Ah ha ha!
Today I was brought to tears... And I'm not joking... And you don't need to worry... It was the good type of crying... The kind you get when revenge has itself a party in the most comical method possible!
Let me paint you a picture. The day was the 18th of July, 2005… It was warm, but not too war; Humid, but not too humid; Breezy but not too breezy… In other words it was a perfect day (if I hadn’t have been working I, myself, would have braved the outdoors in an attempt to get to the beach… yes, me willingly go outside… Conveniently, I was working)
Anyways, several hundred customers come through our store, as per the warm day, many buying ice and slush and ice cream and other cool items, obviously to compliment (and contrast) the beautiful cloudless day outside…
Of course many people acknowledged that they were sorry for me stuck inside all day…
Meh…
Anyways, we were selling a LOT! Of slurpees… I need to emphasize that, because its important to the story
Of course, when we sell a lot of slurpees, the machine tends to get quite runny… The machine falling behind demand in its ability to freeze the slurpee goo causes this…
Now a problem with this, is most often people continue to pour slurpee from un-frozen machines, and the unfrozen goo is unable to hold as much CO2… Inevitably, when enough un-frozen slush is poured, a build up of unused CO2 occurs in the machine. When the slush has enough time to freeze, it becomes super saturated in CO2, which, to say the least, encourages the slurpee to leave the machine when it is poured…
This is where it becomes important to read signs, for after a few customers had the cups knocked out of their hands from the exuberant semi solid, we put up a sign that said “out of order” in order to dissuade people from using the machine until it had sorted out its on problems (a rehab for slurpees, if you may)…
Now as implied, if you leave the machine it its own devices, its supposed to sort itself out its own problems… And given time, they almost always do (unless they run out of goo, CO2, or purified water… those you have to fix for it)…
But at the idea of being ignored, this slurpee machine decided to make one final desperate cry for attention…
Let me reiterate the necessity for reading signs! READ THEM! They are not for our benefit!
Anyways, a gentleman, completely disregarding the sign, decides “MmmmMmmm Coke slurpee”
He begins to ‘pour’
This is where the roffle moment happens…
The slurpee explodes (not kidding it made a boom sound) from the nozzle.
Not a word of a lie, the guy was COVERED from just below his neck to just above his knee…
There was also a spray across the corner of the store (some of the slush not obstructed by the man was able to make it a good 10 feet away from the machine)…
There was SO much slurpee everywhere…
I was laughing so hard, I tried to gain composure and offer an apology to the man, but I couldn’t… He totally deserved it…
At least I can be sure that he will always follow posted signs from now on…
I was actually made so happy by this happening that I didn’t mind the 25 minutes it took to clean up all the goo everywhere… including the huge amounts of goo that dripped off of him while he was cleaning up in the bathroom
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Sunday, July 17, 2005
So Close to Quitting
So I have decided that I hate teenagers...
What is up with Cloverdale, all the kids hink theyre so ghetto, it's sad.
Our store was vandalized yesterday... Tags all over the outside walls...
But I just don't get it. What makes suburban scum like the twits I have to serve think that they have somehow earned cool points by scribbling their names in a semi legible scribble on the side of an establishment... It looked rediculous (as a supporter of urbinity I have learned an appreciation for graffitti performed in an artistic way... this was neither artistic nor was it insired)...
So lame...
And the worst part is you can almost gurantee that this was performed by some little punk ass kid whos parents think they're a little angel...
Oh how I'd love to send one kid (just one) home with a black eye, so that they can try explaining it to their parents (of course I'd have to figure out some way to get it on video so that my outburst would be justified)...
Oh, and another beef... Caught a drunk kid trying to steal red bull last night... As I'm sure you know, trying to reason with drunk people is pointless, and since he's in all the time, i just left it at "I will ban you all from the store next time"...
His friend tried to get in a fighting match with me about how I would not be able to ban him if he didnt do anything...
I hate drunk people... Because you cant reason with them (I decided to put that twice)...
I was tempted to tell them that I can ban people from a private establishment for whatever reason I see fit... (although the public might not like it if I started banning based on gender or race... perhaps I shold start banning caucasian males under the age of 20...)
What is up with Cloverdale, all the kids hink theyre so ghetto, it's sad.
Our store was vandalized yesterday... Tags all over the outside walls...
But I just don't get it. What makes suburban scum like the twits I have to serve think that they have somehow earned cool points by scribbling their names in a semi legible scribble on the side of an establishment... It looked rediculous (as a supporter of urbinity I have learned an appreciation for graffitti performed in an artistic way... this was neither artistic nor was it insired)...
So lame...
And the worst part is you can almost gurantee that this was performed by some little punk ass kid whos parents think they're a little angel...
Oh how I'd love to send one kid (just one) home with a black eye, so that they can try explaining it to their parents (of course I'd have to figure out some way to get it on video so that my outburst would be justified)...
Oh, and another beef... Caught a drunk kid trying to steal red bull last night... As I'm sure you know, trying to reason with drunk people is pointless, and since he's in all the time, i just left it at "I will ban you all from the store next time"...
His friend tried to get in a fighting match with me about how I would not be able to ban him if he didnt do anything...
I hate drunk people... Because you cant reason with them (I decided to put that twice)...
I was tempted to tell them that I can ban people from a private establishment for whatever reason I see fit... (although the public might not like it if I started banning based on gender or race... perhaps I shold start banning caucasian males under the age of 20...)
Saturday, July 16, 2005
'Nother Normal Night
I'm sure you can guess from the title, that there isnt much to say, but humour me and keep readin please...
My night started off rather simply...
A few drunk teenagers trying to buy smokes... retarded adults smoking cigarettes in front of the pumps... A slurpee mess or two... Lonely old ladies whom I ask of their day adn get their life story, complete with tear jerkers such as '... and he hasn't called since I got out of the hospital" or "... and thats when my 5th dog died"...
*yawn* yup pretty boring night...
Oh... and some lamerz came in dressed up in costume from the Harry Potter book party... actually one lamerz... and one lamerz with a sword/wand too...
But I digress...
Then it all happened...
I was washing dishes (enough to be said)
with pop songs and showtunes dancing 'round in my head
When out in the entrance there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my sink to see 'twas the matter
On the front tile, standing alone was one
Crackhead grinning for the things he had done
The magnetic locks on the door he bypassed
by wretching and pulling and working his ass (off)
Bewildered I stood there until I could shout
"You Asshole! You fuckhead! You're not welcome! Get Out!"
He approached the till, I started to yell
A line he had crossed, I knew he could tell
I'm finding it hard to rhyme now (its time for bed me thinks) So I'll just finish the story...
When he arrived the door was locked, so he wretched on it to open it, I freaked right out (I actually screamed at him)... I totally thought that tonight was my night to get robbed... He looked like a fucking cracker that you would normally see on those "this is why you never do heroin" movies that the VPD puts out every year... Or one of those real tv movies where the guy jumps across the counter with a needle filled with god only knows what liquid screaming how if everything doesnt go their way someone isgoing to get infected with aids...
He tried to give me excuses like "I didnt know the door was locked" (but with the amount of noise the doors made in opening, I can't imagine he couldnt have known) and then he tried to tell me that he would come back after I [me] had "calmed down"...
I told him that if he came back I would call the cops on sight...
When he left, I locked the doors using the manual lock, and then I went to the washroom to clean the mess I had left in my pants...
good night
My night started off rather simply...
A few drunk teenagers trying to buy smokes... retarded adults smoking cigarettes in front of the pumps... A slurpee mess or two... Lonely old ladies whom I ask of their day adn get their life story, complete with tear jerkers such as '... and he hasn't called since I got out of the hospital" or "... and thats when my 5th dog died"...
*yawn* yup pretty boring night...
Oh... and some lamerz came in dressed up in costume from the Harry Potter book party... actually one lamerz... and one lamerz with a sword/wand too...
But I digress...
Then it all happened...
I was washing dishes (enough to be said)
with pop songs and showtunes dancing 'round in my head
When out in the entrance there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my sink to see 'twas the matter
On the front tile, standing alone was one
Crackhead grinning for the things he had done
The magnetic locks on the door he bypassed
by wretching and pulling and working his ass (off)
Bewildered I stood there until I could shout
"You Asshole! You fuckhead! You're not welcome! Get Out!"
He approached the till, I started to yell
A line he had crossed, I knew he could tell
I'm finding it hard to rhyme now (its time for bed me thinks) So I'll just finish the story...
When he arrived the door was locked, so he wretched on it to open it, I freaked right out (I actually screamed at him)... I totally thought that tonight was my night to get robbed... He looked like a fucking cracker that you would normally see on those "this is why you never do heroin" movies that the VPD puts out every year... Or one of those real tv movies where the guy jumps across the counter with a needle filled with god only knows what liquid screaming how if everything doesnt go their way someone isgoing to get infected with aids...
He tried to give me excuses like "I didnt know the door was locked" (but with the amount of noise the doors made in opening, I can't imagine he couldnt have known) and then he tried to tell me that he would come back after I [me] had "calmed down"...
I told him that if he came back I would call the cops on sight...
When he left, I locked the doors using the manual lock, and then I went to the washroom to clean the mess I had left in my pants...
good night
Friday, July 15, 2005
Sloppy Children
Yesterday was hot, and I was working the afternoon. I love working on hot afternoons,a s you all know simply for the fact that it means that the slurpee machine is going to be in full swing.
No kidding, the store was backed up about 15 people for about 45 minutes (even though there were two of us running the tills) but eventually the rush subsided, and I was left to survey the damage...
Of our slurpee cups, 6 of the 8 dispensors had been completely drained (I wondered why we were selling so many XL slurpees towards the end of it).
Of our straws, we were out of the colourful novelty size straws and were down to about 20 regular straws.
Of our slurpee, two flavours were completly depleted, and 2 more were on their way...
Of our florr, as im sure you can imagine, it was a colourful mosaic of slurpee goo about 4 1/4" thick, spread from the slurpee area to the magazines to the ice to the washrooms...
I am well aware that my time to clean is limited (slurpee runs always come in waves) so I frantically start stocking and mopping...
I get the floor clean and the straws out before there is a group of people waiting for their turn at the machine...
I am elbowing people in the backs of their heads in order to get the cups out, and I manage to get into the back storage in order to get the slurpee machines all up and running before all hell breaks loose...
The cycle repeats itself, with the back up at the till and what not, as soons as its died down enough I go in to survey the damage... Much the same... I clean stock and fix...
The floor is left to dry, and I return to the till... Not 30 seconds go by, and a man comes up to the counter (walking past the other customers politely waiting in line)
"there was a slurpee spill" [Translation: "I spilled a crapload of slurpee all over the place"]
I continue serving customers
"Excuse me, there was a slurpee spill" [Translation: "Perhaps I'll hide my obnoxiousness by being polite, so that you will listen to me when I tell you that I spilled a crapload of slurpee all over the place"]
I nod at him, and continue serving customers...
"Excuse me, can you clean up the slurpee now, please? [Translation: "Fuck face, I'm too important to take ownership over the things I do, but that doesnt stop me from having a low desire to trudge through my own mess thus stickifying the bottom of my oh so important shoe... And look I'll even use please to try to cover up that i obviosly think I'm a million times better than you by pretending to appeal to your own politeness")
I look the customer I was midway serving, and tell her that I need to deal with another customer... She turns slightly and gives him the scan-up-and-down glare, and nods at em like "Yeah, get rid of the prick"...
I clean up the mess, and return to the till...
Now some of you are probibly thinking I acted a little harsh... I mean, I didnt even see who made the ginormous 1.3L orange slurpee mess... But I have proof that I didnt...
You see, when he came up to the counter he was holding a soiled XL slurpee cup...
No kidding, the store was backed up about 15 people for about 45 minutes (even though there were two of us running the tills) but eventually the rush subsided, and I was left to survey the damage...
Of our slurpee cups, 6 of the 8 dispensors had been completely drained (I wondered why we were selling so many XL slurpees towards the end of it).
Of our straws, we were out of the colourful novelty size straws and were down to about 20 regular straws.
Of our slurpee, two flavours were completly depleted, and 2 more were on their way...
Of our florr, as im sure you can imagine, it was a colourful mosaic of slurpee goo about 4 1/4" thick, spread from the slurpee area to the magazines to the ice to the washrooms...
I am well aware that my time to clean is limited (slurpee runs always come in waves) so I frantically start stocking and mopping...
I get the floor clean and the straws out before there is a group of people waiting for their turn at the machine...
I am elbowing people in the backs of their heads in order to get the cups out, and I manage to get into the back storage in order to get the slurpee machines all up and running before all hell breaks loose...
The cycle repeats itself, with the back up at the till and what not, as soons as its died down enough I go in to survey the damage... Much the same... I clean stock and fix...
The floor is left to dry, and I return to the till... Not 30 seconds go by, and a man comes up to the counter (walking past the other customers politely waiting in line)
"there was a slurpee spill" [Translation: "I spilled a crapload of slurpee all over the place"]
I continue serving customers
"Excuse me, there was a slurpee spill" [Translation: "Perhaps I'll hide my obnoxiousness by being polite, so that you will listen to me when I tell you that I spilled a crapload of slurpee all over the place"]
I nod at him, and continue serving customers...
"Excuse me, can you clean up the slurpee now, please? [Translation: "Fuck face, I'm too important to take ownership over the things I do, but that doesnt stop me from having a low desire to trudge through my own mess thus stickifying the bottom of my oh so important shoe... And look I'll even use please to try to cover up that i obviosly think I'm a million times better than you by pretending to appeal to your own politeness")
I look the customer I was midway serving, and tell her that I need to deal with another customer... She turns slightly and gives him the scan-up-and-down glare, and nods at em like "Yeah, get rid of the prick"...
I clean up the mess, and return to the till...
Now some of you are probibly thinking I acted a little harsh... I mean, I didnt even see who made the ginormous 1.3L orange slurpee mess... But I have proof that I didnt...
You see, when he came up to the counter he was holding a soiled XL slurpee cup...
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Coffee
Today we are going to learn a little but about something I know and love…
And no, today’s post is not about me (although I’m sure you all would eat it up) but as the title implies, I’m going to give you a little bit of a lesson on coffee…
Now, since there is so much I could teach you (and that would be without delving into the topic of fair trade in a world economy) I will narrow it down a little and limit my discussion to regions where coffee is grown…
Arabian Coffee:
Conveniently named after the place it comes from:
Columbian Coffee:
Conveniently named after the place it comes from
Sumatran Coffee:
Conveniently named after the place it comes from
Java Coffee
Conveniently named after the place it comes from
Okay, so this isn;t really a discussion, but it will prove my point...
I had a lady come in and ask us if we have any 'real coffee'
I pointed towards our java coffee (as after 6pm thast all we make)...
She demands to know where the 'real' coffee is...
I try to explain to her that Java is a coffee producing region and the namesake for the coffee with which we are serving...
She shakes her head and in a huff, she parades off to the coffee stand...
She pours 3/4 of a xtra large coffee and then screams at me "this is disgusting; I dont want this shit!" (she hadn't sampled any of it yet)
She storms out of the store, and tries her best to slam the door (doesnt work so well with automatic closing mechanisms)...
So I just wanted everyone to know that Java coffee is called such for a reason...
And no, today’s post is not about me (although I’m sure you all would eat it up) but as the title implies, I’m going to give you a little bit of a lesson on coffee…
Now, since there is so much I could teach you (and that would be without delving into the topic of fair trade in a world economy) I will narrow it down a little and limit my discussion to regions where coffee is grown…
Arabian Coffee:
Conveniently named after the place it comes from:
Columbian Coffee:
Conveniently named after the place it comes from
Sumatran Coffee:
Conveniently named after the place it comes from
Java Coffee
Conveniently named after the place it comes from
Okay, so this isn;t really a discussion, but it will prove my point...
I had a lady come in and ask us if we have any 'real coffee'
I pointed towards our java coffee (as after 6pm thast all we make)...
She demands to know where the 'real' coffee is...
I try to explain to her that Java is a coffee producing region and the namesake for the coffee with which we are serving...
She shakes her head and in a huff, she parades off to the coffee stand...
She pours 3/4 of a xtra large coffee and then screams at me "this is disgusting; I dont want this shit!" (she hadn't sampled any of it yet)
She storms out of the store, and tries her best to slam the door (doesnt work so well with automatic closing mechanisms)...
So I just wanted everyone to know that Java coffee is called such for a reason...
Pair of Dice, Lost
Ah ha ha, my name is so witty... But it has nothing to do with this post...
So I am back from my mission trip (as Zach would say, I am done converting the heathens for now)…
It was all good times, and although I’d love to inundate you with all my stories, I wont… Go to Chronicles of an Informal White Dress (in the ‘other blogs’ section of this page) in order to read up on my antics… Cuz really, you’re all hear to find out how I narrowly avoided yelling at customers…
I wont keep you from todays hilarity any longer, on with the show!
An older man entered the store today, coming from the direction of a pump which had just finished pumping 60 or so dollars…
Of course when he got to the couter I double checked that he was the owner (its always best to check, you never know what you might accidentally swipe on a credit card)…
When he accepted that it was indeed his purchase, I asked if he had petro points… (remember this, its important later in the story)
The answer I received was a blank stare. Now, a blank stare usually means ‘no! wtf are you talking about?” Anyone in the service industry will tell you so (in the same way that ‘couple’ is ‘two’ and ‘few’ is ‘three’… but don’t get me started on that rant… COUPLE IS NOT A NUMERICAL ANSWER!)
After staring for a bit he opens his mouth to speak…
I hang off every word… I am more enthralled than I have ever been in the entirety of my life…
“dumaurier king size”
I turn to grab a pack, scan, announce total, swipe his debit card, complete transaction, and he makes for the door…
As he is about to leave, he turns around and says “I have petro points”
By this time the transaction is complete, and due to the nature of debit cards, it is not able to be redone…
This is where things start to get interesting…
He wants the discount you get with petro points (3.5 cents a litre)… I inform him that I am unable to give a discount once a transaction is completed (which is true for all but a few circumstances) as there isn’t a way for me to redo the transaction and that the discount can only be applied to the initial transaction…
I then inform him that I can give him his petro points by leaving a form which my boss takes to add points manually…
He proceeds to do the thing that has, thus far, pissed my off more than anything any other customer has ever done…
In a very condescending tone and with a big ‘I’m angry but I’m smiling’ smile he says “well that isn’t very fair to me, is it?”
I inform him of the plight of the debit card, and reiterate that the best I can do is give him the petro points…
He goes on to tell me that he’s had this happen before and that it was solved really easily, and that I was just too stupid to do it… Spoken through his teeth with a big old grin on his face
I was so close to jumping across the counter and throttling him…
My co-worker intervened and asked me (quietly) to go somewhere else for a few seconds while he dealt with him… I obliged…
When I came back the situation had been resolved… Mainly by my cowroker just giving the guy the $1.50 the guy would have saved directly from the till…
I was so pissed off… I told my employee about how I had asked the guy for his petro points and that he had ignored me… Grr!
I swear, Im getting too old for this… My poor heart…
So I am back from my mission trip (as Zach would say, I am done converting the heathens for now)…
It was all good times, and although I’d love to inundate you with all my stories, I wont… Go to Chronicles of an Informal White Dress (in the ‘other blogs’ section of this page) in order to read up on my antics… Cuz really, you’re all hear to find out how I narrowly avoided yelling at customers…
I wont keep you from todays hilarity any longer, on with the show!
An older man entered the store today, coming from the direction of a pump which had just finished pumping 60 or so dollars…
Of course when he got to the couter I double checked that he was the owner (its always best to check, you never know what you might accidentally swipe on a credit card)…
When he accepted that it was indeed his purchase, I asked if he had petro points… (remember this, its important later in the story)
The answer I received was a blank stare. Now, a blank stare usually means ‘no! wtf are you talking about?” Anyone in the service industry will tell you so (in the same way that ‘couple’ is ‘two’ and ‘few’ is ‘three’… but don’t get me started on that rant… COUPLE IS NOT A NUMERICAL ANSWER!)
After staring for a bit he opens his mouth to speak…
I hang off every word… I am more enthralled than I have ever been in the entirety of my life…
“dumaurier king size”
I turn to grab a pack, scan, announce total, swipe his debit card, complete transaction, and he makes for the door…
As he is about to leave, he turns around and says “I have petro points”
By this time the transaction is complete, and due to the nature of debit cards, it is not able to be redone…
This is where things start to get interesting…
He wants the discount you get with petro points (3.5 cents a litre)… I inform him that I am unable to give a discount once a transaction is completed (which is true for all but a few circumstances) as there isn’t a way for me to redo the transaction and that the discount can only be applied to the initial transaction…
I then inform him that I can give him his petro points by leaving a form which my boss takes to add points manually…
He proceeds to do the thing that has, thus far, pissed my off more than anything any other customer has ever done…
In a very condescending tone and with a big ‘I’m angry but I’m smiling’ smile he says “well that isn’t very fair to me, is it?”
I inform him of the plight of the debit card, and reiterate that the best I can do is give him the petro points…
He goes on to tell me that he’s had this happen before and that it was solved really easily, and that I was just too stupid to do it… Spoken through his teeth with a big old grin on his face
I was so close to jumping across the counter and throttling him…
My co-worker intervened and asked me (quietly) to go somewhere else for a few seconds while he dealt with him… I obliged…
When I came back the situation had been resolved… Mainly by my cowroker just giving the guy the $1.50 the guy would have saved directly from the till…
I was so pissed off… I told my employee about how I had asked the guy for his petro points and that he had ignored me… Grr!
I swear, Im getting too old for this… My poor heart…
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Canada D'eh!
So today is Canada Day revisited...
This year, I have been allowed to have the graveyard off (unlike last year, which was painfully painful)...
Anyways, as the only person still working at the gas station who has every worked the graveyard on Canada Day (I think the last person to do a Canada Day gave notice the morning after (yes, its that bad)) I thought I should be kind and give the girl (yes girl) whom was taking the shift a bit of warning as to how to effectively get through the night without murdering someone (my advice consisted of 1) arrive early and 2) dont expect anything to get done...)
Well, I did work today, I worked the afternoon shift... Which was actually very pleasant due to a break in a natural gas line some blocks away which ended up having most of the streets in the area blockaded (but that didnt stop people from smoking at my gas station... Natural Gas and Gasoline does not prevent people from smoking... dear god!)
Okay, anyways, she arrived almost late (thereby not getting any of the prep work done before we were ready to leave...
So I was like FFS (I learned that today, it's like WTF except trendy), But if she wasnt willing to take advice I wasn't about to be helpful... SO I finished doing my job, signed out, and then marched down to the fireworks with my friends...
The crowd was (according to police officers) somewhere in the range of 80-100k...
Within walking distance of our gas station...
If someone who has done the shift before says "get here early" you should listen to them...
And if your entire town is a parking lot because of an event, it only adds to the case this helpful employee is trying to make...
Well, the fireworks ended, and rather than making the trek all the way back up to the top of the hill, we waited around and caught a ride with another friend when the traffic died down (but it took a LONG time)
Since my other friends had parked in the petro can parking lot, we ended up going back there, and I went inside to score us some free slurpees...
She was almost in tears...
In the 90 minutes I was gone she had run 320 transactions... So about 4 transactions a minute... But then you need to consider the fact that it takes upwards of 30 seconds to complete a debit or credit transaction, you know why she was almost crying... She would have had people lined up around the store ...
Since I was still in my uniform, I offered her a chance to run out for a cigarette break while I served customers, and our friend cleaned some of the WD-40 from his car (Ah! Fumes)
We took our free slurpees and I offered the "I told you so, bitch!" face... I think she'll listen to me next time...
Just so everyone is in 'the Know', I am leaving for a mission trip this week and will not be returning until the 10th...
Therefore there will not be any stories until then...
Feel free to post comments about how much you miss me, or even stories of your own...
*Smoochies*
This year, I have been allowed to have the graveyard off (unlike last year, which was painfully painful)...
Anyways, as the only person still working at the gas station who has every worked the graveyard on Canada Day (I think the last person to do a Canada Day gave notice the morning after (yes, its that bad)) I thought I should be kind and give the girl (yes girl) whom was taking the shift a bit of warning as to how to effectively get through the night without murdering someone (my advice consisted of 1) arrive early and 2) dont expect anything to get done...)
Well, I did work today, I worked the afternoon shift... Which was actually very pleasant due to a break in a natural gas line some blocks away which ended up having most of the streets in the area blockaded (but that didnt stop people from smoking at my gas station... Natural Gas and Gasoline does not prevent people from smoking... dear god!)
Okay, anyways, she arrived almost late (thereby not getting any of the prep work done before we were ready to leave...
So I was like FFS (I learned that today, it's like WTF except trendy), But if she wasnt willing to take advice I wasn't about to be helpful... SO I finished doing my job, signed out, and then marched down to the fireworks with my friends...
The crowd was (according to police officers) somewhere in the range of 80-100k...
Within walking distance of our gas station...
If someone who has done the shift before says "get here early" you should listen to them...
And if your entire town is a parking lot because of an event, it only adds to the case this helpful employee is trying to make...
Well, the fireworks ended, and rather than making the trek all the way back up to the top of the hill, we waited around and caught a ride with another friend when the traffic died down (but it took a LONG time)
Since my other friends had parked in the petro can parking lot, we ended up going back there, and I went inside to score us some free slurpees...
She was almost in tears...
In the 90 minutes I was gone she had run 320 transactions... So about 4 transactions a minute... But then you need to consider the fact that it takes upwards of 30 seconds to complete a debit or credit transaction, you know why she was almost crying... She would have had people lined up around the store ...
Since I was still in my uniform, I offered her a chance to run out for a cigarette break while I served customers, and our friend cleaned some of the WD-40 from his car (Ah! Fumes)
We took our free slurpees and I offered the "I told you so, bitch!" face... I think she'll listen to me next time...
Just so everyone is in 'the Know', I am leaving for a mission trip this week and will not be returning until the 10th...
Therefore there will not be any stories until then...
Feel free to post comments about how much you miss me, or even stories of your own...
*Smoochies*
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Complaints
So...
Im going to make this quick (cuz Im heading out in a few minutes)...
Yesterday I was serving customers at till 2 (co-worker was in till number one)...
A lady came up to till 1 and informed her that she would like to pay fro $20 gas at pump #7... But since her grandson was already pumping (we didnt know she would be comming in to pay for it, and we had cleared the pump) she had to wait for him to finish...
Nothing out of the ordinary, it happens all the time...
The grandson finishes, the old lady pays, and she leaves the store...
The old bat (she's no longer an old lady) comes in and demands to be able to speak to the manager (oh crap, we think)
Thankfully our manager was still aorund (for whatever reason) and we escorted her to the office...
She was talking with my boss for about twenty minutes...
When she left, I served customers and my co worker went to find out what the lady had to say...
Turns out we were rude...
I ignored her (I was serving other customers), and co-worker didnt cover any interesting topic conversations (in the twenty seconds it took for the gas to finish pumping)...
Apparently she even started yelling at my boss over this...
I'm not entirely sure what to think... do people actually expect me to drop everything to help them (cuz im not going to)
Im going to make this quick (cuz Im heading out in a few minutes)...
Yesterday I was serving customers at till 2 (co-worker was in till number one)...
A lady came up to till 1 and informed her that she would like to pay fro $20 gas at pump #7... But since her grandson was already pumping (we didnt know she would be comming in to pay for it, and we had cleared the pump) she had to wait for him to finish...
Nothing out of the ordinary, it happens all the time...
The grandson finishes, the old lady pays, and she leaves the store...
The old bat (she's no longer an old lady) comes in and demands to be able to speak to the manager (oh crap, we think)
Thankfully our manager was still aorund (for whatever reason) and we escorted her to the office...
She was talking with my boss for about twenty minutes...
When she left, I served customers and my co worker went to find out what the lady had to say...
Turns out we were rude...
I ignored her (I was serving other customers), and co-worker didnt cover any interesting topic conversations (in the twenty seconds it took for the gas to finish pumping)...
Apparently she even started yelling at my boss over this...
I'm not entirely sure what to think... do people actually expect me to drop everything to help them (cuz im not going to)
Children
It is with great displeasure that I present the gripe of the hour...
I have met, the single most annoying child in the entire world. I am not blowing things out of proportion at all. Trust me, I was pacing back and forth and I went outside for two bouts of 'fresh air' due to him...
He was probibly about 7 years old, and his parents had apparently sent him to the store to pick up a loaf of bread, and he had recieved 1.89 (or so) as change, which his parents seemingly told him he could spend on items for himself...
Today was really slow, so annoying him was near impossible, but I tried my best...
When he finally came up to the counter, I figured he was ready to buy something and go.
Instead, he wanted to bring my attention to the fact he didnt think he had enough money in order to buy the candy he wanted...
So I asked him what candy he wanted, and sure enough it was 2.11 (or so... I'm making these number estimates up btw)...
My feloow employee encouraged him to find something a little bit cheaper to buy, or to save his money for next time...
He pouted for a bit (in a way that did not entice me to forgo the .22 (or so) cents, and then continued his meander around the store...
He did a loop around the store and then came back up to the till again (again, I presumed he was ready to go.. again I was wrong) He now started talking about how good the candy was, but how he knew he couldn't afford it... He talked about not being able to afford it and how good it was for a few more minutes (I paused briefly to ignore him and serve other customers) and when I came back to him, I caught him mid sentance...
He was really starting to ignore me...
I finally snapped, and as politely and as sternly as I could I told him that if he went and grabbed the candy right away, I would pay the extra few cents for him...
He walked over and returned with a bottle of candy... I scanned it, cashed it through, and sent him on his way... Or so I thought... He didnt make it to the door...
He walked from the counter to the ice cream freezer...
He started pulling out things from the freezer...
After he had drooled over our selection of drumstick icecream bars for a few minutes, he returned all the things to their appropriate places and returned to the counter...
"I dont like this candy... it was gross last time... I don't like it anymore"
I was thinking to myself "you little fucker" and contemplating how effectively I could kick him in the head from across the counter...
(did I mention, I don;t like kids)
Anyways, since my flexibilty limited the kicking to zero, I decided to hear him out...
"Can I have my money back"
'Fine!' I think, and I give him back his 1.89 (or so)
"But it was more than that" (the little fucker was trying to get the money I had put in)
I ginored him... After complaining because I wasnt giving him all his money, and his complaining falling on all but deaf ears, he returned to the freezer, and pulled out one of the drumsticks, and returned to the counter...
I scan it and announce the price of 2.49 (or so)...
I don't have enough money for that... and the complaining starts up again... From the amount of bitching he did, youd think this drumstick would make him the happiest little shit in the entire universe... Like his mom was hooked up to life support but they needed .60 to power it, but he could choose to put that .60 towards his drumstick, he would choose the drumstick and all its chocolately goodness...
I of course tell him I am not going to pay for it... I may have even made mention to my retraction of the .22 (or so) cents I formerly offered him..
he went around the store, and between the aisels complainging about how much the drumstick meant to ho him and blah blah blah...
I had enough, and I went for a smoke break...
I came back, and he was still there...
My fellow employee (not in as many words) told him to shut up and choose comething cheaper, or go home...
He pouted for a bit longer, and then decided he wasnt getting anywhere, and left...
And so our story ends...
for about 15 minutes...
He comes back, claiming to have gotten money from someone on the way (why oh why wasn't it a man in a van with a puppy?)...
He still doesnt have enough though...
So if youd like to know what happens, just start reading this post from the beginning, and replace the word candy with the word drumstick...
Fuck I want to lock him in a cage and beat him with a stick...
But alas, I might have been fired (only if she didnt get a chance to see how annoying the kid is first)...
Gnight
I have met, the single most annoying child in the entire world. I am not blowing things out of proportion at all. Trust me, I was pacing back and forth and I went outside for two bouts of 'fresh air' due to him...
He was probibly about 7 years old, and his parents had apparently sent him to the store to pick up a loaf of bread, and he had recieved 1.89 (or so) as change, which his parents seemingly told him he could spend on items for himself...
Today was really slow, so annoying him was near impossible, but I tried my best...
When he finally came up to the counter, I figured he was ready to buy something and go.
Instead, he wanted to bring my attention to the fact he didnt think he had enough money in order to buy the candy he wanted...
So I asked him what candy he wanted, and sure enough it was 2.11 (or so... I'm making these number estimates up btw)...
My feloow employee encouraged him to find something a little bit cheaper to buy, or to save his money for next time...
He pouted for a bit (in a way that did not entice me to forgo the .22 (or so) cents, and then continued his meander around the store...
He did a loop around the store and then came back up to the till again (again, I presumed he was ready to go.. again I was wrong) He now started talking about how good the candy was, but how he knew he couldn't afford it... He talked about not being able to afford it and how good it was for a few more minutes (I paused briefly to ignore him and serve other customers) and when I came back to him, I caught him mid sentance...
He was really starting to ignore me...
I finally snapped, and as politely and as sternly as I could I told him that if he went and grabbed the candy right away, I would pay the extra few cents for him...
He walked over and returned with a bottle of candy... I scanned it, cashed it through, and sent him on his way... Or so I thought... He didnt make it to the door...
He walked from the counter to the ice cream freezer...
He started pulling out things from the freezer...
After he had drooled over our selection of drumstick icecream bars for a few minutes, he returned all the things to their appropriate places and returned to the counter...
"I dont like this candy... it was gross last time... I don't like it anymore"
I was thinking to myself "you little fucker" and contemplating how effectively I could kick him in the head from across the counter...
(did I mention, I don;t like kids)
Anyways, since my flexibilty limited the kicking to zero, I decided to hear him out...
"Can I have my money back"
'Fine!' I think, and I give him back his 1.89 (or so)
"But it was more than that" (the little fucker was trying to get the money I had put in)
I ginored him... After complaining because I wasnt giving him all his money, and his complaining falling on all but deaf ears, he returned to the freezer, and pulled out one of the drumsticks, and returned to the counter...
I scan it and announce the price of 2.49 (or so)...
I don't have enough money for that... and the complaining starts up again... From the amount of bitching he did, youd think this drumstick would make him the happiest little shit in the entire universe... Like his mom was hooked up to life support but they needed .60 to power it, but he could choose to put that .60 towards his drumstick, he would choose the drumstick and all its chocolately goodness...
I of course tell him I am not going to pay for it... I may have even made mention to my retraction of the .22 (or so) cents I formerly offered him..
he went around the store, and between the aisels complainging about how much the drumstick meant to ho him and blah blah blah...
I had enough, and I went for a smoke break...
I came back, and he was still there...
My fellow employee (not in as many words) told him to shut up and choose comething cheaper, or go home...
He pouted for a bit longer, and then decided he wasnt getting anywhere, and left...
And so our story ends...
for about 15 minutes...
He comes back, claiming to have gotten money from someone on the way (why oh why wasn't it a man in a van with a puppy?)...
He still doesnt have enough though...
So if youd like to know what happens, just start reading this post from the beginning, and replace the word candy with the word drumstick...
Fuck I want to lock him in a cage and beat him with a stick...
But alas, I might have been fired (only if she didnt get a chance to see how annoying the kid is first)...
Gnight
Baby Nic Addicts
Well, my title might be a bit missleading, I am not writing about infants with smoking parents...
Tonights Rant is about teenagers who try to buy cigarettes from me...
Well, as I'm sure you know, I am a slightly moral person (Quiet Shannon! you speak lies!!!)... And my boss even made mention during my last review that I am exceptional when it comes to following underage laws in regards to tobacco and tobacco related products...
But...
Over the weekend I had a customer come in and say "There are some kids outside trying to buy 'Export A Medium'"... I thanked him for informing me, and he carried out his transaction and left...
There were no other customers at the time, so I called up the non-emergency police to ask them if they could stop by...
Lesson number one learned that evening, don't bother calling the non emergency police...
They have lame hold music, and after more than ten minutes on the line, I didnt get through...
My guess is that the only receptionist was in the process of breaking up with her boyfriend... But I digress...
Since the police thing was a no go, and since I knew the brand the kids wanted, I decided to take matters into my own hand...
I vowed to refuse sale of cigarettes to anyone who came in and ordered exprt a medium, whilst the kids were still nearby...
Thisd was a potentially dangerous thing, as I was working by myself, and some people can get quite irate if you prevent them from getting their next fix (nicotine is more addictive than heroin or cocaine)... But I figured it would send the message to the kids that they wont be able to get cigarettes at Petro when I'm at work...
Anyways... About five minutes later, a really sketch guy comes in and orders a pack of canadian classics king size and a pack of export a medium... And heres the kicker... He asks if he can get it on seperate bills!
I flat out, say no.
he asks why...
I inform him that there are youth outside trying to buy cigarettes and that I would not aid them in getting them...
He asks what I mean...
I inform him that since I know that they are trying to get export a medium, I am not going to sell cigarettes to anyone who orders them...
He freaks out and starts calling me every name under the sun...
When he calms down a bit, he tries again, this time ordering two packs of Canadians...
I tell him, again flat out, I have the right to refuse sale to anyone I want for any reason I want (well, asides from racially or sexually discriminating reasons, of course) and that he would not be purchasing cigarettes from me tonight...
(Then I fibbed a little bit)
I told him that when he went outside to give the kids back their money, to also tell them that i had already phoned the cops and that they had promised me they would be on their way...
He screamed at me more, so I said 'fine' grabbed a pack of canadians scanned them through the till, then I asked him for some ID...
He gave me his drivers liscense...
I started writing down the number, the DOB the address (actually, I got about halfway through the name before he figured out what was going on)...
He said f-it, asked for his liscense back and left... He politely lifted his central digit in support of my plight against teenage smokers when he walked past the window (heading east)...
I saw him about 30 seconds later heading west around the back of the pumps (presumably he though he was out of my view) towards the kids...
They dispersed... I was victorious!
My second story happened tonight... Whilst working with another employee...
Someone whom I know to be underage attempted to purchase Export A Lights, I tried to conceal my laughter when he asked at the counter (I was mostly successful)... In order to humour him, I asked him if he had any photo ID... he didn't, and so I informed him no...
He gave me the "buuuut I waaaaaant iiiiiiit" look that you often get from little babies (hence the title of this post) and I told him where to go (maybe not in the most polite way)...
Him and his buddies did go... Around the corner... to solicite adults to purchase them cigarettes...
Again, since I knew the brand, I knew what to look out for, but since I wasn't working by myself, I decided to play this one out a little different...
I told the person I was working with to buzz me if someone bought Export A Lights...
Nothing happened for about 15 minutes...
Then she buzzed me...
A relatively attractive young lady (with proper identification) was purchasing Export A Lights...
When she went outside, I follwed her...
And watched her hand the cigarettes off to the kids... I quickly wrote down her liscence plate, and then approached the youth...
I told them, as sternly as I could to give me the cigarettes...
They played dumb at first (how they could have missed my standing there watching them while the entire thing unfolded is beyond me) but I repeated myself, adding the lines "or I will phone her in and report her"...
They stop playing dumb a little bit, and ask "How are you going to report her?"
I show them the piece of paper with her LP on it... and add (another fib, I know) "The other GSA has her name from her liscense inside"
Being good little boys they handed over the cigarettes, I gave them back the money they paid for them with, and I told them not to come back...
I'm attempting to have at least one of the kids permanently banned from the store (I know his first name and I know hes trouble...
Anyways, just a short little update for you all...
Gnight
Tonights Rant is about teenagers who try to buy cigarettes from me...
Well, as I'm sure you know, I am a slightly moral person (Quiet Shannon! you speak lies!!!)... And my boss even made mention during my last review that I am exceptional when it comes to following underage laws in regards to tobacco and tobacco related products...
But...
Over the weekend I had a customer come in and say "There are some kids outside trying to buy 'Export A Medium'"... I thanked him for informing me, and he carried out his transaction and left...
There were no other customers at the time, so I called up the non-emergency police to ask them if they could stop by...
Lesson number one learned that evening, don't bother calling the non emergency police...
They have lame hold music, and after more than ten minutes on the line, I didnt get through...
My guess is that the only receptionist was in the process of breaking up with her boyfriend... But I digress...
Since the police thing was a no go, and since I knew the brand the kids wanted, I decided to take matters into my own hand...
I vowed to refuse sale of cigarettes to anyone who came in and ordered exprt a medium, whilst the kids were still nearby...
Thisd was a potentially dangerous thing, as I was working by myself, and some people can get quite irate if you prevent them from getting their next fix (nicotine is more addictive than heroin or cocaine)... But I figured it would send the message to the kids that they wont be able to get cigarettes at Petro when I'm at work...
Anyways... About five minutes later, a really sketch guy comes in and orders a pack of canadian classics king size and a pack of export a medium... And heres the kicker... He asks if he can get it on seperate bills!
I flat out, say no.
he asks why...
I inform him that there are youth outside trying to buy cigarettes and that I would not aid them in getting them...
He asks what I mean...
I inform him that since I know that they are trying to get export a medium, I am not going to sell cigarettes to anyone who orders them...
He freaks out and starts calling me every name under the sun...
When he calms down a bit, he tries again, this time ordering two packs of Canadians...
I tell him, again flat out, I have the right to refuse sale to anyone I want for any reason I want (well, asides from racially or sexually discriminating reasons, of course) and that he would not be purchasing cigarettes from me tonight...
(Then I fibbed a little bit)
I told him that when he went outside to give the kids back their money, to also tell them that i had already phoned the cops and that they had promised me they would be on their way...
He screamed at me more, so I said 'fine' grabbed a pack of canadians scanned them through the till, then I asked him for some ID...
He gave me his drivers liscense...
I started writing down the number, the DOB the address (actually, I got about halfway through the name before he figured out what was going on)...
He said f-it, asked for his liscense back and left... He politely lifted his central digit in support of my plight against teenage smokers when he walked past the window (heading east)...
I saw him about 30 seconds later heading west around the back of the pumps (presumably he though he was out of my view) towards the kids...
They dispersed... I was victorious!
My second story happened tonight... Whilst working with another employee...
Someone whom I know to be underage attempted to purchase Export A Lights, I tried to conceal my laughter when he asked at the counter (I was mostly successful)... In order to humour him, I asked him if he had any photo ID... he didn't, and so I informed him no...
He gave me the "buuuut I waaaaaant iiiiiiit" look that you often get from little babies (hence the title of this post) and I told him where to go (maybe not in the most polite way)...
Him and his buddies did go... Around the corner... to solicite adults to purchase them cigarettes...
Again, since I knew the brand, I knew what to look out for, but since I wasn't working by myself, I decided to play this one out a little different...
I told the person I was working with to buzz me if someone bought Export A Lights...
Nothing happened for about 15 minutes...
Then she buzzed me...
A relatively attractive young lady (with proper identification) was purchasing Export A Lights...
When she went outside, I follwed her...
And watched her hand the cigarettes off to the kids... I quickly wrote down her liscence plate, and then approached the youth...
I told them, as sternly as I could to give me the cigarettes...
They played dumb at first (how they could have missed my standing there watching them while the entire thing unfolded is beyond me) but I repeated myself, adding the lines "or I will phone her in and report her"...
They stop playing dumb a little bit, and ask "How are you going to report her?"
I show them the piece of paper with her LP on it... and add (another fib, I know) "The other GSA has her name from her liscense inside"
Being good little boys they handed over the cigarettes, I gave them back the money they paid for them with, and I told them not to come back...
I'm attempting to have at least one of the kids permanently banned from the store (I know his first name and I know hes trouble...
Anyways, just a short little update for you all...
Gnight
Friday, June 24, 2005
Cake Taking
OKay, so I've complained about stupid people making stupid mistakes for well over a year now, but I think this one takes the cake...
If I had to retire this blog today, I think I could live a satisfactory life with this post being the big finally..
Don't worry, it wont be... but I dont think its going to go much higher than this...
An older lady was pumping gas... It was very slow, and most of my chores had been completed... so needless to say, I had involved myself in people watching...
And since she was the only one in the parking lot, she was the one getting watched...
Her [grandaughter?] had also gotten out... I think to coach her through the pumping proceedure... She was wearing a basebaall uniform, stained with grass, so I assume they were comming home for a game...
Neither of them really seemed to know what was going on, but since they managed to get the nosal into the car, i figured there wouldnt be any problems...
And there werent...
Untill...
Don't you love the suspense?
I bet you all are hanging off my every word...
I could go on like this for quite a while, and most of you will keep reading...
But I wont, back to the story...
At $20.00 the lady stopped pumping (I could see oth on the pump and on the till), but until the nosal is hung up, there is always the potential to start pumping again...
Apprently she didnt realize this, and when she puled the nosal out of her car, she was still holding the handle on...
Gas was now pouring out of the pump (at a rate of approximately 0.4L/sec-- personal estimate as to how fast our pumps go)...
She panicked (gasoline can be damaging to paint) and stopped pointing the nosal at her car, and proceeded to whip it around...
She is now pouring it all over her granddaughter...
Panicking again, she turns around more, wrapping the hose around her feet and tripping (still not releasing the nosal)...
It is only when she is sitting on a pool of gasoline next to her petrol soaked car and grandaughter that she lets go of the nosal, and gas stops pumping... At $22.34 = 2.6L (gas was 89.9) = 6.5 seconds
My first though is "Holy shit, so ass is going to light a cigarette and we're all going to die"... remember, cigarettes appear to be common practice with patrons of our store...
My second though is "where is that TBS number to call and ask 'how funny is this'" so they can tell me I'm allowed to be rolling on the ground crying because my diaphragm hurts so much...
Then I though... I should really get the absorbal and clean up the mess as much as I can...
They were both drenched in gasoline...
And I had no idea what to do (I dont think there is a section in our safety manual that says "if a customer rolls around in spilled gasoline, then..."
I told them to dry off as best as possible... After I sent them to the public washroom in order to wet down the gas stained articles of clothing as much as possible... And it took an entire bucket of absorbal to contain the spill...
If I had to retire this blog today, I think I could live a satisfactory life with this post being the big finally..
Don't worry, it wont be... but I dont think its going to go much higher than this...
An older lady was pumping gas... It was very slow, and most of my chores had been completed... so needless to say, I had involved myself in people watching...
And since she was the only one in the parking lot, she was the one getting watched...
Her [grandaughter?] had also gotten out... I think to coach her through the pumping proceedure... She was wearing a basebaall uniform, stained with grass, so I assume they were comming home for a game...
Neither of them really seemed to know what was going on, but since they managed to get the nosal into the car, i figured there wouldnt be any problems...
And there werent...
Untill...
Don't you love the suspense?
I bet you all are hanging off my every word...
I could go on like this for quite a while, and most of you will keep reading...
But I wont, back to the story...
At $20.00 the lady stopped pumping (I could see oth on the pump and on the till), but until the nosal is hung up, there is always the potential to start pumping again...
Apprently she didnt realize this, and when she puled the nosal out of her car, she was still holding the handle on...
Gas was now pouring out of the pump (at a rate of approximately 0.4L/sec-- personal estimate as to how fast our pumps go)...
She panicked (gasoline can be damaging to paint) and stopped pointing the nosal at her car, and proceeded to whip it around...
She is now pouring it all over her granddaughter...
Panicking again, she turns around more, wrapping the hose around her feet and tripping (still not releasing the nosal)...
It is only when she is sitting on a pool of gasoline next to her petrol soaked car and grandaughter that she lets go of the nosal, and gas stops pumping... At $22.34 = 2.6L (gas was 89.9) = 6.5 seconds
My first though is "Holy shit, so ass is going to light a cigarette and we're all going to die"... remember, cigarettes appear to be common practice with patrons of our store...
My second though is "where is that TBS number to call and ask 'how funny is this'" so they can tell me I'm allowed to be rolling on the ground crying because my diaphragm hurts so much...
Then I though... I should really get the absorbal and clean up the mess as much as I can...
They were both drenched in gasoline...
And I had no idea what to do (I dont think there is a section in our safety manual that says "if a customer rolls around in spilled gasoline, then..."
I told them to dry off as best as possible... After I sent them to the public washroom in order to wet down the gas stained articles of clothing as much as possible... And it took an entire bucket of absorbal to contain the spill...
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Comfort Level
It happens that humans, being social creatures, are quite succeptable to forming relationships.
AT leasts thats been my understanding from the various discovery and TLC shows on human behavior have lead me to believe...
And, judging from my experience in the gas station, I would most likely say that it is indeed true...
And I am starting to be on the conversational safe list with several of my regular customers...
Some I dont mind...
For example, the guy who works at the movie store... He gave me his band website...
http://www.myspace.com/manphetamine
And the lady that works for the rocky mountain express tells me about her treks each week (this week shes going to Jasper and Back)...
But I am also becomming popular with the nutballs, too... (I know, it probibly sounds like all my customers are nutballs... but just a fraction of a percent of them are... a very vocal fraction of a percent)
"Do you smoke pot? Cuz im selling"
"I met the chief of the reserve in Kelowna last October"
"My kids don't like it when I talk to their friends"
"can I take this stack of sports action tickets?"
These aren't from the same person, but that would be quite scary...
And people just offload their problems on me... Things I won't bother repeating... Mostly cuz I can;t think of a funny way to say "I think my kids are stealing money from my purse" or "if my boyfriend comes back tonight Im going to kill him"
hardee har har...
Peace out (lol, what a lame way to end this)
AT leasts thats been my understanding from the various discovery and TLC shows on human behavior have lead me to believe...
And, judging from my experience in the gas station, I would most likely say that it is indeed true...
And I am starting to be on the conversational safe list with several of my regular customers...
Some I dont mind...
For example, the guy who works at the movie store... He gave me his band website...
http://www.myspace.com/manphetamine
And the lady that works for the rocky mountain express tells me about her treks each week (this week shes going to Jasper and Back)...
But I am also becomming popular with the nutballs, too... (I know, it probibly sounds like all my customers are nutballs... but just a fraction of a percent of them are... a very vocal fraction of a percent)
"Do you smoke pot? Cuz im selling"
"I met the chief of the reserve in Kelowna last October"
"My kids don't like it when I talk to their friends"
"can I take this stack of sports action tickets?"
These aren't from the same person, but that would be quite scary...
And people just offload their problems on me... Things I won't bother repeating... Mostly cuz I can;t think of a funny way to say "I think my kids are stealing money from my purse" or "if my boyfriend comes back tonight Im going to kill him"
hardee har har...
Peace out (lol, what a lame way to end this)
Monday, June 20, 2005
POS Down
So... My streak of relatively eventless nights has been broken...
At about 2am this morning, PetroCan had a major malfunction... And all of the POS systems went down...
Now, under normal circumstances, this wouldnt be a problem... Of course normal and interac are not two words that go together in Canada... We still have the higest rate of interac usage, leaving a lot of people depndant on the service...
Now, knowing that no interac was going to be quite the problem, signs were placed in strategic places...
On a 12" by 12" plastic board (which happens to be the same yellow/amber colour that is used for road warning signs) were the words "INTERAC UNAVAILABLE"...
We placed these on each of the pumps (In the very centre, right beside where it tells you how much you've pumped), on each side of the glass entry door (slightly below eye level for me, inside and out), at the bank machine (when POS goes down, so does the ABM... we placed it over top of the LCD display)
We also had one on the counter over top of the lotto display...
Get ready for the stupidity...
Guy outside pumps gas, walks through te glass entry door, comes right up to the counter, asks for two packs of cigarettes, and tosses his debit card on the counter...
I gave him the bankest stare I could conjure...
I seriously couldn't believe what I was seeing...
"Well?" he interrupted... I was still staring in disbelief... Blinking occasionally...
"Debit's down"... I wanted to yell and throw the sign at him... But at this point in time, I felt someone had just knocked the wind out of me... with their stupidity...
I had now resorted to trying to blink him away...
Needless to say, it didnt work...
"Why didnt anybody tell me?"
*blink blink blink*
I pointed at the 6 signs I could see from where I was standing (I continued pointing at each one until he looked directly at it, then moved on to the next, and the next, etc)...
He paid with cash, and left... My eyes hurt from blinking...
Not five minutes later aguy pulls up to the pump, gets out, and puts his debit in to pay at the pump...
Fellow employee goes out to inform him that there IS A HUGE YELLOW SIGN THAT SAYS YOU CANT PAY WITH DEBIT! (like my strategic use of caps lock for effect? heh heh heh)
Well, he actually told him debit was unavailable, or something to that accord (I didnt listen in on the conversation)...
Employee comes back in, and we watch the guy at the pump (well... technically we watched the computer (he was behind pump 1 so we couldnt see what he was doing...)
anyways... The computer was giving us the play by play...
**Card Inserted**
**Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable**
**Card Inserted**
**Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable**
**Card Inserted**
**Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable**
Finally he comes inside (now you have to imagine this with a very thick chinese accent)
"Pump no wurkeen"
"Interac is unavailable"
"I put een card, pump no wurkeen!"
"You cannot pay with interac... you have to pay with cash"
"oh"
and he drove off...
At about 2am this morning, PetroCan had a major malfunction... And all of the POS systems went down...
Now, under normal circumstances, this wouldnt be a problem... Of course normal and interac are not two words that go together in Canada... We still have the higest rate of interac usage, leaving a lot of people depndant on the service...
Now, knowing that no interac was going to be quite the problem, signs were placed in strategic places...
On a 12" by 12" plastic board (which happens to be the same yellow/amber colour that is used for road warning signs) were the words "INTERAC UNAVAILABLE"...
We placed these on each of the pumps (In the very centre, right beside where it tells you how much you've pumped), on each side of the glass entry door (slightly below eye level for me, inside and out), at the bank machine (when POS goes down, so does the ABM... we placed it over top of the LCD display)
We also had one on the counter over top of the lotto display...
Get ready for the stupidity...
Guy outside pumps gas, walks through te glass entry door, comes right up to the counter, asks for two packs of cigarettes, and tosses his debit card on the counter...
I gave him the bankest stare I could conjure...
I seriously couldn't believe what I was seeing...
"Well?" he interrupted... I was still staring in disbelief... Blinking occasionally...
"Debit's down"... I wanted to yell and throw the sign at him... But at this point in time, I felt someone had just knocked the wind out of me... with their stupidity...
I had now resorted to trying to blink him away...
Needless to say, it didnt work...
"Why didnt anybody tell me?"
*blink blink blink*
I pointed at the 6 signs I could see from where I was standing (I continued pointing at each one until he looked directly at it, then moved on to the next, and the next, etc)...
He paid with cash, and left... My eyes hurt from blinking...
Not five minutes later aguy pulls up to the pump, gets out, and puts his debit in to pay at the pump...
Fellow employee goes out to inform him that there IS A HUGE YELLOW SIGN THAT SAYS YOU CANT PAY WITH DEBIT! (like my strategic use of caps lock for effect? heh heh heh)
Well, he actually told him debit was unavailable, or something to that accord (I didnt listen in on the conversation)...
Employee comes back in, and we watch the guy at the pump (well... technically we watched the computer (he was behind pump 1 so we couldnt see what he was doing...)
anyways... The computer was giving us the play by play...
**Card Inserted**
**Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable**
**Card Inserted**
**Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable**
**Card Inserted**
**Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable** **Debit Uavailable**
Finally he comes inside (now you have to imagine this with a very thick chinese accent)
"Pump no wurkeen"
"Interac is unavailable"
"I put een card, pump no wurkeen!"
"You cannot pay with interac... you have to pay with cash"
"oh"
and he drove off...
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Patience, Please
I'm sure you can imagine, working in a place where there are a lot of customers, and a lot of tasks to do, there needs to be room for a little bit of oversight... Especially in regards to customers that are doing slightly illogical things...
For example... (we're going back in time to Thursday, because I totally forgot this happened until this morning)
I was doing my other tasks whilst my fellow employee was serving customers...
To be specific, I was changing garbage bags and stocking products...
When I had finished (took about 15 minutes) I loaded myself up with more than an armful of collapsed boxes, and a half dozen relatively full garbage bags- and I headed towards the door, and onward in the dumpster...
Once outside, I noticed the was a car angle parked in the blindpot we have in full serve... The blind spot is the point where both the pillar holding up the building, and pump 7 block the view to any vehicles at pump 8... Normally, you can spot cars at pump 8 when you are walking around the store (as I was) but because she was agle parked, there wasnt a hope in heck of us seeing her, unless one of us happened to go outside..
Why you would angle yourself like that is beyond me... But I shall continue...
I didnt just drop all of the things I was carrying... I made eye contact with the lady, and nodded my head, then walked around the corner and placed all of the junk in a pile out of the way, and then hurried over to full serve...
Now imagine this...
A little old grey haired lady, driving an old ford tempo, with a handicap sign in the rear view mirror...
Now imagine this...
She glares at mean, revs her engine, and speeds out of the parking lot...
And flips me the finger on her way out...
hmm...
For example... (we're going back in time to Thursday, because I totally forgot this happened until this morning)
I was doing my other tasks whilst my fellow employee was serving customers...
To be specific, I was changing garbage bags and stocking products...
When I had finished (took about 15 minutes) I loaded myself up with more than an armful of collapsed boxes, and a half dozen relatively full garbage bags- and I headed towards the door, and onward in the dumpster...
Once outside, I noticed the was a car angle parked in the blindpot we have in full serve... The blind spot is the point where both the pillar holding up the building, and pump 7 block the view to any vehicles at pump 8... Normally, you can spot cars at pump 8 when you are walking around the store (as I was) but because she was agle parked, there wasnt a hope in heck of us seeing her, unless one of us happened to go outside..
Why you would angle yourself like that is beyond me... But I shall continue...
I didnt just drop all of the things I was carrying... I made eye contact with the lady, and nodded my head, then walked around the corner and placed all of the junk in a pile out of the way, and then hurried over to full serve...
Now imagine this...
A little old grey haired lady, driving an old ford tempo, with a handicap sign in the rear view mirror...
Now imagine this...
She glares at mean, revs her engine, and speeds out of the parking lot...
And flips me the finger on her way out...
hmm...
Zieg Heil
Don't be fooled by the clever name of my post... I have not sold my soul in order to be a part of the up and comming fourth reich... My name is just a seguay into my story of the day...
I have officially met the most racist person in the history of the world...
Now, keep in mind, that this is a very large shoe to fill... I have grown up a 'redneck' family, and honky terms for people of other nationalities are not always plesant...
From a very young age I knew what a spic was, and what a wop was, and I could tell you the difference between a chink and a jap (I didnt learn what a gook was until I learned that korean people werent chinks... kidding, please no hate mail)...
Well, needless to say, catching me off guard with racist terms, is a feat...
Well, travel back with me,
to last night, at 11:53
I had just recieved an automated phone call telling me that at 11:59pm, I needed to change the price from 86.9 to 102.2... huge, jump, I know...
Needless to say, in order to avoid any complaining customers, I changed the price of the road sign before I activated the prices at the pump... A long time before...
Now, shortly after I changed the road sign, a lady in a white car pulled up to pump one... At this point in time, the price at the pump was still 86.9, and there were still several other cars pumping gas (at the low price)...
When all the other vehicles had finished pumping (and with the road sign announcing 102.2, not too many new vehicles were comming in), I was waiting on the lone car with a female inside to decide wether she wanted to pump or not...
She was talking on her cell phone, and making no indication of wanting to pump gas... But I still waited..
When she got out of her vehicle, she came straight into the building...
Perhaps she saw the pay-at-the-pump sign... (bwahahahhahahaahaha)
When she came inside, she announced she wanted a pack of dumaurier regs, and headed straight for the washroom (assuming I would have them ready for her when she got back)
Now, under normal circumstances, I would take this to mean 'I just want cigarettes and a toilet'... and as such, I immediately started to change the prices at the pump (I figured I could finish before she got back)...
I missjudged how long it would take, and the price change report was printing just as she got back...
"whats that" she asked...
"its the printoff I get when I activate the prices"
"You changed the prices to 102.2? I'm not going to pay that! Why would you do that? You fucking kike! No you're worse than a Jew! Your worse than a nigger! you're a fucking nigger-jew!" (no, I am serious, this is the chain of logic she followed)
She repeated it a few times before she finally added 'goddamn' before 'nigger-jew'...
So now I'm on a quest...
Being someone of the chirstian persuasion, I know all about being goddamned... In fact, there are entire denominations devoted to picking out the 'god-damned' and seperating them from the 'god-blessed'...
But now I need to find out what a nigger-jew... Is it like a jewgaboo? If you are reading this, and you are in fact a nigger-jew, please inform me, what, exactly, defines you, or your culture...
Anyways, she didnt buy gas, and I totally through her off guard when I yelled "I love you" when she walked out the front door (she gave me the 'are you fucking kidding me' look when she turned around...)
The guy behind me thought the whole ordeal was hillarious... And she flipped me the finger as she drove off...
Goddamn Nigger-Jew hater!
I have officially met the most racist person in the history of the world...
Now, keep in mind, that this is a very large shoe to fill... I have grown up a 'redneck' family, and honky terms for people of other nationalities are not always plesant...
From a very young age I knew what a spic was, and what a wop was, and I could tell you the difference between a chink and a jap (I didnt learn what a gook was until I learned that korean people werent chinks... kidding, please no hate mail)...
Well, needless to say, catching me off guard with racist terms, is a feat...
Well, travel back with me,
to last night, at 11:53
I had just recieved an automated phone call telling me that at 11:59pm, I needed to change the price from 86.9 to 102.2... huge, jump, I know...
Needless to say, in order to avoid any complaining customers, I changed the price of the road sign before I activated the prices at the pump... A long time before...
Now, shortly after I changed the road sign, a lady in a white car pulled up to pump one... At this point in time, the price at the pump was still 86.9, and there were still several other cars pumping gas (at the low price)...
When all the other vehicles had finished pumping (and with the road sign announcing 102.2, not too many new vehicles were comming in), I was waiting on the lone car with a female inside to decide wether she wanted to pump or not...
She was talking on her cell phone, and making no indication of wanting to pump gas... But I still waited..
When she got out of her vehicle, she came straight into the building...
Perhaps she saw the pay-at-the-pump sign... (bwahahahhahahaahaha)
When she came inside, she announced she wanted a pack of dumaurier regs, and headed straight for the washroom (assuming I would have them ready for her when she got back)
Now, under normal circumstances, I would take this to mean 'I just want cigarettes and a toilet'... and as such, I immediately started to change the prices at the pump (I figured I could finish before she got back)...
I missjudged how long it would take, and the price change report was printing just as she got back...
"whats that" she asked...
"its the printoff I get when I activate the prices"
"You changed the prices to 102.2? I'm not going to pay that! Why would you do that? You fucking kike! No you're worse than a Jew! Your worse than a nigger! you're a fucking nigger-jew!" (no, I am serious, this is the chain of logic she followed)
She repeated it a few times before she finally added 'goddamn' before 'nigger-jew'...
So now I'm on a quest...
Being someone of the chirstian persuasion, I know all about being goddamned... In fact, there are entire denominations devoted to picking out the 'god-damned' and seperating them from the 'god-blessed'...
But now I need to find out what a nigger-jew... Is it like a jewgaboo? If you are reading this, and you are in fact a nigger-jew, please inform me, what, exactly, defines you, or your culture...
Anyways, she didnt buy gas, and I totally through her off guard when I yelled "I love you" when she walked out the front door (she gave me the 'are you fucking kidding me' look when she turned around...)
The guy behind me thought the whole ordeal was hillarious... And she flipped me the finger as she drove off...
Goddamn Nigger-Jew hater!
Friday, June 17, 2005
The things I Put up with...
I decided to put up a repetitious name for expressive reasons...
You see, I feel like a broken record, complaining about the same stupid things over and over... and the sad thing is (and anyone in service feel free to back me up) this is because the people I deal with do not improve in intelligence in any way shape or form...
I am dealing with the same stupid issues, often with the same stupid people...
Point and case...
A gentleman comes in and starts screaming at my coworker because the pump charged him an extra $0.42, which he, himself was not willing to pay...
If you read back to last summer, this story has a striking resemblence to the debit lady...
I had a guy come in and very sterly tell me that my piercings are the stupidest thing he's ever seen in my life (I hope his little daughter turns out exceptionally whorish when she grows up... and ends up starring in a piercing fetish gangbang porn flick)
But, again, this is (more or less) what happended last summer...
I've been offered drugs on more occasions than I dare to count; I've seen car accidents caused by people leaving their cars in neutral; and I had to tell mor people not to smoke at a gas station (potential ignition source + volitile liquid + Me = pissed off me)...
Ugh!
And I had to tell more under age punks that their addiction to tobacco means absolutely nothing to me, and that I am not willing to risk losing my job and getting a fine so that they can pretend to be cool...
On the plus side, I am learning basic punjabi (polite greetings, numbers, and a brief explaination of why they shouldn't use fullserve) and I got another raise today (apparently I'm doing an okay job... hehehe... if she only know)
You see, I feel like a broken record, complaining about the same stupid things over and over... and the sad thing is (and anyone in service feel free to back me up) this is because the people I deal with do not improve in intelligence in any way shape or form...
I am dealing with the same stupid issues, often with the same stupid people...
Point and case...
A gentleman comes in and starts screaming at my coworker because the pump charged him an extra $0.42, which he, himself was not willing to pay...
If you read back to last summer, this story has a striking resemblence to the debit lady...
I had a guy come in and very sterly tell me that my piercings are the stupidest thing he's ever seen in my life (I hope his little daughter turns out exceptionally whorish when she grows up... and ends up starring in a piercing fetish gangbang porn flick)
But, again, this is (more or less) what happended last summer...
I've been offered drugs on more occasions than I dare to count; I've seen car accidents caused by people leaving their cars in neutral; and I had to tell mor people not to smoke at a gas station (potential ignition source + volitile liquid + Me = pissed off me)...
Ugh!
And I had to tell more under age punks that their addiction to tobacco means absolutely nothing to me, and that I am not willing to risk losing my job and getting a fine so that they can pretend to be cool...
On the plus side, I am learning basic punjabi (polite greetings, numbers, and a brief explaination of why they shouldn't use fullserve) and I got another raise today (apparently I'm doing an okay job... hehehe... if she only know)
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Things I Put Up With Cuz I Am Paid to Do It
Perhaps the longest title I have ever used... Generally I like to keep them short, but I suppose I'll let this one slide...
Okay, I know your probibly think "holy gees! Another update?"
Well, I'm trying to inflate my ego as much as I can, and the more you guys check back here looking for updates the faster my pave view counter will climb...
Mwahahaha... I'm an evil genius...
Just so you guys dont get your hopes up, this is more a complaint about a lame vehicle than a lame person... And everyone knows I complain better about people than I do about inanimate objects... (although some inanimate objects are significantly more intelligent than some of the people I deal with)...
Well... on to the story...
Two ladies come through full serve...
Actually, they came to get gas and ended up in full serve... They missed the full serve sign (adding to my case towards getting a 'fucking' sign... bwahahaha)...
They didnt really care they were in full serve, as they were in a company vehicle paying with a complany card. Must be nice, eh?
Well, they both step back into the cab of the truck to continue their conversation and leave me to fill their tank...
unbknownst to me, this was going to be the most difficult thing I had ever done (much MUCH more difficult than passing calculus)...
You see, I dont think this truck was designed to fit a conventional gas nozzle...
And by that I mean, the nosal was hard as hell to get in... Thankfully I am the king of getting big things in small holes... or was that small things in big holes... I can never remember...
Regardless... I get the nozzle in there and start pumping away...
Well, if by away, you mean to $0.07... Then, yes, away I went...
Now, I would like to think I know a lot about filling gas tanks up with gasoline... And im pretty certain I know most of the tricks in the book about avoiding the auot kickoff...
But this thing was just retarded... I was angling, I was holding back I was putting the gasoline in so goddamn slow that there is no goddamn way the goddamn thing should have goddamn kincked off...
But it did... After several minutes of fighting, and making it to $2.30 in $.03-.07 incriments, I finally sought out the aid of the two ladies in the car...
Their advice... Turn the nozzle upised down and pump slowly...
I follwed half of their advice (as I wanted to get away from this vehicle of satan as fast as I could), and when it started pumping smoothly, I was so relieved...
...that i forgot that turning the nozzle upside down would render the automatic kickoff completely useless...
...which it did...
...and spilled gasoline... and a lot of it...
I felt like such a tool... Standing there in full serve with litres and litres of gasoline on the ground (well.. it was probibly significantly less than a litre, but that didnt decrease the 'tool' potential)...
Worse yet, there were two tanks to be filled and I was only half way finished (joy!)...
The second thank, I took at a much more leisurely pace... And I was turning red from embarassment... So standing out there for the few minutes that it took felt like death...
I had hoped to retire from the petroleum distribution profession victorious... But this will forever put a smear on my name... and my childrens names...
how will I ever show my face again?
Oh! mac'n'cheese is ready!
Okay, I know your probibly think "holy gees! Another update?"
Well, I'm trying to inflate my ego as much as I can, and the more you guys check back here looking for updates the faster my pave view counter will climb...
Mwahahaha... I'm an evil genius...
Just so you guys dont get your hopes up, this is more a complaint about a lame vehicle than a lame person... And everyone knows I complain better about people than I do about inanimate objects... (although some inanimate objects are significantly more intelligent than some of the people I deal with)...
Well... on to the story...
Two ladies come through full serve...
Actually, they came to get gas and ended up in full serve... They missed the full serve sign (adding to my case towards getting a 'fucking' sign... bwahahaha)...
They didnt really care they were in full serve, as they were in a company vehicle paying with a complany card. Must be nice, eh?
Well, they both step back into the cab of the truck to continue their conversation and leave me to fill their tank...
unbknownst to me, this was going to be the most difficult thing I had ever done (much MUCH more difficult than passing calculus)...
You see, I dont think this truck was designed to fit a conventional gas nozzle...
And by that I mean, the nosal was hard as hell to get in... Thankfully I am the king of getting big things in small holes... or was that small things in big holes... I can never remember...
Regardless... I get the nozzle in there and start pumping away...
Well, if by away, you mean to $0.07... Then, yes, away I went...
Now, I would like to think I know a lot about filling gas tanks up with gasoline... And im pretty certain I know most of the tricks in the book about avoiding the auot kickoff...
But this thing was just retarded... I was angling, I was holding back I was putting the gasoline in so goddamn slow that there is no goddamn way the goddamn thing should have goddamn kincked off...
But it did... After several minutes of fighting, and making it to $2.30 in $.03-.07 incriments, I finally sought out the aid of the two ladies in the car...
Their advice... Turn the nozzle upised down and pump slowly...
I follwed half of their advice (as I wanted to get away from this vehicle of satan as fast as I could), and when it started pumping smoothly, I was so relieved...
...that i forgot that turning the nozzle upside down would render the automatic kickoff completely useless...
...which it did...
...and spilled gasoline... and a lot of it...
I felt like such a tool... Standing there in full serve with litres and litres of gasoline on the ground (well.. it was probibly significantly less than a litre, but that didnt decrease the 'tool' potential)...
Worse yet, there were two tanks to be filled and I was only half way finished (joy!)...
The second thank, I took at a much more leisurely pace... And I was turning red from embarassment... So standing out there for the few minutes that it took felt like death...
I had hoped to retire from the petroleum distribution profession victorious... But this will forever put a smear on my name... and my childrens names...
how will I ever show my face again?
Oh! mac'n'cheese is ready!
Tiresome People
My title for this is slightly misleading... There is actually only one person whom was really tiresome...
I'll give you a hint she was a customer... and she was bitchy...
Thats right, a bitchy customer...
Well, I bet you all know I have a story to tell...
I was in the midst of serving a customer (my co-worker was stocking the potato chips) when a full serve pulled up...
I was just waiting for the debit to go through, so I yelled to my co-worker that all was fine, and that I would get the full serve so she could continue putting away the salty-packaged-bags-o'-potato-goodness...
Enter the bitch...
She had come running in from the full serve pump (keep in mind this is a period of about 20 seconds between swiping the card, customer entering debit info, and recipt getting printed... we are the most debiting country in the world, you should all be familiar with the process)... She throws (and I mean balls up and physically tosses) a $5 bill at me all the while saying in a raised and angry tone "If we have to prepay there should be a fucking sign"
I wanted to shout back "If you didnt see the fucking full serve sign then why the fuck would you see the prepay sign?"
but I didnt...
The moral of the story is i want to now petition to put up a sign that says "fucking only"... or something... That was whenever someone tells me I "need to have a fucking sign" I can point to it...
I'll give you a hint she was a customer... and she was bitchy...
Thats right, a bitchy customer...
Well, I bet you all know I have a story to tell...
I was in the midst of serving a customer (my co-worker was stocking the potato chips) when a full serve pulled up...
I was just waiting for the debit to go through, so I yelled to my co-worker that all was fine, and that I would get the full serve so she could continue putting away the salty-packaged-bags-o'-potato-goodness...
Enter the bitch...
She had come running in from the full serve pump (keep in mind this is a period of about 20 seconds between swiping the card, customer entering debit info, and recipt getting printed... we are the most debiting country in the world, you should all be familiar with the process)... She throws (and I mean balls up and physically tosses) a $5 bill at me all the while saying in a raised and angry tone "If we have to prepay there should be a fucking sign"
I wanted to shout back "If you didnt see the fucking full serve sign then why the fuck would you see the prepay sign?"
but I didnt...
The moral of the story is i want to now petition to put up a sign that says "fucking only"... or something... That was whenever someone tells me I "need to have a fucking sign" I can point to it...
Monday, June 13, 2005
Weekend
So its been a few days since my last update.. I apologise.. I worked a lot this weekend and time that I wasn't working, I wasn;t sitting on my ass in front of the computer (I know its hard to believe but youre going to have to just accept it)...
Where to start...
If I said that I just had the most entertaining weekend of work ever, I would be lying out of my ass... It was, more or less, painful from the very get go...
Thursday night started off alright, I had reached my upsell quotient before 11pm (I know, woot woot) Thats when it all went to hell... People just stopped comming... Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be complaining about this, buts it has been a long while since I worked a weekday graveyard, and I have to say, it was dead... I was taking back to back smoke breaks to pass the time after I had done all my chores and whatnot...
And then, during the last hour where I'm supposed to prep the store to switch shifts (change the mop water, brew the different flavors of coffee etc), people just started swarming the store... Welcome to the weekday commute... Which I had totally forgotten about... Next thing I know, Im selling out of coffee as fast as I can make it, I have customers lined up at the pumps and at the till, I can't get the store in to lockdown to change the mop water, and I havent even started counting cigarettes...
The morning staff thought it was hillarious...
After getting home and having a brief nap, I woke up to go tux shopping 9cuz i needed a tux)... Follwed by movies with friends followed by another graveyard shift...
And let me say, this one was fun...
It started off busy (as fridays usually do)... My friends (who stopped by) noted how many more people are at our gas station as compared to the gas station of another friend... I had already attempted for 20 minues to clean up an amazing large slurpee spill (I think somneone somehow managed to hook a hose to the slurpee dispenser and allow it to flow directly onto the floor) of which no customer thought to inform me... but judging by the number of foot prints trudged through the store, they all went out of their way to walk through it... I was failing, more or less, at the cleanup, but I was at least able to get most of the colour gone... just not the goo-stick that I so much detest...
So back to my story... My friends are trudging through the store, trying to entertain themselves until I have a few free moments (doesnt happen too often, but they were hopeful) when Shannon (shannonspoetry.blogspot.com) informs me that someone had knocked over a conatiner of $0.05 candies... She then points at the purp. whom was trying to conceal his identity over at the sunglasses and magazine station of the store... I'm still trying to serve customers, so i bribe shannon and sharon (sharessharing.blogspot.com) with slurpees to clean it up for me...
After they are finished, and we have chatted a little bit, the guy finally comes up to the counter to pay for his things (a bottle of pop and a few candies) and informs me
"I may have spilled a few candies"
First off, this is several minutes after the initial incident, and a few minutes after the cleanup (which he was standing next to, and not participating in), and it was a large tub of candies... not a few... And why the fuck would you walk away from sucha big mess... And why the fuck would you admit to it, and then not apologise? Did he not see that i had to get patrons of my store to clean it up for him? did he not see that there was a lot of candy that can no longer be sold because of his actions?
I know, Im getting upset over candies... And I think I handled it really well... but I think I burned a hole through his jacket with my glaring...
And thats not where it ends folks (well.. thats where that story ends...)
Not more than a few minutes after this guy, two sketch guys come into the store and make some relatively sketch purchases on a totally sketch credit card, that had conviniently lost the magnitivity of its magnetic strip...
O of course, phoned visa...
It took about 10 minutes (maybe 15... I can never really be sure, Im horrible at guessing time)... But visa gave me clearance on the card, and everything was hunky dory... Except for the fact, that this entire time, I was not able to serve any other customers... who were lining up in throngs... and looking angrier by the minute...
I was throwing out free coffee and slurpees like confetti at time square to appease the horde...
I finally managed to get my baking started at 130 that night (normally it would be done and I would have been doing dished by that time) So needless to say, nothing got done... Especially when you consider that some drunk wench (I'm talking sleazy bar wench, not hot pirate ship wench) spent like 25 minutes going through the store looking for something to eat to make herself feel better... she was obviously upset about something... maybe she finally realised how whoreish kneehigh stilleto boots, short-shorts and a clevage based tanktop (sans bra) made her look... but who am I to jusdge, right?
While she was looking for comfort food, I was forced to do only duties which can be done in plain sight of the entirity of the sotre... ie: stock things, and clean counters...
Now, I dont know about you, but once youve cleaned a counter, it generally remains clean for quite a while (unless children are buying slurpees nearby)... so towards the end of her little shopping experience, I was banging my hear on the glass lotto display to pass the time...
My night ended rather abruptly... Like I said, I didnt have a chance to getmost of my work done, and so I was frantically running around to get things done when the morning staff showed up...
Saturday was a bit more entertaining...
A friend from highschool... Well, sorta a friend, we got along quite well, but we stopped talking after our school split up into clayton/tweedsmuir... Came in and ordered cigarettes... now my friend isn't actually the eldest looking fellow, but since he was in my grad class, he is, at the very least, 20 years old, and so giving him his cigarettes wasn;t a problem at all... in fact, I will go so far as to say it was a problem free transaction... Well... My having not asked for I.D. gave balls to the twelve year olds in the store, who proceeded to come up to the counter with (I'm not making this up... I don't think I could make this up) a bottle of orange crush, a pack of bubbalicious bubble gum, and, here's the punchline, asked for a pack of captain blacks...
I tried my darndest not to laugh... (It's happened 'fore that a person whom I though looked no more than 15 had two pieces of photo identification, and a health care card prooving that he was 27... I felt like an ass...) I asked for some ID, they said they didnt have any, I said no ID no sale...
The words that came out of their mouth after that was something I will not repeat here... I'm sure you can guess what sort of explatives they used (a few of them I've already used in this post)...
Then they go off on "you let that last kidbuy smokes without ID" to which I replied "you mean tyler whom I've known for 8 years and who graduated the same year as I?"
That shut them up... and they ended up not buying their candies and pop...
Fucking pretentious little shits...
But I digress...
Finally, I got called in for a shift sunday evening (I covered for a sick staff member... not because I need the added stress, more because I know that if I ever need a day off, it's better to have specific instances to refer to)
It was just a four hour shift... But we couldn't keep the slurpee off of the floor...
It was just spill after spill after spill...
I was considering doing a 'Hulk' like thing and picking the slurpe machines up off the floor and throwing them though the large glass wall at the front of the store, and then running through the streets causing havoc...
But I didn't...
And that was my weekend...
(I also ate quish, kabobs, lamb, basil, and pepperoni somewhere in there, too... but I figured that was implied...)
Where to start...
If I said that I just had the most entertaining weekend of work ever, I would be lying out of my ass... It was, more or less, painful from the very get go...
Thursday night started off alright, I had reached my upsell quotient before 11pm (I know, woot woot) Thats when it all went to hell... People just stopped comming... Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't be complaining about this, buts it has been a long while since I worked a weekday graveyard, and I have to say, it was dead... I was taking back to back smoke breaks to pass the time after I had done all my chores and whatnot...
And then, during the last hour where I'm supposed to prep the store to switch shifts (change the mop water, brew the different flavors of coffee etc), people just started swarming the store... Welcome to the weekday commute... Which I had totally forgotten about... Next thing I know, Im selling out of coffee as fast as I can make it, I have customers lined up at the pumps and at the till, I can't get the store in to lockdown to change the mop water, and I havent even started counting cigarettes...
The morning staff thought it was hillarious...
After getting home and having a brief nap, I woke up to go tux shopping 9cuz i needed a tux)... Follwed by movies with friends followed by another graveyard shift...
And let me say, this one was fun...
It started off busy (as fridays usually do)... My friends (who stopped by) noted how many more people are at our gas station as compared to the gas station of another friend... I had already attempted for 20 minues to clean up an amazing large slurpee spill (I think somneone somehow managed to hook a hose to the slurpee dispenser and allow it to flow directly onto the floor) of which no customer thought to inform me... but judging by the number of foot prints trudged through the store, they all went out of their way to walk through it... I was failing, more or less, at the cleanup, but I was at least able to get most of the colour gone... just not the goo-stick that I so much detest...
So back to my story... My friends are trudging through the store, trying to entertain themselves until I have a few free moments (doesnt happen too often, but they were hopeful) when Shannon (shannonspoetry.blogspot.com) informs me that someone had knocked over a conatiner of $0.05 candies... She then points at the purp. whom was trying to conceal his identity over at the sunglasses and magazine station of the store... I'm still trying to serve customers, so i bribe shannon and sharon (sharessharing.blogspot.com) with slurpees to clean it up for me...
After they are finished, and we have chatted a little bit, the guy finally comes up to the counter to pay for his things (a bottle of pop and a few candies) and informs me
"I may have spilled a few candies"
First off, this is several minutes after the initial incident, and a few minutes after the cleanup (which he was standing next to, and not participating in), and it was a large tub of candies... not a few... And why the fuck would you walk away from sucha big mess... And why the fuck would you admit to it, and then not apologise? Did he not see that i had to get patrons of my store to clean it up for him? did he not see that there was a lot of candy that can no longer be sold because of his actions?
I know, Im getting upset over candies... And I think I handled it really well... but I think I burned a hole through his jacket with my glaring...
And thats not where it ends folks (well.. thats where that story ends...)
Not more than a few minutes after this guy, two sketch guys come into the store and make some relatively sketch purchases on a totally sketch credit card, that had conviniently lost the magnitivity of its magnetic strip...
O of course, phoned visa...
It took about 10 minutes (maybe 15... I can never really be sure, Im horrible at guessing time)... But visa gave me clearance on the card, and everything was hunky dory... Except for the fact, that this entire time, I was not able to serve any other customers... who were lining up in throngs... and looking angrier by the minute...
I was throwing out free coffee and slurpees like confetti at time square to appease the horde...
I finally managed to get my baking started at 130 that night (normally it would be done and I would have been doing dished by that time) So needless to say, nothing got done... Especially when you consider that some drunk wench (I'm talking sleazy bar wench, not hot pirate ship wench) spent like 25 minutes going through the store looking for something to eat to make herself feel better... she was obviously upset about something... maybe she finally realised how whoreish kneehigh stilleto boots, short-shorts and a clevage based tanktop (sans bra) made her look... but who am I to jusdge, right?
While she was looking for comfort food, I was forced to do only duties which can be done in plain sight of the entirity of the sotre... ie: stock things, and clean counters...
Now, I dont know about you, but once youve cleaned a counter, it generally remains clean for quite a while (unless children are buying slurpees nearby)... so towards the end of her little shopping experience, I was banging my hear on the glass lotto display to pass the time...
My night ended rather abruptly... Like I said, I didnt have a chance to getmost of my work done, and so I was frantically running around to get things done when the morning staff showed up...
Saturday was a bit more entertaining...
A friend from highschool... Well, sorta a friend, we got along quite well, but we stopped talking after our school split up into clayton/tweedsmuir... Came in and ordered cigarettes... now my friend isn't actually the eldest looking fellow, but since he was in my grad class, he is, at the very least, 20 years old, and so giving him his cigarettes wasn;t a problem at all... in fact, I will go so far as to say it was a problem free transaction... Well... My having not asked for I.D. gave balls to the twelve year olds in the store, who proceeded to come up to the counter with (I'm not making this up... I don't think I could make this up) a bottle of orange crush, a pack of bubbalicious bubble gum, and, here's the punchline, asked for a pack of captain blacks...
I tried my darndest not to laugh... (It's happened 'fore that a person whom I though looked no more than 15 had two pieces of photo identification, and a health care card prooving that he was 27... I felt like an ass...) I asked for some ID, they said they didnt have any, I said no ID no sale...
The words that came out of their mouth after that was something I will not repeat here... I'm sure you can guess what sort of explatives they used (a few of them I've already used in this post)...
Then they go off on "you let that last kidbuy smokes without ID" to which I replied "you mean tyler whom I've known for 8 years and who graduated the same year as I?"
That shut them up... and they ended up not buying their candies and pop...
Fucking pretentious little shits...
But I digress...
Finally, I got called in for a shift sunday evening (I covered for a sick staff member... not because I need the added stress, more because I know that if I ever need a day off, it's better to have specific instances to refer to)
It was just a four hour shift... But we couldn't keep the slurpee off of the floor...
It was just spill after spill after spill...
I was considering doing a 'Hulk' like thing and picking the slurpe machines up off the floor and throwing them though the large glass wall at the front of the store, and then running through the streets causing havoc...
But I didn't...
And that was my weekend...
(I also ate quish, kabobs, lamb, basil, and pepperoni somewhere in there, too... but I figured that was implied...)
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Customer Loyalty Cards
I hope everyone here understands the purpose of customer loyalty cards... And why places like Save-on, Safeway and petro can use them... So we can track the spending habits of an indivual that we know the (age group, gender and marital status) of, providing us with needed information as to what sorts of items that (agre group/gender/marital status) is buying... This information is extremely valuable in regards to marketing, and far outweighs the cost of providing discounts to the consumer... We are, after all a profit driven private enterprise (thank you privitization of canadas natural resources several decades ago)... Anyways...
A guy comes in this evening, and gives me all boat loads of heck because I can't manually override the compute to take 3.5 cents off per litre (thus defeating the purpose of the 3.5 cents per litre in encouraging the consumers to use the very valuable card)...
I kept trying to beat it into his ever thickening skull that I am not able to provide him the benefits of a program which he refuses to participate in...
Then he goes into 'rage' script one section b (we've all heard it before): "blah blah blah you're incompetent... blah blah blah I'll call you're boss... blah blah blah enjoy working tonight cuz you're going to be fired tomorrow... blah blah blah I'm never shopping here again..."
*yawn*
Do people not realize that once you aknowlege you will be refraining from purchasing items or services, companies have no interest in providing those services and items... A person on a forum once told me that is why you get such crappy service when you cancel a cell phone or a long distance plan... Thats where the trainees or the "inch away from being fired"'s are put...
Like my boss is going to bend over backwards to help a customer who openly admits to never comming into our store again, so that he can rip her off 3.5 cents for every litre he puts in his dodge minivan...
I'll start looking for a new job on monday...
A guy comes in this evening, and gives me all boat loads of heck because I can't manually override the compute to take 3.5 cents off per litre (thus defeating the purpose of the 3.5 cents per litre in encouraging the consumers to use the very valuable card)...
I kept trying to beat it into his ever thickening skull that I am not able to provide him the benefits of a program which he refuses to participate in...
Then he goes into 'rage' script one section b (we've all heard it before): "blah blah blah you're incompetent... blah blah blah I'll call you're boss... blah blah blah enjoy working tonight cuz you're going to be fired tomorrow... blah blah blah I'm never shopping here again..."
*yawn*
Do people not realize that once you aknowlege you will be refraining from purchasing items or services, companies have no interest in providing those services and items... A person on a forum once told me that is why you get such crappy service when you cancel a cell phone or a long distance plan... Thats where the trainees or the "inch away from being fired"'s are put...
Like my boss is going to bend over backwards to help a customer who openly admits to never comming into our store again, so that he can rip her off 3.5 cents for every litre he puts in his dodge minivan...
I'll start looking for a new job on monday...
This'll be fun
Generally, I loathe sentimentality, so I have reservations about doing this... but I feel guilty cuz I participated on a different blog, and have yet to put his on my own... I'll sandwich this between a story, which I'll try to post right away...
01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal.
(In case you noticed, these are not necessarily serious questions so I will not necessarily put heartfelt and deep answers)
01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal.
(In case you noticed, these are not necessarily serious questions so I will not necessarily put heartfelt and deep answers)
Monday, June 06, 2005
Mop
So, as I'm sure you can imagine, I have to mop the the store at some point during my shift...
Its sad but true (I think I've mentioned mopping before, but never as an active complaint)
This weekend, mopping became my least favourite chore...
Imagine this... You arrive to work to find a note in your internal log (I'm sorry but I broke the mop).. followed a few pages later by "I think the replacement mop isn't broken" followed a few pages later still by "the dinkt little mop doesnt work at all"...
Joy!
So, I'm sure your all wondering, how does one mop a store with no mop?
A ha ha ha ha ha
You use a push broom which you have to dip in water every 10 seconds...
And it doesnt really 'mop' per se...
It more or less just pushes muddy water around the store...
but with repeated dipping and pushing, the water gets less and less murky...
Result: after 2 hours of mopping a store that looks like it has brown tiled flooring... and an employee whom looks like he wants to go home...
As a side note... If you are reading this, and your blog is listed on left hand side, and you have not updated your blog recently (I'll let you decide what recent is) I suggest you do so... I need something to read as well...
Its sad but true (I think I've mentioned mopping before, but never as an active complaint)
This weekend, mopping became my least favourite chore...
Imagine this... You arrive to work to find a note in your internal log (I'm sorry but I broke the mop).. followed a few pages later by "I think the replacement mop isn't broken" followed a few pages later still by "the dinkt little mop doesnt work at all"...
Joy!
So, I'm sure your all wondering, how does one mop a store with no mop?
A ha ha ha ha ha
You use a push broom which you have to dip in water every 10 seconds...
And it doesnt really 'mop' per se...
It more or less just pushes muddy water around the store...
but with repeated dipping and pushing, the water gets less and less murky...
Result: after 2 hours of mopping a store that looks like it has brown tiled flooring... and an employee whom looks like he wants to go home...
As a side note... If you are reading this, and your blog is listed on left hand side, and you have not updated your blog recently (I'll let you decide what recent is) I suggest you do so... I need something to read as well...
Friday, June 03, 2005
Multiple Purchases
Today was an alright day -- I was lazy as heck, but thats besides the point ;)
Anyways, an extended Sikh family comes in to the (I say extended because the three women look excpetionally alike and were wearing matching clothing... well their clothing was made of matching fabric... really nice silk...)
They brought with them children, who inevitably ran straight for the slurpee machine... Each person grabed a slurpee cup, filled it up and came back to the till... Otherwise, these would have been perfectly acceptable customers, had what transpired next not occured...
I ring in the slurpees, announce the total, ask for a ptro points card, offer the upsell (doritos for $0.79) and grab the method of payment. A mastercard.
I swipe it through and the computer goes through the verification process... I return the card...
It usually takes about 6 seconds, there is a timer on the computer...
About 4 seconds in to the verification, one of the ladies announces she would like a pack of Peter Jackson light kingsize.
I grab it, and ask for a method of payment, she slides the credit card back across the counter...
O...kay...
I ring it through...
This is where the boyfriend comes from out of nowhere, and puts bottles of pop on the counter, announcing this too (the recipt from the smokes transaction is already printing)...
I ring the bottles of pop in, ask how theyd like to pay for this, the credit card comes sliding back...
This time I check... "Is this everything?" I ask sheepishly...
*nods*
I swipe the card a third time, verification again...
The boyfriend is halfway across the store grabbing bags of chips before the recipt starts printing...
He comes back with two bads of doritos (on special for 2/$5), for the final transaction on the card...
So now I'm standing here waiting for him to sign for all four purchases (each recipt is a must sign) thinking "I hope he gets a paper cut"...
No such luck...
My last hope is that he gets charged an exhorbant amount when he exceeds a certain number of transactions...
Anyways, an extended Sikh family comes in to the (I say extended because the three women look excpetionally alike and were wearing matching clothing... well their clothing was made of matching fabric... really nice silk...)
They brought with them children, who inevitably ran straight for the slurpee machine... Each person grabed a slurpee cup, filled it up and came back to the till... Otherwise, these would have been perfectly acceptable customers, had what transpired next not occured...
I ring in the slurpees, announce the total, ask for a ptro points card, offer the upsell (doritos for $0.79) and grab the method of payment. A mastercard.
I swipe it through and the computer goes through the verification process... I return the card...
It usually takes about 6 seconds, there is a timer on the computer...
About 4 seconds in to the verification, one of the ladies announces she would like a pack of Peter Jackson light kingsize.
I grab it, and ask for a method of payment, she slides the credit card back across the counter...
O...kay...
I ring it through...
This is where the boyfriend comes from out of nowhere, and puts bottles of pop on the counter, announcing this too (the recipt from the smokes transaction is already printing)...
I ring the bottles of pop in, ask how theyd like to pay for this, the credit card comes sliding back...
This time I check... "Is this everything?" I ask sheepishly...
*nods*
I swipe the card a third time, verification again...
The boyfriend is halfway across the store grabbing bags of chips before the recipt starts printing...
He comes back with two bads of doritos (on special for 2/$5), for the final transaction on the card...
So now I'm standing here waiting for him to sign for all four purchases (each recipt is a must sign) thinking "I hope he gets a paper cut"...
No such luck...
My last hope is that he gets charged an exhorbant amount when he exceeds a certain number of transactions...
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Full Service
I love doing full serve... Nothing makes me happier than charging someone 118.9 cents a litre to put premium gas into a vehicle that would more than likely survive on regular; simply for the fact that 1) the oerson is too dumb to pump the gas themselves and 2) they dont know that high octane fuel is not necessary for the health of most cars...
But thats not my complaint about full serve today...
Oh golly no... You should know my blogs better than that...
I go outside to do a full serve... I wash the windows, check oil, and put on the biggest and brightest Tiny Tim smile at the meager tip I get (as if it's going to make this years Christmas the best Christmas Ever! God Bless Us, Everyone!!!), complete the transaction, etc etc etc...
I stayed behind for a few seconds, because I noticed the full serve garbage can was approaching the overflow capacity... And its really lame trying to get those garbage bags from the waste receptical to the dumpster if they're full...
I then go inside to continue my duties as the best Petro Can GSA in Canada (plaque pending)...
A few seconds after entering through the main door, I am informed that there is another car pulling into full serve...
I say pulling in, because it makes the next part of the story that much more obscene (please note my fellow GSA saw the car pull in, I did not)...
I get outside, the windows down and the automatic gas door is open already... and as no attempt on the part of the occupants to remove their persons from the vehicle, so I assume this is a legitimate full serve... (we get a lot of illigitimate full serves... people that pull up, and are out of their cars as we walk up... I try to stand just slightly off to the side of the giant sign that says "FULL SERVE" in these situations, as it makes them feel that much more stupid for having missed it in the first place... Combined with the fact that it allows them to come to the realization themselves, that they did something stupid, and that way I dont have to discipline them... But i should really get back to my story)
I walk around to the drivers door, trying to be as polite as possible; making eye contact, smiling slightly, standing just away from the vehicle so as not to appear to threatening (as a male with piercings, I find that people geta little scared by me)...
What happens next caught me really off guard...
She starts yelling at me for taking so long and shes been waiting for ten minutes and she has to get home because her baby needs to have his diaper changed and she has to get the roast in the oven because it needs to be cooked for when her husband gets home and she thought she would take full serve because its quicker and more convenient except today because I took my sweet assed time getting outside and now her entire day is ruined and shell call my manager and tell her all of this and Im going ot be so sorry that I took so long because shes going ot make such a big deal out of this and did she mention that shes pregnant again and its really hard for her to stand up and she didnt want to have to pay the extra four cents a litre but she was sure that it would be quick but it wasnt and shell never take full serve at this petro can location again and I should reimburse her for the extra four cents because the amount of time I took was uncalled for and....
I'm sure you get the idea...
Keep in mind that:
1) I was supposed to reimburse her for gasoline I didnt put in her car
2)My co worker saw her pulling in...
3) I could have filled her tank in the time it took her to rant on and on like that...
Fini
But thats not my complaint about full serve today...
Oh golly no... You should know my blogs better than that...
I go outside to do a full serve... I wash the windows, check oil, and put on the biggest and brightest Tiny Tim smile at the meager tip I get (as if it's going to make this years Christmas the best Christmas Ever! God Bless Us, Everyone!!!), complete the transaction, etc etc etc...
I stayed behind for a few seconds, because I noticed the full serve garbage can was approaching the overflow capacity... And its really lame trying to get those garbage bags from the waste receptical to the dumpster if they're full...
I then go inside to continue my duties as the best Petro Can GSA in Canada (plaque pending)...
A few seconds after entering through the main door, I am informed that there is another car pulling into full serve...
I say pulling in, because it makes the next part of the story that much more obscene (please note my fellow GSA saw the car pull in, I did not)...
I get outside, the windows down and the automatic gas door is open already... and as no attempt on the part of the occupants to remove their persons from the vehicle, so I assume this is a legitimate full serve... (we get a lot of illigitimate full serves... people that pull up, and are out of their cars as we walk up... I try to stand just slightly off to the side of the giant sign that says "FULL SERVE" in these situations, as it makes them feel that much more stupid for having missed it in the first place... Combined with the fact that it allows them to come to the realization themselves, that they did something stupid, and that way I dont have to discipline them... But i should really get back to my story)
I walk around to the drivers door, trying to be as polite as possible; making eye contact, smiling slightly, standing just away from the vehicle so as not to appear to threatening (as a male with piercings, I find that people geta little scared by me)...
What happens next caught me really off guard...
She starts yelling at me for taking so long and shes been waiting for ten minutes and she has to get home because her baby needs to have his diaper changed and she has to get the roast in the oven because it needs to be cooked for when her husband gets home and she thought she would take full serve because its quicker and more convenient except today because I took my sweet assed time getting outside and now her entire day is ruined and shell call my manager and tell her all of this and Im going ot be so sorry that I took so long because shes going ot make such a big deal out of this and did she mention that shes pregnant again and its really hard for her to stand up and she didnt want to have to pay the extra four cents a litre but she was sure that it would be quick but it wasnt and shell never take full serve at this petro can location again and I should reimburse her for the extra four cents because the amount of time I took was uncalled for and....
I'm sure you get the idea...
Keep in mind that:
1) I was supposed to reimburse her for gasoline I didnt put in her car
2)My co worker saw her pulling in...
3) I could have filled her tank in the time it took her to rant on and on like that...
Fini
Monday, May 30, 2005
Gross Stupidity, and Just Plain Gross
Another weekend work binge (joy!) and another swath of stories... but Ive been awake for the better part of 30 hours, so I may be a little more brief than I would like to be...
After dealing with drunk people for a few hours, I had, more or less, been pushed to the brink of what I could handle in regards to stupidity... Drunk people are stupid, go figure, eh?
Well... thats not the problem... the problem stems from otherwise sober people (or mostly sober... I'm not here to jusdge)...
You see there are many things I would suggest doing when you start pumping gas... Scan the site looking for drunk hotties; there are usually quite a few of them on friday and saturday nights... Or you could watch the screen by the fuel pumped screen which displays advertisements of products to buy inside the store... Or you could phase out while contemplating the meaning of life and the interrelation of mind body and spirit...
One thing I would NOT recommend doing when you start pumping your gas is... wait for it, wait for it.... light a cigarette...
Needless to say I had a few choice words come out over the intercom... I wont repeat the expletives here, for I'm sure you can all imagine the words I had to say... But rest assured I ended, in a very angry tone, with the word PLEASE!
Something along the lines of "your going to kill us all, put out the cigarette, please"
(For those of you that are wondering, the places I may have sworn are indicated with the spaces)
Now... This is all fine and dandy (the guy actually gave me the finger before he put out his cigarette) but, I kid you not, less than an hour later, a person tries to pull the same shit...
I could have died...
It would have been the biggest explosion in canadian history since the 1917 halifax thingy where a bunch of people were hurt and/or killed...
I could have died twice!
Which leads me to the next topic of choice... People who buy things they shouldn't...
Well, it's not that they shouldn't, because who am I to judge a person... But none the less, I could have a lived a much more happy and meaningful life having avoided these experiences...
These stories have the potential to be a little bit riske, so if your sensitive, replace any objectionable words with puppy...
Here goes...
A man, with a long flowing unwashed white beard and all but 30 hairs gone from the top of his wrinkled comes to the counter and says in a raspy I've-been-smoking-for50-years-voice (overt your eyes):
"I need condoms, lots of condoms"
This guy would have been sensored from Kink...
*shiver*
He also bought pepperoni and smokes...
Later in the evening (thankfully God allowed me a little recovery time, unlike with the smoking) a man, with the whole Im-a-perv look comes in and buys some condoms...
Overall creepy people buy condoms quite a bit, perhaps there is a subculture I am unaware of, where women like the skinny pale skinned 40 y/o mamas boy look, but again, who am I to jusdge...
I digress...
This same man is back about 10 minutes later and asks if he can use the washroom...
On his way out, he politely comments on the fact that there is no more tp left in the washroom...
Since I was still couting on another major bar rush, I figured I would stock up on tp rather than having thirty bimbos complaining about how they had to use paper towel to wipe...
I lock down my fort, double check that there isnt someone walking to the door at that very moment and then make a break to the stock room and then to the washroom...
Thats when I find the surprise (brace yourselves people)
A spent condom is stuck to the inside rim of the toilet (and the last person to use the washroom before him was me... and trust me, I didnt put it there)...
I dont think you can understand how much, at that very moment, I was thinking "I am not getting paid enough"...
I tried flushing the toilet a couldnt of times, completely disregarding the fact that it says on condom wrappers that latex condoms are not to be flushed... I certainly wasnt about to pick it up and put it in the garbage...
I eventually resorted to coaxing it into the bowl with the toilet plunger, burying it with tp so as to provide ample weight the gurantee the disgusting lump of plastic and man-seed was whisked from my life...
Now if only I could find a large roll of metaphysical toilet paper and a large metaphysical toilet so I could get this memory out of my head...
After dealing with drunk people for a few hours, I had, more or less, been pushed to the brink of what I could handle in regards to stupidity... Drunk people are stupid, go figure, eh?
Well... thats not the problem... the problem stems from otherwise sober people (or mostly sober... I'm not here to jusdge)...
You see there are many things I would suggest doing when you start pumping gas... Scan the site looking for drunk hotties; there are usually quite a few of them on friday and saturday nights... Or you could watch the screen by the fuel pumped screen which displays advertisements of products to buy inside the store... Or you could phase out while contemplating the meaning of life and the interrelation of mind body and spirit...
One thing I would NOT recommend doing when you start pumping your gas is... wait for it, wait for it.... light a cigarette...
Needless to say I had a few choice words come out over the intercom... I wont repeat the expletives here, for I'm sure you can all imagine the words I had to say... But rest assured I ended, in a very angry tone, with the word PLEASE!
Something along the lines of "your going to kill us all, put out the cigarette, please"
(For those of you that are wondering, the places I may have sworn are indicated with the spaces)
Now... This is all fine and dandy (the guy actually gave me the finger before he put out his cigarette) but, I kid you not, less than an hour later, a person tries to pull the same shit...
I could have died...
It would have been the biggest explosion in canadian history since the 1917 halifax thingy where a bunch of people were hurt and/or killed...
I could have died twice!
Which leads me to the next topic of choice... People who buy things they shouldn't...
Well, it's not that they shouldn't, because who am I to judge a person... But none the less, I could have a lived a much more happy and meaningful life having avoided these experiences...
These stories have the potential to be a little bit riske, so if your sensitive, replace any objectionable words with puppy...
Here goes...
A man, with a long flowing unwashed white beard and all but 30 hairs gone from the top of his wrinkled comes to the counter and says in a raspy I've-been-smoking-for50-years-voice (overt your eyes):
"I need condoms, lots of condoms"
This guy would have been sensored from Kink...
*shiver*
He also bought pepperoni and smokes...
Later in the evening (thankfully God allowed me a little recovery time, unlike with the smoking) a man, with the whole Im-a-perv look comes in and buys some condoms...
Overall creepy people buy condoms quite a bit, perhaps there is a subculture I am unaware of, where women like the skinny pale skinned 40 y/o mamas boy look, but again, who am I to jusdge...
I digress...
This same man is back about 10 minutes later and asks if he can use the washroom...
On his way out, he politely comments on the fact that there is no more tp left in the washroom...
Since I was still couting on another major bar rush, I figured I would stock up on tp rather than having thirty bimbos complaining about how they had to use paper towel to wipe...
I lock down my fort, double check that there isnt someone walking to the door at that very moment and then make a break to the stock room and then to the washroom...
Thats when I find the surprise (brace yourselves people)
A spent condom is stuck to the inside rim of the toilet (and the last person to use the washroom before him was me... and trust me, I didnt put it there)...
I dont think you can understand how much, at that very moment, I was thinking "I am not getting paid enough"...
I tried flushing the toilet a couldnt of times, completely disregarding the fact that it says on condom wrappers that latex condoms are not to be flushed... I certainly wasnt about to pick it up and put it in the garbage...
I eventually resorted to coaxing it into the bowl with the toilet plunger, burying it with tp so as to provide ample weight the gurantee the disgusting lump of plastic and man-seed was whisked from my life...
Now if only I could find a large roll of metaphysical toilet paper and a large metaphysical toilet so I could get this memory out of my head...
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Punk Assed Teenagers
What is the deal with punk ass teenagers... I dont mean to go on a rant here... so I wont, but what gives them the right to make my life so difficult...
And as a side note: if you are ever caught shoplifting, and the person running the store says "fess up now and I'll let you off with a warning", he's not kidding, and he will call the cops, so fess up already...
Some people have to learn the hard way it seems (how did she think she was going to get out of the store with two bags of doritos stuffed in her purse?)
Well, we all think philosophy is just fun and games. Semiotics, deconstruction, Lacanian post-Freudian psychoanalysis, it all seems like good, clean fun. But when the heart gets involved, all our painfully acquired metaphysical insights go right out the window, and we're reduced to battling it out like rutting chimpanzees. It's not pretty. If you're in a relationship, and differences over the fundamental principles of your respective subjectivities are making things difficult, maybe it's time to move on. Find someone new, someone who will accept you and the way your laughably limited human intelligence chooses to codify and rationalize the chaos of existence. After all, in the absence of a clear, unquestionable revelation from God, that's all we're all doing anyway. So remember: take care of yourselves - and each other.
Announcer: Be sure to tune in next time, when KKK strippers battle it out with transvestite omnisexual porn stars! Tomorrow on Springer!
And as a side note: if you are ever caught shoplifting, and the person running the store says "fess up now and I'll let you off with a warning", he's not kidding, and he will call the cops, so fess up already...
Some people have to learn the hard way it seems (how did she think she was going to get out of the store with two bags of doritos stuffed in her purse?)
Well, we all think philosophy is just fun and games. Semiotics, deconstruction, Lacanian post-Freudian psychoanalysis, it all seems like good, clean fun. But when the heart gets involved, all our painfully acquired metaphysical insights go right out the window, and we're reduced to battling it out like rutting chimpanzees. It's not pretty. If you're in a relationship, and differences over the fundamental principles of your respective subjectivities are making things difficult, maybe it's time to move on. Find someone new, someone who will accept you and the way your laughably limited human intelligence chooses to codify and rationalize the chaos of existence. After all, in the absence of a clear, unquestionable revelation from God, that's all we're all doing anyway. So remember: take care of yourselves - and each other.
Announcer: Be sure to tune in next time, when KKK strippers battle it out with transvestite omnisexual porn stars! Tomorrow on Springer!
Friday, May 27, 2005
ESL
As I'm sure you know (as most of you should be frequents by now) we have prepay at night at our gas station. You pay, then pump.
This evening, I announced over the intercom that prepaying inside was necessary...
But there was a big van blocking the large window by the till, so I could not see who was comming from where...
An elderly Japanese lady came into the store, and politely says "$20"... with dollar pronounced "dough-lah" in cute little old asian lady voice.
I ask "pump 5? or pump 7?"
she nods and says "yes, yes"
I turn directly to pointing
"pump 5?" in the direction of pump five
"or pump 7?" in the direction of pump 7...
She nods and puts a $20 bill on the table...
I go for it, and put $20 onto pump 7 and tell her to pump away...
She smiles and leaves... nothing is amiss as I clear pump 7 to start pumping (please keep in mind that the van is still in the way)
the gas finishes pumping, and an elderly man walks in to inform me that he wanted to put more gas in, and that pump 7 had stopped at $20 and he was unable to get it to start again... and that the elderly lady at pump 5 was obviously having trouble getting her pump started as well...
Ahahahaha... so now I'm left with $20 of gas that is paid for and pumped by seperate people, and a person who wants more than $20 of gas, but has to pay for a transaction that, for all intents and purposes, has already been completed...
All while I have 20 people in the store, lines up with slurpees and doritos (on special for $1.78 including tax)
Joy!!!
My second story is a bit shorter...
An asian man comes in, asks to prepay for $30 gas, and pays on his credit card...
This is al fine and dandy until he goes back out to his car...
You see, rather than pumping his gas, like he should have, he realized his gas tank was on the opposing side, so he moved around to another pump...
this is very bad because:
1) pre-paying is pump specific and we are not able to switch funds from one pump to the other easily
2) transferring funds from one pump to another involves cancelling one transaction and initiating another transaction
3) Cancelling a credit card transaction requires a customer signature and deposits funds directly back onto the credit card
4) Initiating a new transaction requires the new transaction to be paid for, most likely by the same credit card used to cancel the former transaction...
Do we see the bind I was in...
And there were huge numbers of people in the store...
Oh well... who can you do... I mean what...
This evening, I announced over the intercom that prepaying inside was necessary...
But there was a big van blocking the large window by the till, so I could not see who was comming from where...
An elderly Japanese lady came into the store, and politely says "$20"... with dollar pronounced "dough-lah" in cute little old asian lady voice.
I ask "pump 5? or pump 7?"
she nods and says "yes, yes"
I turn directly to pointing
"pump 5?" in the direction of pump five
"or pump 7?" in the direction of pump 7...
She nods and puts a $20 bill on the table...
I go for it, and put $20 onto pump 7 and tell her to pump away...
She smiles and leaves... nothing is amiss as I clear pump 7 to start pumping (please keep in mind that the van is still in the way)
the gas finishes pumping, and an elderly man walks in to inform me that he wanted to put more gas in, and that pump 7 had stopped at $20 and he was unable to get it to start again... and that the elderly lady at pump 5 was obviously having trouble getting her pump started as well...
Ahahahaha... so now I'm left with $20 of gas that is paid for and pumped by seperate people, and a person who wants more than $20 of gas, but has to pay for a transaction that, for all intents and purposes, has already been completed...
All while I have 20 people in the store, lines up with slurpees and doritos (on special for $1.78 including tax)
Joy!!!
My second story is a bit shorter...
An asian man comes in, asks to prepay for $30 gas, and pays on his credit card...
This is al fine and dandy until he goes back out to his car...
You see, rather than pumping his gas, like he should have, he realized his gas tank was on the opposing side, so he moved around to another pump...
this is very bad because:
1) pre-paying is pump specific and we are not able to switch funds from one pump to the other easily
2) transferring funds from one pump to another involves cancelling one transaction and initiating another transaction
3) Cancelling a credit card transaction requires a customer signature and deposits funds directly back onto the credit card
4) Initiating a new transaction requires the new transaction to be paid for, most likely by the same credit card used to cancel the former transaction...
Do we see the bind I was in...
And there were huge numbers of people in the store...
Oh well... who can you do... I mean what...
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Hands Down, Worst Work Day Ever
So, the title is subjective... Im sure others have had worse experiences... But this takes the cake for me...
Normally I dont work mornings... Ever... And anyone who knows my sleeping habits knows why mornings dont work for me... Actually, their lucky I show up for afternoon shifts either...
But needless to say, when I arrived at work today, I wasnt bright eyed and bushy tailed...
oh no... not even close...
In fact, I probibly resembled something more akin to a rabid badger than a squirrel...
I love mornings oh so much...
I drank some coffee before I ran into my boss, in the hopes that i could convince her that at that moment in time I hated her with a most unquenchable firey hate... well... at least be convincing enough that I could get more hours... Cuz really, I'll do it all over again for the paycheck...
Back to the story... I forced myself to be perky, so as not to piss off any of the customers (morning customers are much nicer than afternoon/evening customers... so I try to be nicer to them as well), and I stuggled to keep on to the false sense of "I <3 JOB" for as long as I could...
I was victorious... my bos left to her meeting having never known my true feelings...
I was home free... or so I thought...
I was just settling into the routine of dusting and serving when my co-worker informed me that she had been asked to do drive arounds (check out competitors prices and communicate back to head office with them) and to do the banking (we buy tons of rolls of change each week in order to have suficient pennies)...
I was then left by myself for the next hour...
Now your probibly thinking... "Oh poor boy had to manage the till all by himself for an hour"... We are a very busy store in a very dense neighbourhood.. and we despense slurpees (the goo of satan)... It was a very rough hour indeed...
She brought me back luch (bless her heart) and gave me twenty minutes to scarf it down before we put the full serve open sign back out...
But of course, rush of customers, and an hour later im eating cold chalupas and watery pop =/
My boss had told me to buy extra pizza subs when the sub guy comes... I haven't worked the shift in about 9 months, so I havent seen the sub guy in as long... And that would be assuming it was the same sub guy (which it, of course, wasnt)... So the McSweeny guy comes into the store with paper and pens and says "I'm here for the delivery"...
I go into drug deal mode "you got the subs"
"none said anything about subs"
"The boss wants extra pizza subs, you got what I need?"
"yeah, i got pizza subs, you sure your looking?"
"if you got what i need, I'm buying"
Needless to say, the conversation didnt progress quite like that, but I ended up buying and extra 20 pizza subs (my boss didnt say how many more she wanted... in fact, she didnt specify how many she would normally get)...
I do my payout for the McSweeny Subs, he drops them o ff in the display case, and I continue about my businaess... Not five minutes after Mr McSweeny leaves, a guy shows up carring an armful of subs and sandwhiches... And makes mention that he brought extra pizza subs but wasnt sure how many extra to bring because my boss didnt specify how many she wanted...
Crap
So now I have 20 pieces of evidence to hide, because I bought 20 pizza subs outside of contract... not to mention that the extra subs I bought aren't the subs that are included in the sub combo, which is the reason we ended up needing more subs in the first place
crap crap crap
Did I mention that we are in a very dense neighbourhood... and also that there are three elementary schools and two high schools within walking distance of my store...
and that we are one of two stores in the area... and we are the closest...
Needless to say, when the schools ended for the day, it was standing room only and I am yelling at kids to "take off [their] godamned roller blades or their going to slip on slurpee goo and break [their] goddamned heads"...
I didnt say goddamned, but I can assure you it was implied with the sound of my voice...
The comes time for second slurpee... I kid you not, the children in my town are like hobbitzes... They need to have first slurpee luch and second slurpee lunch and third slurpee dinner...
And this time they bring their little sibling and parents with stollers, which, despite the lack of baby, must be pushed around the store and through the throngs of customers, almost expecting the aisles to part like the red sea (or reed sea if you listen to Dr Muir and Dr Nelson)...
Thats when the phone calls start...
The first one is nice enough "I had asked your boss to have my car towed because it had stalled, but she had faxed the owner information to the wrong place, and I'm not able to do something because the place where my car is doesnt have that information... can you get your boss to fax it to the right place"
I informed him that my boss was at a meeting and wouldnt be in again today, and he asked if I could do it... I said I would call my boss, see what was up and cal him back... he said "ok but just in case, im going to come out to get a copy for myself"...
I phone my boss, but she was with corporate type people. and told me she would phone back...
I go back to serving the throngs of people..
Another phone call...
"Did you sort everything out with your boss?"
"nope"
"well just get the papers, I'll take them myself"
"I need to get my boss to tell me what papers and where they are"
"okay I'll call back"
I go back to serving customers... when it dies down a bit I call my boss again... no answer...
another phone call
"I'm outside, you got the papers"
"no I havent gotten the papers, Im still waiting on my manager"
"why do you need a manager, just print it off yourself"
"I dont have access to the printer"
"theres a computer right in front of you"
"I dont even know what I would be printing off, and the computer is in the office"
"What kind of retards are they hiring these days, its not my fault your too stupid to do this just pretend that your not stupid and print it off Im in a hurry and I dont have time to wait for a fucking idiot god..."
click... i hung up and started serving the throngs of customers...
another phone call... I let my coworker answer it...
he goes on a rant, she informs him that we're really busy and that if he wants he can come wait in the store, and we'll help him in person as soon as we can...
He says something alaong the lines of her being a lying bitch (it starts with c and rhymes with unt) and that he can see the store and its not busy at all... She informs him it is, and he goes on a long rant in which she holds the phone away from her ear... god only knows what he said...
She hangs up...
It rings again and she answers "cloverdale petro can"
he hangs up...
About ten minutes later, we get a phone call... from his wife, saying that we should conduct our business better and announce what the company is when we answer the phone and that its our fault that this situation occurred and that she is not impressed and blah blah blah blah blah...
That was my day!
Normally I dont work mornings... Ever... And anyone who knows my sleeping habits knows why mornings dont work for me... Actually, their lucky I show up for afternoon shifts either...
But needless to say, when I arrived at work today, I wasnt bright eyed and bushy tailed...
oh no... not even close...
In fact, I probibly resembled something more akin to a rabid badger than a squirrel...
I love mornings oh so much...
I drank some coffee before I ran into my boss, in the hopes that i could convince her that at that moment in time I hated her with a most unquenchable firey hate... well... at least be convincing enough that I could get more hours... Cuz really, I'll do it all over again for the paycheck...
Back to the story... I forced myself to be perky, so as not to piss off any of the customers (morning customers are much nicer than afternoon/evening customers... so I try to be nicer to them as well), and I stuggled to keep on to the false sense of "I <3 JOB" for as long as I could...
I was victorious... my bos left to her meeting having never known my true feelings...
I was home free... or so I thought...
I was just settling into the routine of dusting and serving when my co-worker informed me that she had been asked to do drive arounds (check out competitors prices and communicate back to head office with them) and to do the banking (we buy tons of rolls of change each week in order to have suficient pennies)...
I was then left by myself for the next hour...
Now your probibly thinking... "Oh poor boy had to manage the till all by himself for an hour"... We are a very busy store in a very dense neighbourhood.. and we despense slurpees (the goo of satan)... It was a very rough hour indeed...
She brought me back luch (bless her heart) and gave me twenty minutes to scarf it down before we put the full serve open sign back out...
But of course, rush of customers, and an hour later im eating cold chalupas and watery pop =/
My boss had told me to buy extra pizza subs when the sub guy comes... I haven't worked the shift in about 9 months, so I havent seen the sub guy in as long... And that would be assuming it was the same sub guy (which it, of course, wasnt)... So the McSweeny guy comes into the store with paper and pens and says "I'm here for the delivery"...
I go into drug deal mode "you got the subs"
"none said anything about subs"
"The boss wants extra pizza subs, you got what I need?"
"yeah, i got pizza subs, you sure your looking?"
"if you got what i need, I'm buying"
Needless to say, the conversation didnt progress quite like that, but I ended up buying and extra 20 pizza subs (my boss didnt say how many more she wanted... in fact, she didnt specify how many she would normally get)...
I do my payout for the McSweeny Subs, he drops them o ff in the display case, and I continue about my businaess... Not five minutes after Mr McSweeny leaves, a guy shows up carring an armful of subs and sandwhiches... And makes mention that he brought extra pizza subs but wasnt sure how many extra to bring because my boss didnt specify how many she wanted...
Crap
So now I have 20 pieces of evidence to hide, because I bought 20 pizza subs outside of contract... not to mention that the extra subs I bought aren't the subs that are included in the sub combo, which is the reason we ended up needing more subs in the first place
crap crap crap
Did I mention that we are in a very dense neighbourhood... and also that there are three elementary schools and two high schools within walking distance of my store...
and that we are one of two stores in the area... and we are the closest...
Needless to say, when the schools ended for the day, it was standing room only and I am yelling at kids to "take off [their] godamned roller blades or their going to slip on slurpee goo and break [their] goddamned heads"...
I didnt say goddamned, but I can assure you it was implied with the sound of my voice...
The comes time for second slurpee... I kid you not, the children in my town are like hobbitzes... They need to have first slurpee luch and second slurpee lunch and third slurpee dinner...
And this time they bring their little sibling and parents with stollers, which, despite the lack of baby, must be pushed around the store and through the throngs of customers, almost expecting the aisles to part like the red sea (or reed sea if you listen to Dr Muir and Dr Nelson)...
Thats when the phone calls start...
The first one is nice enough "I had asked your boss to have my car towed because it had stalled, but she had faxed the owner information to the wrong place, and I'm not able to do something because the place where my car is doesnt have that information... can you get your boss to fax it to the right place"
I informed him that my boss was at a meeting and wouldnt be in again today, and he asked if I could do it... I said I would call my boss, see what was up and cal him back... he said "ok but just in case, im going to come out to get a copy for myself"...
I phone my boss, but she was with corporate type people. and told me she would phone back...
I go back to serving the throngs of people..
Another phone call...
"Did you sort everything out with your boss?"
"nope"
"well just get the papers, I'll take them myself"
"I need to get my boss to tell me what papers and where they are"
"okay I'll call back"
I go back to serving customers... when it dies down a bit I call my boss again... no answer...
another phone call
"I'm outside, you got the papers"
"no I havent gotten the papers, Im still waiting on my manager"
"why do you need a manager, just print it off yourself"
"I dont have access to the printer"
"theres a computer right in front of you"
"I dont even know what I would be printing off, and the computer is in the office"
"What kind of retards are they hiring these days, its not my fault your too stupid to do this just pretend that your not stupid and print it off Im in a hurry and I dont have time to wait for a fucking idiot god..."
click... i hung up and started serving the throngs of customers...
another phone call... I let my coworker answer it...
he goes on a rant, she informs him that we're really busy and that if he wants he can come wait in the store, and we'll help him in person as soon as we can...
He says something alaong the lines of her being a lying bitch (it starts with c and rhymes with unt) and that he can see the store and its not busy at all... She informs him it is, and he goes on a long rant in which she holds the phone away from her ear... god only knows what he said...
She hangs up...
It rings again and she answers "cloverdale petro can"
he hangs up...
About ten minutes later, we get a phone call... from his wife, saying that we should conduct our business better and announce what the company is when we answer the phone and that its our fault that this situation occurred and that she is not impressed and blah blah blah blah blah...
That was my day!
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Phone Cards
Quick addition today (sorry)
Guy walks into the store, and with the thickest punjab accent I have ever heard says:
"twenty twenty five two" (imagine this with an east indian accent, or with Quick's generic newfie east indian accent)
Needless to say, I looked at this guy with an absolute blank stare... I honestly dont think I've been more confused in my entire life...
Naturally, he figures if he says it louder, it will make more sense...
"Twenty twenty five two!!" (use the exclaimations as indication for how loud it was)
no response from me
"Twenty twenty five two!!!!!"
I cocked my head sideways slightly
"TWENTY TWENTY FIVE TWO!!!!!!!"
I figured that by now he would understand that I wasn't going to understad him... but he didn't... So I asked him to point... He points to the phone card machine and says "phone card!!!"
I clue in, slightly...
"So you would like a $5 phone card from 20/20" (and long distance phone card distributing company)
"TWO!!! TWO!!!"
so yes... he wanted two $5 20/20 cards... which I gave to him...
and then i went outside to have my first (erm... second) cigarette in the last two weeks...
Guy walks into the store, and with the thickest punjab accent I have ever heard says:
"twenty twenty five two" (imagine this with an east indian accent, or with Quick's generic newfie east indian accent)
Needless to say, I looked at this guy with an absolute blank stare... I honestly dont think I've been more confused in my entire life...
Naturally, he figures if he says it louder, it will make more sense...
"Twenty twenty five two!!" (use the exclaimations as indication for how loud it was)
no response from me
"Twenty twenty five two!!!!!"
I cocked my head sideways slightly
"TWENTY TWENTY FIVE TWO!!!!!!!"
I figured that by now he would understand that I wasn't going to understad him... but he didn't... So I asked him to point... He points to the phone card machine and says "phone card!!!"
I clue in, slightly...
"So you would like a $5 phone card from 20/20" (and long distance phone card distributing company)
"TWO!!! TWO!!!"
so yes... he wanted two $5 20/20 cards... which I gave to him...
and then i went outside to have my first (erm... second) cigarette in the last two weeks...
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Indoctrination
Well, i'm back in Surrey... even better, Im back working at Petro Can... I know some of you are salavating right now, waiting for me to start into my vast array of petro can stories, but sadly, nothing has happened as of yet... Yesterday was a really slow day... And I'm pretty sure, even if we did have any really stupid customers, I probibly wouldnt have remembered them (Starting work at 6am is not something that goes over very well with my body apparently)
I will, of course, try to humour you with a few anecdotes...
For those of you that don't know, BC just had an election... And although I would consider myself a left of centre person, i did end up voting for the bc liberal party (don't let the name fool you, the Liberal party of bc is further right than the NDP party... and actually acts a lot more like the conservative party of cananda rather than the liberal party of canada... especially in regards to speding and taxes...)
I digress...
It seems that a lot of people have forgotten the damage the NDP did the decade they were in power. They turned our economy from the historical stongest (I kid you not, BC had the strongest economy of Canada for most of the time since BC joined confederation) to one that was only moderately better than Newfoundlands. They drove countless headquaters to Calgary, and they caused BC to be in a majour recession whilst the Rest of Canada was seeing growth that hadn't been seen since the post war period of the 50's and 60's...
The liberal came into power 4 years ago, and turned a record breaking deficit into a near record breaking surplus. More jobs, more money, more developement blah blah blah... But due to the economc constraints of trying to get rid of a deficit, heathcare and education spending hasn't increased as much as many would believe it should... So the NDP ended up winning a lot more seats than they did during the last election...
but (thank god) the liberals still have the majourity, and, as this is majour news adn we tend to sell out of papers on majour news days, I was left explaining the election results to a lot of people...
Ah ha ha ha!!!
I love giving the results to people who find out the person they voted for didnt get into power... better yet, I love bragging that the person I voted for did get into power when they go on a rant about how sucky the opposition is...
Anyways...
I had an old lady tell me it was a shame I dye my hair... She gave me a disappointed look and then left the store...
I think thats all I have to add today...
I start graveyard tonight... so maybe we'll have some stories for y'all tomorrow...
Adios
I will, of course, try to humour you with a few anecdotes...
For those of you that don't know, BC just had an election... And although I would consider myself a left of centre person, i did end up voting for the bc liberal party (don't let the name fool you, the Liberal party of bc is further right than the NDP party... and actually acts a lot more like the conservative party of cananda rather than the liberal party of canada... especially in regards to speding and taxes...)
I digress...
It seems that a lot of people have forgotten the damage the NDP did the decade they were in power. They turned our economy from the historical stongest (I kid you not, BC had the strongest economy of Canada for most of the time since BC joined confederation) to one that was only moderately better than Newfoundlands. They drove countless headquaters to Calgary, and they caused BC to be in a majour recession whilst the Rest of Canada was seeing growth that hadn't been seen since the post war period of the 50's and 60's...
The liberal came into power 4 years ago, and turned a record breaking deficit into a near record breaking surplus. More jobs, more money, more developement blah blah blah... But due to the economc constraints of trying to get rid of a deficit, heathcare and education spending hasn't increased as much as many would believe it should... So the NDP ended up winning a lot more seats than they did during the last election...
but (thank god) the liberals still have the majourity, and, as this is majour news adn we tend to sell out of papers on majour news days, I was left explaining the election results to a lot of people...
Ah ha ha ha!!!
I love giving the results to people who find out the person they voted for didnt get into power... better yet, I love bragging that the person I voted for did get into power when they go on a rant about how sucky the opposition is...
Anyways...
I had an old lady tell me it was a shame I dye my hair... She gave me a disappointed look and then left the store...
I think thats all I have to add today...
I start graveyard tonight... so maybe we'll have some stories for y'all tomorrow...
Adios
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Milk Continued
Well... I figured I would make one last post prior to my departure for choir tour... And I have just now come into posession of some pics of the milk off (none of the guys morning show, it would seem) but pics none the less!
http://img97.echo.cx/img97/8817/007400156gb.jpg
http://img247.echo.cx/img247/6865/007400165up.jpg
http://img218.echo.cx/img218/4862/007400185ll.jpg
http://img257.echo.cx/img257/5141/007400190hb.jpg
http://img259.echo.cx/img259/1405/007400205ui.jpg
http://img190.echo.cx/img190/6355/007400228op.jpg
http://img253.echo.cx/img253/2938/007400231bf.jpg
http://img242.echo.cx/img242/6852/007400249lo.jpg
(apologies for the pics not showing... I am not computer literate and its late... so let the copy paste fest begin)
http://img97.echo.cx/img97/8817/007400156gb.jpg
http://img247.echo.cx/img247/6865/007400165up.jpg
http://img218.echo.cx/img218/4862/007400185ll.jpg
http://img257.echo.cx/img257/5141/007400190hb.jpg
http://img259.echo.cx/img259/1405/007400205ui.jpg
http://img190.echo.cx/img190/6355/007400228op.jpg
http://img253.echo.cx/img253/2938/007400231bf.jpg
http://img242.echo.cx/img242/6852/007400249lo.jpg
(apologies for the pics not showing... I am not computer literate and its late... so let the copy paste fest begin)
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Propoganda Time
Well, with an impending federal election (has it been called yet? if not I can't imagine it will be very long) there has been a lot of talk in the forums I frequent about who will be voted for...
One in particular, skyscraperpage (great website btw), I was questioned why I would continue to vote liberal... I answered that, although my beliefs conform more with the green party platform, Harper scares me, and until he is out of the picture, I will vote for the party that i see as having the best chance for standing up against him (and if need be I will change my vote to NDP)...
When asked how Harper scares me, one of my fellow forumers came to my defense with a list of quotes... I think that they are great...
EVERYONE! I urge you... We all know how politics work, and although we vote for a party, we actually end up voting on a person... This is the person who will run our country! Please consider what he is saying, and weigh that against your knowledge of the platform the conservatives present.
I present to you, the list of quotes: (italicized items added by me)
"It's past time the feds scrapped the Canada Health Act."
(Must get rid of the safety blanket that protects all Canadians)
"What we clearly need is experimentation with market reforms and private delivery options [in health care]."
(Because its unfair to the rich that they get the same quality service as the rest of us, eh?)
"Continental economic and security integration" with the U.S. as well as a "continental energy strategy" that should be broadened "to a range of other natural resources."
(Rape, Rape, Rape; Pillage, Pillage, Pillage)
"Canada appears content to become a second-tier socialistic country, boasting ever more loudly about its economy and social services to mask its second-rate status, led by a second-world strongman appropriately suited for the task."
(The eighth largest economy, and one of the highest standards of living... Second tier socialism is working, wouldn't you say?)
"make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been...As a religion, bilingualism is the god that failed. It has led to no fairness, produced no unity, and cost Canadian taxpayers untold millions.”
(Don't have to worry about him getting the Quebec vote... phew)
“It is imperative to take the initiative, to build firewalls around Alberta"
(Sharing means caring... Alberta doesn't care?)
"Albertans in particular, need to think hard about their
future in this country. After sober reflection, Albertans should decide that it is time to seek a new relationship with Canada. …Having hit a wall, the next logical step is not to bang our heads against it. It is to take the bricks and begin building another home. It is time to look at Quebec and to learn."
(LMAO! Alberta certainly wasn't complaining when they were the ones getting the handouts when their economy went bust... guess what, one province is always going to be in first place, and they're not always going to be able to seperate)
“Whether Canada ends up as one national government or two national governments or several national governments, or some other kind of arrangement is, quite frankly, secondary in my opinion…"
("I don't care if this country falls apart..." WOW!!!)
"There is a dependence in the region (Atlantic Canada) that breeds a culture of defeatism,"
(No... it's decades of being told that their too stupid to care for themselves by HtT pronvinces that leads to Altlantic defeatism)
"You've got to remember that west of Winnipeg the ridings the Liberals hold are dominated by people who are recent Asian immigrants: people who live in ghettoes and who are not integrated into western Canadian society."
(!!!!!!I cannot believe he is allowed to make comments like this!!!!!!!!)
“I don't know all the facts on Iraq, but I think we should work closely with the Americans.”
(In his defense this is, apparently, before no WMD's were found...)
“We should have been there shoulder to shoulder with our allies. Our concern is the instability of our government as an ally."
(Invade first... if BushCo does it, it must be right)
"there is now no more important foreign policy interest for Canada
than maintaining the ability to exercise effective influence in Washington so as to advance unique Canadian policy objectives.”
(Canada was founded upon manipulation of it's allies... seems reasonable to continue
/sarcasm off)
"we support the war effort and believe we should be supporting our troops and our allies and be there with them doing everything necessary to win"
(War mongering, anyone... I for one support nothing more than the peace keeping Canada is known and loved for)
“We must aim to make [Canada] a lower tax jurisdiction than the United States.”
(Lower taxes does not make sense... Well, at least to me... Where do we suppose our taxes got to? To pay for roads, schools, health care, welfare... Would we rather user fees? Would you rather only have to pay every time you drove on a road, or should we have a fee for elementary school kids... kick 'em out if their parents don't fork out the cash... I refuse to aknowledge any person who complains about taxes, but has ever taken advantage of the things that taxes afford us... Human life over profit... I'm done now)
I really Hope you will all take this into consideration... To say that its important, to me, is an understatement... Farewell
One in particular, skyscraperpage (great website btw), I was questioned why I would continue to vote liberal... I answered that, although my beliefs conform more with the green party platform, Harper scares me, and until he is out of the picture, I will vote for the party that i see as having the best chance for standing up against him (and if need be I will change my vote to NDP)...
When asked how Harper scares me, one of my fellow forumers came to my defense with a list of quotes... I think that they are great...
EVERYONE! I urge you... We all know how politics work, and although we vote for a party, we actually end up voting on a person... This is the person who will run our country! Please consider what he is saying, and weigh that against your knowledge of the platform the conservatives present.
I present to you, the list of quotes: (italicized items added by me)
"It's past time the feds scrapped the Canada Health Act."
(Must get rid of the safety blanket that protects all Canadians)
"What we clearly need is experimentation with market reforms and private delivery options [in health care]."
(Because its unfair to the rich that they get the same quality service as the rest of us, eh?)
"Continental economic and security integration" with the U.S. as well as a "continental energy strategy" that should be broadened "to a range of other natural resources."
(Rape, Rape, Rape; Pillage, Pillage, Pillage)
"Canada appears content to become a second-tier socialistic country, boasting ever more loudly about its economy and social services to mask its second-rate status, led by a second-world strongman appropriately suited for the task."
(The eighth largest economy, and one of the highest standards of living... Second tier socialism is working, wouldn't you say?)
"make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been...As a religion, bilingualism is the god that failed. It has led to no fairness, produced no unity, and cost Canadian taxpayers untold millions.”
(Don't have to worry about him getting the Quebec vote... phew)
“It is imperative to take the initiative, to build firewalls around Alberta"
(Sharing means caring... Alberta doesn't care?)
"Albertans in particular, need to think hard about their
future in this country. After sober reflection, Albertans should decide that it is time to seek a new relationship with Canada. …Having hit a wall, the next logical step is not to bang our heads against it. It is to take the bricks and begin building another home. It is time to look at Quebec and to learn."
(LMAO! Alberta certainly wasn't complaining when they were the ones getting the handouts when their economy went bust... guess what, one province is always going to be in first place, and they're not always going to be able to seperate)
“Whether Canada ends up as one national government or two national governments or several national governments, or some other kind of arrangement is, quite frankly, secondary in my opinion…"
("I don't care if this country falls apart..." WOW!!!)
"There is a dependence in the region (Atlantic Canada) that breeds a culture of defeatism,"
(No... it's decades of being told that their too stupid to care for themselves by HtT pronvinces that leads to Altlantic defeatism)
"You've got to remember that west of Winnipeg the ridings the Liberals hold are dominated by people who are recent Asian immigrants: people who live in ghettoes and who are not integrated into western Canadian society."
(!!!!!!I cannot believe he is allowed to make comments like this!!!!!!!!)
“I don't know all the facts on Iraq, but I think we should work closely with the Americans.”
(In his defense this is, apparently, before no WMD's were found...)
“We should have been there shoulder to shoulder with our allies. Our concern is the instability of our government as an ally."
(Invade first... if BushCo does it, it must be right)
"there is now no more important foreign policy interest for Canada
than maintaining the ability to exercise effective influence in Washington so as to advance unique Canadian policy objectives.”
(Canada was founded upon manipulation of it's allies... seems reasonable to continue
/sarcasm off)
"we support the war effort and believe we should be supporting our troops and our allies and be there with them doing everything necessary to win"
(War mongering, anyone... I for one support nothing more than the peace keeping Canada is known and loved for)
“We must aim to make [Canada] a lower tax jurisdiction than the United States.”
(Lower taxes does not make sense... Well, at least to me... Where do we suppose our taxes got to? To pay for roads, schools, health care, welfare... Would we rather user fees? Would you rather only have to pay every time you drove on a road, or should we have a fee for elementary school kids... kick 'em out if their parents don't fork out the cash... I refuse to aknowledge any person who complains about taxes, but has ever taken advantage of the things that taxes afford us... Human life over profit... I'm done now)
I really Hope you will all take this into consideration... To say that its important, to me, is an understatement... Farewell
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