady location.

Get told less dead grass is too unorgansised.

Roll less dead grass, move over two feet, unroll (repeat ad infinitum)

Decide on location of where less dead grass should go.

Roll less dead grass.

Put less dead grass in cart.

Get told there are two types of less dead grass, both of which you now have in cart.

Transport both less dead grass.

Unroll less dead grass.

Sort less dead.

Roll one of less dead grasses, unroll the other less dead grass.

Transport the rolled less dead grass and transport it back to start.

Unroll transported less dead grass.

Return to less dead grass.

Cut less dead grass until sufficient amounts are of relatively equal lengths.

Place less dead grass in appropriate location.

Cut less dead grass so the pieces fit.

Find more less dead grass from a different location (which ends up being the first location but a different first location)

Put new less dead grass with old less dead grass (at appropriate location)

Roll up unused less dead grass.

Return to different first same location.

Unroll less dead grass.

Return to other less dead grass.

Place other elss dead grass in cart.

Find other less dead grass, and slightly living grass, throw in same cart as otger less dead grass.

I've been earning my wage, you better belive it.

Soup... and not the edible kind

So the weather left the parts of the course we needed to drive on in quite a state...

A least 6 inches of swamplike mud on all of the non paved paths... Everythig is filthy...

It's still cold... but it's a bareable cold now...

Indeed

Work work work

Why, oh why, does it have to start snowing the day I start working outdoors again?

*shudder*

at least i remembered two pairs of gloves (oherwise it would have been way too cold)

Work is good. Everyone has gotten back into the routine of making fun of me (ah ha ha ha ha... neal doesn't have his drivers liscense lets stand around and make him park all the workmans... bwahahahah...)

Other than that, everything is pretty enjoyable.

The fences came down a lot faster than they went up, the hay is a lot easier to deal with when you're not trying to spread it evenly, and picking up garbage when there isnt waist high grass isn't my least favourite chore.

Theres a new guy whos started today with me. He asked me if we normally got to take so many breaks (no we dont) so I hope he doesnt get to used to the 45 minutes of work 45 minutes of break routine.

Oh, and for those of us retouring to Highlands this eyar (or those of you joining us)... The snow came to quick so the ground didnt have time to freeze before it was insulated. Almost all the greens have severe winter kill, and we will be resodding... A LOT of resodding (when I asked in comparison to last year, they laughed and told me we barely did any sodding last year) *shudder*

on a very light note

An update

...

Yup...

that's about everything...

Work starts at the golf course on monday (although checking the weather, I hope thats still the case)

I am terribly excited...

Can you watch it with a straight face?

What not to do...

Note for all my readers...

When people are walking down a dark deserted street, a flash of bright light WILL draw their attention... This is an unavoidable fact...

So if you are in a ground floor bedroom turning on the lights with the blinds open before you put on any sort of clothing...

I mean, I don't want to sound like a prude, but I was just as surprised as they were...

The truth

Have you ever told someone how you really truely felt?

Sometimes it takes a lot of courage, but it usually ends up paying off... right?

I told my boss how I felt...

I don't appreciate being told, on one hand, that if I treat the druggies the crackheads and thw whores any different than any of the rest of the customers I'll be fired, but, on the other hand, being told that I'm being too nice to the widower who's son has left her to California to live happily with his wife...

And then not being told the work schedual more than 48 hours in advance (that's right folks I was schedualed to work sunday morning... but I wouldn't have found that out until I went into work at 11pm on friday night... giving me all of 34hours between when i got off and when I started...)

needless to say i said no to that idea...

Actually... I didnt say no... I said never... I also said something along the lines of "if I'm expected to do my job then why the hell aren't you doing your job"...

So keeping up with that tradition...

You're a crazy bitch... and living in the same house with you has been the bane of my existence for the last two months... No, I dont think your behaviors are normal or justified; in fact I think childish and deviant are much more accurate.

I swallow my toungue every time you ask me for advice because telling the truth would make our living situation that much more unbearable.

And no, I didn't want this FUCKING bed in my goddamn room...

That's why it's never been set-up...

In fact I'll return it soon...

Enjoy...

God that felt good

On the plus side... only a few more months til I move out...

=D

Been Tagged...

First a note..

I truely hate my job... I hate the customers, who are the emitomy of slime and make me think twice of the social programs I would normally support without question... I dislike my boss who's only form of discipline is writing a note in a book for everyone to see detailing what stupid thing you've done wrong with no advice on how to recitify the situation or how to follow proper protocol... I hate a lot of my cowokers... well... I dont hate the ones that are still here, but 4 have quit/been fired/given notice since I started a month ago... not too shabby considering we started with 11 employees...

yes..

so...

Being tagged appears to imply that I have to share 6 random things about me... I shall try my best to be completely random...

1) The first thing I do whenever I turn on my computer is disable quicktime... I know there are ways to permanently disable, or simply stopping it from automatically starting up on login, and I've done both... but for so long I've been logging in and turning it off that it doesn't feel like my computer if I don't do it (so I set it back)

2) When I feel sad or lonely I stare at my desktop picture... the bird looks as sad and lonely as I feel some days... it makes me feel better...

3) I like my sneakers to be exceptionally grubby... My last pair of converse looked awsome, but I had to stop wearing them most of the time cuz I wore holes in the leather... dirt and stains are cool by me, but holes make you look poor...

4) Wolf blass is (and has been for a while) my favourite winery... I would drink it by the barrelful if I had the money

5) The smell of stale coffee is almost as effective as the smell of oranges at making me feel queezy... who would have thought something I <3 so much could have something in common with something I
6) I've prayed the rosary more times in the last month than I've "normal" prayed... Despite what I may not like of the Catholic church, the rosary is a very helpful prayer tool... today I will be covering the sorrowful mysteries...

And since it appears I get to tag people myself... I will choose randomly... Morg-o, Lauren, Vince, Chelsea... i don't know how many I'm supposed to randomly choose... 4 seems like a nice low random number...