Revenge of the Slurpee Machine

Ah ha ha!

Today I was brought to tears... And I'm not joking... And you don't need to worry... It was the good type of crying... The kind you get when revenge has itself a party in the most comical method possible!

Let me paint you a picture. The day was the 18th of July, 2005… It was warm, but not too war; Humid, but not too humid; Breezy but not too breezy… In other words it was a perfect day (if I hadn’t have been working I, myself, would have braved the outdoors in an attempt to get to the beach… yes, me willingly go outside… Conveniently, I was working)

Anyways, several hundred customers come through our store, as per the warm day, many buying ice and slush and ice cream and other cool items, obviously to compliment (and contrast) the beautiful cloudless day outside…

Of course many people acknowledged that they were sorry for me stuck inside all day…

Meh…

Anyways, we were selling a LOT! Of slurpees… I need to emphasize that, because its important to the story

Of course, when we sell a lot of slurpees, the machine tends to get quite runny… The machine falling behind demand in its ability to freeze the slurpee goo causes this…

Now a problem with this, is most often people continue to pour slurpee from un-frozen machines, and the unfrozen goo is unable to hold as much CO2… Inevitably, when enough un-frozen slush is poured, a build up of unused CO2 occurs in the machine. When the slush has enough time to freeze, it becomes super saturated in CO2, which, to say the least, encourages the slurpee to leave the machine when it is poured…

This is where it becomes important to read signs, for after a few customers had the cups knocked out of their hands from the exuberant semi solid, we put up a sign that said “out of order” in order to dissuade people from using the machine until it had sorted out its on problems (a rehab for slurpees, if you may)…

Now as implied, if you leave the machine it its own devices, its supposed to sort itself out its own problems… And given time, they almost always do (unless they run out of goo, CO2, or purified water… those you have to fix for it)…

But at the idea of being ignored, this slurpee machine decided to make one final desperate cry for attention…

Let me reiterate the necessity for reading signs! READ THEM! They are not for our benefit!

Anyways, a gentleman, completely disregarding the sign, decides “MmmmMmmm Coke slurpee”

He begins to ‘pour’

This is where the roffle moment happens…

The slurpee explodes (not kidding it made a boom sound) from the nozzle.

Not a word of a lie, the guy was COVERED from just below his neck to just above his knee…

There was also a spray across the corner of the store (some of the slush not obstructed by the man was able to make it a good 10 feet away from the machine)…

There was SO much slurpee everywhere…

I was laughing so hard, I tried to gain composure and offer an apology to the man, but I couldn’t… He totally deserved it…

At least I can be sure that he will always follow posted signs from now on…

I was actually made so happy by this happening that I didn’t mind the 25 minutes it took to clean up all the goo everywhere… including the huge amounts of goo that dripped off of him while he was cleaning up in the bathroom