Two Short Stories for Your Amusement

I dedicate this first story to Share and Jo. May this story bring as much joy to you as it did to me! Keep reaching for that rainbow.

So I am serving customers (wow, eh?) when a slightly larger kid comes up the the counter. He was pastey as could be (would have made me look like an 80 year old beach bunny for sure)

but

he was totally decked out in baller clothes (hence the dedication at the beginning of the story). I'm talking baby blue jersey, bling, matching baby blue pants, bling, pimp glasses, bling, a durag, and bling... Did I mention he had more than his fair share of bling?

It was quite the sight to see.

What transpired next is beyond comprehension... His phone rang...

'Wow' you're thinking..

He answers his phone as follows

"Yo, yo, yo! Wuz up boyyyyyyyyz!" AND there was coriography (even though I dont think there was anyone in the store with him)... It wqas a triple hand jab on the 'yo yo yo' complete with side stepping action...

I was almost moved to tears...



My second story involves a couple comming into the store and asking for a box of condoms...

I pick up one of the boxes from behind the counter and start the transaction when the gentleman asks the girl to grab him a slurpee as well (while he does the debit)...

As she is walking over, he quickly leans in and asks "do you.. umm... have them in a smaller size?"

Now I'm not one to make fun of people because of their penis size, and don't get me wrong, thats not what I'm doing here... It's just the idea that this guy could be so embarassed to ask for a smaller size, when she obviously knows, or is going to find out soon enough...

I mean she asked for the condoms first, it's not like she's gonna be like "teenie weenie? no thank you!"

She came back over to the counter and asked what we were talking about... He looked like he was going to die!

"I'm sorry, we don't have the ultra thins... we do have these" and I pulled out the studded condoms...

He seemed so relieved... As if I had saved his sex life for another 15 minutes (at least until he could get her home and get the lights off)