Reflections on BC

*Warning Warning*

I may have umm... emitted a clear salty (non-crying) substance... or something... when I was writing this...

You have been warned...

So it should come as no surprise to anyone who reads me blog, we are into the final hours of my time of calling BC home...

So I let it slip a while ago, that I'm a hopeless romantic... You know, what with the fog and everything... I also am a sucker for fond memories... If I was capable of crying (you know how the whole robot/devoid of human emotion thing works) reflecting on all the things I've had that I will be giving up, or have already given up in the years leading up to this big move, would probibly make me do it...

And besides... seems like everyone else had made these shout out feel good / feel bad posts in recent...

Oh... BTW, if you're an E-Town friend, these posts wont refer to you... so don't even bother =P

Anyways... I should also note that there are a lot of memories that i have, but I'm not gonna sit here and write for the next 4 hours... So I may miss things... If you feel its important, just put it in the comments ;)

*cough cough* in no particular order

We've shared a lot of good times, and a heck of a lot of memories. If I said you played a part in my faith today, I'd be lying. You played a HUGE part. Wednesday's homework and tea or countless hours of Mario party or a linoleum floor that never looked as ungreen as it was intended to. Some people say that you're hard to handle, that they don't undestand how to deal with you. None of that is relevant to me, because I've been allowed onto the other side. Whatever defenses you have to keep people from hurting you, I have seen through it. I am truely able to care for you because I can see you care for me. I hope that one day you will see how many people there are that love you, because once you understand that we love you, and why, i think that will be key to understanding how you can love yourself...

We were the two with freaky addiction. Well, i had the freaky addiction, and you danced along (although I'd like to think that enjoyed it... and I'm pretty sure you did... I know how I get with my addictions). I long for the days where we could disappear for hours at a time to the dark corner, only to reappear for a break at orange julius. Although things haven't been the same since I moved to edmonton almost four years ago, I know that we still have a connection, that regardless of how long we may go without saying a word to each other, whenever we're together it will always be like we'd never parted.

It's been almost a year since the last time we talked, and i don't even know if you're reading this. Phone conversations that lasted for hours, sleep overs, and parties. The commute was always a pain, but we endured. We once considered ourselves the best of friends, and so much of what we shared is pivital to who I am today. I grew up because of you, because I so desired to be a part of your life, always expecting that things would work out in the end. I'm sad to say it doesn't look like the're going to be. I believe in part, our friendship was doomed to fail, tainted by myself. I wished every relationship you had would fail, in the hopes that one day you would realize how much I cared for you and tell me how much you cared for me. I truely am sorry.

Seems like only yesterday you we're one of taras youth, running around shooting finger blasters at one Mr Schultz. Back then I envied you, becasue I didnt quite have a faith of my own, or a close group of friends, and you, several years my junior, seemed to have both. It's only recently that I've been able to meet you as a person, rather than as a giggly girl from youth. I can't remember a time when someone threw me a party every time I bought a new pair of shoes, but it seems like we're almost getting to that point. I'm glad that i make you laugh, and i hope that I can continue to make you laugh.

I think you're the one that understands the most. Things are so much different on the other side. Our friendship seems so strained now that we live so close together. I cannot say why, but I know that the friendship we share is true, but we just need to find out how we can make it work in our new environment. You we're my first all night gaming session with a non-family member... And the fact that we had to wait until you're mom was out of town made it feel all the more taboo ;)

If I we're to name one person who understood the gaming aspect of my life, you would be it. I know koreans who claim to be gaming experts who play less video and computer games than you. You opened my world to warcraft, and provided me with the ability to play it... over and over and over... SOmehow I knew it would come to an end, but somehow I figured it would be one of us getting a 9-5 job that would prevent us from playing games until 6am... I forever will be the gutterball champion, the wmw champion, and the master of all things carbonated! You can have DWI, socks, and computer programming...

Honest to god, its 5am in the morning... I'll add more later... If you're absolutely peeved that i forgot you, post a comment,a nd I'll be sure to do you first (I may not get a chance before I get back to edmonton)