Ah yes...
So I lit the house on fire... and let me share with you, more or less how it happened (I say more or less because I know for a fact that if I stray from the truth even slightly, morgan and regan will pounce on me)...
Tonight was the mighty fondue night... which i would say was quite the success...
But after an hour or so, the fondue torch ran out of fuel, so I needed to refil the apperati... Which went sort of well... assides from the fact that my shaky hand spilled some of the fuel... so when we ignited the torch, my hand went up too...
and the carpet...
and the table...
and part of the wall...
and a napkin (oh lord, not the napkin)
I suppose I'll let it stand as that for right now... I will open my comments to interperutations of the ff'06 (fondue fire, 2006)... Perhaps I will give prizes based on the best told (without lying) story...
yes... perhaps prizes indeed...
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I always thought working in retail is bad... Turns out the people that shop are the people I live with... Share in our somewhat interesting stories, will you...
14 comments:
Here's what my thoughts were the time of the great fire of FF'06.
We're sitting there when I see the shrimp go up. Here's what went through my head...I don't think any was vocalized...
"Ok, just the shrimp, we'll get it out...oh shit, there's more flame...Oh God, please don't let it hit the carpet..."
"SHIT, it hit the carpet...where's the door, gotta get out. Hey, where's my wallet, I've still got time to get my wallet...oh hey!...they've got baking soda...oh and there's my wallet."
"Ok, Leah, hold up a little...it's under control....just pretend like you wanted to stay out of the way...yes, that's it".
Thus ending my take on the FF'06.
WATER WATER!!
what, oil fire??
NO WATER NO WATER!!!
looking throw the eyes and mind of regan.....
wow neals entire silver thingy is on fire....thats not right?? i don't think
oh there goes the shirmp ring, and the table, oh in comes a napkin??? what dork tryd to put it out the fire with a napkin?? fess up!!! ohh maybe it was already on the floor! good thought!
stand regan, theres fire on the ground, look around, yeah first to stand when there a fire on the carpet. yeah me!!!
leah and kelsey
are practicly out the door now and neals doing a hawiian hulu over the fire while he dances all over his shirt.
So were sitting there waiting for the burner to be refueled to, when all of a sudden when relighting the burner starts flaming in areas where is shouldn't be flaming.
It spreads...
At this point our hero backs up in his chair.
Because he is a freaken wuss, he sits back and lets the other people put out the fire as he sits there and lets other people attempt to put it out.
Just then he spills gingerale on his pant leg.
Then the fires out and the the carpet looks more blemishfull then it did just 1 minute previous
You should put up pictures of the aftermath :0P
So here we go, lighting the fondue thinger for Neal, boy thats a big flame, meh whatevs... turn around to put lighter back, turn back towards the living room and- SHITFUCKFUCKFUCKSHIT MY EFFING HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!! Okay, run to kitchen fill up glass of water run back to living room FUCKIMANIDIOTTHISISANOILFIREANDTHEFUCKINGFIRESPERADTOTHECARPET (at this point visions of my house burning down are flashing through my head.) Must put fire out how, what? Baking soda, yes, okay, oh evans got it now and neal is beating the fire with his shirt MOVETHEFUCKINGTVHOLYSHIT... and its out.
Yeah, thats pretty much what went through my mind. We have a more... artsy carpet now.
okay... so here's how it REALLY went down.
neal notices the flame thingy-ma-bob is out. he thinks to himself... 'hmm, this party is having a bit of a down-spell. let's see if we can't shake things up a bit' (since we all know that neal is really the life of the party... and if it bombs, it'd be his fault for not being on the ball). so, deciding that NOW is as good a time as any and using the fondue flame as a reasonable excuse, neal DOUSES himself in fuel and lights up. at first we're all like, 'ooohh... pretty neal.' and then the shrimp ring goes up... well, that was it. NOT the shrimp. so you hear "SHITFUCKSHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT. FUCK FUCK FUCK. ...and so on" we managed to put out the shrimp fire no problem... so neal decided that was no good (his thought bubble -> "COME ON GUYS! i'm providing the entertainment... WORK WITH ME HERE! oh fuck it... looks like i'm gonna have to get freakay!") and so, neal THROWS himself onto the floor, igniting the carpet... table... wall... napkin... etc. and screaming out (like a little girl. he does that sometimes ;) ) for somebody to stop, drop, and roll on him. with the help of some ready, able, and willing boys they managed to safely smother the neal flame. and somehow ended up with neal standing around without his shirt on... the ONLY one without his shirt on, i might add. and unfortunately that is all the detail i am at liberty to disclose... i'm sure that if you know neal, you can pretty accurately guess at the rest *wink wink*
HAHAHA!!! you <3 me :D
i vote ambers as the winner, she used the most bad words!!!
I'm liking Ambers
I'm sorry...I'm the odd one out...I like Morgan's the best...hey Morgan! ;0)
morgans does seem a little biased, but a lot more accurate...
=)
So sad I was not there to see it... where was I you ask... I dont know! Sad isnt it that your friends dont invite you to the fire of the year. I think so. So here is my story... Alyson is sitting at home with her boyfriend.What are they doing? Nothing, what could they be doing? Enjoying a nice hot meal/fire dance with said friends. (But I was with my boy, so i am not complaining any longer.)
amber invited you...
I can fwd you the email she sent you....
i agree... morgan's post is definitely the most accurate. i'm learning about the importance of accuracy, mowing those beautiful beautiful lines! :)
and now answer me this... how am i biased?
(p.s. this better not be some lame-o prize, like that little 'blurb' i won from justin... that i had to share! i didn't even get to keep the good part! ... not bitter... ;) )
I said nothing about sharing it, the only reason you shared it was to ease your guilty conscience and help you sleep better.
And just think I had actaully intended on giving a prize. It was a Chocolate Hedgehog from Purdys, but I decided to eat it instead.
And for those straight lines, go to the top of Ada and look at those "straight lines" (Just kidding, Im being a jerk now)
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