So there are various types of drinkers in the world, and I'm not talking about heavy drinkers, social drinkers, or alcoholics...
I'm talking the personality types of people who drink...
Last night, I was on duty... So I didn't get to partake in the evenings festivities... But I was still awake when the guys came home, and we were exposed to every type of drinker imaginable...
For you're amusement, and mine, let me run over the different types of personalities that we're present yesterday...
Philosopher: Insists on speaking in a manner of "higher" intellect... "higher" is in brackets due to the fact that stumbling through words you heard once on Dawsons Creek to the point that you can barely make coherent sentance, does not constitute higher inteleect... Also, arguing in circles and talking in metaphores should be avoided, especially when drunk, if you want to appear smarter than you actually are...
Crier: Every hardship in life culminates into this one evening... Your parents don't love you? start crying... You're not doing as well in your classes as you could be? cry harder... Someone stole you're favourite christmas pencile in grade 2? start sobbing uncontrollably...
Regretter: This is the person who, upon waking up in the morning, is thinking "oh god... I hope everyone else was aas drunk as I was"... Can someone say damage control?
Fighter: This person instantly thinks that at the slightest turn in a conversation, or a sudden body movement, is instigation for a fight... Usually this person usually has a vein that pops from their head every time someone doesnt agree with them wholeheartidly
Questioner: By far the one I dislike the least... This person asks STUPID questions... repeatidly! "Do you think I'm drunk? I don't think I'm drunk... but do you think I am?... How much do you think I had to drink tonight... I think I drank a lot, but how much do you think I drank?" ad infinitum... Usually these people are really hard to get into their beds because they question wether they are really drunk, or if they're just wanting to play videogames or if they're hungary... They will usually ask you if any of these conditions apply...
Puker: Everyone knows one of these... As soon as the rye, tequila, gin, amaretto, schnoppes, and the beer mix, it isn't staying down... Do they ever learn? Nope... Do they ever clean up after themselves (apparently not)
Slut: You know the type; as soon as they have a shot of vodka, theres a party in their pants and everyones invited...
Mr.Cheerful: Happy happy happy! (makes me nauseous nauseous nauseous) Honestly, I'm glad that you've been drinking, really I am, but I don;t need to hear about all the things I should be happy about from a drunk person... Especially not at 4am when you're waking up the other dormmates...
I think that about covers the people I'm getting used to dealing with...
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9 comments:
I would like to add "the confessor" to your list. Don't you love those people who get all drunk and tell you things you never wanted to hear like "I'm not really your father" or, "I slept with your girlfriend and she said I was better then you" or "I am really not that attracted to you and I lied when I said I thought your mole was cute". This is usually worse when you are sober to. Man, do I ever hate being the only sober one and driving a Crier, a confessor, and a happy drunk home at 4 in the morning after a hall party.
This might be part of the "Introspective Drunk" but there is the "Zoned-out Drunk" who has no idea whats going on and as a result becomes really quite and spaced out. I think that might be a part or introspective or just a branch off it.
I would say that I'm the questioning/confessor drunk. Although I do posses some of the other characteristics.
hehehe...."I'm not drunk, Neal"
If only I drank... But I don't.. I think I would have to be the dancing drunk.
When I did drink... which I don't anymore... I always started dancing, everywhere.... even on the tables.
I've stopped that... and if I do that now, I am sober.
Jenn
ha ha ha ha - I laugh out loud. Neal, you should really be writing chapters of a book - "Dormies: A Live-in University Experience" or some other creating title.
I believe I would consider myself to be the sober/introspective drunk...oh and I get louder than usual too. Tee hee...
I think I may have possessed most, if nott all, of these personalities sometime during my years of consuming of alcohol. But mostly I get quiet and laid back. No regrets when you say or do nothing.
i think i can name all the guys who came home that night, and which kind of drunk they are.
me, i would say i'm the truthfull drunk. but mostly i'm the life of the party, unless i keep telling myself to be quiet, then i'm the responsable/introspective drunk.
Oh man. I think have been all of the above at one point or another. Mostly I have said and done some stupid but non-harmful things that I would not normally do.
Nothing worse than an unpredictable drunk. I guess that's why I don't drink much anymore. :)
Thanks for the laugh though.
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