The topic is 'Stupid Questions':
Criteria- It needs to be a question that was asked to you or a fellow employee (preferably in your presence), feel free to embelish (I don't know how to spell that word) but I would prefer if you didn't outright lie... often these things are a lot more funny when theyre as acurate to the situation as possible (after all, there is a reason these questions stick out as being stupid)
Also, I ask that (if necissary) you add a little tagline explaining why the question is funny... for example:
'Do you sell lotto here?'... this is not a funny question... But, when I explain that while this man was asking this question he was standing 1/2 a foot away from a counter covered with a large display of scratch'n'win tickets, as well as a large '6/49-Super7 Jackpot Sign' to his direct right, smaller but equally noticable '6/49-Super7 Jackpot Sign' directly behind me (in front of him) and a large lotto validation machine on a counter beneath that.
No sir. What could have given you that impression.
Anyways, I hope this all makes sense...
I'll start us off with a bunch of questions I have had...
'Are we near the ferries?' (The ocean is nowhere in sight from our gas station... I really wish people would just say 'I'm lost, which way to the ferries' rather than trying act surprised when i tell them theyre quite a ways off...)
Do I have to prepay? (most of these are asked after I announce over the intercom that durinfg the graveyard shift all pumps are prepay or pay at the pump only... are they expecting me to say 'Nope! Gotcha! hahahaha!!!' cuz I'll start doing it if theyll leave sooner)
Do you guys have a washroom? (No, since we are not privilaged enough to be a part of a cushy union, we at petro can are required to urinate behind the ABM machine (it's not an ATM)... Seriously, whens the last time you were at a gas station with a couple thousand square feet of retail space that didnt have a public washroom?)
Do you carry american brands of Cigareetes? (is that even legal? I dont think so... I don't even think were allowed to sell albertan cigarrettes... you might as well be asking for LSD (which probibly wouldnt be very hard for me to get you... this is cloverdale afterall))
can I get that discount if I don't buy gas? (Okay, so you know the discount, so youve read the sign... 'Save $ With Purchase of Gas'... 'With' is the important work in that sentance)
I hope to hear some of your guys' questions... I'll try to think of more... DON'T BE SHY!
4 comments:
Okay...I completely relate with you, Neal. As a manager of a national video store chain, I come across a lot of stupid questions every day. Here are a few just off the top of my head:
"You don't sell phone cards here, do you?" (Now, that seems like a stupid question at first, but we actually do sell Rogers phone cards because we actually sell Rogers Wireless phones.)
"Yes, we do. They come in $10, $20, $30, & $40 denominations."
"Okay, I'll get a $25 Telus card."
(Seriously...I don't think I need to explain why that comment was so stupid!)
We occasionally have a sale on our $9.99 previously viewed DVDs at 2 for $15. This means that when you buy two (marked at $9.99), they are $15.00 + tax.
"I only want one."
"Then it's $9.99."
"What if I buy three?"
"Then two are $15 and one is $9.99."
"Blockbuster sells theirs at $7.99 each."
Then why are you here?! GO TO BLOCKBUSTER! (P.S. Blockbuster's movies are edited and rated...Rogers doesn't edit the 'unrated' versions of films.)
No one can understand the return time for movies. It's very simple. 11pm on the day that it is due. Not 11:15, not 11:30, not midnight....11:00PM!
"That was due back Saturday night by 11pm."
"It was returned before your store opened."
"That would mean it was returned after midnight...we close at midnight to offer a one hour buffer for people returning their movies late."
"But I returned it on time."
"You just said our store was closed."
"It was."
"Then it was late."
"Are you calling me a liar?"
"Yes, yes, I am!"
OH! My favourite question most recently:
As a customer approaches the counter holding our monthly magazine that contains the release dates for upcoming movies, he has the magazine opened to this page, points to a movie title and asks "Why can't I find this on the wall?" The customer fails to notice the GIANT RED BOX next to the movie title that says 'COMING NEXT MONTH'.
That felt good.
Thanks for the chance to bitch about my customers, Neal! :)
Perfect! Nice to know the people that are buying gas at my store, are also renting movies from yours!
Ok heres a few:
A guys comes through the Drive-Thru at my Restaurant and the crew person can't hear him give his order. He finally pulls up to the cash window and sounding muffled Says "Why couldnt I hear you?" *tap, tap, tap* - Then he rolled his window down.
Another:
"Can I get a different toy, My Child already has this one."
"Sure here are the Choices"
"You've had that one for the last 3 days, my daughter doesn't want another"
"We will start the next toy when we are out of these ones, In the mean time you may want to go home and feed your child some vegtables instead of stuffing her face with a Cheeseburgers, Frys, and Soda Pop, every day. Unless of course you want a fatass Kid. Maybe her friends could call her Fatass Fran, or Cow, or Whale. Maybe they will Chant Mooo! or Oink! over and over until she becomes a social outcast and kills herself. Fuck! Talk about Bad Parenting."
Whew! I'll stop for now.
Fine, Jenn... I'll leave you alone =(
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