Saturday, July 16, 2005

'Nother Normal Night

I'm sure you can guess from the title, that there isnt much to say, but humour me and keep readin please...

My night started off rather simply...

A few drunk teenagers trying to buy smokes... retarded adults smoking cigarettes in front of the pumps... A slurpee mess or two... Lonely old ladies whom I ask of their day adn get their life story, complete with tear jerkers such as '... and he hasn't called since I got out of the hospital" or "... and thats when my 5th dog died"...

*yawn* yup pretty boring night...

Oh... and some lamerz came in dressed up in costume from the Harry Potter book party... actually one lamerz... and one lamerz with a sword/wand too...

But I digress...

Then it all happened...

I was washing dishes (enough to be said)
with pop songs and showtunes dancing 'round in my head

When out in the entrance there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my sink to see 'twas the matter

On the front tile, standing alone was one
Crackhead grinning for the things he had done

The magnetic locks on the door he bypassed
by wretching and pulling and working his ass (off)

Bewildered I stood there until I could shout
"You Asshole! You fuckhead! You're not welcome! Get Out!"

He approached the till, I started to yell
A line he had crossed, I knew he could tell


I'm finding it hard to rhyme now (its time for bed me thinks) So I'll just finish the story...

When he arrived the door was locked, so he wretched on it to open it, I freaked right out (I actually screamed at him)... I totally thought that tonight was my night to get robbed... He looked like a fucking cracker that you would normally see on those "this is why you never do heroin" movies that the VPD puts out every year... Or one of those real tv movies where the guy jumps across the counter with a needle filled with god only knows what liquid screaming how if everything doesnt go their way someone isgoing to get infected with aids...

He tried to give me excuses like "I didnt know the door was locked" (but with the amount of noise the doors made in opening, I can't imagine he couldnt have known) and then he tried to tell me that he would come back after I [me] had "calmed down"...

I told him that if he came back I would call the cops on sight...

When he left, I locked the doors using the manual lock, and then I went to the washroom to clean the mess I had left in my pants...

good night

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Props' for rhyming ass and bypass(ed) ten points!

Share said...

i might have looked lame-o coming to your station, but i swear i was a hit with all the 9 year olds at Chapters.

they were practically mobbing me for autographs.

yes, im that cool.

and nice rhyming... i get choked up when i think of all your talent!